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Sunday, January 08, 2006

DoN Takes a Look at Her Cabinet

For some reason, I started thinking about the men I've been obsessed with over the years. There haven't been a whole lot. I get to indulge my little fancies at school by hanging their pictures in my high school classroom where they are sometimes appreciated by my female students and goodnaturedly derided by the males. Here's my first official crush from my earliest days of teaching in the 80s:

Admit it; he's very handsome and nonthreatening. You saw "St. Elmo's Fire" and loved him. He was Billy, the bad boy who just needed someone to take care of him and save him from himself. Then he had the soft-core porn scene with Demi in "About Last Night" and you almost had the big "O" right there in the theater. Sigh. Heavy sigh. So cute. Still is.

Then, in the 90s--1992 to be exact--my mother called me and ordered me to see a film. I was reluctant since it had a bunch of Indian fighting in it, but she told me that the lead actor was "just my type." I went and saw it: "The Last of the Mohicans" provided me with my longest running obsession/crush, Daniel Day-Lewis.

There have been a few dalliances here and there. Notably,
only as Tristan; then only as Braveheart.


Then I discovered

who I'm pretty much still stuck on because Daniel Day-Lewis refuses to remember he is handsome and has good hair and currently looks like this:

In other words, like that smelly weird guy outside your vacation hotel who keeps saying "Havin' a good time? Need any maps tahday? Call ya a taxi? Howsabout some spare change on ya's?" I can't even defend him to my buddy Roger (whose hobby it is to abuse me for my longstanding amour) and say that he's doing this for a movie role because he's not. He just looks this way because he wants to. How sad is that? Doesn't his wife care? I mean, I would, and I'm not even an acquaintance. I've tried to quit Daniel Day-Lewis millions of times, but here's what happens. I show "The Last of the Mohicans" in my English class. And it drags me back in! I know he isn't Hawkeye anymore. I keep having faith that, one night, Daniel Day-Lewis and the missus will watch "The Last of the Mohicans" on DVD and she will turn to him and say, "Hey, Dan. Let your hair grow out for awhile. And let's make an appointment with the plastic surgeon to get that nose straightened out. It's time to re-establish you as a romantic screen hero." Mrs. Day-Lewis would be doing a lot of women and directors a big favor, let me just say it right here and right now.



In the meantime, I'll add . He's young, pretty, British, and aging well. Plus, he has a straight nose and has not yet embarrassed me by wearing bad clothes or a shaved head in public.

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:52 AM

    ALL great eye candy. How is it that everyone remembers "About Last Night"? At least three people have brought that movie up in the last year. I am going to have to watch that thing again. Now that I have a slo-mo function on the DVD I should enjoy it more.

    I know what you mean about DDL, if he is trying to prove the point that he is not mainstream and he has not sold out, well, point made abundantly. Sheesh. Female actors wouldn't dare it.

    I see nary a blond or a red head, and all of your crushes seem to be alive still. I wonder for whom, in the land of the deceased, have you had a "thing." Maybe that's too dark, but my sister has had a thing for Cary Grant that she hasn't been able to shake even though he himself has shaken off this mortal coil.

    Thanks for the post and the lovely pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not too dark. Once I saw Gone with the Wind as a 15 year old, I fell in love with Clark Gable. I also had a thing for Jeffrey Hunter as Jesus in "King of Kings" every Easter. As a matter of fact, I have had a small "thing" for most actors as Jesus. I guess a future blog entry will have to be about my collection of hot Jesuses. (Or is that Jesi???)

    ReplyDelete
  3. But where's George Clooooooney?

    Every other man on this list is a 10 in my book. You have excellent taste!

    ReplyDelete
  4. tiff--oh, thanks. george didn't make the list back when this first ran because he wasn't british, doesn't have long hair, and is such a darling for so many people that including him is cliche. but i do think he is definitely attractive and he is a kindred spirit with me politically in every way. i am, however, sincerely concerned with his weightloss proclivities as of late. he's becoming dangerously skinny, a la nicole richie. if it's not for a movie role, and sources say it's not, then he needs to rethink his regimen, and tout de suite!!

    thanks so much for stopping by The Dept! hope to see you often.

    ReplyDelete

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