Friday, November 15, 2013

We Interrupt Regular Programming To Bring You This Special News Report

No tip today, Dearest Readers, thanks to this horrid headache which has taken up residence since
Wednesday night.  I'm presenting instead a sort of Palate Cleanser whilst I wait for my Uninvited Guest to take the Pharmaceutical Hints I keep dropping and leave.  Let's call the following some Sad Reminders Of Our Company here in these United States.

First off is a sign photographed by my nephew Zach, who spied it in his very own high school.  He snapped a photo of it illegally surreptitiously, and sent it via cellphone.  It's glorious in its mystery.

Like you, I wonder.  I wonder at the emphasis of Lights.  I wonder if there is a "/" missing between ALL and NONE.  I wonder if the lights can stay on after school functions.  I wonder why the author didn't just write PLEASE TURN OFF LIGHTS.

This next example appeared on a dessert forum that I happened upon somehow in my travels around the Interwebs.  Someone wanted some ideas for a dessert she could make that did not require sugar or an oven. This answer made me simultaneously laugh and feel true horror at the squalid state of some people's education.  It is cut-and-pasted here exactly:

 Jello and whip cream,fuirt saladfuirt sherbertfreeze a can of any kind of fuirt and serve it in a bowl...crapes and sugur free ice cream..or traffle of jello whip cream fuirt..repeat to the top of the bowel.

I want nothing to do with anything of that last dessert.


  1. Regarding that dessert, I am choosing to believe that the author of that recipe did not speak English as a first language. That is the ONLY explanation I can think of!

  2. Oh, and please take extra special care of yourself. Hope the demons depart soon.

  3. I have a friend I "met" on a weight watchers forum who writes like the dessert person. Yet I know her to be a reasonably intelligent woman living in North Dakota. And I have another online friend who also seems reasonably intelligent, living in Maryland, who could be the dessert person. It's really, really, really bizarre to me - I so want to ask these ladies what's up. With the one I think it's a lack of proofreading (ever), but the other one is a total mystery...

  4. Bug--Some of it is using a cellphone sometimes. Other times it's just plain functional illiteracy. "Freeze a can of fruit and put it in a bowl." Right there is a complete lack of well, a lot of things. I can't countenance any of that. I just can't.

    Karen--Thanks for your concern. I hope so too. It's manageable, but really getting me down. I don't see syntax issues that lead me to believe there is an ESL issue there, but you might have more expertise there.

  5. I applaud you for even coming here with a headache. When I get migraines, I can't look at a computer screen, as it affects my vision more than being painful. Blech. The first time I had one I had no idea what was going on, and went to a movie. Bad idea. Ended up throwing up. I know, TMI. Not a fan of the migraine.

  6. J@jj--Oh, you can save the applause. This headache is what I call the shadow or remnants of a migraine that I had earlier. I can't take anymore meds for it because that will cause a rebound headache. But I can't get rid of the nagging after-headache, the constant throb, the sensitivity to sound, the small bouts of nausea. If I don't get a steroid course from my neurologist, this can turn right back into a real terrorist of a migraine. I got the steroids on Saturday morning. They are helping. But thank you.

  7. Yeepers! I think the intent was 'non school' functions. Maybe.

    I can't believe the dessert one is real. Bowel? The mind reels.


  8. Mary G.--Oh, I do too. But how can I resist teeing off on it? That forum post is so rife with errors in spelling, and lacks punctuation and basic thoughtfulness that it was fair game. 1. Stop posting from a cell phone; 2. Proofread; 3. Education.


Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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