Sigh.
January, I must tell you, has seen me surpass Pandemic Fatigue and stride purposefully into Pandemic Burnout. The weather has been shitful: grey, freezing cold, windy, sunless, icy, sleety or snowy or wintry mixy off and on, and cloudy. Did I mention there has been almost no sun? Well, there hasn't. One night, we threatened to have cherry pie for dinner. Another night, ice cream. One day, I stayed in my jammies until two o'clock.
I've discovered that there are Words now for some other Pandemic Things I can relate to. I'm not the only one who is Pangry a great deal of the time. Have you heard of Pangry? It's the term used for the anger you feel for people who are ignoring the pandemic, who are engaging in risky behaviours and prolonging this agony for the rest of us. You know them--they're the ones who are still gathering in large, unmasked groups, sitting shoulder to shoulder in bars, having parties, throwing big weddings, and defying mask mandates.
And speaking of Masks, why is it that a vast majority of men cannot grasp the fact that Masks Are To Be Worn Over The Nose? This is absolutely a Man Thing, and I do not want to hear any Excuses posing as Reasons for it. Men can wear masks properly, period. They just stubbornly refuse to do so for some ridiculously idiotic male reason. I see it constantly, and I call it out constantly at the grocery store, the pharmacy, or anyplace I have to be. (Luckily, my grocery store has become Militant About Proper Masking, and I do tattle.) Writer James Gorman of The New York Times has invented a new word for this phenomenon, this proclivity of men sliding their masks below their noses; he calls it Manslipping. Manslipping, he says, "is like manspreading. We — some of us — do it because we are, well, men. And you know what men are like." Yes. Yes I do.
It is here that I must say all three of the Dept. Men wear masks properly.
Before this final post of January becomes completely snarky and unrelentingly grumpy, let me move on to the Sunday Sundries.
^*^I read with great excitement the news that two dwarf giraffes were discovered in the world. I immediately thought of how fun it would be to have little giraffes, like miniature horses or mini cows, just wee little things, like pets. My joy was dispelled somewhat when I read on and saw that they were still 9.3 and 8.5 feet tall.
^*^On my way home from the grocery store Wednesday, I saw five fat robins in someone's tree lawn. Since robins are usually a harbinger of Spring in NEO, I was startled. Last year, they arrived early, but not this early. Yesterday, two fluffed-up robins sat in my barberry bush, eating berries in the cold wind. I smiled, though, thinking that I had not taken their nest down from last season, only cleaned out the dangerous fishing line from within it.
^*^Today's obituaries in the Cleveland Plain Dealer yielded last names of Downer, Dingle, and Funk. Once again, I thanked my husband for not having a last name that would have made my career difficult.
^*^One last interesting Word, this one newly added to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary: sapiosexual--sexually or romantically attracted to highly intelligent people.
(I'd like to believe I married one of those.)
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My man covers his nose!!! No manslipping here.
ReplyDeleteAnni--I'm so very glad to hear that. Keep UP the good work.
DeleteDwarf giraffes? Yes please. Sapiosexual? Of course I am.
ReplyDeleteAs for suffering from pandemic burnout, sign me up. I'm an introvert, but I am tired of my own company, and dare I say, the company of my husband who is a lovely person, but time to branch out, as it were.
Ally B--Honestly, who wouldn't want to look out her window and see a wee giraffe cavorting among the landscaping? Or have one cuddled on the blanket next to her as she reads or watches Netflix? I am still hopeful.
DeleteI hear you on Pandemic Burnout. I love my Solitude, but I'm sick of it being Forced. And sick of shunning other human beings, of being downright Fearful of them. It's Alienating.
Yay, a Nance post!
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you, the only thing saving me from pandemic burnout is focusing on my 30 day challenges. I knew I had to do something by the end of the year we do not speak of or I might have just become one with my couch forever.
Pangry - well you know I'm beyond Pangry with my future daughter in law. As my mother used to say, I'd like to shake that girl until her teeth rattled! I can't say I'm very happy about my son's choices lately either. I knew I raised him have respect for women and treat them right, but I never said they are queens he has to bow to!
Luckily my Seaside men all wear masks properly too.
I must say that I was very excited for a minute there thinking of tiny little giraffes running around, but I suppose 8-9 feet is still pretty small for them. I sure hope the robins are a sign that spring will arrive early. You've had way too much miserable weather lately!
Martha-- Yay, a Martha comment!
DeleteYou have the right idea. Aside from saving my Good Things, I need to refocus my energies and get motivated so that 2021 has tangible positive outcomes. Winter is always tough on me; this is nothing new, so if I can get past it with some grace, I think I'll be okay.
I was thinking of you when I read of Pangry. It doesn't help you to know that you're not the only one, I know. You make a good point about the Big Difference between respecting women and kowtowing or losing oneself to them.
Kudos to the Seaside men. Glad to hear it.
I was trying to comment earlier but blogger was being a butt head. I can see others have commented now, so maybe it is fixed...trying again.
ReplyDelete1. Dwarf giraffes! I need to go out RIGHT NOW and buy a bigger house, one with vaulted ceilings and a huge sofa, so I can get one and cuddle it.
2. I wish you could come here. We have had rain, thank god, but mostly January was sunny and bright, and though it is supposed to rain tomorrow and Tuesday, I think if you were to come out on Wednesday or Thursday, we could have a sunny day of it, and the magnolias might be blooming in Golden Gate Park.
3. I am so very OVER this pandemic. I am so very OVER these assholes not doing the right thing, which allows the virus to continue spreading, and now mutating. If it couldn’t spread, it couldn’t mutate. Assholes. Or, as Ted calls them, Maskholes. I feel like around here, there are just as many women doing the ‘under the nose’ thing, but I am not positive. In the name of science, I will keep a tally and report back to the Dept.
4. I am happy to report that I am sleeping better these last week and a half since the asshole in chief left office. I was able to stay up late and sleep in this weekend, something that I haven’t really managed in the last couple of years. Whew! Are you sleeping any better, even with the continued jackassery going on? I hope so.
J--I keep watching the weather maps and looking for Rain for you. I rejoice when I see green swaths in your area.
DeleteI am sleeping well, thank you. I was sleeping pretty well overall, just constantly irritated by the news, etc. The best thing I notice is that I no longer feel this negativity or dread whenever Lester Holt and the Nightly News comes on. The lack of seeing that face and hearing that voice is wonderful.
As to the manslipping, perhaps men on the left coast are more evolved. Here in NEO (aka Midwest Texas, or The South Of The North), where men put on their khakis to attend evening weddings and always wear their ball caps at the Olive Garden (fine dining), wearing a mask (or "face diaper", as many so sneeringly call it) is a blow to their masculinity and a political thing. They also "think it's stupid."
Again, sigh.
I wish I could come there, too. The news the other day was doing a story on long-time restaurants all over the country that had to close. They showed Cliff House. It made me sad.
P Angry! My computers damn autocorrect won't let me type it as you do. I feel so relieved that there is word for this stinking, selfish, purposeful act. It is a pandemic for god sake, it doesnt get worse than this. Put a stinking mask on. Or stay on your own plot of land, your own apartment or your own means of transport. Weeks ago, before the Christzoom, when Fireman and I hiked the lakefront path, if someone went by us without a mask,, I reenacted the cough of a long time smoker with green phlegm in their throat. It startled them. I never made eye contact. Since our family is first responders of the third generation, we like masks. we prefer them. Dont let that person who spits even the tiniest bit when they speak get anywhere near my face.. we keep our occasional halitosis to ourselves with a mask on. We have cute masks, political masks, and seasonal masks. TO those of you mask refusers, I have to say ,You are damn lucky Im retired. I would so look at your germy i phone and call you out for any maskless photos. I would have no problem telling my head nurse that I have a problem treating a patient and would prefer another assignment. You can do that. I won't get into it now, but it was not uncommon at all for nurses to struggle with social and ethical quandaries, that led to them preferring not to care for some patients. Sometimes I was that nurse, sometimes I was the one willing to care for the patient no one else wanted. There was someone for everyone back then. Now? I honestly wonder. I tell people if they won't mask for themselves, how about for the healthcare workers who are exhausted, more likely to make a mistake even if you just come in for an appendectomy, how about you do it for them. You know because you are really doing it for you. Which seems to be what you care about.
ReplyDelete(the collective you, of course, not Nance) Phew
kathy b--Absolutely. It's the rampant Selfishness that most disappoints, dismays, and angers me. As it does you. These individuals are saying, "Tough shit. I don't care. My feelings matter more than anything else." These are the same individuals--notice I don't call them people--who say things like "you've gotta live your life" and "life is short". They don't see the Irony in their statements because they are willfully ignorant.
DeleteThose of us who are compassionate, intelligent, kind, and understand the science and care about Life will keep doing what we have to do, in spite of (and because of) these reprehensible morons. I just don't keep quiet about it anymore. Like all of you, I'm over it.
No manslipping in this house! And actually, I've seen more women doing that than men! Dwart giraffes crack me up and Sapiosexual is a fabulous word - like you, I think that describes my husband! LOL
ReplyDeleteVera--Get the women around you shaped up. They're dragging us all down.
DeleteVocab expansion is always good and that selection is, um, topical. I hear you on the fatigue bit. Every once and a while I just have to ... sleep. And hope that when I wake up the sun will be shining. We are having some vaccine roll-out here, in the Long Term Care homes, staff and residents. This is the best news in a long time. The rest of us are going to have to wait, and I am prepared, grumpily, to do so. I can isolate. I have books, a comfortable reclining chair, and a fairly cheerful spouse who, when he remembers the damn mask, does put it on properly. And sun.
ReplyDeleteI could do with a robin or two. My wistful wish list does not even reach the heights of a dwarf giraffe.
I was thinking the other day that if this shutdown had happened pre-internet, we would be in a very different and more difficult situation.
The grandkid is back in school as of Tuesday. Canadian political history in the mornings and calculus in the afternoons. If you have a spare robin, she will probably need one soon. But she has two tentative acceptances for university next year, contingent on the marks staying where they have been for the last three plus years. Maybe two robins?
Mary--If all this had happened without the Interwebs, I cannot even imagine. Amazon has kept me stocked with some books, so that would have gone by the wayside as well.
DeleteOhio's rollout is clunky and hampered by the previous administration's ineptitude. I was able to get my mother her first dose of vaccine; now waiting for the booster. Rick and I are way down on the list. We don't expect anything until summer, maybe.
I have not seen my robins since. We got snow--a few inches--and more on the way. I hope they are warm someplace.
Many schools here have been in-person since September, with a brief return to online after Christmas. Cases among kids remain very very low.
I'm sure your granddaughter will be graduating with much honour. She comes from a long line of smarts.
Our library is doing take-out. A mixed blessing. Glad your mother got her jab. Apparently, even one shot is a good protection. As for the grandkid, the universities demand current marks and all of our high schools are rejigged to do two courses at a time instead of four courses. So they are waiting on her second bimester (? whatever they call it) results. Our contagion rate in the schools is also very low, but Ontario is being cautious with a vengeance.
DeleteI get very Pangry at the pandemic fools who think we're treading on their freedom by enforcing mask-wearing. They are treading on *Our Lives.* Sheesh! I couldn't believe the ones in L.A. the other day who shut down a vaccination distribution center with their protests of people getting vaccinations. They don't want the jab? Great. Nobody is forcing them. But to stop others who *do* want it? WTF?! Apparently, one of their latest conspiracies is that the vaccine is a government plot and actually makes people very sick with COVID and endangers *them.* Which takes us full circle with the other conspiracy that COVID is a hoax. Regarding men vs. women: I see a lot of both, actually. What I do see men doing a lot more is having the mask pulled completely down!! (While The Wife, clearly not sapiosexual, is wearing her mask properly.)
ReplyDeleteCOVID NEWS FLASH: Mr. O. & I GOT OUR FIRST VACCINE JAB LAST WEEK!! In Texas you only have to be over 65; I think in some states it’s 70 or more. Really, really grateful for that. We go back in a month for the 2nd dose. I hope they don’t run out on the day we go back!
Downer, Dingle, and Funk: Yep. If I were saddled with an unfortunate surname, I would sure as heck change it. I see some doozies, too, at the uni. Last semester I had a Pakistani student whose last name was Sodawaterwala. And I once had a Vietnamese student whose name was Phat Kao. I never got over reading out his name the first day I took attendance.
I love your graphic. How did you make that?! Very cool.
Off to prep tomorrow’s classes. Lovely to see you post again. XXOO
Ortizzle--Ohio just got done vaccinating those 80 and older. The rollout is horrid and clunky, and the onus is on the public to find a provider, make the appointment, and go. It's all online, too. Naturally, I took care of the details for my 90-year old mother who is in the initial stages of Alzheimer's. It could not be any more of a dumpster fire, the way they are doing it. One site ran out of vaccine in the first hour.
DeleteThe whole politicization of every facet of the pandemic is ridiculous. I can't help but think things would have been markedly different if we had had a real President when it first broke out. Anti-vaxxers are the epitome of willful stupidity, and like 45* supporters, you cannot reason or debate with them.
I'm so glad you two got vaccinated, and fingers crossed you get the booster in a timely manner. Rick and I don't see an opportunity until probably summertime. At the earliest. We're both 61 right now.
Phat Kao. So great.
My graphic was found blank, at the site I credit below. I opened it in Paint and added the words with a text block. It took probably longer than it should have, but...retired, you know. XXOO
Dee--Nor will the dwarf giraffes fit under mine. Or my ceilings. Why is it that they cannot be much smaller, like as tall as we are? Science is missing out on some lucrative opportunity here. So many people would love a miniaturized giraffe. Or zebra. Or really, name any animal. All animals are cuter when tinier. Think of what Science could fund by selling mini animals. $$$$$
ReplyDeleteI understand your Panger, of course. Here in NEO, there are very few women who wear masks incorrectly. My experience is largely with men. But I agree with you; the women anti-maskers or slippers are undeniably his admirers and loyalists. (In other words, lost and deluded.)
Dee--I adore my Commenters. I just know if we met up (SOMEDAY!), we'd just start talking as if we'd had a brief break in the action.
ReplyDeleteYou may have explained a bit of the Manslipping. Men often simply do not pay attention to what they consider "not top of mind" at the time. But, as you proved, they CAN do better!
I read a good slogan over the weekend "Mask it or casket!"
ReplyDeleteI also read that there are 48 days to the first day of Spring (even less now)! YaY!
I spoke to my cousin over the weekend who is caring for her husband with early onset Alzheimer's which made me realize - my life is good! Some days it is hard to focus on the positive but what better choice do we have?
Thanks for always finding some "good things" to share and for brightening my day with your posts!
Ellen--I heard the number of days until the official First Day Of Spring, too. I also wait to hear when pitchers and catchers are to report to Spring Training. That always makes me feel a little closer to Spring, even though I'm not into baseball.
DeleteI do try to make sure that I notice the Good Things. I also think it's just as important to validate the frustrations and anger I feel so that I don't feel guilty about them. My feelings are my feelings. As the poem "The Guest House" by Rumi says about our emotions, each one is "an unexpected visitor./Welcome and entertain them all!"
I'm so glad to be a bright spot in your days. I hope to be for a long time to come.
The Coach knows how to cover his nose. That's a tongue twister.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I see both sexes doing it the wrong way all.the.time. Young and Old. It's a head-scratcher for sure.
Well, the dwarf giraffes would work in your home if you have 10ft ceilings, so I considering a pair.
Robins ARE so pretty. We don't have them in at our home in FL, but I saw a group of them in GA and I went bananas as I'd never seen them in person before. Praying that spring makes her way to you and brings lots of sunshine!
BB Suz--Your first sentence would be one I'd use as an example of Internal Rhyme were I still teaching.
DeleteFlorida is not leading by example, that's for sure. At times, that whole state is a head-scratcher. But I am sitting up here in several inches of snow, so I'm still jealous of you.
Hey, go get those giraffes if they ever become available to the GP. I can't wait to see the photos and videos of them over at your spot, and I can just see them being transported via open trailer to your GA house. Now I'm really invested in this, and it's playing like a movie in my head.
Mike is VERY conscientious about wearing his mask. I'm pretty proud of him! We have women & men here at work who don't pull theirs over their noses - I've had to point that out to them & I'm not shy about it! Of course, I'm HR, so they expect me to be a rule follower. Out in the public? I am much more timid.
ReplyDeleteJust today I started double-masking. I might not do it every day, but when I know I have a meeting & will be with someone for more than a few minutes, I'll try to add that second mask.
You mentioned pitchers and catchers above - that's just a lovely sign of spring. I can't wait!
Bug--Thank you for doing your part, at least in your offices. And at home. I'm glad The Professor is on top of it, too. It's easy to do in public; just be very sweet and say, "Excuse me, but your mask has slipped below your nose. It needs to be covered as well." That's always my FIRST play.
DeleteI don't double-mask. My masks are custom-made by my friend who is a quilter. She made them three layers of dense cotton. I cannot see light through them, and they fit really well. I'm so grateful to her; she made some for Rick as well.
I know you're a baseball fan. This past season must have been a pretty decent diversion for you. Right now, I'm doing pretty well with my basketball fantasy season, but COVID is presenting challenges. It's taken out some of my best players, and I fell out of first place.
I've been doing field research on manslipping, and I have to say that in my experience, I've seen many women doing it as well. I've also seen many women doing the wear-it-on-your-chin move, even more than the just-under-your-nose technique. In fact, I've seen this horribly often with people working at airports, which is pretty horrifying! If I wasn't wearing a well-fitted KN95 mask, I'd probably have COVID already.
ReplyDeleteAlso, regarding sapiosexuals...I met a guy last year, and he made some good book recommendations. My heart melted.
Oh gosh, a good book recommendation will do that, won’t it? People not wearing their masks correctly at an airport is indeed horrifying. I wear my mask under my chin when I’m out walking the dog, because there is no one around...not even anyone in sight. If anyone gets within about 20 feet of me, I pull it up over my nose and mouth.
DeleteMikey--Perfect proof of a sapiosexual: book recommendations. Sigh. And then, to be able to sit there and talk of books. Or The Language. Heaven.
DeleteIt's insane that something as easy as wearing a bit of cloth or paper over your NOSE AND MOUTH is such a huge deal for some people. WTF? Do they not, for one moment, think about the fact that surgeons and OR nurses wear them for hours at a time, every single day? PRE-pandemic? And do just fine?
Just got your latest email. XXOO
I like your word collection! Worked with a guy who liked to collect what he considered interesting names, then because he worked in broadcasting delighted in practicing them aloud with changing inflections, and other voicing features. The only name I remember now he used to speak was Dward Farquhar.
ReplyDeleteJoared--That's a whole 'nother post.
DeleteNortheast Ohio is pretty dismal some days this time of the year but the sunsets are just beautiful, aren't they? One my favorite words is gloaming; I try and enjoy that every night. My daughter lives in Cleveland, in Terminal Tower, and the views from her apartment are just spectacular. She sends me a picture for the truly amazing ones b/c she knows how much I enjoy them. Little blessings!
ReplyDeleteI am hoping we start ramping up the vaccine rollout around here. The whole thing is a mess. I am 57; have no idea when I'll get it...am just hoping production kicks in so there will be more shots available. It annoys me to no end when I hear people say they're not sure they will take it. Dear lord. Give it to me!
Elle--Honestly, I have seen very few sunsets. You're right, however, that when they are visible, they are lovely.
DeleteThe vaccine rollout is a mess. I was able to get my 90-year old mother her first shot by careful reading of the paper and going to several websites, signing up at four places. There is NO WAY she would have been able to accomplish it on her own. What a ridiculous struggle, and how unconscionable to place the onus on the elderly in this way.
I'm 61, and I'm like you--no idea when I'll be eligible or when supply will be available for those of us near the end of the line. Summer? Fall? When I heard that nursing home workers have declined the vax at the rate of 50%, I was outraged. The Undecided are right up there with the Anti-Maskers for me.
I can't begin to tell you how much I needed this post this morning and the smile that is always accompanied by reading your words..(Of course I just returned from the grocery store...and there was no 'manslipping' going on, just ignorant men refusing to wear a mask...and sort of leering at mask wearers, ready to start a brawl in the middle of the produce aisle. I am so done with most people. My immediate, like minded friends are OK. And I'll include you in my pod even though I don't know you.)
ReplyDeleteAnd as a former Buffalonian, I do so remember these long dreary winters. We here in KY keep getting 'teasers'...sunny one day with temps inching into tolerable, and then slammed with icy rain and clouds for a week. In some respects, not expecting anything is better than continually getting your hopes slammed. And as any good Minnesotan (or former resident of Buffalo) will tell you...there is no bad weather, just bad clothes. My dog has insisted I learn this lesson and we venture out three times a day...all temps and all weather (although she isn't real happy about a good driving rain,..she often has more sense than I do). I usually come back inside, appreciating the warmth and fire far more than when I left!!! Well, you really didn't want to read a treatise from me this morning...sorry about this. I don't talk to many people. My dog doesn't count. Don't tell her I said that.
steph--Please do include me in your Pod. I like to think of my Readers and Commenters as Virtual, Like-Minded Friends.
DeleteHere in NEO, believe it or not, our cases of bareface are quite rare. Businesses are held liable for customers' non-compliance, and they can be shut down for repeat complaints. A few bars here have lost their liquor licenses, and in OH, the license is tied to the location, not the owner of the business. It puts teeth into the mandate.
I have been getting out to shovel, which I do like to do. It's terrific exercise and keeps me warm. But walking is out of the question, for safety's sake. Not many in the neighborhood keep their walks shoveled, and we've now had the dreaded Wintry Mix, so all walks are a sheet of ice. I'm terrified of falling.
Even the streets are icy.
I do have to laugh about your Minnesotan Mantra. I heard the same thing, but it was in Alaska, claimed to be an Alaskan saying. LOL.
And you're always welcome to chat me up here. Nice to see you again.
The men and mask wearing down under their noses just pisses me off. I see it everywhere, Men with kids in tow, men at the grocery store, don't even get me started on Home Depot. It is like they are saying you can't make me do this correctly, I am a man! Well you are a stupid man and a pathetic father walking around like that for your kids to see. I hope you see many more Robins, they have been here a bit but I am not seeing them anymore so they must have headed north. Stay safe.
ReplyDeleteMeredith--It's sad, isn't it? You bring up a great point, that of setting a good example for not only their own children, but for children in general. It seems such a small thing--to wear a mask in public--to achieve such a hugely beneficial result. I just don't get the resistance.
DeleteWe're in the deep freeze now, so I worry for my robins. I hope they're staying warm somehow. Enjoy your warmth in Florida!
First, I agree with everyone else. This graphic is great! Both attractive and effective. The pangriness continues; that's for sure. We have too many discussions on this topic in my house. I'm tired of it. Tired of that kind of behavior and tired of talking about it. We all are. Yet, we can't help ourselves. It's especially hard when it's friends and family who are part of the group. We hope they live, don't kill others, and that we'll be able to forgive them no matter what.
ReplyDeleteAround here, it's rare to see a man wearing a mask, much less wearing it properly. We see tons of photos from our local newspaper, in local forums online, etc. where the female/wife/mom is wearing a mask, the kids are wearing a mask, but the husband/dad is barefaced. Too many local businesses will not enforce mask wearing. Another reason that we will continue to stay home.
The robins showed up here way early and I was so hopeful about their arrival. But their appearance has not brought warmer weather. I now find myself wondering where they are, how they are staying warm. I just learned the other day from a Smithsonian post that gray squirrels will find other gray squirrels, strangers to them, and cuddle together as necessary to stay warm. Who knew?
We have a well-known local family with the last name of Funk. There was a branch in our county and a branch in town. What seem worse to me is when people with unusual last names seem to go for alliterative combos. Case in point, Freeman Funk and Frances Funk. We actually bought this property through Frances Funk. She has since passed on but was a realtor at the time.
Mini giraffes. It's probably a blessing that they're not as small as we'd like. Have you read about Giraffe Manor in Nairobi? I have friends who have stayed there. They said it was an amazing experience. I imagine it would be both really cool and a bit disquieting to have giraffes looking in one's window when staying on the second floor. I mean we know giraffes are friendly but they are wild animals and window peepers of any kind would have to make one feel strange.
Sapiosexual ... that's a good one! It seems like there could be a lot of pressure involved though. After the initial attraction. ;-)
Shirley--You bring up a heretofore undiscussed point, and that is--when this is finally all over, how many of these Covidiots are we able and willing to forgive? I guess it's kind of along the lines of 45* voters/supporters. Perhaps once things return to Normal, the rush of Joy and Relief will be enough of a salve to help us all.
DeleteI love the idea of like animals cuddling together, like penguins do in a huge mass. (Although I am at war with our squirrels right now, who have cleverly figured out how to access our birdfeeder, despite the huge squirrel baffle we put on it to PREVENT SQUIRREL ACCESS.)
I would be completely enamored with Peeping Tom giraffes. I really would. Sign me up. (And pay for my airfare and accommodations. LOL.)