Before I get to today's November Challenge Topic, allow me to address the Commenting Challenge Topic: Disappearing Comments. Some of you have experienced your comments flashing away suddenly as you are typing them. This is happening because of the slow loading of my sidebar elements. If you wait until my page completely loads and then begin typing your comment, everything will be fine. I have no idea why the sidebar is so poky; I've stripped away all that I can. Thanks for your patience. You all know how I value your Comments.
Now, on to the subject at hand.
I know I've discussed my Fears before, so I won't belabour them by going into big long explanations. As I've aged, some have become more prevalent and others have receded. I do try not to dwell on any of them, really. Life, as they say, is too short. Here, then, in no particular order, are
My Fears
1. Getting Alzheimer's Disease/Dementia
2. Becoming Poor
3. Falling Down Steps
4. Snakes
5. Rick Dying Before Me
With regard to #5, I am Rick's Care Manager, and I take extremely good care of him. He has even given up doughnuts for me, and I cook with very little salt for him (out of deference to his high blood pressure). He has sworn a solemn oath to outlive me, and I hold him to it. I also remind him every now and then so he doesn't forget and become tempted to take any chances or eat Krispy Kremes. I feel it's the least he can do since I've told him he can remarry or take up with trollops after I die.
Your turn. What are your fears? Do we share any?
1)I am afraid of falling also. Because of my osteoporosis, I fear that I am one fall away from a broken bone. 2)I don't want to run out of money either. 3)I am divorced so I don't have to worry about a spouse dying early but I wouldn't want to see any of my kids die before me.
ReplyDeleteBad topic for today, Nance, while we are all in fear for the USA! :)
Ellen D--I'm sorry, dearie. It just happens to be the next topic on the challenge list. I know we're all on tenterhooks about the election. XO
DeleteI had a terrible fall almost exactly one year ago. I broke two teeth, sprained both wrists and elbows, and cut up my face. I found out a couple months ago that I did some nerve damage to my face as well. I'm very concerned with falling in general, but I've always had a deep-seated fear of falling down the stairs. I used to see myself crumpled at the bottom of every set of steps before I went down them. I'm past that, but still have the weird fear.
I fear Ted or Maya dying before me. I fear horrible things happening to those I love. I fear heights. The idea of falling is bad, I've had a couple of falls in the last few years that really hurt. Too many things to fear, I guess, like COVID and Trump destroying our society. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteJ--I worry about the last two things, but I don't fear them. Is that a fine distinction? I don't know. How did you climb El Capitan if you have a fear of heights? I'm even more impressed!
DeleteOh, interesting distinction. I’m not sure what I fear then. Ferris wheels? My fear of heights seems to have come on as I’ve gotten older. And even now I’m not terrified of them.
DeleteDee--That's terrific. I don't actively perseverate about my fears, but they are definitely there.
ReplyDeleteI have no problem with leaving comments here/or disappearing. I think it's the browser. Anyway, I fear snakes and water above my head! Other than those two, I'm pretty well set.
ReplyDeleteAnni--Glad you're not experiencing the issue. I am, using Chrome, but not all the time. Who knows?
DeleteI can't swim, so I don't like water above my shoulders. And snakes in the water--AACCK! Glad you are pretty fearless, overall.
He can take up with trollops cracked me up. It's the other way around here. My husband made me promise I wouldn't die before him! I'm afraid of wasps, large spiders, and any large insects really. I can't even think because I have total election brain today, but I think one of my biggest fears is becoming dependent on my children in my old age.
ReplyDeleteMartha--The trollops allowance is an easy one to make because I know he would never do it. He's not that kind of guy.
DeleteI'd prefer Rick kill all the bugs, but having the lakehouse has forced me to be far more brave and tolerant on that front. Spiders and bugs are a part of the deal there. You take the good with the bad.
I share your concern about becoming a burden on my kids. No way do I ever want that. NO. WAY.
My mother has dementia, so that is my greatest fear, to become like her.
ReplyDeleteDithBofF--Same. It scares the hell out of me.
DeleteNice to see you here again. I hope you've been safe and well.
Thank you! I look forward to your posts. I retired this summer after 31 years of teaching. Pandemic teaching was not. for. me. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my time now since being a teacher is so all consuming.
DeleteI think a lot of us fear dementia - losing control of your mind and your ability to not only look after yourself but have a say in how you are looked after.
ReplyDeleteI fear irrational anger, in myself to some extent and in others to an even greater extent. Again, it seems to me to come down to a loss of control.
And speaking of control. Is there no one who can shut President Trump up until this thing plays out. It really frightens me, the things he is saying and what it could incite.
Um, I kind of like snakes. Sorry.
I do not fear falling, but my mother did and it was quite debilitating for her. She dreamed of being in an elevator and having the elevator fall, also. My dad and I used to walk one on each side of her if the going was at all treacherous, just to give her some security. My hiking daughter recommends two walking poles. And, Nance, I too fell flat on my face last summer. I was luckier than you in that I did no permanent damage, except to my pride.
Mary--I think you've brought up another excellent point in the fear of Alzheimer's/dementia, and that is loss of control as to how you are cared for. The horror of the American nursing home industry is quite real, and although there are some good ones, you can never be entirely certain that the care is kind, attentive, and consistent.
DeleteAs to the current resident of the White House, he himself was recently quoted as saying, "I whine until I get what I want." His strategy has always been to bluster and cause chaos until everyone gets exhausted and gives in to him. This time, that won't work. Unfortunately, there will be the collateral damage of unrest, but in the end, he will have to go. And the many lawsuits that are pending will then activate, and he will eventually end up in jail or flee to a place with no extradition, I'm sure. Maybe one of his buddies will take him in over in North Korea or Russia or Turkey.
Trump seems to me to be permanently stuck in the 'Terrible Twos'. On the other hand, our Prime Minister is a stuck teenager. It seems to me that we used to have grownups running our countries. I am not sure why this has changed. Worth thought.
DeleteI like the thought of Trump having to run for it. The sooner the better, but a lot of lawyers are going to get rich in the interim.
I came too late to the realization that a seven year age difference lended itself to my husband dying before me though I tried to help him with some diet issues, so glad you and Rick have all that under control. I'm not too keen on rats or mice, spiders and their webs only outside but black widows as we had on our patio in Arizona are quite alarming to me. Heights have always been a major issue as I recall readily climbing a fire tower but when it was time to come down I had to scoot on my tush one open-backed step at a time and not look down. Strange I didn't mind small plane flying though when an open cockpit two-seater banked that was enough to elicit the first scream I ever recall emitting. Probably there are other things I should have been afraid of but wasn't, figuring I could protect myself or run fast enough. Now, I fear I would do a poor job of the former and the other I would move at a snails pace as aging has made me realize.
ReplyDeleteJoared--I am not a fan of spider webs, but I'm not afraid of them. And I also am leery of open-backed staircases. I just know I'll catch my foot and slip through somehow. It seems silly, but I also have a poor sense of spatial perception, so whether or not that hole is big enough, I can't really tell.
DeleteAnd you flew in an open two-seater? Good for you! Sounds like an adventure.
Same with you on the first three. Am not a fan of, but can tolerate to a degree, snakes. Haven't thought about your fifth point, but now I will, of course.
ReplyDeleteAlly Bean--Oh, so sorry about that! I did NOT mean to add to your fears. :(
DeleteRaises hands frantically to #1!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'll forget something simple and then I get all panicky wondering if THIS IS IT-My memory is GOING!
I fear pancreatic cancer. My father died from it at 52 within just 11 days after diagnosis. Whenever I feel tired (his symptom) or sore legs (his other symptom) I just know this is it for me too.
So, one of my other fears is dying suddenly (youngish) and leaving my husband alone. Of course, he could remarry, but could he ever find someone as good as me? Hell no.
I fear that someone will hurt my children.
I have a terrible fear regarding large spiders. Ughhhh.
BBSuz--I constantly worry about my memory issues. I once asked my neurologist if my migraines have eaten part of my brain. Stress really harms your memory, too. So I had that going for me, too. Sigh.
DeleteI'm so sorry for you losing your father that way. How terrible! I imagine it must be difficult living with the shadow of that medical history. I'm sure you've researched it, and sometimes that is a mixed blessing.
I think having daughters is scarier than having sons. Let's face it; women have lives fraught with more peril overall.
I'm afraid of dying BEFORE Mike - he would NOT handle it well & therefore it would just be two deaths probably. I'm not excited about him dying first (especially if his father is still alive since Mike is his primary caregiver & I guess I would inherit that job), but I know I could handle it better than the other way around. And then *I* could take up with harlots!
ReplyDeleteI'm not really afraid of HAVING dementia/Alzheimer's Disease, but I am afraid of having to be the caregiver of someone with it. What exhausting & thankless work! I'm probably doubly afraid because I never had children & have therefore never been in a caregiver role before. Even the times that Mike really needed care (after surgery, for example), he simply would not let me provide it. I know I would figure it out, but it makes me really anxious and afraid to think about going through that.
I'm also afraid of not having health care and/or enough money to live on. I know that I won't be able to retire, so I worry about how long I can continue to work - will my health/mind last long enough? And what will I do when I have to stop? I've got 401k and retirement with my City job, but I don't think it will be enough...
I'm not really afraid of falling anymore, but after my two hip surgeries I was VERY afraid for a long time. I probably SHOULD be afraid because I am a klutz.
This will make you laugh. And also make you never in a million years want to visit me. We had evidence of mice last year (they had created a little nest in one of our kitchen drawers where we keep older towels, etc.). We never saw any evidence of them anywhere else in the house. Put out some poison, didn't see them again. Then the same thing happened this year, same drawer, same poison... And then the other night I was obsessively working a jigsaw puzzle on my iPad late at night & saw a brown furry thing run through the living room into my bedroom. I have no idea where it went, and it was so late at night that I couldn't care. Mike & I were going to look the next day. THREE DAYS LATER we said to each other, oh I guess we forgot about the mouse. So I say all that to say this: I am apparently not afraid of mice. It was cute.
P.S. THAT was a novel! Sheesh!
DeleteBug--Oh, we've had mice and once, as I wrote here before, river rats. Once, we had a flea infestation from some firewood. Ugh. As far as your mouse nest in the same drawer, check underneath where that drawer is, and I bet you have an opening someplace where they're getting in. Get some spray foam stuff and plug that up. I think they're cute, but they carry nasty disease, as you know.
DeleteI get what you mean about caregiving. It really is a huge and taxing job. And there's such a massive emotional burden as well.
My fears are all things that are just stupid. But "taking up with trollops" is my new favorite phrase!
ReplyDeleteBridget--I don't think any fears are really stupid; your feelings are your feelings.
DeleteBut feel free to use "taking up with trollops" anytime, and no need to give me any credit. :)
Since losing Smokey, I fear leaving Bo too early. He needs me for a good number of years more. Losing one parent is enough.
ReplyDeleteFalling is also one of my fears. I don't think my balance is what it used to be as I stopped doing yoga because of an eye issue (inversion were out for sure). I've had many close calls over the years. Yoga gave me flexibility that had me come out on top but now that there's no yoga going on, I do worry.
My mom dying of COVID. She just confessed to me that she's been having one of her sisters visit inside and that sister is still interacting with all her family members. Family members who are still working outside the home.
A recurrence of my house issues. The deluge of rain has brought new property issues in general but I also worry about the house itself.
I also fear having to go to an assisted living center or some type of senior care and having no control over my food. Elderly readers often report that they cannot get gluten-free food at such facilities. That is terrifying.
COVID in general. We have done so much to keep ourselves safe but the current numbers are mind bogglingly bad.
Shirley--Ohio's numbers for COVID are out of control right now. I share your fears there. Sam, Jared, Rick...all of them are out there working. Rick is in and out of buildings all day. Sam works with the public. Jared's SO is in healthcare. Sam's is in retail. It's scary.
DeleteI completely understand your concern for your house after what you've been through and all the expense. It's such a loss of control issue: what can you really do? you can't stop the weather! And our homes are so much of our lives, our identities, our memories, and our investments.
I know you are doing all that you can to keep yourself safe, well, and healthy in your diet plan. I know you are really doing all that you can do. And you know it too.
Yes, you're right of course. On everything. Thank you!
DeleteSending all good vibes for all of you to stay safe. The numbers are indeed out of control in your state and many others. Our county is seeing a bit of a spike, which only reaffirms my near-term plan.