No Matter How Long It Takes, No Matter How Far, You Will Find It!

Pressure Busting Tip #20

I don't have a funny story today, which is kind of odd, considering that the person who gave me this tip was one of the funniest people I have ever known in my life.  Talk about a good time!  I met Ann online--in a discussion forum twenty years ago--chatting up people whose common interest was the film The Last of the Mohicans, and later, (sigh) Daniel Day-Lewis.  Pretty soon, a core group formed from that, arranged meet-ups, and yada yada yada, Ann and I became close friends.  Although she lived in Florida, thanks to The Interwebs, we could chat often, and we also had marathon phone calls of more than ninety minutes long.  We also exchanged long letters--ten-page booklets of news and politics and oh, anything we thought of.  Her job allowed her to arrange visits to various locales, and I flew out to see her several times.  Her truelife stories were hilarious, and she told them with a light southern accent and just the right sense of timing.  She wrote romances for a couple of publishers, primarily Harlequin, yet she never married.  And all of her books had a good dose of her humor, not something commonly found in that genre, I'd imagine.  Her book money was her fun money, and she once arranged for a theater to show a print of The Last of the Mohicans to a small group of us, twice, as private showings.  As you can tell, she was terrifically generous.  She wasn't just generous with her money, either, although she did set aside funds for her nieces' college educations.  She was generous with her time, her sympathy, her advice, and her ability to listen and understand.  She would arrange wonderful meet-ups, and she and I would share our frustrations when a few people would explain that they couldn't or wouldn't come.  "You know what?"  Ann would say, "It's a question of priorities.  If it's important enough, you'll make it happen.  You'll find a way.  It's as easy as that."

In 2011 after a long string of health problems exacerbated her breast cancer, Ann died in Florida.  I had not seen her for over a year.  The email from her sister was...incomprehensible to me.  Just retired, I had plans to write to Ann and tell her I was ready for anything--let's plan a getaway.  And now...I had to find a way to grieve the loss of a friend who I could not even see.  It took me a year to find a way through it.  I miss her so much, and in a way that is somehow hollow and aching.  It feels very unfair.

Ann lived a very full life.  She had a loyal and loving family, and she had great friends.  She would really do things to excess for the people she loved, yet she made no apologies for it.  She had a way of cutting right to the core of things; she could analyze and she could prioritize.  I'm making one of her favourite sayings into Pressure Busting Tip #20.  If something is important enough to you, you will find a way to make it happen. Maybe that something is having a cup of tea at the end of each December night, you and your spouse, looking at your tree.  Maybe it's stopping for a moment, having some time for a prayer with the kids, then watching as they cross the day off of their Christmas calendars.  Maybe it's a thirty minute soaky bath with a mug of hot cider.  Maybe it's a short walk in the morning to clear your head and get your blood running.  Maybe it's calling your mom and telling her what you're doing that day.  Is it important?  To you?  Find a way.  There is always a way.