But I digress.
I'm talking about the dangerous, injurious Crocs.
Have you heard of this? Not only are these rubbery miscarriages of fashion absolutely heinous to the eye, but they are now the cause of WORLDWIDE ESCALATOR CASUALTIES. No! I am not kidding. This is fact. There are countless reputable news outlets reporting this phenomenon. Why, as recently as yesterday (18 Sept. 2007), The Chicago Sun-Times online reported that "According to reports from as far away as Singapore and Japan, entrapments occur because of two of the shoes' selling points: their flexibility and grip. Some report the shoes get caught in the ''teeth'' at the bottom or top of the escalator, or in the crack between the steps and the side of the escalator."
One can only imagine the devastating and gory results.
Want to know more? Then do what alert and concerned mom and researcher Jodi McDermott of Vienna, Virginia did when her four-year-old son Rory got his Croc-encased foot stuck in a mall escalator last month! After managing to yank him free and rejoicing that he escaped with almost getting a toenail ripped off, she "came home and typed in 'Croc' and 'escalator,' and all these stories came up,'' she related, the horror still fresh in her voice. And no wonder! Undoubtedly, she was the Croc-Purchaser in the first place. Oh, the inhumanity!
As if the whole thing doesn't have the insidious undercurrent of a Stephen King novel about it already, the plot thickens. Croc officials, when reached for comment, claim that they are already working closely with the Elevator/Escalator Safety Foundation on a campaign to raise public awareness through education about this issue. But spokesperson for EESF, executive director Barbara Allen says that's just not true. Allen said that after an initial contact way back in 2006, no one from Crocs has contacted her since, nor returned subsequent calls made by her office. It's a case of see ya later, alligator.
Those Crocs. I always knew they were just plain no good. And now, there is proof.
I was so relieved that the ugly and dangerous shoes were NOT the adorable pumps. I've read that the wretched
ReplyDeleteCrocs are being marketed to medical personnel now.
At least they should know what to do when their feet get attacked.
These Crocs were made for killin' and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these Crocs are gonna pull you foot first into mechanical stairs that will tear you apart until you DIE.
ReplyDeleteOnly $29.99. Get yours today!
And those damned things are taking over the nation by storm!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is so strange that you posted this because just this morning, a young girl who was sporting that fashion abomination was walking incredibly slow, and in an attempt to move around her, her croc jaws gripped my leg causing me to trip and fall. I've never been friends with crocs, and it's true that they're deadly.
ReplyDeleteMore disturbing than anything else concerning Crocs is the fact that there exists in large numbers Crocs snobs. People come into stores "do you have Crocs?" No we have these that are just like them but made by skechers a reputable brand that has been around more than a year and a half. "No, i want the real thing." Then fuck you and your plastic shoes...foot life's a bitch and she's married to foot fungus. And they reside in old smelly ass plastic shoes.
ReplyDeleteDonnage OUT
I think I'm gonna spew over some crocs... love your plaid #'s though.
ReplyDeleteI love those tartan plaid shoes. I can only imagine that outfit is fabulous. I want a pair of those shoes.
ReplyDeleteAnd I heard about the dangers of crocs awhile ago. Besides that, those shoes are awful.
nancy a2--medical personnel already wear ugly shoes, so they can have crocs. and thanks for appreciating the pumps!!
ReplyDeletei.h.--i dug your tune until it lost the rhythm there after "are gonna...!" LOL LOL.
tera--and now they are selling little stick-on charm thingies to add on to them! it's just so wrong!
steve m--and who do you call? the aspca? animal control? the police? now that steve irwin is dead, to whom do we turn? best wishes!! (and thanks for commenting!!!!)
donnage--as if rubber shoes aren't just rubber shoes. and since when are rubber shoes a status thing!? bad fashion is bad fashion! someone needs to slap these people
mad munkey--you have impeccable taste, both in blogs and in shoes! lol. thanks for stopping by the dept. and for your comments!
jenomena--oh thanks! i was the chat of The Rock. it was wonderful, AND they were on sale. could it be any more fantastic? YES! IF the pair of taupe suede and faux lizard pumps were also available in my size. sadly, it was not to be.
That was my biggest fear as a child (getting eaten by an escalator). I knew there was a reason I don't own a pair.
ReplyDeleteThe Manolo would be so proud of you!
ReplyDeletemaybe people who buy crocs deserve to be sucked up by escalators. maybe its the governments way of eliminating all the non-fashion sense people of the world.
ReplyDeleteoh how I do love a good conspiracy theory :)
How can something that's such a crock... be so expensive? It's PLASTIC. And now, apparently, it's killer plastic. The Crocs execs had better start putting away all of that profit they are making, because in the U.S., quintessential country of litigation, somebody, sooner or later, is going to sue them. If nothing else, for causing a heart attack in those of us who have to look at them everywhere. :-)
ReplyDeleteI have to break with the herd here: I am not fully onboard with the tartan pumps. I think it's the tartan-covered heel that sends me over the edge.
ReplyDeleteIn Virginia in the late 70s and early 80s, I was suffocated by the preppie matchy-matchy culture. I had the tartan kilts and fair isle sweaters too, but the tartan handbags, accessories, and shoes were just TOO much of a good thing for me.
I could care less about the crocs, but those plaid pumps kick ass!
ReplyDeletemrsgrumpy--i once saw a woman drop her baby on an escalator near the bottom, and the ensuing horror made me fear escalators for years and years...far into early adulthood. even now, i ride them with trepidation.
ReplyDeletegina--oh, thank you.
nina--you know, perhaps you have quite something there!!
ortizzle--i hear you! it amazes me that there hasn't been word of a class action suit yet.
v-grrrl--you know, the heels being plaid actually gave me pause also. but the key for me is that i wear them with all black, or with only a red accessory piece. i would never EVER attempt to wear them with any other plaid item.
mrs. g.--oh, thank you so much! i just absolutely love them. and the fact that they were on sale just sealed the deal for me. that was like a beacon!
I love your shoes! Very cute! I've been reading about all the Croc accidents too. Very scary shoes. And did you hear about the new combination of Crocs and Ugg boots called Cruggs? I don't know what the world is coming to.
ReplyDeleteI have those heels! So cute! :D
ReplyDelete