Scotch Tape And Scissors: The Reasons For The Season, And Why You Should Go Find Them Right Now

Pressure Busting Tip #12

Gosh, I hate to throw St. Patsy under the Holiday Bus again, but darn it,

she is the perfect example for today's tip.  My mother had several nicknames in our home.  My father never, ever called her by her real name, which was Patricia or Pat.  When he met her, he called her Doll right away, referencing that song that goes, "Oh, you beautiful doll, you great big beautiful doll...."  Another name he called her which was not so complimentary, but gently chiding, was The Great Procrastinator.  My mother could put things off longer than anyone I knew. (We once hung paper shamrocks on our formerly live Christmas tree. Yes, for St. Patrick's Day.) Christmas was not her best season.  After hosting the family Christmas Eve open house, which usually ended in time for everyone to go to Midnight Mass, she would come home from church, finish cleaning up, and then she and my father (if he was home and/or could stay awake) would wrap all of our Christmas presents.  Later, as each of us got older, we helped.  We would sit back to back, and our mother would hand us each a box.  "That's for Patti!" she would snap.  "That one is Susan's!" she'd command.  And we'd sit there, handing tape and The Good Scissors (one pair) back and forth, lose the pens, be exhausted, and wrap and wrap and wrap.  Sometimes our own gifts if she was really getting tired.  On one memorable year, we ran out of Scotch tape after about three presents.  We used electrician's black tape for a bit, then found some old carpet tape, then no tape at all.  We were horrified.  We had to use curling ribbon and string to keep the packages wrapped.  I thought I would die. Christmas morning always, always had several On The Spot Regifts.  I remember one in particular.  I unwrapped a gorgeous mint green sweater with a band of baby pastels going across the front.  As soon as I lifted it out, my mother said, "No, that's Patti's.  Nance, give that to Patti."  My heart was broken.  I immediately gave it to my sister, but I was loathe to do it.  It's a source of personal pride that I never made that error with my kids.  Then again, I only had two.

It's easy to get flustered when you leave stuff to the last minute, and when you simply don't have your collective shit together.  Now that the boys are gone, I use part of their former room upstairs as Christmas Central.  (At the risk of sounding like Martha Perfect,) I set up a card table to wrap gifts on, have all the necessary supplies there like rolls of wrapping paper, tape, pens, tags, empty gift boxes, and tissue paper.  I pulled over a strong floor lamp so that the lighting is good.  Nearby, folded and ready, is a huge old tablecloth.  I find Pressure Busting Tip #12 a real relaxing and enjoyable and time-saving one. Establish and stock a place for wrapping gifts, then wrap as you go.  Easy, I know, when I'm retired.  But even if you can't wrap them right away, you can put the item in a gift box, write the recipient's name on the outside of the box, stash it under the table, and spread the old tablecloth over.  It will hang down and cover up the boxes until you have a minute to wrap a few.  Sometimes I get in a groove and wrap everything; sometimes I get bored and wrap one or two.  Sometimes Certain Cats make it impossible for me to wrap efficiently, and I have to just use gift bags.  (Which are, by the way, The Best Things Ever.  They are so easy to use, and come in such cute and clever designs. I'm a big fan.)  Another great thing about gift bags:  no tape required.