...And Don't Say, "Blueberries" Because They Really Aren't Blue, They're Purple. Think About It.

What is with all this blue crap around to eat and drink? Blue Kool-Aid, blue cotton candy, blue gum, blue Jell-O, even. It's hideous. The final straw for me in this whole Blue Coup was the introduction of the blue M&M. I blogged about that indignity back in 2006, and I still hate how the blue M&M has screwed up the aesthetics of the basic M&M collection.

It's not that I have anything inherently against blue. In general, I'm cool with blue. (I used to have a nice blue bathroom.) But when it comes to food and drink, let's leave blue out of it. It's just not natural. There is no organically blue food.

Tons of weightloss research (now there's a pun!) has been done regarding the effect of blue; it's no accident that blue is off-putting to the appetite. Of grownups. Kids and teens, however, go ga-ga over blue stuff. Witness how popular blue sports drinks are. I've noticed in my own classroom how often students bring in blue drinks, even when there is the aftereffect of a blue tongue. Years ago, I started my own campaign with a very dire warning:

Me: Hey. You need to stop drinking that blue crap. All blue crap.
Kid: Why?
Me: What if someone switched it up and gave you Windex? You wouldn't know it until it was too late. Then you'd really be in trouble.
Kid: Wha--Oh, Mrs. D. You so crazy.

Whatever! Guess what happened?

Oh, just this, and I quote from the lead paragraph: "Ten children at a day care center drank windshield wiper fluid after a staffer served it from a container mistaken for Kool-Aid and placed in a refrigerator." Guess what color it was? BLUE! Each of the tots drank about an ounce of the toxin before realizing that it "tasted funny," according to another source.

An isolated incident of sheer stupidity that could never, ever happen again? HA! If only! Guess what is now banned at the Sedgwick County Zoo in Kansas. Blue Sno-Cones. Now guess why. Because an employee put blue degreaser on the treats instead of blue sugar syrup. According to the story, "A Sedgwick County Zoo employee could not tell the difference between the two and it nearly made four people sick."

I have, I believe, more than made my point.

Only to be foiled by my boyfriend, CNN.com. Fie on you, CNN.com. Fie on you for posting this story--and its adorable accompanying photo.
If you look closely at this little mousie, you will notice something unusual about it. Its tiny ears and paws are...blue. Blue from its Miracle Drug Treatment of...M&M Blue. Sigh. Yep. Scientists have found that the same dye that makes blue Gatorade and M&Ms (Brilliant Blue G) has a valuable therapeutic effect in the treatment of spinal cord injury when tested on laboratory mice. So far, the only side effect is the temporary blue discoloration. Which is, dammit, cute. On a mouse, at least, although if a person were to turn blue, then probably not cute. At all.

But let's leave blue in the science labs and cleaning products where it belongs. Let's not mix it in with the groceries and candy stores and concession stands, okay? Can we agree on that?

I'm Not A Fan Of Blue Food. Blue Medicine, of course. And Blue Pets...now that might be a Blue Innovation I can get behind. Temporarily.