Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Santa's Not The Only One With An Interesting List Around Here

So I'm going through my "Blogbits" folder on my computer. This is the folder where I save all the things I read online and think, "Hey! This might make a good blogpost someday." Let me tell you, just reading the titles makes me more than a little concerned if, for some odd reason, someone had reason to confiscate my hard drive and poke around. "Yikes," he or she would say, "what the hell is wrong with this chick?"

Half of the articles lead to a 404 Error, or page not found, so I'm out of luck on those. And, I figure--just like the clothes closet rule--if I haven't used them in the past 6 months to a year, I should just toss them. But, before I do, I feel the need to at least get some use out of them. So, I'm offering up the best ones here, in a list. Here are:

The Best Headlines Of Real Stories I've Read On The Interwebs
1. Toadzilla Captured in Australia
2. Coyote Caught at Downtown Quizno's
3. Kids Take on Lunch Lady--and Win!
4. Police Boss Kills Workers Who Asked for Raise
5. California Carpenter Can Work in the Buff
6. Woman Has Yard Full of Snapping Turtles
7. Monkey Crackdown no Funny Business for City
8. Ton of Snakes Seized on Plane
9. Put Those Polar Bears on a Diet!
10. Urine Trouble--Whizzinator Makers Plead Guilty

(That last one has a great first paragraph that still makes me chuckle.)

And, actually, you can still read the Toadzilla story. Go ahead. You'll thank me for it, especially when you get to the quote that includes the phrase "rampant male." It's damn good. But I did just kill 10 possible blogposts in one fell swoop. Oh, well.

But, speaking of lists, I'll sneak in a plug for Stuff On Our List. I know readers here will remember Jared, who appears often in my posts here at the Dept. He and I have collaborated on this new blog, which we've just started for fun and a way to do something together even though he's away. Click over if you have the time and inclination.
But watch out for snakes. And toads. And really, really, fat polar bears.


  1. Anonymous10:47 PM

    I only had time to check out the lunch lady article. I was rather let down, as well, since the title (deliberately no doubt) implies a food fight between rabid children and a battle-axe cafeteria lady, with lima beans and succotash plastering the walls, ceiling and floor. And then I discover it's a polite group of children who wrote nice, polite letters to politely request that something be done about the atrocious green beans being served, apparently the *only* thing on the menu that they found unpalatable! Now... I just *know* you could milk that one for a good post.

    I'm off to the new "other place" which I hope you appreciate because I am supposed to be writing one of my final papers, and do not even have time to be over here. Are you totally worth it, or what?!! :-))

    Word Verification: "buger" Thank goodness for the single consonant in the middle.

  2. Anonymous11:21 PM

    Crackdown on Monkeys? Boy are they strict!

  3. Are you a Buffy fan? They had an episode once where the lunch lady was putting rat poison in the jello, I think. The kids won that one, too, but barely. Yes, they were HS age kids, but still, more interesting than not liking green beans. ;)

  4. J.@jj--I never did watch the Buffy series, no. But on the green bean issue, unless they are fresh, I just cannot eat them. Frozen, canned, mushroom-soup-casseroled...nope.

    apathy lounge--that story was actually kinda scary. some town in India had wild monkeys running rampant, and a mob of them actually killed a guy! yikes.

    ortizzle--wow, are you stalling or what? i'm so proud of you, finding time for blogs as a stress-buster. I APPRECIATE YOU! now, as far as the lunch lady headline, I KNOW! i really felt it was a case of bait-and-switch, and you're right, it would have made a good post, but i never really was "feelin' it", you know? NOW GET BACK TO WORK! (you...b--ger. hee hee.)

  5. NO BUFFY???


    BTW, I just started (like, I'm on chapter 2 or 3) of The Pillars of the Earth. Just FYI.

  6. Anonymous7:57 PM


    One can only hope that Number 6 NEVER hires Number 5 to do any work in her yard.......

  7. Nancy--LOL! or that her yard isn't overrun by rampant male toadzillas or killer monkeys.

    j@jj--i hope you like it! i loved it and its sequel. and try to forgive me re: buffy.

  8. I just read this article on Palin's wardrobe, and it's nothing terribly interesting or new other than one part: "The RNC also spent close to $24,000 in several high end stores, including Ann Taylor, Bloomingdales, Brooks Brothers, Neiman's, Nordstrom, Macy's, Saks, Target, and Victoria's Secret."

    Target? High end? Hockey moms must be having it hard in Alaska if Target is considered high end ;-)

  9. Tell me more about the nude carpenter. That sounds either yummy or scary!

    Going over the the new site now...excited about that!!

  10. Mikey--Sigh. That's probably a little nugget they threw in there so that they could point to it and say, "Hey, we're economizing. She shopped at TARGET! She's JUST LIKE YOU LITTLE PEOPLE!" and some morons out there will actually buy it. no pun intended.

    Nina--that article is gone. Isn't it a shame? thanks for checking out the new spot, too.

  11. YAY! David Gregory got my vote and appartently someone else thought I was right too :)

  12. nina--I know! I had tabbed him way back right after Dear Tim passed away. Great minds...!

  13. I most certainly will be watching out for the toads. Really.


Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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