Goodbye, August. You Can Show Yourself Out

 

Goodbye, August. Be on your way and don't give September any ideas, unless it's for the beautiful blue skies, voluptuous clouds, and refreshing temperatures you've left as parting gifts. Other than that, take your leave and all your lousy vibes with you.

I've been struggling with a mystery condition for a while now. After any exertion my muscles suddenly become very weak. I start losing my balance; my feet will scuff the ground when I walk, causing me to trip, then fall. Sometimes, I can sense it happening; other times, I have no warning at all. My arms have no strength, and my hands shake at times with tremors. I cannot carry anything of much heft, and there are times I can't steadily put a drink to my lips. As you can no doubt guess, this has put an end to my daily walks; I haven't been able to take one for a month. 

I miss them more than you could ever imagine. And I am so very tired so much of the time.

This is eerily reminiscent of my Vitamin D deficiency in 2017, except that I've been supplementing D religiously since then. Obviously, these symptoms prompted a visit to my primary care physician, who ordered some labs and a visit with my neurologist. Her initial diagnosis is that my very high dose of Topamax for migraine prevention, that I've been on for twenty years, might now be just too high for my tolerance at my age. "I worry that we might be doing this to you, not a disease process," she said. My dosage of Topamax is extremely high--higher than what is usually recommended--in order to control my migraines. My neurologist--actually his NP--ordered more labs and stepped down my Topamax as a possible solution. Another possible diagnosis is myasthenia gravis; unfortunately, there is no definitive test for it, only markers to look for or rule it out in a big process of elimination. But my initial round of labs looked pretty good, at least from what I saw and could figure out on my own.

And, as is always the case it seems, I don't go back for a follow-up with my actual neurologist until mid-September after new labs are done next week. Sigh.

As so many of you know, Patience is Not My Gift. I'm angry and annoyed that I'm so limited. And that now there is so much more burden placed on Rick. Just running the vacuum can put me out of commission for an hour or more. He escorts me on short little walks in case I tire and begin to show signs of scuffing. Spending part of a day with Theo--holding him, playing on the floor, being active with him, a Very Busy toddler--makes me incredibly tired and sore, but that will always, always be worth it. 

In other news, August marks yet another year for Dept. of Nance. I've been writing here for twenty years now! It's astonishing, but even more astonishing is the number of you who have been here for so many of those anniversaries. Thank you, and a special Thank You to my Faithful Commenters, who engage in and encourage such a lively, witty, and intelligent discussion here. You're the best on the Internet, no doubt about it.

I'll write a more celebratory post soon, but I wanted to share this news with you, my friends and virtual support group. Thank you for being here, and thank you for writing over at your places. It's a joy to start my day with you every single morning.

Cheers To Seventeen Years: The Dept. Of Nance Is 17

 

I just realized that the Dept. of Nance is Seventeen this month. It seems impossible, but I've been writing here for Seventeen years. Aside from marriage, motherhood, teaching, and voting Democrat, I'm hard pressed to think of anything else I've devoted myself to with that sort of determined longevity. 

Admittedly, writing here has not received the same sort of fervent attention all along that the other four above have consistently enjoyed. As my students used to say years ago, My Bad.(And that would be eleven years ago, by the way. I retired from teaching high school English in 2011. It's one of the many milestones recorded here at the Dept.)

Isn't that some of the value of writing a weblog--to have a timeline, a record of your life and your perspectives over the years? Sometimes a diary or journal can be too emotional and introspective. Here, under the gaze of intimate strangers, we can tell the stories of our lives without the asides, the footnotes, and the companion text.

Seventeen years have seen a great many changes in my life, and so many have been positive. Some of the positive changes have come from hardships and challenges. Others have come from hard work and perseverance, plain and simple. Still others have been luck--the good fortune of timing. Many have been because I was willing to learn from my mistakes. 

Within those Seventeen years has been some heartbreak as well. Most often, that heartbreak is having to say goodbye to people I have grown to love. Other times, it's letting go of expectations that are no longer possible. Sometimes, it's simpler than all of that. For someone as stubborn as I am, pure acceptance can be difficult.

And, I'm surprised to say that in these Seventeen years, I actually have learned some Patience after all. As so many of my LongTime Readers know, it has never been my gift, but I work hard on it every day. I'm learning to Slow Down--finally!--and that is helpful with finding my Patience. It may not be there for me every time, but I'm finding reserves of it more and more. 

Thank you for being with me here at the Dept. of Nance as I write about the world around me from my perspective. Some of you have been with me for a long, long time. Some of you have have joined me In Progress. I hope you all look forward to what I have to say.

Here's to more years ahead with fewer days (weeks!) in between. Again, thank you all so much for reading here. I value your presence more than you know.

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W Is For Wishes

 My Wishes for you, my Friends, this Christmas of 2021, are that you find the Warmth of family and friends; the Joy of selfless giving; the Love of kindred hearts; and the Hope of brighter days to come. 

As always, thank you for your bright presence here. You are all a light in my life, and I am grateful for your loyal readership. And to my Commenters, especially, I am grateful for your continued conversation. May we always have something to talk about together.

I Wish for you a Peaceful Christmas and a Healthy Holiday Season. 

Best Wishes,

Nance

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O Is For Olio

 Those of you who are Crossword Puzzle People recognize Olio immediately as a word that means a hodgepodge of things; a collection of miscellany; a mixture. It's often an answer in crossword puzzles, right up there with Etui (a needle case).

It's an O word that is saving me for this post because I'm sort of Overwhelmed and Out Of Ideas at present. It has been a vicious couple of weeks, and I'm Over It.

Obviously, the Overarching Situation in the world is worrisome. I've gone from being a News Junkie to a cartoonish News Ostrich, almost burying my head in the Sands of Oblivion. I'm Outraged at the republican taliban's takeover of women's bodies in Texas; I'm on constant simmer waiting for justice for January 6; I'm sick of the bashing about of President Biden, who ended an unwinnable war, airlifted more than 100,000 people out, and took full responsibility. Where were these Erstwhile Patriots when 45* made his deal with taliban leaders and agreed to release 5000 prisoners, one of whom is now the Supreme Leader of the new Afghanistan? 

Never mind. I can't anymore.

Two weeks ago, I got a horrific phone call from Rick at about 7:20 AM telling me, in between gasps and moans of pain, that he had just been hit in a head-on collision on his way to work. His airbag had deployed. Talk about feeling scared and helpless! He was still in the car, unable and afraid to move. I asked if he could move his legs and arms; he could. All I could think of--and I know it was the same for him--was his two spinal fusion surgeries and the rods and pins in his back. Once the police arrived, I told him I would wait for a call to meet him at the hospital.

Fast forward to the Good Stuff--he's Okay! The ER doctor made sure to take scans that allowed him to check for fracturing of the spine and the proper placement of his hardware. Miraculously, no fractures and no displacement. He has a nasty bruise still healing from the shoulder seatbelt and is still very, very sore. 

And very, very frustrated. The driver who hit him--and was cited--totalled our car and did not report the accident to her insurance. Rick did, however, and they tried several times to contact her. They also told us that "until she accepted liability" they couldn't do anything, even with a police report. Then they tried to tell us they were having trouble getting the police report--until we emailed them one. (We could have sent them any number of copies:  lawyers from all over northeast Ohio were sending them to us, offering to consult with us and possibly take our case. You may have had a similar experience.) 

Finally, ten days after the accident, the cited driver accepted liability, and her insurance company asked if we needed a rental car. 

Duh. 

Obtuse much? That would have been a useful suggestion a week ago. We already went and bought a replacement vehicle. Both of us need a vehicle. Even though I'm retired, I don't want to be without a car when I have a 91-year old mother who may need assistance. (And buying a vehicle now is No Fun. Thanks, pandemic.)

So this is Where We Are. Waiting. Trying to decide if we need one of those lawyers or not. 

And Oops--last month, the Dept. of Nance turned Sixteen. Good Heavens. I was in my forties when I started this blog. My sons were sliding out of their teens. I still had two cats, but they were TravisCat and EmilyCat. The Office made its television debut. We lost the giant of American playwrights Arthur Miller and two history-making Black women, Shirley Chisholm and Rosa Parks. We watched in horror as GW Bush ineptly responded to Hurricane Katrina. And, thank goodness for all of us who love to watch funny stuff, DIY stuff, or entertain our cats or dogs when we're away, YouTube went online the same year, too.

I'm Overjoyed that so many of you read me and care what I have to say. Thank you for these past Sixteen Years. I'm up for at least a few more.

Get me through it in Comments.

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November Challenge Complete! Post 30: Why I Blog

Who knew I'd write a post every single day for the whole month of November? Certainly not me. (And please don't expect this again any time soon.) Today's post does mark the end of this Challenge, and the subject is Why I Blog

1. I enjoy having a platform.

2. I like exercising my Writing Muscles.

3. I value and appreciate the relationship I have with my Commenters.

4. I think the blog community is an important one.

5. I feel the platform of the blog has more depth and maturity than social media.

As I said in a previous Challenge post, I started my blog as a way to practice what I preached to my Creative Writing students, that writers write. I've continued it, however, far into retirement because I still find it valuable, interesting, fun, and rewarding. I'm constantly intrigued (and frankly, astonished) by the number of people who choose to read me, both on the site and by email subscription or feed. 

And I'm appreciative, of course.

While social media is more immediate, often self-centered, and brief, I like the thoughtfulness of blog posts. I like the fact that there is some time and effort that goes into writing each one (at least I put that into each one of mine). Platforms like facebook and Twitter are quick hits and fluff. I feel that blogs offer something of more substance. I view mine as my newspaper column of sorts.

Finally, I can't stress enough how much I love the interaction in my Comments section. I care very much what response my writing evokes; it makes every writer happy to know that their words have prompted a response, a memory, an action, or a thought. I feel fortunate to be able to know what those are on this platform, and to be able to engage right back is such a luxury and privilege. I've made some very good Virtual Friends on my site, and I'm grateful.

I'm also grateful for those of you who have read (and commented upon) all or most of these THIRTY posts this month. Your kind loyalty was such an encouragement to me. 

My question to all of you is why do you blog? Or, if you don't currently have a blog, why not?

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November Challenge #17: Why "Dept. Of Nance"?

 I started this blog a little over fifteen years ago as a way to Practice What I Preached. I always told my Creative Writing I and II students that the only way to be a writer was to write. It keeps your voice fresh and your brain primed for inspiration. Writers think differently; they perceive the world differently, just as photographers and painters see their world unlike you and I do. But it's not enough to see the world, they have to record it. Writing completes that connection; it is their way to make sense of their place in it. It is their Art.

Even though I wrote every assignment I gave right along with my students, I also felt I should be writing in my most natural narrative genre, the personal essay. The idea of having a site on the Internet appealed to me in that other people could see and hopefully react to my writing. 

I set out to make my blog a real reflection of my opinions, thoughts, and ideas. It was going to be my voice and my slant on a variety of topics. It wasn't going to be about any one thing. It was merely whatever I decided was under my purview at the time. That's why I chose Dept. of Nance. Whatever I wrote about was in my Department.

In 2007 I wrote a post about what it would be like if the Dept. of Nance ever became a real government department. You can find it here. It makes me laugh. I made a list of things I would immediately do in my First 100 Days, and I must say that I have to strike #5 off that list. I would, however, still like to have the Dept. of Nance become a government entity and help President Biden take care of some business. My Teacher Voice is still pretty commanding, and I don't put up with much.

What's the story behind your blog's name? If you don't have one, what would your blog name be if you did?

The Dept. Of Nance Is Fifteen!

...And they said it wouldn't last.

Actually, no one really said that. Maybe I did a few times, and a few times I almost did quit writing here. But here I am, Fifteen and hanging on.

By the way, I'd never go back to actually being Fifteen. It wasn't terrible, mind you: I was editor of the high school paper, had lots of friends, did well in school, and from what I remember, pretty much enjoyed my life that year. But Memory being what it is--soft and blurry and unreliable--tends to shield us from some Crummy Stuff. Fifteen is hard.

I taught sophomores for the bulk of my 30+ year career, and I know of what I speak. I loved teaching sophomores. They weren't as crazed as freshmen, not as caught up in romance or jobs as juniors, and not as lazy and stressed as seniors. (Yes, seniors are lazy and stressed at the same time. Trust me.)

In honor of my Fifteenth Anniversary here, I'm going to share some of the questions I get most often about my Teaching Career.

1. Do you miss Teaching?

The actual Teaching, yes. I really do. I especially miss sharing the wonderful American Literature poetry, novels, and plays I got to introduce and read along with my sophomores. I loved watching them grab onto the nuances inherent in them, the colour symbolism in The Great Gatsby, the importance of the motifs in The Catcher in the Rye, the huge humanity in the works of Walt Whitman, the subtleties in Arthur Miller's stage directions for The Crucible. I appreciated their dogged determination as they plodded through grammar and the real triumph on their faces when they suddenly grasped the formulas of complex and compound sentences and could identify them in real writing, like President Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. It was The Best.

2. Why don't you substitute teach or volunteer at a school?

First of all, subbing on the high school level in my district (and surrounding districts) is NOT teaching. It's the worst parts of being a Teacher: taking attendance, crowd control, discipline, boring worksheets or idiot lesson plans. It's like the first day over and over again. Volunteering at a school? Same thing. Not Teaching. I don't want to run copies for someone or make endless cutouts for someone or sit and grade papers. All of that is stuff I hated about my job--the Not Teaching Stuff.

3. Do you miss the kids?

Yes, I really do. I miss being around teenagers. My job kept me informed about What Was Cool, What The New Slang Was, and all the current important business in the world of The Youth. I also miss being around people who are just fun a great deal of the time. And who don't talk about problems, health, or politics. They were always refreshing and always interesting. True, they were often too focused on themselves, but once they got out of their own bubbles, they were fascinating to me. I taught in a huge high school with an enrollment of 2000 with a significant minority population and more than 60% of students qualified for free or reduced lunch. Many led lives I could not imagine. Many drove me batshit crazy. Many made me cry with empathy. The majority gave me great joy.

4. Why don't you...?

People are always tossing suggestions at me for other career moves. Why don't I teach at a (fill in the blank) program? Why don't I write a book about my career? Why don't I look into this or that? First of all, perhaps you did not get the Memo. I AM RETIRED. And I love how people act like writing a book is just a simple nothing. It's a lot of work, and in case you have not noticed, I have enough trouble showing up here on a semi-regular basis. I AM RETIRED. Besides, my career was not special in that it would make a wonderful book for anyone but me, and I have the Memories.

5. Do you remember your students?

Oh, yes. I remember a great deal of them. Some I remember by name. Some I remember by face. Some I remember only in a little scene or snippet. Some I remember in a combination of those. Several have become treasured and cherished friends. Still others are friends of my sons, so I see them or hear of them regularly. There are so many that I still think of from time to time. So very many. What is so wonderful is that they come into my life now and then. Most recently, we bought a car, and the saleswoman was my former student. She is still delightful and caring. That made it so much easier; I knew I could trust her. She showed me pictures of her family, and I was happy for her Happiness.

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I told many Teaching stories here at the Dept. of Nance while I was in The Thick Of It.  If you're interested, you can click the tags Classroom, Teaching, or School.

Thank you for reading here at the Dept. Thank you, especially, if you are a Commenter. Life for all of us is a question of Priorities and Demands. That you would take Precious Time to read--and comment!--means that you have prioritized me and my writing and thoughts. That means so very much to me.

I look forward to Sixteen.

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Words For 2020: #3 Write

When I was in college about a hundred years ago (actually, I graduated from undergrad in 1981), my professor in Classroom Methods was like so many back then--hopelessly out of touch. The guy hadn't been in a highschool classroom in decades. He didn't teach us much of anything at all that was of Value. It was a lot of Sixties stuff, like Rap Sessions and Creative Listening and junk that bordered on Being A Mime. He drove us all nuts because we knew it was crazy, this hippie crap, and that if we even attempted it, those teenagers would tear us apart.

Little did I know that school systems everywhere were already wrenching their English programs into the far less demanding-sounding course called Language Arts, and embracing things called Whole Language, Sight Reading, and for the upper grades, Journal Writing. By the time I was in an English classroom teaching five classes of sophomores, Journal Writing was a Thing, and we had to make them do it at least once a week. We had to come up with a topic, give them classroom time, and give them credit. At our department meeting we all griped about the prospect of grading these journals. Merely lugging them around was bad enough, but do the math: the sheer volume of grading was staggering and downright punitive. All of us lamented our college majors; why hadn't we chosen phys ed or art? Or music?

Several veteran teachers shrugged and admitted they didn't read them at all. They marked them with a check and gave a grade for completion. Others said they read only a select few and graded those. Others said they told the students to choose their best three for grading and if they didn't complete all the entries, oh well, they simply had fewer to choose from. A few rebels admitted to me that they refused to give journal work to their kids; they thought it was stupid and a time-waster for everyone involved.

I have to admit--I eventually became one of those rebels. And it didn't take too long, either.

Let me explain why.

I value Writing. I value it highly. Good Writing or Writing with purpose means a great deal to me. No one should disrespect someone's Writing. If a student is going to be asked to Write, then that Writing should be read. At the very least, it should be read and reacted to. The idea of someone sitting there, flipping pages of student Writing, making checkmarks on it, bothered me. That Writing represented that student's thoughts. It's like ignoring that student and saying his time or her thoughts were inconsequential.

(It also bothers me when kids are punished by Writing sentences. All that does is teach kids to hate Writing. Please don't make learning or self-expression a vehicle for punishment.)

Writing is my preferred method of communication almost always. Even though I was a verbal communicator/teacher (and a good one) for thirty years, I still prefer Writing. It gives me time to think, to unwind my thoughts, to pick the best words, to organize my ideas, and to refine everything I want to say.

I don't hate Journals, either. I keep one semi-daily. I Write in it at about the same time, a time set aside specifically for Writing. (And I use a certain kind of pen because I need a gliding pen, not one that blots or scratches.) I pick it up, Write the date, and just start in. It is private, very personal, and in it I can sort out all kinds of thoughts and ideas I want to untangle. I can celebrate in it; I can bitch in it; I can mourn in it. In short, I can be myself in it, unedited. I keep the previous pages of the Journal under a rubber band so that I don't go back and read them, and I never go back to previous Journals, either. Why go back to the Past? If I'm near a dollar store, I grab a few cheap little Journals in there, and that's what I use. Nothing fancy. And, believe it or not, I don't worry about my punctuation as I'm Writing in my Journal. It looks a lot like Emily Dickinson in there with all the dashes. It's very liberating.

Back in January I decided to try harder to Write here more often. That is still my intention. So, for 2020 and beyond, Write is one of my Words.

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Flotsam And Jetsam

What day is it? What year is it? And where in the heck is my Real Life? I've been at such Loose Ends since November that I am starting to feel more than a little surreal. Rick is still home recuperating, so every single day feels like Saturday or Sunday. Toss in the Holidays, and I feel as if it is The Weekend on an Endless Loop around here.

Here's a little of the Flotsam and Jetsam from the past couple weeks. (Has it been a couple weeks since the last post? No idea.)

Ice Cream And Pizza Follow-Up: In a purely selfless gesture in the interest of You, My Dearest Readers, Rick suggested we stop at the ice cream stand on our way home from the lakehouse the other day. He got a vanilla cone and spoke to the proprietor and one of the senior staff. The owner said that there is not much call for ice cream during the winter, and even less for chocolate ice cream in particular. The employee there said that she is the originator of most of the pizza flavours, and that the pickle bacon was adapted from a cookbook she received. They both said it was hugely popular and may be on their standard menu.

I Am A Grownup: For the first time in probably a decade or more, I stayed awake until midnight on New Year's Eve. Usually, Rick and I go to bed at about ten and are awakened by text messages or phone calls from Jared and Sam and my mother, all of whom have no problem at all being awake and celebratory for the holiday. In the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that I was awake purely by accident; we were binge-watching a show on Netflix.

My House Has Turned Against Me: Since he is home, Rick is now puttering around and fixing a bunch of things that have been languishing on his To Do list for a long time. One of them was to fix the shower head and the bathtub faucet. The shower head went swimmingly, but the tub faucet required a part that was on a lifetime warranty, shipped from the manufacturer. Which takes 7-10 days. And renders my shower unusable. So, okay; bath it is. I drew a hot bath, added a few bubbles, and went to get in. Except the water was distinctly brownish. Add "new hot water heater" to the list of things to do. So far, since Rick has been unable to work, we have had to get a new battery for my car, a new printer, furnace repair, and a new hot water heater. And I have been nothing but nice to this place for 34 years!

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This year again I have not made any resolutions. As I always say, I am on a continuous path of self-improvement. I honestly do strive each day to do better than the day before.

I do like the idea of a Good Things Jar that I read on Jean's blog. I'm going to do it informally, though: each time a Good Thing happens, I'll write it down and put it in the Jar rather than do it arbitrarily each day or each week. I like that.

I also like having a Word. But rather than have one Word for the year, I'm going to use a Word for a blogpost each week or so. The word will be something I want to think about, improve, do, or change. I've been a sort of vagrant and uninspired blogger, and I don't like that. I like writing here, but sometimes I just can't get motivated to do it. I want to change that, and I think the Words will help me to do that.

Let's see how it all works out. Here's to a fulfilling 2020; may we all smile more each day of it.

And They Said It Wouldn't Last--The Dept. Of Nance Is Fourteen!

It was with some Wonder and Astonishment that I realized the Dept. of Nance is Fourteen this August 2019. This will be my 795th post here, and I have to admit that I haven't an inkling as to what I'm going to write. After fourteen years of this, I sometimes feel like all the Good Stuff has been taken, you know? I've written about so many things--The Politics, two sets of cats (and their maddening hair), my teaching days, my long-suffering husband Rick, my martini-drinking days, and my two sons who are now men--that I marvel at how I can find anything at all to write about anymore.

This blog was originally started to fend off any feelings of Hypocrisy. I was forever telling my Creative Writing students that writers write, period. They write as a matter of course. I wanted to practice what I preached, so I started this site and began writing, at first every day or every other day. Then I became gentler with myself, allowed myself more leeway. (The Universe, as you all know, makes other plans for us every now and then.) But through it all, I did keep writing here.

Blogging in general hit a peak for a time, and some bloggers got famous, got book deals, and some monetized their blogs--kind of like how YouTube is now, but on a smaller scale. It seemed like everyone was into SEO and Personal Branding and Hits and Niche Blogging and yada yada yada. I simply didn't want to get that worky; I already had my career. And once I retired, I didn't want another one. My blog was supposed to be my pleasure. (And, hopefully, part of someone else's.)

So, I still have an old fashioned blog where I unwind for a bit in the old style way: I write deliberately and at length about something I want to share with others; I hope it sparks some discussion; I respond to your comments directly so that it's a back-and-forth chat that includes everyone. I don't see it changing anytime soon.

Thanks to all of you who join me here. I do sincerely love having you. And, just in case I've left any stones unturned in fourteen years, here are

14 Random Things About Me

1. I like ketchup on macaroni and cheese.
2. I own seven pairs of prescription glasses (and two of prescription sunglasses).
3. I don't wear any jewelry, including my wedding band.
4. My favourite music will always be The Beatles.
5. I might like salsa if it were served warm.
6. Country music irritates the hell out of me.
7. I'm not eating guacamole often enough to suit me.
8. I don't get the allure of Twizzlers. Or Skittles.
9. I buy dog biscuits for other people's dogs.
10. I'm a firm believer in naming pets with people names.
11. Wearing peach or yellow makes my skin look green.
12. I think the acting in most old movies is horrendous.
13. I love taking the dumb quizzes on Buzzfeed.com.
14. If I lived on Pleasant Street and it wasn't pleasant, I'd start a petition drive to rename the street.

Again, thank you for reading. And for commenting. It's been a terrific Fourteen Years. Let's go for more! Share some thoughts and your own Random Things in Comments.

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Today's Special: Nance--A Last Gasp Quickie July Post

Hey, July! You're not going to sneak away before I get one last quickie blogpost out there. But I'm tired and I have a little case of PVC (Post Vacation Crabby), so don't expect Profound Genius. Light, simple, and easy are my guideposts of the day.

As a matter of fact, I'm stealing this idea from Pretty Much Everyone. It's an Age Old Blog Meme.

Today, Nance Is

Wearing: Shorts and a breezy, gauzy tunic bought at H&M about twelve years ago. I keep clothes forever. It still looks great; two women at the grocery store complimented me on it this morning. Naturally, my Bobs shoes and my glasses matched my outfit perfectly. Some things I cannot give up.

Reading: The fact that I am able to answer this is still a source of Such Profound Joy to me! I just finished The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls and am about 50 pages into Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate. Undoubtedly, all of you have already read these, but that's the great thing about books--they wait for you!

Working On: In the knitting realm, I am knitting a pair of boy and girl teddy bear handpuppets. I am also continuing work on a shawl for myself. In the more cerebral realm, I am always at work maintaining my Zen.

Hearing: Unfortunately, the air conditioner, still. While I am terribly grateful for it, I am tired of it. If it is on, it means it is too hot to be outdoors for very long, which makes me resentful. I also hear the absurdly loud clock in my office, the tick-tocking of which is laughably cliche enough to be a sound effect.

Making For Dinner: An enormous salad, to which will be added the strip steak marinating merrily away in its bath of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, fresh garlic, and spices. Rick and I will share the glass and a half of red left in the bottle from the other night while we prep and grill, then open a fresh one with dinner.

Thinking About: How when I was a little girl, I had only a couple of dreams. I wanted to be a teacher and get married and have two children. I did realize my dreams; they both came true. As I got older, my dreams changed, of course. But being a pragmatic person, I didn't really do a lot of Big Dreaming. But I know the little girl I was would be astonished at where she ended up today.

Planning: Very little. It's Summertime.


Share your Today or just Chat about mine with us in Comments.

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The Last Of The Wise Words And Helpfulness From The Dept. Of Nance

This week we toss in a little bit of everything, from Parenting to Getting Stuff Done to Whatever Lies Between. A few of you decided to share meaningful sayings in Comments last week, so our series will end here. Did lives change immeasurably from our exchange? I'm betting No, but I never made the claim that they would. Instead, we had a chance to share What Works For Us in hopes that we'd lend a little glimmer of light along the way of someone else's pathway in Life.

Let's get started, shall we?

Reader Denise Fortney, in an effort to teach her children personal responsibility, used to tell them, "If you're going to be dumb, you'd better be tough." The longer version, she said, was, "If you're dumb enough to do it, you better be tough enough to handle the consequences." I think this applies to Life in general, where personal responsibility seems to be sadly lacking. The twenty-four hour news cycle is full of people making stupid decisions, stupid statements, or performing stupid stunts but not taking ownership of them. Or acting surprised when they are confronted with their actions. Good heavens! There are cameras and recorders everywhere. And would people everywhere learn how to simply say, "I'm sorry" and then shut the hell up? Too many apologies aren't.

Bridget, from The Ravell'd Sleave, finds this traditional saying to be very true: If you want something done, ask a busy person; the other has no time. I really get this. When I was working, I did so much stuff! I look back on it now, and I marvel at the Superwoman that I was. There were days when I fed the boys, took them to the sitter, went to school for an early meeting, taught all day (grading papers and creating exams in between classes), picked them up, did the grocery shopping, went home and put it all away, made dinner, bathed kids, graded more papers, then finally went to bed. These days as a retired person, I fritter away so much time and feel incredibly imposed upon if I have to do anything out of my usual little routine. The day I had to go get my oil change almost killed me. When I'm busy, I feel like I'm in Go Mode--I do a ton of stuff. But when I have only one thing to do, I will put That Thing off until I absolutely have to do it.

NCmountainwoman at Mountain Musings shared this as a favourite, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but if one of us is going to be angry, then it might as well be you.” I have to admit that I'm not too sure about this quote, and that either I need some context or I'm just not understanding it very well. I tried to imagine myself saying it to my husband in a discussion or argument under some circumstances such as me confronting him about his habit of leaving piles of mail all over, or the unfinished basement tile project. But I just can't imagine saying it...to anyone. I'm sure I'm just misunderstanding the saying, and I know all of you will remove my blindspot in Comments.

Finally, I wanted to share with you a very practical piece of advice that made a huge impact on my life, both professionally and personally. It's a small thing, really, but the difference it made has been incredible. First, a little backstory:

I grew up in a family of six in a tiny bungalow. We had one bathroom with only a tub. We had two bedrooms for four kids; we three girls shared an attic room. My father never did a bit of housework, ever. My mother did just enough, but laundry alone (and we had a wringer washer for ages) took forever. As a result, things were clean, but not always tidy. We were crowded, and if each of us left one thing out of place, it looked messy.

As a teacher, I quickly learned that Organization is your Best Friend. I put into place so many failsafe systems for grading, recording grades, filing, and make-up work that my students were awed. They could never claim that I lost a paper, forgot to enter a grade, or never got a make-up assignment. The System Never Failed. Ever. Other teachers got sick of hearing about how they "should ask Mrs. D. about her system."

I heard the advice on some local chat show. No idea who it was or why she was offering it, but as soon as I heard it, I knew it was great advice for me. She said, "Touch something only once and act on it immediately." She went on to explain what she meant, but I only half heard the rest. I already knew what she meant and that it was easy to do. Stop piling mail on the counter to look at later--toss the junk and put the bills in the bill folder NOW. Don't drop your clothes on the chair--hang them up or put them in the hamper NOW. Don't leave the clean crockpot sitting on the counter--put it away NOW. Don't let the clean clothes languish in the clothes basket--Put them away NOW. Don't wait to fill out that form--fill it out and put it in the mail NOW.

I think you get the idea.

That piece of advice is now so ingrained in me that it's involuntary, instinctive--I do things immediately as a matter of course. Even when I absolutely do not feel like it, and it's then when I realize how little time those things actually take. The serenity of having fewer loose ends and an always tidy environment is my reward, and for me, so worth it.

I do hope you've enjoyed this Series of Wonderful Wisdom from our mutual friends here at the Dept. of Nance. And, as usual, we all look forward to your discussion in Comments.

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Free Wisdom And Helpfulness From The Wonderful Readers Of The Department Of Nance: Part One, The Kitchen

Gosh, I do hope you all managed to Live Your Lives without helpful Sentences to assist you and make you Change Powerfully For The Better while I have been off wringing out my skin and trying to keep mushrooms from sprouting in all the rooms in my house. If one of you is somehow In Charge Of Rain in NEO, please do STOP ALL OF IT. AT ONCE.

I am forced to bake something just to keep dampness at bay because it is 65 degrees inside and outside, and I refuse to put on my furnace in June.

But I have decided that THIS WEATHER WILL NOT BREAK ME, so let's get to some of the Helpful Things you all have passed along to assist us in our daily lives. I'm going to spread them out over a couple of posts so that we have the luxury of discussing them.

Here's one from Kathy B., who credits a friend for this saying I really love and plan to use myself. Kathy says she was "fretting over hosting Thanksgiving for a vegan, a dairyfree teen, a cardiac rehab uncle and five little kids who only wanted mac and cheese." First of all, kudos to her for hosting Thanksgiving for anyone besides her immediate family. I cook only for my sons and my husband and the occasional girlfriend who may be in the picture. Thanksgiving dinner is fraught with tradition and fussiness. And an abundance of side dishes. And now poor Kathy has Special Dietary Considerations and Picky Kids. Her friend told her this:

It's nobody's last meal. 

 How great is that? It's a terrific reminder when you're stressed out about cooking for other people; besides, chances are that they're not there for the food anyway.  They are there for the companionship and fun. (And some actual Last Meals aren't all that impressive, either; here's a list.)

Speaking of cooking, here are a few practical tips from Ortizzle, who shared:

*There is no solution for too much salt. Start over.
*Fried food is perfectly cooked when it floats.
*Recipes were meant to be altered.

I like practical kitchen tips, like put sour cream in a plastic bag and cut the corner off to make it easier to apply to tacos; or thaw meat on an aluminum pan because it's faster; or get rid of onion and garlic smells on hands by rubbing them on the stainless steel sink because they're just that, practical. All of us who cook and bake have tweaked recipes--many times due to necessity--and created things we like better than the original. (And if you've ever read the comments section of any recipe, almost no one makes anything as written, ever.)

Whenever I think of advice about cooking, my father instantly comes to mind. I don't know how my mother kept her temper in check and didn't throw something at him every time he walked into the kitchen. He absolutely did not cook, did not help with prep, and never did the dishes. (We kids all chipped in and bought us them their first dishwasher.) My father was, however, a fount of advice whenever in the kitchen while my mother was cooking. Here are his three favourites:

1. That flame is too high.
2. Make sure you washed your hands.
3. Add more of those tomatoes.

Now that I've typed those, I have to laugh. I say those things all the time myself. But they aren't the only things I say, and of course, I do everything in my kitchen. So does Rick, except for much cooking.  I hate cooking without him.  He cleans as I go and does a ton of prep.

If you have some great cooking, kitchen, or entertaining wisdom, do share it in Comments.  Or certainly chime in with comments about what's been shared here.  I'll be back again with more Wisdom From My Readers about all kinds of things.


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In Which I Discuss The Grief Of Television, SADness, Hitting A Dog In The Face, And The News

Listen, I'm kind of showing up here because I'm afraid that if I don't write something--anything--right now, I might never write a single word in this space again. That would be sad, I think, for me, so here I go.

It would have been a good idea, probably, if I had thought a little bit about this ahead of time, but then I would have shrugged it off yet another day, and soon it would be March, and who knows what would happen then?

Perhaps a couple of General Categories Off The Top Of My Head will help Break My Writer's Block.

1. Television: Oh, yes, I am one of the Philistines Who Watch Television. Or tries to. We gave up cable aeons ago, so we suffer through commercial/antenna TV and use streaming services. When a series ends on Netflix, we are bereft and have that terrible period of grief followed by The Terror Of What To Commit To Next. We just finished Broadchurch, which we loved. But, because the lead actor had such a rapid and heavy Scottish accent, we had to be like The Olds and put on captions.  Imagine our shame and dismay.  And do not get me started about how many times I lose both remotes in the folds of my blanket.

2. Seasonal Affective Disorder: My SAD, which is usually on overdrive right about now, is not so bad. I think it's because we're seeing more sunshine than usual; I'm getting outside more often; and Sam got me a Happy Light for Christmas, which I use on cloudy days. I'm also getting better at what my friend Shirley would call Practicing Self Care.

3. My Pathetic Life: Jared went on an Axe-Throwing Date for Valentine's Day. Yeah. You read that right. Apparently, it's a real thing. He sent us pictures of him throwing an axe at a big slice of wood that was painted with a target. He said he "had a blast" and "hit a couple of game winners." I sent a text back that said, "I would do terribly at that. You should see me just try to throw stale bread out the back door for the birds and squirrels." And it's sadly true. Not only do I have zero arm strength, my aim is laughable. Ask Zydrunas, who has been hit in the face by innumerable ricocheting bouncy balls that I have attempted to toss through the doorway, but have instead rocketed squarely against the wall on either side.

4. My Newspaper Is Toying With Me: My Plain Dealer had the following headlines today, which I will place here for you, exactly and without comment: That 1 Guy Makes Music With His 'Magic Pipe' and France OKs Lightsaber Dueling As Sport.

I hope I'm back, but I can't make any promises. February has been kind of a bitch.

Happy Holidays From The Dept. Of Nance

May you be filled with Good Cheer this Holiday Season...
one way or another.

See you in the New Year--
Nance



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A Three Dog Head Kind Of Day

Zydrunas, granddog

We had quite a bit of outdoor work to get done yesterday, the one day that was going to be dry, calm, temperate, and on a weekend. Those days have been so rare this fall that we knew we didn't dare squander it. While Rick cut down and bundled the dried fountain grasses, I raked and used the leaf blower in our backyard, which is completely landscaped and has a little pond. Let me tell you, I found out speedily that I am terrible at using a leaf blower. Add that to an ever-growing list which also includes painting, backing a car in or out, and--oh forget it. Do I really want to enumerate my weaknesses?

It was energizing to be outdoors and not shiver. The sun came out unexpectedly, and I found that I did have the stamina and strength to use my Garden Weasel Garden Claw and put my herb garden to bed properly for the winter. Once again, I used my own fresh parsley, thyme, tarragon, and rosemary from it for my Thanksgiving dinner. Now, it has earned its rest.

That sunshine really put me in a FeelGood Mood, you know? And getting all that Big Work out of the way in a pretty expeditious manner did, too. I decided to make a comfort food dinner, even though I would need to run to the grocery store for a couple of items.

On my way there, a junky blue pickup truck was slowpoking along in the lane ahead of me. I sighed and tried not to feel impatient. Suddenly, a huge dog head appeared from the passenger side window. I smiled and forgave the pickup truck. Nothing brightens me up like a dog head sticking out of a car/truck window. Nothing.

I zipped into my parking spot--furthest from the store; empty in front of me so I can pull through--and zoomed right to the aisle I needed when I heard, "Oh, hey! I thought that was you, Pretty Lady!" One of my favourite employees, Tiffany, wanted to chat me up about how well she was doing in college and how her son was getting along in fourth grade. "I have a B in Stats and a B+ in Biology headed into finals. And Noah is doing awesome right now! No more notes home about his behaviour!" She is another Happiness in my Ordinary Days.

On my way out of the parking lot, I got behind a woman who just could not make her move to get out into traffic. She sat there and sat there--forever, it seemed--until a line of four cars was strung behind her. Plenty of opportunities to pull out came and went. Still we all sat there in our cars, waiting. I thought I would scream. Instead, I played Pink's "What About Us?" at top volume (and ironically).

At a red light shortly thereafter, I was treated to a Double Dog Head in a Chevy. These looked to be twin basenjis or some similar breed, and they each had on a jester's collar.  They bounced around the back seat, trading windows and poking their heads out, sometimes both from the same one.  And I swear that they were smiling. I smiled back. How could I not?

It was a Good Day.

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TECH NOTE, COMMENTS: I began moderating comments in order to allow anonymous ones as a courtesy to non-Google account commenters; however, so far I've only gotten spam. If that remains the case with this post, I'll revert back.

Cleaning Out The Cranial Clutter; Will You Hold The Dustpan, Please?

Time for a little Cleanout of my Cranial Clutter. Let's see what I can sweep out of the old cerebellum.

~*~Anniversary. Somehow, in all the Goings On of August, I completely forgot that the Dept. Of Nance had its 13th Anniversary. It's true; I've been writing here since 2005. I almost cannot believe it myself. Sometimes, I hop into my Wayback Machine (read my archives) and take a look at my life when I was teaching, in my forties, and raising teenagers. And I laugh and laugh at the things I Said I Would Never Do, many of which I am now doing routinely. Oh Life, how you smack us around and teach us to Be Humble!

~*~Eff Word. This week, my hair finally allowed me to go pick out new glasses, which I gladly did. The young woman (probably about twenty-five) who assisted me at the cheapo eyeglasses place was friendly and fun. As we chatted about Being Female and Our Vanity, she dropped two Eff Words, never batting an eye, zipping right past them with nary a concern. Another associate seated within earshot didn't even flinch. I am a Huge Fan of The Eff Word, but there is a Time and a Place, and that? Not It.

~*~Insomnia And Obnoxious Theme Song. I'm currently in the throes of another bout of Insomnia. Sigh. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I watch a few late night episodes of the original Will & Grace show, and I have to tell you, that show's theme song is absolutely the worst. Ugh. Nothing but hard-driven piano that sounds like it is being played by perhaps Herman Munster on crack. It's abusive. Why so awful? Why? I don't know what I feel sorrier for, that poor piano or my ears.

~*~Videotapes. I finally made myself clean out the cabinet housing our now-nonexistent videotape collection. Is it Really A Thing that the Black Diamond Classic Disney videotapes are worth money? And that the Fox Original Star Wars Trilogy Boxed Set is valuable too? Because I have the latter and five of the former. And they are available. Aside from that, I had Sam hook up the old VCR and I watched a few hours of the boys when they were little. My immediate response was to be overwhelmed with so much love--and an odd feeling of sadness. They were So Little. They looked so fragile to me. I hope I Did The Right Things. I know I always wanted to and tried to.

Catch me up in Comments.

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Thinking Hard

Since we last chatted, Not Much has happened or Lots has happened, depending upon your Perspective. Here's a Quickie Rundown:

1. The Nativity Wreck finally disappeared from view about two weeks ago. Finally, NO Xmas decorations sully my neighborhood!
2. I caught a misspelling on The Dr. Phil Show. (A graphic spelled the word provocative as provacative.)
3. The winery party we attended was lovely. We won the drawing, a lovely crate of six select single-vintage reds.
4. Lake season has started, and I caught the first fish.
5. An ongoing gasline project in our neighborhood is noisily disrupting my life and my daily walks; our sidewalks are in ruins.
6. We met new friends at the party in Niagara-on-the-Lake and plan to keep in touch.
7. I have participated in my last garage sale at my brother's lakehouse. Too much work for not enough enjoyment.
8. I completed two more knitting projects, and continue a square a day on my mitred square blanket.
9. Knitting is really my therapy, but it aggravates my neck-shoulder condition. Looks like I have to restart PT.
10. I've been thinking of shutting down the Dept. of Nance.

That last one is the big one. And believe me, I've been thinking awfully hard about it.

My original mission behind this blog was to Practice What I Preached to my Creative Writing students, that writers write. And I wanted to keep my skills limber in order to keep up with them, a truly gifted group year after year. I also wanted to maintain my own strong voice so that I didn't unintentionally adopt any of theirs or anyone I was reading as I taught the American Masters to my literature students. As time went on, I also enjoyed having a platform to discuss issues with my lively and engaging commenters and to bring small cultural ironies into focus in an almost Seinfeldian way. Politics--an important part of my life and one of my main interests--was also a big part of this blog. There was a great deal of energy here during the Bush 43 years and...well, now Politics is beating me up. I work as a political activist every morning--on the phone to Congress, online sending emails, clicking to sign petitions, reading to stay informed--and so much of it is soul-crushing. That is the hardest thing for me right now: if I don't write about Politics here, I feel like a traitor; if I do, I feel overwhelmed.

Honestly, I don't know what the hell to write about at this point. Many of my Original Commenters have drifted away. Maybe I bored them? Maybe they've moved along to other venues, (perhaps facebook!) or simply traded online time for realtime activities, like going to the gym or running 5Ks or any other death-cheating pursuits (can you imagine?). I miss them. I like the back-and-forth with Commenters. Blogging is a Community; responding to comments and having a regular conversation in Comments is what I like the most. I can't imagine not doing it. For me, it works.

I value all of my Commenters, and I respond to them all in Comments. I love it when conversation occurs among them. It's important to me to acknowledge that they bothered to respond to my writing. (Unfortunately, Blogger is wreaking havoc on this platform at present, and is no longer allowing "Open ID" sign-ins. A workaround may be to use Anonymous as your sign-in, then sign your name at the end of Blogger blog comments.)

So, I have some Thinking to do, and I will continue to do it. I have to think about what Purpose this blog has for me, if any, and whether or not it will be A Good Thing In My Life. I've been writing here for thirteen years! It's hard to suddenly say That's It. But if it doesn't provide a positive Purpose, then I have to let it go.

I know I'm not the only blogger who has thought about this. Perhaps some of you can offer some wisdom to help me with this decision as I sort it all out.

And Suddenly, December...

Wishing you Peace and Joy

However and Wherever

You may find them.

The Dept. will be back up and running in January.  Until then, stay warm, stay safe, and take some time for yourself each day to rest, refuel, and read something Smart.  

(image is my own)

Time Flies When You're...Anyway, The Dept. Of Nance Is Twelve!

gifts-of-gratitude.blogspot.com

Guess what? The Dept. of Nance is Twelve! Once again, I almost missed it. Twelve Augusts ago, The Dept. of Nance was born, and Twelve Augusts later, it's still here. Lots of things come in Twelves, like the Days Of Christmas (a truly annoying song, even when sung by the Muppets), the Disciples, the months in a year, the hours on a clock, the signs of the Zodiac, and the steps in the Alcoholics Anonymous Program. And since twelve things make a dozen, some really nice things come in Twelves, too, like roses and eggs and, for some of you, doughnuts (ugh--you all know how I feel about those).

But I don't feel inspired by any of those things. Right now, I feel a little like a Twelve-Year-Old. Sorta in-betweenish. Sorta like I don't fit into a category. Sorta like I Don't Wanna And You Can't Make Me-ish. Kinda like I'm too old for a babysitter, but I would love the company.

BUT DON'T TRY AND BOSS ME.

So rather than some sort of Creative Twelve Post, here are some Random 12 Lists.

12 Foods I Need To Live

1. Butter
2. Olive Oil
3. Tomatoes
4. Potatoes
5. Pasta
6. Coffee
7. Wine
8. Basil
9. Chicken
10.Half + Half
11.Plain Greek Yogurt
12.Honey

12 Things I Alternately Hate And Love

1. Driving
2. Grocery Shopping
3. Knitting
4. The Cats
5. The Internet
6. Smartphones
7. Other People
8. Summer
9. Air Conditioning
10.Potato Chips
11.Mary Worth Comic Strip
12.Writing

12 Shows That I Cannot Believe Are Still On TV

1. The Bachelor
2. The Bachelorette
3. The Real Housewives Of________
4. Family Feud
5. Family Guy
6. Hell's Kitchen
7. Today with Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb
8. Harry
9. General Hospital
10.Days of Our Lives
11.The Young and the Restless
12.The Bold and the Beautiful

12 Cravings I've Had This Week

1. Cake
2. Palmiers
3. Thick-cut French Fries
4. Chinese Food
5. Twist Ice Cream Cone
6. Refried Beans
7. Cheeseburger
8. Bad Mexican Food
9. Frosted Sugar Cooky
10.Peaches
11.Italian Food
12.Root Beer

12 Things People Said To Me Lately

1. Comparison really is the theft of Joy.
2. Why do you care?
3. Thanks for making the effort!
4. Do you know how to work an iPhone?
5. I think our naked rats were my favourite pets of all.
6. We're probably more like our father in that respect.
7. Don't overdo it and wear yourself out today.
8. You're wearing your red glasses today! They're my favourite.
9. Can you recommend a good red wine for me and my girlfriend to try?
10.You eat bread?! That's a huge disappointment to me.
11.I'm trying not to get too excited, but I had a second interview today.
12.And I'm like, how much are we willing to invest in a 12-year old cat?

12 Things I Refuse To Give Up On

1. Reading
2. Cat Hair Mitigation
3. Contact Lenses
4. Knitting
5. My Country
6. The Resistance
7. Learning Patience
8. My Streamlining/Decluttering Mission
9. My Search for the Perfect Sandal
10.My Search for Red Leather Boots
11.My Hair
12.My Campaign Against Rampant Abuse of The Language

12 Things That Always Make Me Happy

1. Bunnies
2. Zydrunas
3. Napoleon Dynamite
4. The (new) Gong Show
5. Slow mornings with cats and coffee and The Plain Dealer
6. St. Patsy's text message emoji parades
7. Wine tastings with Rick
8. Sunset boat rides with our buddies J and J
9. Falling asleep and missing the end of Dateline
10.Listening to Jared and Sam tease each other
11.When Rick asks, "Want me to run a tubby for you?"
12.Fleece blankets

It's been a very satisfying Twelve Years for me here at the Dept. I consider it a privilege to have a two-way Writer's Relationship with many of my Readers, via Comments. That interaction is quite important to me. Thank you, and thank you to all who read me, however you read me. I hope it is a relationship that continues for years to come.

Won't you all add your own stuff to the Lists Of 12 Things, too, in Comments? And make your way to the Celebratory Desserts Table, where there is something sure to appeal to you (and disappoint the same person who I saddened with my Bread Consumption).

www.sprinklebakes.com