This And That, The Goodbye April Version

 

Why? WHY?!

Tomorrow is May 1st, and I am still trying to figure out where in the heck April went. Also, will someone please inform the Weather Deities that it is May and not February. We have had two freeze warnings in the past ten days, and I have 11 basil plants sitting all over my kitchen, waiting to be put in my herb garden. I've already trimmed them down once. It would be great to get them into the ground before I have to do it again, you know? Look at those hideous temperatures and ALL THAT RAIN. Ridiculous and completely unacceptable. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I already put away all my sweaters and toasty clothes. It's just wrong.

Speaking of basil, our friend Butch who owns a local garden center sent over a plastic grocery bag full of basil trimmings from the greenhouse. I wasn't feeling awesome, but I immediately got out my food processor and all the ingredients to make pesto. Thank goodness Rick is amenable to helping, and the tedious job of pulling all the leaves off the basil went quickly. As a result, I have this:

The Goya jars are old; I am still boycotting them.

That, plus a few cubes that I froze, is just a little over a quart of pesto, and it was well worth the effort. A couple of the jars went to Butch today, and I'll likely give one to Jared. THE REST ARE MINE, ALL MINE!

Back when the weather was lovely, I started letting Piper out into the back yard while I was on the patio. He always goes out to the front yard with me each morning when I put out peanuts for the blue jays (and squirrels), and he behaves very nicely. After several minutes of hollering at me from the back door, I let him out for a trial run. Here he is, relaxing among the daffodil fronds, which he nibbles on.

I can't wait to uncover and get the pond and waterfall running;
he'll really enjoy that.

Inspired by Julie, I started thinking about going through my books, which are also double-shelved, one row in front of the other. A Little Free Library several blocks from me has had the same crummy books for years, most of them being old management textbooks and religious stuff. The door recently blew off in a terrible storm we had, and I was going to get Rick to repair it before I cleaned it out and put my donations in. Luckily, someone already replaced the door, and they also got rid of the shitful books in it. I've set aside a few books so far, but I need to do a deep dive. I've got a few cookbooks to put in there, a graphic novel (the original Creepshow by Stephen King), some little kid books, and I'll see what else I can part with. I never even read Creepshow; I bought it because I was a major Stephen King enthusiast until his writing started getting repetitive and his endings kept sucking. It's this one:

photo found on Ebay; mine is in mint condition

Speaking of books, I finally finished Dark Renaissance:  The Dangerous Times and Fatal Genius of Shakespeare's Biggest Rival by Stephen Greenblatt. It was a very deep dive into the life and death of Christopher Marlowe, poet, dramatist, spy, and Shakespeare contemporary. Honestly, it was a bit of a slog, but also fascinating. People during the Renaissance had it tough. Being a Catholic got you tortured and killed; being suspected of being Catholic also got you tortured and killed. Queen Elizabeth I was constantly on guard because Mary, Queen of Scots was a threat to her throne. Liz took care of business, though, and had her executed. Both of them had myriad spies, and Christopher (Kit) Marlowe was just one of many working for Elizabeth.

I have since moved on to John and Paul: A Love Story in Songs, which is a compelling book about Lennon and McCartney, starting with the early days of their partnership, which lasted more than 20 years. I've been a Beatles fan since I was four or five years old, thanks to my older sister, who was obsessed with them and played their music all the time. This tells their story via hit songs in chronological order. It includes some photographs and so much that I never knew about the Beatles from their inception to the dissolution of the band to the death of John and more. I'll finish this one up tonight or tomorrow, but I'll be thinking about it for a long time, especially when I hear any Beatles song.

Speaking of Rock and Roll--actually just Rocks--I ordered those cute little ghostie rocks that were the header image in my last post. I decided to treat myself for my birthday (3 May). They're arriving today, but we're currently at the lake. I can't wait to tuck them around my yard. 

We were at the lake last week for a couple of days, too. I wanted to try and reset my sleep, which has been lousy lately. I got a little better sleep, but I was still awake at about 6:45 AM. It was okay, though, because I saw this gorgeous sunrise right outside the sliding doors of the bedroom:

#NoFilter

Finally--and thanks for sticking with me thus far--I'll be celebrating my birthday with Joy in my heart. One of the reasons is because of my wonderful family. Jared, Sam, Jordan, Theo, and Rick make me happy every day. Another reason is because of you. I am so grateful for this community of ours and how it has led me to so many, many friends. I am fortunate, and I know that. Thank you all. 

Porch Martinis and Peanut M & Ms: A Public Service Announcement

In a completely astonishing turn of events, I have become 66 years old. It's done no good to refuse it; the reality of it stubbornly exists, and I just have to live with it. There are times when I completely forget about how old I am, but then there are days like yesterday, when I am putting in my herb garden and attempting to help Rick get the little pond and waterfall cleaned up and running again, and weeding and yardworking, and my body reminds me that it's NOT HAVING IT AND HEY! REMEMBER YOUR ARTHRITIS ALL OVER THE PLACE?

This morning was a nightmare.

Can I buy Aleve by the drum?

Anyway.

Not too long ago on our way home from working at the lakehouse, I mentioned that I was in the mood for a martini. I didn't really want to go someplace to get one, but it sounded good. Of course, we had nothing at all at home to make one. That's when my hero answered the call:  we stopped at a liquor store on the way home and Rick got everything we needed to make not only martinis, but cosmopolitans, too. And The Porch Martini was born. 

I cannot recommend this highly enough. Rick makes lovely dirty martinis or cosmopolitans (aka pink martinis), and we sit on the front porch relaxing, chatting, and watching the world go by. Sometimes we let the cats out and let them enjoy the porch as well. It's an unwritten rule that we cannot discuss stressful things--that would disrupt The Porch Martini Vibe. It's the ultimate relaxation for me. We each have two martinis and sometimes some snacks. I've wholeheartedly embraced The Porch Martini. (And come on--everyone looks and feels so cool even just holding those glasses.)

But even as I've embraced The Porch Martini, I've had to break up with (for now!) Peanut M & Ms. Again. This gives me no end of grief, for as you know, not only do I consider them The World's Most Perfect Food, it proves that I did NOT learn my lesson from 2023. Conveniently, however, this time I can blame Rick for my transgression. Yes, he did thoughtfully ask if I wanted anything from the kitchen. True, I did say, "I do, but I don't know what," and he brought me just the right snack, said Peanut M & Ms. He did, however, just plop a big sack of them (thoughtfully given to me on my birthday by Jordan, my daughter-in-law) on the table next to me rather than give me a little portion. After two martinis, I just kept popping them into my mouth whilst watching Netflix, and pretty soon, (like the Cheetos and Lay's Original Potato Chips before them) they turned on me. Now, I've had to ask Rick to hide them while I see other snacks, like red grapes and the pretzels that look like little checkerboards.

You know, I've just read this over, and I am a bit concerned as to what sort of example I am setting for those of you who are younger. People who buy liquor are heroes! Booze it up on your porch! 

Yet, I am advocating for Snacking In Moderation. And Dealing With Your Stress. And Physical Activity In Your Advanced Years.

Really, this post is a Public Service, if you think about it.

You're welcome. 

image

Finally!

 

Whew! After so many agonizing hours (for Jared and Jordan, too! LOL), Theo arrived this morning with a little help from a surgical team. Everyone's fine and doing well.

I've already added his birthday to my iPhone calendar because that's what you do in a haze of Joy and Relief and Oh I Don't Know What. 

He's beautiful and sweet, and I can't wait to see him and hold him and breathe him in like the first spring breeze after a long, cold winter. 

I want to hold my son and tell him again how much I love him and how proud I am of him. And I want to hug Jordan and tell her what a warrior she is and how I love her for her strength and unwavering devotion. 

It's a Big Day. Theo is here.

image 

7 Samples Of My Summer So Far

 

Rather than run through a litany of excuses for my absence here of late, I'd rather jump right in and go for it. 

1. Random Photos--Signs: 

I ran across this first one on my way to pick up my mother for a doctor's appointment. Unlike the hostas, the cannas must be there of their own free will.

This is a front porch I pass on my daily walk. I keep imagining someone standing in front of their door, deciding whether or not to knock.

2. Random Photo--Grocery Store Find:  My funny grocery store has this on offer, and it's awful. 

Obviously, the reason this ended up in the Closeouts section of my grocery store is because it's supposed to read MOM IS WAY MORE FUN NOW THAT SHE CAN DRINK AGAIN. Because of the typo, it sounds really inebriated and illiterate, and no one is buying it. (I don't buy stemless wine glasses, period, but that's beside the point here.)

3. Speaking of Wine:  We had a jaunt up to Canada earlier this month and enjoyed another lovely long weekend and a new release party at our favourite winery. Our cellar is restocked and so is our Good Humour. The trip came at a very good time for us both, and we were so glad to reconnect with friends and places we love.

4.  Places We Love:  Lake season is in full swing, and we had a terrific Memorial Day weekend with the whole family, enjoying the boat, the house, fishing, and a fire. On Sunday we all went to dinner to celebrate the Springtime Birthdays at our favourite restaurant, which was a longtime desire of mine. It was such a Joy to see everyone around the table, having such a great time.

5.  Good Times:  The Asian Tree Lilacs are in bloom all along my walking route, and their scent is heavenly. Several years ago, our neighborhood streets were completely torn up with a major water/sewer project. So many mature silver maples were destroyed. But they were replaced with oaks and Asian Tree Lilacs, and I am grateful.  The blue jays continue to patronize my breakfast buffet, holding my cats in thrall every morning. I put a few peanuts on the window sashes and even on the welcome mat so that the jays come very close. 

6.  Knitting Stuff:  For my Knitting Friends--I finally got all those damn ends woven in on my mitred square blanket, and I knitted the last two squares. Hooray! It's kind of a  skinny-looking blanket, and it could really use at least one or two more rows, but not anytime soon. I'm now knitting a baby blanket. The pattern instructed me to do a long-tail cast on, but I hate those and avoid them at all costs. (123 stitches--nope.)  Instead, I did a knitted cast on. Will it matter? I'm thinking no, just for a baby blanket.

7.  Things That Matter:  Years ago, this was a far more Political blog. I am still very politically aware and active; make no mistake about that. My Politics have not changed in the least. I did, however, have to make a conscious decision to draw a bright line, keeping certain parts of my life free from politics so that I have more stress-free zones.  Don't mistake that for tolerance or acceptance. I'm sure so many of you are the same. 

At this point in June, way back when I was teaching, Summer still felt so young and new to me. Vacation was just starting, and I was energized by the possibilities of the weeks ahead:  so many books to read! so much time unpunctuated by bells and demands! so many evenings unencumbred by papers to grade and lessons to prepare and phone calls to make! Summertime felt brilliant and potent; each day was like a gift to be unwrapped. 

I hope your Summertime (one of my favourite words ever) feels like that, even a little bit, every now and then. 

Thanks for being here and waiting for me (like Walt Whitman). Chat me up in Comments.

The Joy Of Six

The Dept. of Nance is six!

I know.  I share your astonishment.  I, too, thought that by now The Authorities would have dismantled this site for its shameless refusal to Have A Central Theme And Purpose, or for its unmitigated temerity in acting so contrary to most Online Tendencies in not simply fading away and becoming a Twitter feed or a commercial repository in its host's desire to Brand Herself, thus hoping to score a mention on the Today Show or in TV Guide's Hot List.

Oh, wait. My other site already got both of those things.  Sigh.  And I'm still not famous?  WT--?

Anyway, the Dept. is six, and in six years, I've covered a lot of territory.

With SIX You Get Eggroll:  Rick, Sam, and Jared all provide me with a great deal of blog fodder.  Being the only woman in the family of three huge men, at least there is that tradeoff.  These days, the boys live out on their own.  When they do come over--and at the same time--it's exhausting.  I'm thrilled and grateful that they are each other's best friend, but the constant ribbing and riffing is like being part of an Abbot and Costello/Lenny Bruce routine.  They toss me around like a beanbag, defy my MomLogic, and exchange dubious glances with their father, who is largely no help at all. I have No Idea why I had all these children.  Here are a few of my favourite posts about all this Madness:  If You Are Ever Invited To Dinner;  And That's What's Known As Relativity; I Ain't A-Scared Of You!; and Premature EjacYULEation.

SIX Feet Under:  Here at the Dept., I've even dealt with the subject of death a few times, and that's one I'm not entirely comfortable with. I will be vastly annoyed by my own, I'm sure, especially if it inconveniences me, such as if it occurs when I am not suitably dressed, not wearing makeup, or if it causes me to do anything unseemly, like make an inappropriate noise or facial expression.  I prefer the old cinematic deaths wherein the woman can lie in her bed and look pathetic and wistful, then flutter her eyelids a few times and sigh while her Significant Handsome Male holds her pale, manicured hand.  Aside from all of that, though, here are a few posts wherein I did chat about The Grim Reaper, in a very Nanceian way:  If A Blogger Falls In The Forest;When Walt Whitman Said "To Die Is..."; and Reports Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated. 

SIX A.M.:  For all six of the years I've been writing at this site, I've been teaching English and Creative Writing I and II at a "large urban public high school with a significant minority population."  I set alarms to get up, but my internal clock got me up by 6:15 every morning.  All this summer, I still get up before seven, even without Piper and Marlowe tugging at my hair and nudging me to fill their dish.  I wrote quite a few posts about my days at The Rock, as it was known before the New Place was built, and it's a bittersweet look back.  My Dept. Faithful will no doubt remember some of these:  It's A Perception Thing; Ahhh, Youth; Of Edgar And Literature And Abraham Lincoln; Somewhere In Here There's A Great Pun...; Hostage Crisis Ends Without Bloodshed; and Flamingoes: They Don't Teach You This In Teachers' College.  That last one...well, every teacher should read it when he or she is feeling like Society's Whipping Boy, which is all the time these days.  Kind of a good reminder.

Concession Road 6:  This phrase won't mean anything to you, but it brings a smile of recognition and satisfaction to me.  That stretch of asphalt lies in Ontario province, Canada, and is home to one of my favourite wineries, Cattail Creek. Rick and I discovered it when it first opened and we were hooked.  Thus began our love affair with Ontario's wines.  We laugh now when we think back to our initial foray into a winery:  we walked in, looked around, were immediately overwhelmed and intimidated, and walked out. Finally, we took a tour of a winery which included an instructional group tasting, and our obsession was born. Right now, we have a pretty well-stocked cellar, and you might want to do a little Time Travel and Tasting here:  A Taste Of My Vaca-hic-tion; Day 2, So Much Wine...; and I Don't Look At It As Wine....  There has been so much more wine, and so many new wineries have opened up since then; I just haven't described them.

The SIX O'Clock News:  I've been a news junkie for most of my life.  My father read the paper religiously, even reading it aloud to my mother as she cooked dinner. We watched the news at six and discussed it during and after meals. And I was a papergirl back in high school. I delivered the local paper to 43 customers seven days a week, reading one as I tossed its companions into front and side doors all along the route. Politics--well, that goes without saying. Our local Cleveland news at six is horrendous. I wait for Brian and his tie at six-thirty, but I wander among CNN, MSNBC, and HLN all day when I'm home. And if I'm not on a break from NPR, I grab that in my car.  What can I say?  It's an addiction, as you can tell from:  I Need The Cronkite 12-Step Program; If There's A Law Against This,Then...; Christmas Kickoff...Complete With Crocs And A Six-Pack; Extra! Extra! Read All About It!; In Which I Worry Whether I Am A Bad Person; In The End, It's All Politics; and It's Called Priorities, America.

SIX Degrees of Separation:  Often, I have lamented the distressing reality that is my life in Minutae, Ohio Northeast.  I have Zero Chance of ever seeing anyone of note in the local establishments.  This does not stop me from writing about them here. Here at the Dept., I can freely discuss my decades-long relationship with Daniel Day-Lewis, my on and off dalliance with Johnny Depp, my puzzlement over my attraction to Hugh Laurie, my devotion to the President (only a couple get the capital P), and my List.  Oh, the List.  It's been overhauled as of late, but the top spot is still...well, we can talk about that later.  (You've got one, right? Oh, everyone should!) To dish, start clicking up: DoN Takes A Look At Her Cabinet; DoN Weighs In On Infidelity; The List; Politics Make Strange...; O! Whatever Should We Do Without Men?; and Why Daniel Day-Lewis And Ohio Are Really Irritating Me, to name a few. 

And those are only SIX things that the number SIX made me think of.  We didn't even get into cows, bunnies, polar bears, stupid smackdowns, fashion, food, grammar, or oh, so very many things that I feel are under the purview of this, the Dept. of Nance. 

It has been my very great pleasure to host you here.  For those of you who have been here for all SIX years, you hold a Very Special Place In My Heart.  For those of you who have arrived because you found one of my comments elsewhere and became curious, or who read me and comment even though Blogger is tedious, or who are former students and colleagues and family and friends, you also hold a Very Special Place In My Heart.  Thank you.  Now, please, won't you all have some cake? You're certain to find one that you'll like.

The Dept. Is 5 And I Have A Little Something For You

In spite of dire predictions from Conventional Wisdom, right-wing pundits, Interpol, and several Celebrity Astrologers from all over the Interwebs, the Dept. of Nance is celebrating its Fifth Anniversary!

It's true: the Dept. has been bringing you a fresh perspective on shoes, cows, polar bears, politics, bad fashion, and oh hell, just about everything for Five Whole Years now. Probably you cannot imagine Life Before The Dept., and it's best you not try. Instead, let's have a little revelry to commemorate this milestone.

As Longtime Reader Ortizzle once sagely commented to me: Without you, My Readers, this blog is nothing but an Internet Diary. Therefore, I'd like to include you in this celebration of 5 by asking you to be active participants. Choose any of the following 5 activities/questions to respond to in comments. Or, run with them on your own blog and link to them in comments. Ready? Let's celebrate 5!

1. Did anything of major cultural or historical significance happen when you were 5? In 1964 when I was 5, my older, cooler sister was already a Major Beatles Fan. On February 9, 1964, at 8 P.M., life at my house came to a standstill so that we could all sit around the black and white television and watch The Ed Sullivan Show. When The Beatles came on, Patti was enthralled and I, already in the throes of idol-worship, copied her every move. She was leaned forward, eyes glued on the screen. I didn't know I was watching history then, but I still remember every minute of it.

2. What are 5 things that really, really frost your cupcakes? My longtime readers know I have more than 5 of these, but here are 5 of my pet peeves: flip-flops in public, people dressing poorly in public, inappropriate cellphone usage in public, parents who don't control their children in restaurants, lateness, improper apostrophe usage on signage.

3. Are there ideas, topics, issues in the past 5 years that you wish I had written about but I never have? Maybe you have a great idea or maybe you're curious about something. Let's hear it. It's been 5 years. Why wait?

4. 5 Degrees of Separation? How did you find/hear about/get to the Dept. of Nance? Most of you are Longtime Readers; I have no way of knowing who my lurkers are (Come out, come out--5 years is long enough to hide! Give me a thrill). I'm curious. How did you find me amid the millions and millions of blogs out in the cyberworld?

5. Fab 5. I've got Favorite Posts, of course, and even I'm not vain enough to think that you remember enough of my Archive to have them too. But here are 5 of My Best Ones, in my opinion, should you care to browse:

1. Personal Jesus
2. The Dept. Presents "What Not To Wear" Meets "Hardball"
3. ...But Fear Itself
4. My Latest Obsession: I Stand Up For Mary Lincoln
5. Watching And Thinking About Blueberries

Finally, here's a photo of me standing in front of my grandmother's house, taken when I was 5. It's a bit prophetic, really. I'm blissfully holding a kitten. I have no idea whose it was, then or now. Oddly enough, it looks quite a bit like Piper, my new Boy Kitten, who I very much enjoy holding now. I was always finding stray animals to rescue in some way, baby birds who had fallen out of their nests, sad little wandering kittens, trapped butterflies or moths struggling in spider's webs. I'm sure that after my mother took this picture, she firmly impressed upon me that I was not taking that cat home. And I didn't. One of the few times that I listened to Mom about a pet.

But I digress. (Again.) If there's anything else you'd like to add to help celebrate the Dept.'s Fifth Anniversary, please do! It doesn't have to be 5 things. But it can...!

Oh my, where are my manners? Do have some cake.


(But just a little cake. Remember, I'm trying to cut back.)

Time Flies When You're Having A Super Time: The Dept. Turns 4 And Feels Fantastic

Dear readers, a few days ago An Auspicious Occasion sneaked right up and subsequently passed me by unnoticed and without commemoration by anyone, even the vast web of the Internets. On August 6th, the Dept. of Nance turned four!

And They said it wouldn't last. Ha!

Though I have not become a Blogging Success Story with a book deal and appearances on a myriad of television shows, my foray into the online writing world has been pretty much what I'd looked for when I set out on August 6th, 2005: I wanted to practice what I preach to my creative writing classes, that writers write. I wanted to see if I had the discipline to stick with writing on a pretty regular basis. I wanted to toss my views out there and see if anyone wanted to talk about them with me. I wanted to improve my own writing style and skills in order to keep my voice fresh.
It's been fun, and I've been happy with what I've published here.

In honor of the Dept.'s Fourth Birthday, I've settled on the theme of The Fantastic Four. I'll choose four representative posts from each of the four years and link back to them, based upon the character from the Marvel Comic series. Hope you enjoy this retrospective, and, if you're a new reader to the Dept., then you're getting...five posts in one!

Are you lucky, or what?

Mr. Fantastic--The leader and smartypants of the group, he can stretch his body into incredible lengths and shapes. In this post about Christmas falling on a Sunday in 2005, I took a big risk for a new blogger looking for a readership when I smacked around the hypocrisy of right-wing fundamentalist religious zealots. Honestly, I think it is smart. But it was a big stretch for me as I tried to find my niche.

Invisible Woman--She can bend light around her body, rendering herself invisible while generating powerful force fields. Boy oh boy, did I ever feel like my blog was doing this while I waited for comments to start appearing. So frustrating! But in 2006, I finally saw comments begin, and some posts' comments even broke into the double-digits. I have a feeling about why this post got so much traffic, though. The title and the illustration, though, may have rendered my actual writing...well, invisible. Sigh.

Human Torch--This superhero can fly while surrounded by self-generated flames. In the words of that great 21st century philosopher and heiress, P. Hilton, "That's hot." (Sorry. That hurt me just as much as it did you. What I do for laughs....) Anyway, in 2007, I got all fired up about what, exactly, the Dept. of Nance would do if it were, in fact, an actual Government Department. This post outlined very clearly what I would require and where my agenda would begin. It is my strenuous opinion that I am still greatly needed in Washington, D.C. I can start immediately.

Thing--this is the odd-looking being who possesses superhuman strength and endurance, due mostly to his organic stone-encrusted flesh. (Okay, yuck. Isn't there a really good lab-created moisturizer for that? I'm just saying.) Longtime readers here know that I routinely explore/exploit a few themes, those things which consistently irk and irritate me. This post is representative of those bothersome bugbears which I am doomed to perpetually endure and thereby lament every so often in this forum.

A word: I think the downside of being a Longevity Blogger is that perhaps newer readers never see some fun, good stuff I wrote back in the earlier days. That's one of the reasons I included the LinkWithin widget at the end of each post although it doesn't crawl very deeply into my archives, and to be honest, I'm befuddled at the so-called relationship it finds between the existing post and the past three it suggests.

So to celebrate my own 4th birthday, I'm going to start randomly grabbing an archival post from other bloggers' sites and read something from their Time Troves. I think it could be...well, Fantastic.

If Life Is A Highway, Then I'm Due For A Bathroom Break

I'm going to be 50 soon, and while my age has never been an Issue with me, I've been thinking a little bit about whether or not I've learned anything, really, in the half-century that I've been alive. I mean, I know I've learned things, but at the risk of becoming too introspective (my mother always chided me, "Nance, you think too much!"), I wonder if, in my later adult years, I've come to absorb any Valuable Life Lessons.
I think I have. But the thing is, I have to keep at them. They're not easy. It's not that I'm a Slow Learner, or a Special Education Student At Life. It's just that, as I've said over at my other blog, I like to think that I'm on a continuous Journey Of Self-Improvement.

One of the hardest things I've learned is to accept help. I am almost compulsive about doing things by myself, always have been. I studied by myself, paid for college by myself, and being a student by nature, read every single book about wedding planning, pregnancy, child-rearing, oh, you name the lifestage, and I researched and read about it. I made sure to be an expert so that I could implement My Plan for each one By Myself. Then, I was amazed when it didn't go exactly as The Book said it would. (Damn babies. They are the ones who should read the books!) Yet, I'd soldier on and carefully refuse anyone's assistance. Finally, after my first real bout of terrible illness several years ago, it became impossible to Do It All. It was terribly humbling. But I came to realize that the most romantic words my husband can utter are these: I'll take care of it.

The second most difficult thing I've learned is very basic: Shut Up. As you undoubtedly know, I'm a woman of strong conviction and strong opinion. But I've had to learn that it isn't necessarily important to make them known all the time. I used to think, "I have to say something! I can't let him get away with that remark or he'll think that I feel it's okay" or "How ridiculous! I have to set her straight on that immediately." Um, no, I don't. Not every social conversation is life or death; not every chat has to be momentous. I'm not the world's political or moral policeman. (Or grammar officer, for that matter! LOL.) This one is still very tough for me, almost on a daily basis. Thank goodness I have the Dept. and Stuff On Our List as outlets.

The irony of these two Lessons is this: it's also important to learn the opposite lessons. One of the things I've learned along the way (to a fault, some would say) is to rely upon myself. I have never waited in my life for someone to step up and do something for me. I still think, for the most part, that it's a pretty good way to live. I (and, of course, Rick) have tried to raise Sam and Jared that way. And as far as that second one, well, if you don't speak up and stand up for your beliefs--refusing to kowtow to others just because they wield some sort of false authority or majority--then you've lost your character and integrity. The old adage is so true: If you don't stand for something, then you'll fall for anything.

Turning 50 won't change a thing, as far as I'm concerned. I hate those fakey Milestone Birthday things--black balloons, "Over The Hill" themed cards, joke gifts like Depends and Geritol and all that crap. If I had my way, I'd buy a new pair of red high heels and go out for martinis.

The Content of Its Character

I'm off today for Martin Luther King Day. My sister who works in the bank is off, too. My husband, a project manager for a construction firm is not off, and my sons who work in retail are not off. My mom is getting a hip replacement today, so her surgeon is not off, either.

When I go back to school tomorrow, a few of my black students will likely start talking about MLK Day and it will lead to Black History Month and they will start joking/not joking in their way about how Black History Month is in February, the shortest month of the year. And some white students will start in about how there is no White History Month or Puerto Rican History Month, etcetera etcetera etcetera, until I just stop it before I have to set them all on fire.

Or perhaps I will make the point that at least MLK Day still has its dignity. As of this writing, there are no MLK Day Sales in the paper. Macy's has no 20% off coupons "in honor of" MLK Day as they do for Presidents' Day, Memorial Day, and Labor Day. Martin Luther King, Jr. is still honored by civic programs and commemorative marches in our town, not by people opening their pools or ceasing to wear white shoes. His speeches are made by church and secular leaders to respectful crowds; retail outlets are not decked in cheap patriotic bunting in order to sell unrelated seasonal goods. Sometimes the point made is missed.