Sunday, December 18, 2022

Some Pre-Christmas Stuff From The Dept. (I've Lost My Ability To Be Clever In The Title)

Christmas for me this year was not a Journey, but a Destination. I'm not sure why I'm so Grinchy, but I sort of wish Christmas would hurry up and leave me the hell alone. The shopping is finally done, however, and soon wrapped packages will be under our tree. 

I'm eager to show you a new outdoor decoration that popped up in our neighborhood this year. I have to admit that I'm a bit charmed by it despite my overall disdain for most holiday yard characters. You all know my antipathy for inflatables, except for the one-time appearance of a small and endearing Christmas Eeyore many years ago. I still look for him wistfully (and unrequitedly) every year.  

But I digress.

Here is a photo of the newest Holiday Resident on my walking route:

Noel The Narwhal. I'd lose the scarf, which I think is Too Much, but other than that, how cute? And, as I found out on an evening errand, the horn blinks. I deem it Acceptable.


In other Holiday News, the following conversation occurred Saturday night.

Scene opens in Rick and Nance's living room. Rick is on the recliner; Nance is lying on the couch under her quilt and both cats.

Nance:  What's your plan for tomorrow?

Rick:  I thought we'd get out the bows and wrapping paper and wrap. What do you say?

Nance:  Yo.

Rick:  (chuckling, surprised) Wha-at?

Nance:  Well, you were talking about rapping and rap.

Rick:  That went right past me. You know I don't have your street cred.

Nance:  True. (pause) I didn't choose the thug life, Rick.

Rick: (after a moment of surprised sputtering) It chose you?

Rick's Apple Watch:  Here's what I found on the web!

End scene.

And that about wraps it up. 


Tuesday, December 06, 2022

How The World Cup Is Ruining My Life And Some Other Stuff I Feel Like Chatting About

The world's population is estimated at 8 billion people as of 15 November 2022. Incredibly, of those 8 billion people, approximately 3 billion of them are soccer fans, according to a bunch of people who sit and gather statistics about such things. I don't care. There are exactly zero (0) people (and cats) in my house who give a damn about soccer, yet it is having Undue Influence on my life. 

Allow me to explain.

Each day at 3:00 PM, I look forward to being done with all my Necessaries and sitting down to watch/listen to an hour of Judge Judy while I knit. However, thanks to the World Cup, I have been unable to do this. Their matches are preempting Judy.

I am a creature of habit. I like my rituals and my routines. I do not like soccer. I do like sassy Judge Judy and her soft spot for dogs. And I like rewarding myself for doing tiresome and tedious Domestic Goddessing. 

Example:  Today I ran errands and finished scrubbing woodwork in the kitchen. I even hit my head (like an idiot) on an open cupboard door. After I dragged the garbage and recycling cans to the curb, I wanted to sit down in front of Judge Judy with my knitting, but no! The Endless World Cup is still on. Will it be on forevermore? Truly, does it never end? Is this just my life now? 

An aside:  Another of my 3PM Rewards is a nice cup of decaf coffee and a few Biscoff cookies. I can't remember why I decided to buy my first package of Biscoff, but I'm forever grateful that I did. What a satisfying, wonderful little thing that cookie is. So simple yet complex. And so perfect with coffee. I'm even eschewing the 3PM Biscoff and coffee for now. It feels...wrong.

And why can't the World Cup be shuffled off to a streaming channel? That's what those heartless shits did with The Dog Show on Thanksgiving! Do you know how bereft I was without The Dog Show on Thanksgiving? Oh, sure, they ran it again the next day or whatever, but by then, I already knew who won ( I did not know that dog), plus who watches an event like that after the fact? Come on!

 My head hurts and it's the World Cup's fault. Cheer me up in Comments.


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