Looky looky what I got!
That's 10--count 'em--10 packages!
Ten packages of Biscoff were sent to me via Amazon. My superfriend Mikey in California sent them to me after reading my post. Unfortunately, my cookies were waylaid. Mikey sent me a text on Friday asking me if I "got the cookies." I was confused. He told me he ordered some Biscoff to be sent to me and that Amazon had confirmed delivery on Monday. I assured him that they never arrived and, had they done so, I would have thanked him immediately.
He was understandably irritated that his surprise was ruined. He contacted Amazon and got his refund. He said he would try again, and I told him it wasn't necessary. I was just so pleased to be in his thoughts, and I truly didn't want him paying those ridiculous prices, either.
Today I was out hanging up a block of seed for the woodpeckers on my front porch. I heard someone say, "There you are." It scared the hell out of me. I turned around to see my neighbor (the rather shitful one) standing there with a box. "I took this box to work thinking it was my books. I opened it and discovered it wasn't. Hey, I guess even they get it wrong once in a while." I took the box and thanked him for bringing it over. "It came about a week ago," he said. I thanked him again (although why, I don't know--my name was clearly on the box, as was my address) and he lumbered on home with nary an apology.
Inside the open box was my case of Biscoff, of course, from Mikey. I took the box in and it reeked of smoke. So did the carton holding the Biscoff. That box had been open a while, marinating in cigarette smoke, probably sitting in his house. Luckily, my Biscoff wrappers did not smell of smoke. I sent Mikey a text immediately informing him of the situation.
"Another batch is being delivered today," he informed me. "They shouldn't stink of cigarette smoke."
And there was! OMG SO MUCH BISCOFF!
That's 20 packages of Biscoff, for those of you scoring at home!
I told Mikey that I love him forever and that he is my Superhero. He also Did Math for me and told me that "it was only $22.48 for ten boxes. So as evil as Amazon is, it's a cheap way to get Biscoff, and proof that Biscoff doesn't need to cost $5 a package."
Listen, I'll take a Superhero who does my math and buys me cookies any day. As a bonus, Mikey FaceTimes me from wonderful locations around the world as he travels. I think he only has 17 countries left, and then he has been to them all. (And I've been to a lot of them with him, in a way.) He's the best.
Biscoff is back on the menu at the Dept. for the forseeable, and I will be judicious and prudent. I don't want to have to break up with them like I did with Cheetos, or feel icky about them like I do with Original Lay's and now Peanut M&Ms. I can't do that to Mikey, Superfriend and Superhero.
That would be a day's worth of cookies for me. Just sayin'. Me and Biscoff have a VERY troubled and obsessive (on my part) relationship. I had to go cold-cookie and never, ever let them through the door. Enjoy yours. I'm sure you will be much more reserved.
ReplyDeleteDee--It's about 10 day's worth of cookies for Rick. I've already told him that the cookies were sent TO ME, and that they are MY COOKIES. If he didn't plow through a package in one television program, I might not have to be so strict.
DeleteIf you lived closer to me, I'd invite you over for coffee and Biscoff. Or we'd go out to coffee and I'd BRING the Biscoff. Alas! It's not to be. I will think of you as I munch in bliss.
Wowzers! That's a whole lotta Biscoffs which I think are ok, but I would not necessarily go out of my way to get them.
ReplyDeleteVera--It really, really is. I could not feel more content. And I didn't have to go anyplace to get these; they came right to me!
DeleteYay Mikey! That's fabulous! Stupid neighbor.
ReplyDeleteJ--Isn't he wonderful? Mikey is good to me always.
DeleteThat neighbor just irritated me to no end. Rick's nickname for him is LardAss, if that's any indication of the guy's overall personality and behaviour.
This is EPIC. I love it. Hooray for Mikey. I'm dying laughing that you got 2 cases instead of 1. So.many.cookies. Nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteI think your smoking shitful neighbor ought to pair up with my control freak, entitled neighbor Mary Ann. Her packages always get delivered here and she'll text me a minute later with the photo that Amazon sent her of them on my porch and ask if her package is here. Well, you just sent me a photo as proof.
Ernie--I agree that there can't be anything wrong with having 20 packages of one's favourite cookies. Mikey is my cookie pusher.
DeleteWhy doesn't Mary Ann just trot her entitled caboose over and get her package herself? I'm sure you'd rather she do that than pester you. Ugh.
I've only ever had these on the plane, but I do like their malty sweetness.... Lucky you with your super stash and caring, world-traveling friend :)!
ReplyDeletemaya--They're so good with coffee. I love them in the afternoon with a cup of decaf. I'm very lucky to have a friend like Mikey.
DeleteWow! That is QUITE the treat. How long do you think these will last?
ReplyDeleteNGS--Rick would eat a package a day (or more) if I didn't police him. I eat three or four with a cup of decaf in the afternoons on some days. I'll say these will last me at least several months. Mmmm!
DeleteWell that is just fabulous! Both the kindness of your friend AND the stash of cookies. WTG Mikey!
ReplyDeleteBug--It truly is. My heart and my pantry are both full.
DeleteYour neighbour needs a courtesy transplant. But, my goodness do you have cookies. I was planning to loan you JG who has taken to making chocolate chip cookies that are mostly chocolate chips held together with a bit of butter, etc. But your friend is obviously one up. There's a poem line zinging around in my brain about 'such a friend'. I will publish this, drooling, and get back to you if it actually is a quote.
ReplyDeleteMary--A courtesy transplant, yes! That would solve any long-running problems we've had with him, both past and present. Perfect.
DeleteJG's cookies sound like my kind of chocolate chip cookies--loaded with the good stuff. You should love them since they sound like more of a candy than a cookie.
There is a hymn that gets the most hits. There is a quote by Yeats as follows: "Think where man's glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." Neither of these seems to hit what is niggling in the foggy portion of my brain.
ReplyDeleteMary--That Yeats quote was used on a tv episode, too, but in a sarcastic and phony way. Was it Seinfeld? Yes, I think so.
DeletePut your brain on Sort and let it click-clack away in the background. You'll have a Eureka moment when you least expect it. At any rate, Mikey is Such A Friend. I treasure him, truly.
What a great friend! And although your neighbor is a creepy idiot, you did end up with twice the cookies, so, that could have worked out worse.
ReplyDeleteccr--That's true. This time, having a shitful neighbor worked out to be a benefit.
DeleteI'm happy to be your hero when it's this easy!
ReplyDeleteI was telling my department chair about this, and she told me that in the beginning of the pandemic, she liked ordering things for friends. One of her friends commented that she wanted more Cheetos, but her husband had just done the once-every-other-week shopping trip, so it would be a while until she could have them.
Two days later, a box of 100 small bags of Cheetos showed up.
Mikey--Heroism isn't measured by Difficulty. It's measured by Thoughtfulness Of Service. You have always thought of me, and in the most delightful and kindest ways.
DeleteGood heavens! All those Cheetos would have put me in the Emergency Room. You know my problem with Cheetos. Your department head probably had such fun ordering that and imagining her friend getting that gift. The two of you are very much alike.
Thank you again, my dear friend. XO
Mike is the sweetest friend! Your neighbor? NOT SO MUCH. A week with your box? What in the actual hell?
ReplyDeleteBB Suz--Mikey is incredibly thoughtful and sweet. The neighbour is (and always has been) a jerk.
Delete