Sunday, August 23, 2009

Is Anybody Out There? Anybody At All?

Let me just say one thing right off the bat: I am operating under a whole new Priority System here. Priority One--remain vertical. Priority Two--maintain coherence. Priority Three--remember how it used to be and use that for incentive.

I can no longer count higher than three, nor can I remember anything more complex than three things at a time.

It was...exhausting last week. Trying to teach in 90+ degree heat was taxing enough, but add the noise of heavy construction vehicles about thirty feet away; the fatal shootings of two students in the neighborhood after hours; constantly changing class rosters (which means that no gradebook or attendance can be accurately kept yet); schoolwide picture day (students are walked down to be photographed from English classes, of course); a fire drill; heightened alert because of widespread text messaging that there would be retaliatory shootings at the school; and we are running at over 2200 students with more adding every day.
Friday could not come soon enough. Today was the first day I could scrape myself into some sort of coalesced blob capable of cogent thought and return to this space to explain myself.


Having said all of that, let's not talk about it anymore. I'm all fired up about other stuff, and before I can't sit up straight any longer, I want to share.

But first, Thank You, Brian Williams, for taking a nice vacation this past week. Your timing is impeccable. There is no possible way I could have even focused on your tie, let alone verbally embroidered a Tie Report a single solitary day. Naturally, this made a severely negative impact upon my Sitemeter, but honestly, big effing deal. It's not like the Jay Leno Show ever called me back or that each hit means ten thousand dollars. Feh.

A bigger hero in my life right now is Barney Frank. If the Dept. Of Nance was a television show, I would be all over myself booking him as my sole guest. Period. Forever. Right now, I am declaring him as my Smackdown The Stupid Mascot. Please tell me that you saw this wonderful performance by Congressman Frank of Massachussetts, in which he did what every single intelligent human being should do when confronted by these moronic shills for the Party of No when they start obfuscating the issue of healthcare reform with their baseless scare tactics. Why even begin to talk to these people? As far as I'm concerned, no more "Town Halls." It's clear that the Lunatic Limbaughean Fringe have co-opted these once vibrant and legitimate venues for sane discourse and turned them into the equivalent of a coffee klatch for kooks and crazy-peddlers. Self-respecting public servants, republican and Democratic alike, should simply say, "That's it. I am no longer disrespecting my office and my true constituency by appearing at these media feeding frenzies. My people know how to reach me to air their concerns. I anxiously await their feedback regarding healthcare via letter, phonecall, or comments via my website. I am eager to serve them, as I was elected to do, without media interference in this important debate." What a lot of bullshit.

And while I'm at it, I have a little message for President Obama, and this it is: BE THE LEADER. This sort of laid-back, make-nice, No Drama Obama is exactly what I was afraid of. You don't take a bigass thing like Health Care Reform and a nest of Pit Vipers like the sore loser republicans and say, "Okay, everybody, take a whack at this and see what you come up with and get back to me later. I'll see what I think and take it from there." Are you kidding me? THE REPUBLICANS WANT YOU TO FAIL SO THAT THEY CAN TAKE BACK A MAJORITY IN THE MIDTERMS. They don't care what you fail at, as long as it's something big. They don't care if it fucks up the entire country, either. They already did that, remember? Do you see them caring? Dear Barack--Come back from vacation early and smack some people around. Call in the Blue Dogs and remind them who is the President. And you'd better call in Howard Dean and have a conversation that matters. It's way past time for Big Talking with Big People. --Signed, Me, One of Those Who Had the Audacity to Hope for Change. Now bring it!

Another reason I thought I was in Hell this week--Two people who are still in the news and I still don't understand why: the hapless woman with eleventy billion children, the Octomother and the revered singer who died two months ago, MJ. (Can you tell I'm trying not to actually mention their names and add to their google hits?) How slow is the news, really, that these individuals are still part of it?

And, finally, come on--Brett Favre. Again. This "I'm retired--just kidding" bullshit is getting old. I hated it with Magic Johnson and, as a Cleveland Cavaliers fan, you know I hated it with Michael Jordan. Add to that the fact that fans and sportscasters alike act as if Favre is, well, a deity in a facemask just makes me sick. So, for those of you who need a reminder one more time, here. And, just so you know: once I retire, I will stay retired!

My vow to you.


  1. I'm here. :)

    I'm even tired of Brett Favre's antics, and the ONLY thing I know about him is that he keeps retiring and un-retiring from sport or another.

    Barney Frank is indeed awesome. I was thrilled when he got fed up.

    I'm a bit fed up with Obama, but I'm trying to not give up hope *yet*. But I'm not die hard enough to think that he has some great plan that he's trying to ease us into. I heard a quote (which I am going to paraphrase here) from FDR or LBJ or one of those guys, and he basically said, if you want big change to happen, you need to *MAKE* me do it. Which kind of bugged me, but the person talking went on to explain that what he meant was that big change requires a huge majority of support from the public, in order to force congress to comply. So people need to get MORE involved than just voting for Obama and hoping for the best.

    Damn, it always seems like that, doesn't it? I'm lazy enough to want that to be enough. Vote for the people I like, and trust that they'll be able to get the rest done without my help.

    Your week sounds HORRID. Here's hoping it's the worst one of the entire year, and that all those weeks to come are much easier, quieter, cooler, and less dangerous.

  2. Favre should sign with the Detroit Lions. That would cure him of un-retiring.

  3. Nancy, have I told you yet that I really, really like you? I hope your school year gets better than the start it got off to (to which it got off to?)! Hang in there!

  4. I'm out here. Barely.

  5. A few thoughts:
    1. I love Barney Frank. He used to live around the corner from us on Capitol Hill. He still lives there; we moved to the suburbs. The 2 are not related.
    2. I watched BW tonite. He got a vacation haircut! Do you comment on his hair, or just on his ties?
    3. Rush Limbaugh is a bloviated idiot. Someone should shoot him. Or give him some of those Michael Jackson drugs so he can take a good long nap. Perhaps a dirt nap?
    4. Michael Jackson is still dead. This is getting like the Generalissmo Franco jokes on SNL in the 70s. He's dead. Get over it, people!
    5. I have one more week of "freedom" before reporting to duty. I am strangely lookin forward to my school year. Strange, I know...

  6. Oops! Forgot Brett Favre. Oh, well, maybe thats a good thing?

  7. I'm also here, but barely. Tough week at the Funny Farm, but not a school situation. (Our favoritest, most beloved horse in the world had to be put down yesterday.)

    When I'm in charge, there will be selective euthanasia: Rush Limbaugh and others of his ilk, religious zealots (Taliban first), gang members, Amy Winehouse, and Octo-idiot. I have no patience for any of their crap. And to Brett Favre: you're embarrassing yourself. Stay retired.

    As for your tie hiatus, I just assumed you told BriWi that you were unavailable, so he left town until you could get back on track. Glad to hear that you're out from under.

  8. Life--Sorry about your horse, dear. That's so difficult. Now, as far as your "Death Panel"--if we're working on no patience, that's a very short list! I'm impressed because believe me, my list would go on and on and on and on. (And regarding BriWi? Trust me, the day he coordinates ANYTHING with me...well, let's just say that's not likely!)

    Melissa B.--"the two are not related." LOL LOL LOL. oh my. that one is priceless. thank you. i needed a smart laugh today! (Oh, and only the ties. I have to stop somewhere. hee hee.)

    apathy lounge--oh, my beleaguered colleague. i'm impressed you're even commenting! bless your little heart.

    RD--Well, aren't you moving up and onto my Sweetie List!? Thank you. And don't worry about that almost-archaic rule about trying not to end your sentences with prepositions. We try to be semi-formal here in Brainstorms at the Dept.

    Nancy in A2--Oh, if only! Or the Hapless Browns...?!

    j.@jj--what a horrible quote that is! in my view, if you are elected to be a leader, then goddamit, LEAD! i did not elect you to ask me what to do next. geeze. what a lot of bullshit. (now you've got me pissed off all over again! hee hee.)

  9. Somehow my posts are having trouble getting through.

    I'm happy to cut Obama some slack on most issues, as being president is much more difficult than running for president, and I'm sure he has a lot to deal with that we aren't even aware of. I'm disappointed that he's considering dropping the public option, though. There's a lot of stupid people out there, but you'll have just as hard a time passing it without that than with.

    And yay Barney Frank. He's my hero, too!

  10. Nance, you do make the best case yet for combat pay for teachers.

    I just love how you speak my mind on everything else. Thanks for doing that...I am not that eloquent.

  11. Karen--Oh, thank you. I'll take anyone's big bucks, no problem! And if there is anything else your mind needs to say, I'll bet that I'll have no trouble at all saying it. LOL.

    Mikey--The public option is absolutely critical, in my opinion. It was a strenuously campaigned platform plank for Obama, and he needs to remember that. My issue with him is that he has to get tough, period. I think he is too accommodating. Get in the Oval, get Rahm on the horn, call in the right people, and smack down these morons who are sidetracking things.

  12. Nancy8:52 AM


    I loved your reply to Mikey and wail:

    "Where's Lyndon Johnson when you need him?"

  13. must be really upset to drop the "f-bomb" on your blog...

    Just tell me now if I should try to avoid any assignments at your school. Not that I can really afford to turn anything down at this point. Man, I didn't realize I there was a second killing. Maybe I should pay MORE attention to the news. Or maybe mu. murders are not news anymore, just everyday occurances.

    I'm so far our of the political circle, pathetic, I know. Maybe we should go out for a martini and you can catch me up!?!?

  14. Nina--Oh, well. I try to use the Eff Word judiciously so that when I do, you know it's a Big Deal.
    As far as coming up to school, I'd wait a while. Things are not settled yet. And I misspoke when I said two fatal shootings. I need to jump up there and re-edit. I thought I had properly revised and I had not. There was ONE fatal shooting; the other was NOT fatal. My error.

    Nancy--Your reference to LBJ has been much echoed by the media as of late. His methods of big-player meetings in the Oval are legend. I know Obama trumpets "transparency" and "bipartisanship," and I laud those things; really, I do. But I think a nice mix of LBJ's Old Style Politicking and Barack's Niceties might be very much In Order. No reason he can't call in some of these GOP Whiners and Speedbumps and ask what they need, meet them part way, then tell them what they'll get. Period.


Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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