This And That, The Goodbye April Version

 

Why? WHY?!

Tomorrow is May 1st, and I am still trying to figure out where in the heck April went. Also, will someone please inform the Weather Deities that it is May and not February. We have had two freeze warnings in the past ten days, and I have 11 basil plants sitting all over my kitchen, waiting to be put in my herb garden. I've already trimmed them down once. It would be great to get them into the ground before I have to do it again, you know? Look at those hideous temperatures and ALL THAT RAIN. Ridiculous and completely unacceptable. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I already put away all my sweaters and toasty clothes. It's just wrong.

Speaking of basil, our friend Butch who owns a local garden center sent over a plastic grocery bag full of basil trimmings from the greenhouse. I wasn't feeling awesome, but I immediately got out my food processor and all the ingredients to make pesto. Thank goodness Rick is amenable to helping, and the tedious job of pulling all the leaves off the basil went quickly. As a result, I have this:

The Goya jars are old; I am still boycotting them.

That, plus a few cubes that I froze, is just a little over a quart of pesto, and it was well worth the effort. A couple of the jars went to Butch today, and I'll likely give one to Jared. THE REST ARE MINE, ALL MINE!

Back when the weather was lovely, I started letting Piper out into the back yard while I was on the patio. He always goes out to the front yard with me each morning when I put out peanuts for the blue jays (and squirrels), and he behaves very nicely. After several minutes of hollering at me from the back door, I let him out for a trial run. Here he is, relaxing among the daffodil fronds, which he nibbles on.

I can't wait to uncover and get the pond and waterfall running;
he'll really enjoy that.

Inspired by Julie, I started thinking about going through my books, which are also double-shelved, one row in front of the other. A Little Free Library several blocks from me has had the same crummy books for years, most of them being old management textbooks and religious stuff. The door recently blew off in a terrible storm we had, and I was going to get Rick to repair it before I cleaned it out and put my donations in. Luckily, someone already replaced the door, and they also got rid of the shitful books in it. I've set aside a few books so far, but I need to do a deep dive. I've got a few cookbooks to put in there, a graphic novel (the original Creepshow by Stephen King), some little kid books, and I'll see what else I can part with. I never even read Creepshow; I bought it because I was a major Stephen King enthusiast until his writing started getting repetitive and his endings kept sucking. It's this one:

photo found on Ebay; mine is in mint condition

Speaking of books, I finally finished Dark Renaissance:  The Dangerous Times and Fatal Genius of Shakespeare's Biggest Rival by Stephen Greenblatt. It was a very deep dive into the life and death of Christopher Marlowe, poet, dramatist, spy, and Shakespeare contemporary. Honestly, it was a bit of a slog, but also fascinating. People during the Renaissance had it tough. Being a Catholic got you tortured and killed; being suspected of being Catholic also got you tortured and killed. Queen Elizabeth I was constantly on guard because Mary, Queen of Scots was a threat to her throne. Liz took care of business, though, and had her executed. Both of them had myriad spies, and Christopher (Kit) Marlowe was just one of many working for Elizabeth.

I have since moved on to John and Paul: A Love Story in Songs, which is a compelling book about Lennon and McCartney, starting with the early days of their partnership, which lasted more than 20 years. I've been a Beatles fan since I was four or five years old, thanks to my older sister, who was obsessed with them and played their music all the time. This tells their story via hit songs in chronological order. It includes some photographs and so much that I never knew about the Beatles from their inception to the dissolution of the band to the death of John and more. I'll finish this one up tonight or tomorrow, but I'll be thinking about it for a long time, especially when I hear any Beatles song.

Speaking of Rock and Roll--actually just Rocks--I ordered those cute little ghostie rocks that were the header image in my last post. I decided to treat myself for my birthday (3 May). They're arriving today, but we're currently at the lake. I can't wait to tuck them around my yard. 

We were at the lake last week for a couple of days, too. I wanted to try and reset my sleep, which has been lousy lately. I got a little better sleep, but I was still awake at about 6:45 AM. It was okay, though, because I saw this gorgeous sunrise right outside the sliding doors of the bedroom:

#NoFilter

Finally--and thanks for sticking with me thus far--I'll be celebrating my birthday with Joy in my heart. One of the reasons is because of my wonderful family. Jared, Sam, Jordan, Theo, and Rick make me happy every day. Another reason is because of you. I am so grateful for this community of ours and how it has led me to so many, many friends. I am fortunate, and I know that. Thank you all. 

In Which I Critique Yard Art And A Manifestation Of Jesus

 

From UncommonGoods.com, and I approve of these.

Is it Spring yet where you are? And how the heck are you? I'm pleased--no, make that ecstatic--to say that we've finally reached the point in NEO that grass has been mowed, and I've picked my own daffodils right from my yard. Some magnolias are blooming, those ubiquitous (and in many states, outlawed) Bradford pear trees are all in full blossom, and so are the redbuds. Tulips also abound (only red and yellow ones; the squirrels have eaten all the rest, including all of mine), and today I saw a big fat bumblebee, what we used to generically call Queen Bees, buzzing loudly around the patio. Yes, my patio furniture is out, and my front porch furniture is not far behind. Bird song begins before daybreak now, and robins and starlings have begun collecting things for their nests. I may let Rick put the last sn*w shovel away next week, tempting both Fate and the Weather Gods.

Easter was at our house, and it was deliciously catered by Jared and Jordan, who made the meal at home and transported it here. Earlier, I had confessed that, while I was happy to have everyone over, I didn't feel much like cooking a big dinner. They immediately offered and I accepted, not feeling nearly as much guilt as I thought I would. I supplied two desserts, both purchased, and I didn't feel guilty about that at all. 

One would think that Easter, being a more sedate holiday, would not inspire a great deal of outdoor decoration beyond maybe some plastic eggs hanging from a bush or tree. Even a door wreath with coloured eggs is not very wise since Easter is not, per se, a season, but rather maybe a week. 

One would be wrong. 

Consider this display that we saw on the main street of a town we pass through on our way to the lakehouse. I made Rick pull over to get the photo because I was so flabbergasted and shocked.

  An inflatable Jesus. AND an inflatable tomb/large stone. I do hope I was the only one of all of you to ever see this. I want so desperately to tell you that this is...oh, I don't know...an isolated incident. A singular novelty item that was, perhaps, specially ordered. Sadly, I cannot. After typing inflatable Jesus into Google, I was overwhelmed with a multitude of Inflatable Jesuses (Jesi?). There was even a 6-foot Inflatable Jesus Waver on offer. I have, in the earlier days of this blog, explored a more modern take on Jesuses/Jesi in film, thinking that I was being perhaps a bit edgy and maybe even wandering into Offensive territory. Ha ha, it is to laugh. That was nothing compared to Jesus Inflatables. I do suppose it's quite a dramatic and inspiring sight, however, to inflate him and watch him...er...resurrect, right there on your own lawn.

That I think inflatables are terrible is not new. I've even said that the deflated ones--during the day! what, do they think we can't see them?--look like huge discarded condoms. I wonder what Sister Marguerite and Father Wanner, my childhood Catholic nemeses, would think of Inflatable Jesus. I'm thinking they couldn't find a pin big enough to Take Care Of Business.

This Easter inflatable, just around the corner from my home, seems subtle and demure by comparison. I quite like it, for an inflatable, and I'm sure you'll be able to see why:

Look how cute that little cow is, so chipper and childlike, holding his Easter egg and wearing his bunny ears! Easter For Cows! I'm in, and I think that Easter Cow is way better than Inflatable Jesus or even a straight up Easter Bunny.

Not that I'm endorsing Yard Inflatables. Come on.

Finally, this sign perplexed me for years, and I am not kidding. As a six-year student of French, I struggled to understand exactly what the point/meaning of it was. I just didn't get it.

 

In French the word tres means very. No Very Pooping? What?! Even if you translate it to Spanish, where tres means three. No Three Pooping? Still doesn't make sense. Finally, earlier this week, I finally got it. It's a play on the word Trespassing! As in, No Trespassing/No Trespooping. It's all one word. After the first flush of triumph wore off, I was irritated. It's just a stupid attempt to be clever, and the kerning is terrible. I hope all kinds of animals poop in their yard. So there! And I don't feel dumb at all. (Did you get it right away? I hope I'm not the only one who was mystified.)

Happy Spring even if it hasn't quite reached you yet. And may your neighbourhoods be blessed with tasteful Yard Art.

Scenes From March

image courtesy Ebay

Long time, no see. March felt like it was several months long and a jumble of stuff. Let's get into it with a post that reflects that.

*I've written here before about my funny grocery store and the oddities it carries in its Closeouts section. Rick and I went grocery shopping, and I came upon a whole shelf of these. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this thing:

Pretty sure he's holding it correctly

*Another familiar theme here at the Dept. is my irritation for people who leave their outdoor Christmas decorations up far too long. Around the block from my home is this particularly egregious example. They finally took everything down a few days ago. In MARCH. 

The house is also only partially sprayed this horrific blue. You can see the spray marks about a quarter of the way across on each side.

I went by there a few days ago, and while all the Christmas crap is gone, the yeti silhouette is still there. I feel so bad for the neighbours on each side, both of whose houses are neat, tidy, and carefully landscaped (also bereft of any tardy seasonal decor or large cryptids). 

*The weather straightened itself out enough for several days in a row, long enough for my neighbour's Lenten Lilies/early daffodils to come out along my driveway. They never venture to that side of their home, so I don't feel guilty at all each year when I cut them and bring them in to brighten my mood.

And I'm going to keep cutting them, too!

Later, there will be garlic to harvest from that side, too, planted ages ago by the previous owner. My own daffodils are starting to bloom now; I couldn't be happier.

*Ever since we had to say goodbye to Marlowe, her brother's personality has undergone a transformation. Piper used to never say much of anything, and now we can't get him to shut up. He's also become demanding about many things, such as requiring ice in his water and a tablespoon full of my half-and-half when I make my coffee. Because of his advanced age (16) and...er...size, he also refuses to jump or climb up to be on my lap; rather, he howls until I pick him up and put him there. So many things meet with his disapproval, and I constantly hear about each and every one of them. This is the evildoer I am speaking of:

Luckily, he is quite affable around Theo, whose toys you see in the background

Did I unwittingly help create this monster? Yes. Yes I did, so please learn from my mistakes and give your pet no special treatment whatsoever else they come to expect it.

*I caught sight of this in a residential yard in my neighbourhood. I had to stop and take a photo. To me, it is the perfect symbol of present times in this country, about which I could easily write a thousand words expressing my dismay, outrage, and profound sadness. Instead, I'll let this say it all:

The stars are merely star-shaped holes. Vote blue!

*Finally, today I watched a very determined mother intent upon protecting her baby. I took a short video and want to share it with you here:

This mother squirrel carried her two kits across the street, one at a time, and no farther than 6 feet away from me. She carried them right past me and up the driveway, and past Rick who was working noisily on the lawnmower. Her final destination was a huge sycamore tree behind our neighbour's home, which has an opening in its trunk. I was able to catch a bit of footage of her second trip. The video is not terrific, but it does have a few dramatic seconds at the end--of the stamped concrete of my patio when I, completely astonished, forgot to shut off my phone. 

Because of her amazing feat, I have vowed to stop shooing squirrels away from my blue jay feeder on the porch. Let them eat peanuts! That squirrel mom is a hero (as are so many Mothers and Women, unsung though they may be). 

Happy Springtime, my friends. It's showing signs now of its green and blooming presence, and we certainly deserve it.