Tuesday, June 24, 2008

"Jug Of Warm Piss" Or Not, Tell Barack I'm Ready To Serve

So I'm watching Meet the Press on Sunday and Joe Biden is on and he gets The Question. It's inevitable, and I'm loving it because I love Joe Biden who is so bombastic and truthful that it's a little like watching a cross between Howard Dean and a pit bull on steroids go after a republican holding a raw Tbone. Here's the most germane part of the exchange verbatim:

MR. WILLIAMS: You interested in the vice presidency?
SEN. BIDEN: I am not interested in the vice presidency.
MR. WILLIAMS: You're not interested in the vice presidency.
SEN. BIDEN: I'm not interested.
MR. WILLIAMS: MEET THE PRESS, April 29th, 2007, Tim Russert asks Joe Biden, "You interested in being vice president?" "No, I will not be vice president under any circumstances." But in a different answer, you answered you'd have to say yes. I don't know, so...
SEN. BIDEN: Well, no. The bottom--look, the--when I was asked that question, I thought I was still going to be president. Now--number one, I, I am not interested in being vice president. I've let the candidate know. If the candidate asks me to be vice president, the answer is I got to say yes. But he's not going to ask me. Look, you cannot walk away...

Exactly, Joe Biden! And therein lies the point of my post today. If Barack Obama asked Joe Biden to serve as his Vice President of the United States of America, he would say yes. Who the hell wouldn't? When called upon to serve, you serve! This is your country we're talking about, ladies and gentlemen! In case you haven't noticed, it's in a big stinking mess, thanks to the republicans. It's time to roll up your sleeves and get to work on cleaning things up around here. Time to recall the words of a famous Democrat and put your own affairs aside and get on with the job.

This is exactly what I said to Rick and Jared as we watched MTP's segment. (Among other things. I also called Sen. Lindsey Graham an Old Lady Fussypants and referred to South Carolina's secessionist tendencies, but I digress.)

Me: You go, Joe Biden! Everyone would be Vice President. Or at least they should. I would!
Rick: You'd make a great vice president.
Me: I would be Barack's vice president in a heartbeat. Wouldn't you, Jared?
Jared: No.
Me: What?! Of course you would! You have to! This is your country we're talking about! If Barack Obama needed you, you would serve.
Jared: Nope. I would be a nightmare. I would tell everyone to go f*ck themselves.
Me: No you wouldn't. You would want to help. You're a student of history. You would care deeply about our country!
Jared: It sounds like a lotta work to me.
Me: Jared! Besides, you get a motorcade and all kinds of cool stuff.
Rick: Nance, it's perfect for you. You finally get to live in D.C., and have a staff and a driver.
Jared: Oh my god. Mom. You just had me drive you around the other day for six hours while you shopped for a purse. And you called and had Ali meet us at the mall to help. There's your driver and your staff. And you boss me around like nuts. You're already vice president.


  1. "Jared: Nope. I would be a nightmare. I would tell everyone to go f*ck themselves."

    I just couldn't get past this part...the hysterical laughter almost made me piss my pants!

  2. Dear Madam Vice President,

    Do you think that I could borrow your driver and staff on Friday? I've been wanting a new purse as well.



  3. You gotta love the brutal honesty of young people!! ROFL

    I think the driver and the car would be the best part of being VP. However, keep in mind that you'd spend most of that time being driven to boring functions and not shoe shopping (but at least we know you'd spell "potato" correctly if put in that position!). ;)

  4. Over here in Africa, there's an artist named Black Rasta who wrote a song called "Barack Obama." I haven't heard it yet, but I bought a copy and am looking forward to hearing it when I get back to the states.

    It's weird here - some people are completely aware of the election going on in the states, knowing about Clinton, Obama and McCain, and yet some people are completely unaware that an African American is running for president of the USA. And it isn't that it's the rich who know and the poor who don't - I've spoken to several people who seem to be doing okay here, and it's a mixed bag. Not that anyone would necessarily expect anything different, but it's interesting.

  5. Anonymous9:06 AM

    Democratic Party VP nominees:
    Richard Mentor Johnson, George M. Dallas, William O. Butler, William R. King, John C. Breckinridge, Herschel Vespasian Johnson, Joseph Lane, George H. Pendleton, Francis Preston Blair, Jr., Benjamin Gratz Brown, Thomas A. Hendricks, William H. English, Thomas A. Hendricks, Allen G. Thurman, Adlai E. Stevenson I, Arthur Sewall, Henry G. Davis, John W. Kern, Thomas R. Marshall, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Charles W. Bryan, Joseph Taylor Robinson, Charles W. Bryan, John Nance Garner, Henry A. Wallace, Harry S. Truman, Alben W. Barkley, John Sparkman, Estes Kefauver, Lyndon Johnson, Hubert Humphrey, Edmund Muskie, Sargent Shriver, Walter Mondale, Geraldine A. Ferraro, Lloyd Bentsen, Al Gore, Joe Lieberman, John Edwards, Nance from the Department of.
    Seems about right to me.

  6. anonymous--Pretty distinguished company. here's what I noticed: as nominee, I would not be the first woman, nor would I be the first Nance. But, since Barack will win, however, I will be the first of both to actually BE Vice President. I hope Barack is reading and considering.

    ck--sigh. you are NOT helping my candidacy if you are not taking me seriously.

    i.h.--but what is the buzz about ME?

    shirley--oh, baloney. you know me: I WILL FIND TIME TO SHOE SHOP. after all, condi found time to go buy killer boots during international crises. it is true that my spelling is flawless, however; thank you for noting that.

    nina--lol. at your own risk. you see how surly my driver/staff is.

    tera--try living with him. not so hysterical all the time. sigh.

  7. Anonymous9:39 AM

    Pictures? Of the purse? Pleeeze?

  8. I'm with Jared. I would not serve. I'm just that selfish and wimpy, and that job must SUCK. But I'd totally vote for you. Does that help?

  9. j.@jj.--sigh. naturally, i'm flattered. but j....America is at stake!

    a.l.--just for you, look in my sidebar.

  10. I would probably use the Jared method of dealing with the presidency.

    And yes, it does take about 6 hours to find a purse you like. Unless you have unlimited funds. (How do you afford the gas?!)

  11. That's the best. The best. I love it. You have completely worked out the family hierarchy in your favor. I am in awe of you. And I love Jared's honesty ala "I'd tell everyone to F*ck off". hehehehehe

  12. Anonymous7:31 PM

    I'd never want to be vice president. The only time it's a powerful position is when the president is a total idiot. Like now. Then, no matter how smart you are, your reputation is perpetually stained by the president's action.

    Look what happened to Al Gore.

    Being vice president says, "My political career is OVER."

  13. Actually, it was absurd. There's a Dutch guy here who said that he was walking down the street yesterday, and someone called him Barack Obama. He stopped and explained that he wasn't from the states and furthermore, he wasn't black. Weird goings on.

    And if you came over here, you'd be just as famous as the next white person walking around. Honestly, you'd probably turn more heads than Barack Obama, although his skin is light enough that he might turn heads, too.

    I'm going to have to start doing silly things when I get back to the states if I want to keep being the center of attention ;-)

  14. i.h.--but i want to be MORE famous. actually, that's not true. i want to be famous on The Interwebs, but not in person. that's just too scary.

    v-grrrl--but Al Gore has bounced back admirably. geeze, the guy only needs what, a Tony and an Emmy now?

    laura--oh, thanks, but if i TRULY had worked out the family hierarchy in my favor, EmilyCat would NOT be waking me at 7:30 AM for her mush. sigh. (i have a sad little life, really.)

    ortizzle--I HAVE A HYBRID. and, my purse hunt has been taking place--unofficially--for months. i am constantly on the lookout. so the PRESHOPPING was already done. the major SERIOUS SHOPPING only was left. and it was pretty much centrally located. don't judge. LOL.

  15. I admit two things, freely.

    1. I don't care a whit about purses, so the idea of shopping for 6 hours to find one gives me hives.

    2. That's a mighty cute purse. I like it in green.

  16. j.@jj--1. a purse is such a necessary evil that it absolutely HAS to be the right one and it must absolutely pass stringent requirements. i've had to buy a new purse because of a recurrence of a shoulder ailment which takes out of commission all of my purses (i am a shoulder-strap girl). this takes time, although six hours is an exaggeration, but admittedly not much.

    2. The green in the picture is actually a little darker than the actual color "in person". The buttercup one i got is very nice and sort of the color of the batter of a yellow cake mix.


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