Sunday, November 20, 2016

In Which The Dept. Cleans House And Debates Fear And Love In The Martial Arts

Act I, scene i. Rick and Nance are in the living room. Nance is on the couch, center, knitting; Rick is in his easy chair, left, folding his laundry. The TV is on. The local news is riffing on the pop news story about Earworms, the songs that get stuck in your head.

Rick: That happened to me yesterday at work. It drove Chad crazy. I kept singing "Kung Fu Fighting."
Nance: (not looking up) That would drive me crazy.
Rick: (making karate chops with a pair of tube socks) But Nance! Come on! It's like the song says--Everybody loves kung fu fighting!
Nance: (raises her eyes only, looks over at Rick) Rick. The lyric is "Everybody WAS kung fu fighting."
Rick: Well...why would everybody do it if they didn't love it?

Act II, scene i. Kitchen. A few days later. Rick and Nance are doing weekend cleaning, mostly Cat Hair Removal, and mostly in preparation for guests. Nance has already dusted four rooms and is gathering cleaning supplies for the bathroom. Rick is on his back on the floor, puzzling over a piece of packing material left under the (years-old) refrigerator.  (Reminiscent of this episode.) His phone is clipped to his belt, and it is playing his extensive and...eclectic music library.

Rick: (singing loudly) You don't own me/I'm not just one of--
Nance: I figured you'd download that.
Rick: Hey, at least I didn't download "Kung Fu Fighting." Did you know everybody loves kung fu fighting?
Nance: (using lyrics) Yeah, and those kicks were fast as lightning.
Rick: (starts singing) Everybody was--
Nance: (more lyrics) In fact, it was a little bit frightening. And there is the flaw in your theory, by the way. How can everybody love kung fu fighting if they are afraid of it?
Rick: Nance. Come on. For the same reason some people love horror movies, haunted houses, surprise packages, gambling, all that stuff. Lots of people love to be scared. They go for the thrill.
Nance: That's true. And valid. I hate all that stuff and I hate that song.


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  1. Very funny post my friend, and guess what I hate that song too, now I have to get it out of my head!

    1. Meredith--Thank you! I will add you to the list of Non-Fans of that song. It's easy to get it out of your head. Listen to something better (and the list of those songs is Infinite!).

  2. Oh, dearest Nance, thank you for this lovely moment of domestic respite. Most welcome after these harrowing post-election days that have left many of us in a total funk.


    1.) When I first read the title of your post, I misread ‘martial’ for ‘marital.’ LOL. But possibly appropriate in its own way.

    2.) My cultural lagunas (= gaps) forced me to resort to YouTube so I could listen to the song with which I was obviously not familiar. What would we all do without Internet, Google and YouTube?

    3.) Honestly, you had me at “Rick is in his easy chair, left, folding his laundry.” If Mr. O. ever folded his laundry, I would immediately submit documentation for his canonization, lol. That said, his vacuuming and dusting skills are awesome, so he gets a reprieve.

    Here’s to a wonderful Thanksgiving and I sincerely hope you do not have to cope with both sides of the political divide! XXOO

    1. Ortizzle--You are most welcome. As you know, I strive to be a Mover On-er in all things, and despite the SN*W ON THE GROUND HERE!! and gale-force winds, I am committed to Moving On with all alacrity. But Vigilantly, rest assured.

      1) I actually worried about that.
      2) I do have several International readers and More Youthful readers, so I had to provide the link. It was a perilous Thing To Do; the song is earworm material.
      3) Rick is tremendous at laundry. He does his own 75% of the time, despite my insistence that I will do it. He is also my prep chef and saute pan washer.
      4) Tgiving is just Rick, me, and the boys (and Zydrunas), and we are all politically like-minded. So are the cats, but they have to be sequestered upstairs. We will be happy and serene; I hope you are likewise.

      Thank you for your kind wishes. I send the same to you, of course! Rest and be happy. XXOO

  3. I do believe the Nance household is VERY similar to the Bug household - much hilarity to be had if we just roll with it.

    Also, the pie eating bunny is just the cutest thing EVER. Really. (I'm just assuming the bunny ate all the pie.)

    1. Bug--The Dept. tries to have fun whenever possible. We know we deserve it.

      (I like that bunny, too. And I meant the caption to convey just that.)

  4. I never liked that song because of the tune, didn't listen to the lyrics really. Now that you've shone a light on the words, I dislike that song even more. Also, I agree, I don't like to be frightened. No fun in that for me.

    1. Ally Bean--Now, some of its lyrics are culturally insensitive, to be sure. I always disliked the song because it was, well, stupid and too "poppy." The lyrics were just inane. The best part is the opening "OH" part. After that, all downhill.

      As for the being frightened or surprised part, I really don't care for either one. I vastly prefer, say in the realm of gifts, getting something I asked for specifically. It's terrible to disappoint anyone, and to have to pretend to like something is a strain and so guilt-inducing.

      The "fun" of horror continues to escape me.

  5. Oh geez Kung Fu Fighting has always driven me nuts! This post made me laugh out loud, thank you!

    1. Bridget--Glad to have provided some laughs for you, truly. Now go listen to a Good Song and forget about KFF. Immediately and forever.

  6. Kung Fu Fighting is a tchotchke of a song. I can take it or leave it.

    My husband will also do the laundry and fold his own, but rarely folds or puts away any other laundry than his. Which can be slightly annoying because he will do loads and loads all in one day, leaving me with a dishearteningly large pile that makes me want to give up before I even start. I tell him that washing and drying are the easy part, the folding and hanging are the most time consuming, but he doesn't believe me. Probably because it is in his own best interest to not believe me.

    Your Thanksgiving sounds calm and lovely (or maybe not so calm with Zydrunas!). We are going to stay in and my son and I will make mashed potatoes from scratch. I think we are having tri-tip, not turkey, though. I have never been a huge fan of turkey, I only like it because of the gravy, which is technically missing the point.

    1. Gina--Perfect description for KFF and others like it. Novelty music, like The Macarena. (Oh no! What have I done, mentioning another earworm!?)

      I'm with you on the actual laundering being the mindless easy part. It's nothing to jam clothes into a machine. Someday, just surprise him and YOU do the machine part:

      Gina: Oh, hey. There are six laundry baskets of clean clothes and towels for you to fold and put away.
      Mr. Helpful: Huh? What now?
      Gina: My, yes. I felt guilty always doing the easy part, so I left it for you this time. You know, like we always discussed?
      Mr. Helpful: But--
      Gina: No need to thank me. It's my pleasure.

      Zydrunas is decidedly NOT calm when he first arrives and realizes that RICK IS HERE HOLY CRAP RICK IS HERE! but he soon settles in. We love our turkey and all the trimmings, especially gravy and dressing/stuffing. Our mashed potatoes will be in attendance also, a treat for the boys who do not make them at home. Enjoy your own Family Version. (And Serenity, in whatever form you can.)

  7. Ha! Great post and great laughs. Thank you. I did refuse to go to the link and be reminded of the song...don't want That worm sticking around. Here's to a peaceful, and tasty, Thanksgiving.

    1. Vera--Oh, thank you, truly, for the compliment. And you are more than welcome for the laughs. It is my pleasure.

      I am still getting reminded of That Song--sigh--because Rick hums or sings bits of it here and there. It's stuck in his head still. Lucky me!

      Thanksgiving peace and goodness to you as well.


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