"There are no ordinary lives."
I wish I could remember when I first discovered this quote. It has made such an impression on me that you'd think I would, but I have no idea. All I know is that when I read it or heard it, the quiet gravity of it struck me immediately. The statement is simple but immense. The words convey a sort of silent explosion of clarity.
Too often, we dismiss our lives as small or routine. We think that because we aren't doing things on a big scale, we're inconsequential. We look into our past and don't see the usual trappings of a hero, so we feel that we have a bland personal history. I'm challenging you to look again.
There are no ordinary lives.
When I was in high school, I tutored underserved elementary kids in reading in a church basement. I made all my own materials--a huge portfolio of creative stuff that I later donated to another tutor. I know I made a difference to those kids.
When I was in college, I tutored a Vietnamese boy named Ricky whose parents were boat people. I helped him with English and also helped him try to overcome a stutter.
When I was teaching, I used to take food in for my Creative Writing kids. I said it was to help them be creative, but I knew at least a few of them were food insecure and needed a snack before lunch.
I've set aside countless hours to phone call, text, write letters and postcards, and contact representatives and senators to fight for changes that will ensure a cleaner environment, protect citizens' rights, save precious lands for Native Americans and indigenous species, and codify voting rights, women's rights, and LGBTQ+ rights.
Like you, there are many, many more things I have done, but they are quite personal and don't belong here, in this forum.
I'd love it if you'd think of one or two things that you've done in your life that show you weren't as ordinary as you may have thought.
Oh gosh I love that quote! (But I will confess that any imagae of Ken Burns creeps me out a bit...not sure why, but it does...but I have loved all his series that he produced). I can't think of anything right now (I'm hungry and ready to cook dinner), but I'm sure there is SOMETHING that has made me rise above the ordinary ranks - lol.
ReplyDeleteVera--I have a little Thing for Ken Burns. He is going to be forever cute, like Paul McCartney. He's not handsome, just cute in a sort of boyish way. Like Justin Hayward of the Moody Blues, too. Youngish and cute.
DeleteI just know you'll be back to share your extraordinary moment. I'm looking forward to it.
Thank you for sharing that inspiring quote! I would have to say that something great that I have done is that I raised 5 children (4 boys and 1 girl) who are good, decent, loving, caring human beings.
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to you posting every day of November.
Ellen D--You're welcome. Our children are certainly our legacy. I feel good about mine as well.
DeleteThanks for your encouragement. I hope I keep up! (I did double-post to do so already; my November 1 post is below this one.)
I love the quote too! In the many years I worked at a high school I always had a cabinet where I kept all kind of snacks, Cup of Noodles, and things like that for students who may need something to eat. Eventually I was able to get approval to run a food pantry for students and their families right out of our office. It was much needed in the area where I worked. I've done a lot of community volunteering as well. My three children are my biggest contribution. I somehow did a fine job. They all grew up to be the most kind, loving, caring people who would take the shirt off their backs if someone needed it and not one of them ever gave me any trouble growing up either. What a blessing!
ReplyDeleteMartha--I think your food pantry idea is stellar. What great initiative!
DeleteAs I said to Ellen D, above, I feel our children are our legacy. I'm proud of mine as well.
I love Ken Burns and everything he does, seen him speak in person and he's really engaged with everyone, boyish charm and that voice, smooth as butter.
ReplyDeleteYou've made a difference as all teachers to and you'll never know the full extend.
One of the things I did that made a difference was volunteer as a mentor on a huge website for stroke survivors and their families.
Jean--I also admire Ken Burns so much. I saw him in Gettysburg several years ago, and your description is perfect.
DeleteThank you for recognizing my work as a teacher. As you know, we do so much more than just teach our subject matter.
Your mentoring was a significant benefit, I know. And I know your blog is, too, especially early on for widows navigating the new terrain of loss.
I would like to think I have made even the smallest difference anywhere. Although, I think of this topic a little differently. Obligation. To whom much is given, much is expected. And I have been given so much. So very much. All my life I have tried to give back, mainly by doing things I am good at, or at least competent in. And that quote sentence is driving me bananas because it isn't right and I am too brain fogged to fix it.
ReplyDeleteThere is snow all over my summer porch furniture, out on the screen porch. And a frozen cactus I forgot to rescue.
Mary--I'm thinking of all your work with refugees and immigrant families who are settling in to a new life in Canada.
DeleteI applaud your philosophy of charity and giving back. If more people thought this way, we'd be a better world.
Of course, like you, I have many teaching moments. The one that stands out the most to me was years ago when I gave private English classes to 3 young girls. The two older ones were 9 and 10 years old and had attended a bilingual English-Spanish school in Madrid until their parents could no longer afford the tuition. The parents were afraid of their girls losing that good start on their English and I was tasked with finding a way to provide conversation outside the realm of a textbook which I was accustomed to using.
ReplyDeleteI decided that ‘project learning’ was the way to go. We made a book of puzzles and stories in English. We put on a family Christmas play. They came to my apartment on Saturdays to make chocolate chip cookies and other fun ‘American’ treats. In later years, I taught them to use a sewing machine and they were thrilled after each one learned to make a simple summer dress. When I got into black & white photography, they took photos and came back to my little studio apartment to develop the film and make their own prints.
About a year ago I decided to search for them on Facebook. I know you abhor FB, but for me it is a lifeline to a previous life and has helped me reconnect in a way I could not otherwise do. To my surprise, I located one of the sisters and she was overjoyed to hear from me. What really surprised me when we began reminiscing about ‘the olden days’ was how she and her sisters remembered me: “You found so many fun ways to practice our English, but even more, you were such a role model for us back then: a strong, independent woman who inspired each of us by example to explore our own potential as women. Of all the teachers we had growing up, no one even came close to setting the example that you did. You were our hero and our inspiration.” I wiped a little tear from my eye when I read that. So, yes, sometimes we make an impact without even realizing it, and yes, sometimes we are not as ordinary as we think. One of ‘my girls’ is a lawyer working for women’s rights, another works with the UN helping refugees, and the other is a graphic arts designer.
Ortizzle--And you thought you were just finding fun and creative ways to teach ESL.
DeleteThis is such an awesome story. And I love the fact that you were inspiring by doing seemingly ordinary things. But as your former student said, you showed them that women lived independently, made a good life, and a full life as a professional. And you showed them the value of relationships, loyalty, and trust.
I'm glad you were able to reconnect and find out how they were doing. They've gone on to great things.
In college I taught English to underprivileged ghetto kids. They came from difficult lives, but you know what? They were eager to learn how to speak and write in a way that'd get them jobs. They weren't lazy, just didn't have the resources to do better like you or I did. They never gave me a lick of trouble, and showed me that stereotypes are hogwash.
ReplyDeleteAlly Bean--It's often nearly impossible for us to know what our students' lives are like, so different are they from our own. And, as you said, their pool of resources, both tangible and intangible, are really scarce compared to what we know/knew. As a teacher, flexibility and letting go of preconceived perceptions and even plans are valuable skills.
DeleteI know you got a great sense of reward and satisfaction from your time in that program. And I'm sure your students did as well.
Nance, that might be the most powerful quote ever.
ReplyDeleteNone of us are ordinary; we're so unique in how we live our lives and how we give to others.
I'm so proud of the time I've spent doing for others; starting with being a Girl Scout leader for many years. I know I served as a mentor/friend to many young girls who had very challenging home lives. I run into some of them now, all young women/mothers and they always remember something we did together that to me, was perhaps not so interesting or important. *sigh* You never know when you are leaving a lasting memory.
Of course, raising two smart, funny and kind young women might be my best accomplishment though.
I've loved my time serving with the Tim Tebow Foundation for Night to Shine with people with disabilities; sadly, I don't think that event will take place this year.
BB Suz--It is a powerful quote, isn't it?
DeleteMentoring young women is a sacred trust. And, as you said, the biggest reason is because you never do know when you are making a lasting impact. I'm often surprised, too, at the things former students remember.
It is sad that some important work is taking a hit due to COVID-19. I'm hoping that Charities and Foundations like the one you mentioned for people with disabilities will find a way to adapt and move forward.
I love the idea that no one is ordinary. I think that all that you teachers are doing/have done is amazing work (especially because that is NOT my gift so it is imbued with some kind of magic to me).
ReplyDeleteI'm having trouble coming up with anything that I've done that seems special. In the olden days I would have talked about going to Zambia as a short-term missionary, but now all I can think about is colonialization. Ha! I suppose the one thing that I am most proud of is my left leaning liberal snowflake ways - and that I will share my views far and wide (if not as articulately as you). Last night I had trouble sleeping and I kept thinking about the potential consequences of a second T term & what that would mean to my married gay friends, and BIPOC. And then I thought that that ship has already sailed with the Supreme Court composition now. Now I'm depressed. What was the question again?
Bug--There's nothing ordinary about spending time living in Zambia. I've never been there even as a tourist.
DeleteThank you for your appreciation of teachers. It means a great deal to be acknowledged. I hope you let your own teachers and present-day teachers in the trenches know how you feel. It would make their day!
The quote isn't so much about doing something special. It's about how you've answered Life's Call. Most people think they've done very little in their lives, just wake, work, eat, and repeat. We forget that we do much more than that.
Golly. I guess my most extraordinary feat is raising two children that are both aspiring doctors. As for me, personally, I am a heart attack survivor and I tally the years I've been given. Not much, but it's all I can think of right now. Does married to one man for nearly 53 years count?
ReplyDeleteHootin' Anni--Congratulations on being a survivor. Heart attacks are scary business. We're all glad you made it.
DeleteMy BFF included the following quote in a card for me once. I keep it on my desk.
ReplyDelete“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”
I keep it on my desk.
What have I done...hmmmm....well, I fought like a mama bear to keep my daughter alive when she had anorexia. I likened it to fighting a demon inside of her, trying to kill my child. The hardest thing I have ever done, even worse than watching my mom die, which was, of course, horrific.
I climbed to the top of El Capitan in Yosemite, though I did NOT climb the face, I went with some friends up the much easier path along the back and side.
J--Your life is the definition of NOT ORDINARY. Your whole childhood fascinates me, as does the story of finding your father.
DeleteBless you for pulling your dear daughter through that episode. How scary. How terrible for all of you!
And I can only imagine how much you enjoyed Yosemite. What a terrific adventure!
I love that quote from your BFF. I'd keep it, too.
I didn’t mean to say “I keep it on my desk” twice. I blame it on the comment issue with your sidebar loading. Now that I know the trick, it’s like magic. Like so much of 2020, the lesson is to be patient.
ReplyDeletePerfect quote!
ReplyDeleteA couple of years ago, I was walking down the street, and saw a couple with an elderly chihuahua. Because I must at least speak to all dogs, I said, "Is it OK to pet your little sweetie?" and the woman responded with tears in her eyes, "Yes, this is her last walk, so any extra love is good." Well I started to cry, pet and kissed the dog, hugged the woman and told her that someday the memories would just cause smiles, and walked away. Of course I was shattered the rest of the day.
Two days later, on the local news, there was a story where they interviewed this woman who talked about a lady who kissed her dog and then kissed her and said it would be OK some day and how she wished she could tell that woman how much that meant to her. It was the lady I'd hugged, and though I cried again all day, I was so happy it meant something to her and not just to me.
Bridget--Oh, Bridget! This is such an extraordinary story in so many ways! Thank you for sharing it here.
DeleteI firmly believe that Kindness is its own reward, but in this case your Kindness has been shared, as well it should have been. I hope it inspired others.
I remember you sharing this quote in the past--either here or with me personally. In my mind, it goes along with the thought that everyone has a book in them, their story to tell. I know it's true for most people, if not all. ror
ReplyDeleteI saw Ken Burns on 60 Minutes last week and gained a new appreciation of him and his work.
I would probably let others tell my extraordinary life story. I have gotten many emails or comments on my gfe website over the years that have both moved me to tears and kept me going. One does not always know the impact of one's work so hearing incredible feedback on occasion is humbling to say the least.
Shirley--Your gfe website has been a huge resource for so many people. I know I've directed dozens of people with celiac disease or gluten intolerance there myself. Many, many of them have later thanked me for doing so.
DeleteYou've made your life a mission for others, and that's a pretty darn big deal.
I have no idea where that "ror" came from. Late-night typing and not carefully proofreading is not a good thing!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your heartfelt words on my site and for recommending it to folks and telling me that you have heard positive feedback from folks who used it. It truly means so much.