PSA--No More Posts Via Email

 

image from LinkedIn

This is simply a quick PSA for those of you who had been getting my posts via email through Mailchimp. That service has ended. Well, it's ended for me, anyway; they're done offering it for free. Since I only have 200+ subscribers and I'm not really a b2b entity, they're breaking up with me.

I'm not aware of any other service that offers a freebie plan, so I guess you'll just have to stop by here and check in once in a while. I'm truly sorry for the inconvenience, especially since I don't publish on any sort of schedule. 

Updated:  I was finally able to reformat my layout and remove the signup for email delivery as well as my defunct Feedburner subscription. Everything should be shipshape now. (Except for the part where you still can't get me via email anymore like before.)

I'll be back soon. 

Getting Over It

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to a New Feature here at the Dept. of Nance, one we like to think of as a sort of Public Service/Therapy Session called Get Over It. I'm sure you'll figure out how it works as we go along, and we encourage you to offer up your own Subjects for Future Treatment, or you can provide your own rendition in Comments.

Let's get on, shall we?

"The Internet is so bougie."

1. Senator Lindsey "Old Lady Fussypants" Graham (R-South Carolina) proudly declared on Meet the Press to moderator Chuck Todd, "I don't email. You can have every email I've ever sent. I've never sent one." Oh, Senator, aren't you clever? And...sad? This past week, my mother, who will be 85 in June, picked up her new iPad. It is her very first foray into the world of technology. She learned how to use email, text messaging, the Internet, and some apps. She delighted in being able to FaceTime with her family members and add birthdays to the calendar. She can listen to Vic Damone on her personal Pandora station. You, however, revel in the fact that you eschew electronic communication as if you are a Puritan church elder who is denying the devil. Oh, Senator Lindsey Graham, Get Over It. Being a Luddite isn't virtuous, it's dumb. You might not send emails, but your staffers do, and those missives carry the imprimatur of your office. So do your Facebook page and your Twitter account. You even have a Web presence, here, and it includes a link to email you. You even have a YouTube page! So, again, Senator, Get Over It. You're sending emails and involved in the age of technology whether you "are" or not.

2. Can everyone check the date right now? We are rounding the bend and within striking distance of April. Yet, Some People are still displaying Christmas Decorations in their yards, on their homes, and in their windows. Hey, Holiday-Challenged Or Lazy Sods, Get Over It! Christmas is past, done, gone, and other holidays have come and gone as well. Even the snow is gone. There is simply no reason for any of this, all of which I photographed while I drove home from the grocery store and in a two-block radius from my home:

At left, a manger scene; Christmas lights are wound all around; they are illuminated most nights.

Confusingly, this Christmas wreath is in contrast to the bouquet of fake spring flowers at the door.

WTF is going on here?  Jolly snowperson out front; Uncle Sam next to the door with the US Flag Heart alongside.

You are hurting my feelings and annoying your neighbors. You are likely prolonging winter. You are devaluing the surrounding properties. This is, in a word, outrageous. What are you waiting for? If you hate this job so much, don't put this crap up in the first place. Winter in NEO is cold and long. Those decorations won't ever, ever take themselves down or put themselves away, and they end up looking pathetic and depressing. No one wants to see this in February, March, or at the rate you are going, April. Get Over It and yank this junk now.  My next-door neighbors just took down their plastic candy canes and inflatables on Sunday, March 22nd.  I thought I would die.

3. Hey, republicans--at least the eleven of you who are NOT running for president--Barack Obama is going to finish out his second term as the President Of These United States Of America. Get Over It. While I know that many of you still cannot do that, let me add that your continued attempts to repeal the Affordable Care Act have passed Ludicrous and are on their way to Psychotic. Since you took over the majority in the House, you have put a vote on the floor almost sixty times in those four years, accomplishing precisely nothing. Yet, the first thing you use in any argument about Democrats being unable to effect legislation is the fact that "they had a supermajority" and yada yada yada. Looks like you're finding out what it's like to deal with a group of people who don't follow in lockstep with The Party all the time. Hate to say I Told You So, but when you courted the teapartiers, you invited disaster. Now, Get Over It. 

Lovin' those Grizzly Mamas and Evangelicals now, aren't you?

Probably some of my Dear Readers could smugly say, "Nance, you should take your own advice and Get Over It as far as these things go." To you I would say pleasantly, "I tried. For a Very Long Time, I have tried. Now my patience is at an end, and Something had to be said. I said it."

Now it is your turn. Who needs to Get Over It? Or would you like to have Your Turn and snark a little at the three I have admonished? Let fly.

pole vaulter image

Rally For Thanksgiving: November Is An Ungrateful SOB And Someone At PBS.org Needs A Tutor

Today, Dearest Readers, I am not Feeling It. November is really Letting Me Down, and this after I have championed it to the hilt. I am sitting pitifully defeated in my bigass chair, encased in fleece and self-pity because

1. It is 29 degrees with a windchill of 18 "real feel" degrees.
2. We are expecting 2 MORE inches of snow beyond what is already ON THE GROUND.
3. I am sick.

This is what happens when you help look after two wee relatives who are flinging germy slobber and snot around. Eff.

But thanks to my PBS Insider Email delivery, I can bravely, albeit weakly (sniff), soldier on and today discuss Foods For Which We Are Thankful.

I know. If this isn't the most ridiculous, nonspecific, goofiest topic ever conceived, the opening sentence will firmly cement for you the idea that some poor intern was simply trying to meet his or her deadline and find a way to present/link to previous recipes. Get ready; here is the first sentence:

Many people have favorite ingredients when they are cooking that you don’t know how you could do without them.

Wow, PBS.org. If that is the standard of your writing, you must have some first semester tenth-graders working part-time after school over there. The article then goes on to exclaim that "In honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, [they] have compiled a list of ten foods that [they] are thankful for this year", and that they have "included a few suggestions for recipes that you can make with each item on the list." I know you can't wait--neither could I--so let's take a look at those favourite ingredients that we simply cannot do without, according to PBS.org:

1. Eggs
2. Carrots
3. Mini Chocolate Cakes
4. Peppers
5. Sushi
6. Cheesecake
7. Sandwiches
8. Pesto
9. Beef Bourguignon
10. Refreshing Cocktails

I am struggling mightily to come up with a recipe in which Beef Bourguignon is an ingredient. Ditto Sushi, Sandwiches, and Refreshing Cocktails. I suppose you could toss Mini Chocolate Cakes and Cheesecake into ice cream for something, or you could use them in a trifle or parfaits. Let's look at what the accompanying recipes are for Beef Bourguignon right at the source: Coq au Vin and Cream of Asparagus Soup! Why, of course! Duh.

Please don't tell the Fine People at PBS.org that I have done without all of those "ingredients" for weeks at a time. A dozen eggs even now languish in their carton here in the Dept. fridge. Two dozen, actually. Luckily, they are free-range, Amish farm eggs, and will last until Thanksgiving pie and dressing preparation. And pesto season has been over for aeons now. (Okay, months.) And I refuse to buy someone else's.

So, what are some of My Favourite Ingredients That I Simply Cannot Do Without?

1. Onions
2. Potatoes
3. Real Butter
4. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
5. Balsamic Vinegar
6. Pasta
7. Extra Sharp Cheddar
8. Dried Thyme
9. Wine
10. Chicken on the Bone

Keep me company by hauling out your snark.  You and I both know that PBS can--and should--do better.  And what are your Must-Have Ingredients?

image

A Matter Of Opinion

In addition to flinging my opinions about for free here at the Dept., I've been getting compensated for them for years now from the ever-curious people at Harris Polls, a branch of the Nielsen Family. Every so often, in one of my designated inboxes, an invitation appears for me to participate in one of their polls. I get to click and click and click away on various topics such as gas stations, cat litter, financial institutions, grocery store shelf placement, oil companies, floor sweepers, you name it. The compensation doesn't come directly in the form of cash; I earn reward points that translate into gift cards. I get Amazon cards, which are, to me, the same as cash.

Recently, the Harris Polls released the results of a survey I was not invited to participate in. From March 12-17, over two thousand adults were surveyed regarding annoying behaviors of others in various situations. The full results are here. The behaviors themselves are not surprising. They are the same old tired things that keep annoying everyone. What I find enlightening and amusing are the breakdowns in demographics. As a Baby Boomer, I am positively delighted that the Gen Xers are so tightly wound. They were the ones who blamed every little thing on us and were going to save the universe. The Millennials, who present themselves as so coolly hip and tolerant and laid-back that they might be close to slipping into a coma, aren't all that different from the rest of us.

Let's take a look at just a few of the categories and tease out what I feel is particularly interesting or germane to a discussion regarding gender and age.

LOUD MOBILE PHONE TALKERS VS. CONSTANT CHECKERS

By Generation, Gender, Children in Household

"For each pair of common annoyances below, please choose the one that annoys you the most."

	Total	Generation				Gender		Children in HH
		Millennials (18-36)	Gen Xers (37-48)	Baby Boomers (49-67)	Matures (68+)	Male	Female	Yes	No
	%	%	%	%	%	%	%	%	%
People who have loud conversations on their mobile phones in public places	65	59	66	67	74	67	63	60	67
People who repeatedly check their mobile phones while having an in-person conversation	35	41	34	33	26	33	37	40	33

I love how the perception of rudeness rises as the age of the person does. Notice, however, that more women than men do not feel that this is as bad as someone ignoring them during an in-person conversation. As I looked at the results, I noticed this common factor. Women seem to rate lower anything that compromises direct communication. Personally, this question would have been tough for me. In the end, I'd have gone with the second one. I find it hideous to be second fiddle. I am there. Put your phone on vibrate, in a perfect world.

ALL CAPS VS. OVERLY TERSE EMAILS

By Generation, Gender, Children in Household

"For each pair of common annoyances below, please choose the one that annoys you the most."

Base: U.S. Adults

	Total	Generation				Gender		Children in HH
		Millennials (18-36)	Gen Xers (37-48)	Baby Boomers (49-67)	Matures (68+)	Male	Female	Yes	No
	%	%	%	%	%	%	%	%	%
Emails written ALL IN CAPS	60	67	59	57	49	62	57	63	58
Overly brief or terse emails	40	33	41	43	51	38	43	37	42

The age breakdown in this is predictable. Millennials hate the all caps email. "Why are you shouting at me? Don't you know anything about Netiquette?" they probably mutter through their clenched teeth while tapping their stylus against their Starbucks cup. Everyone else has moved on to more pressing concerns, down through the ages, and the Matures, who are the Usual Suspects, are still trying to figure out what ALL CAPS means or why it would be an annoyance to anyone. Matures really dislike the overly brief emails which are devoid of explanation, detail, or newsy, helpful items. Millennials totally get the no-frills emails. Who uses email anyway? Can't you just text? Ugh. Men in general are Big Fans. The less you say, the better. But women are bothered more by the bare, spare email. We want more. Be thorough, communicate fully. Tell us everything.  I dislike both of these intensely.  If asked to choose one, I'd rather have all in caps.  At least I'd have what I need to know and be able to avoid more back and forth with a bad communicator.

"REPLY ALL" OVERUSE VS. NO REPLY AT ALL EMAIL

By Generation, Gender, Children in Household

"For each pair of common annoyances below, please choose the one that annoys you the most."

Base: U.S. Adults

	Total	Generation				Gender		Children in HH
		Millennials (18-36)	Gen Xers (37-48)	Baby Boomers (49-67)	Matures (68+)	Male	Female	Yes	No
	%	%	%	%	%	%	%	%	%
People who overuse "reply all" on emails	51	41	54	54	64	55	48	46	54
People who don't reply to emails	49	59	46	46	36	45	52	54	46

This one is easy for me, because I have zero trouble deleting emails. I learned it from my former colleague Roger. He simply looks at the subject line, then the sender. From there, if you cannot gauge the likelihood of its importance to you, then you are incompetent. We called this "The Pink Tape System." One year, near the end of school, an email appeared in everyone's inbox with the subject line PINK TAPE. The sender was a particularly ditzy special ed. teacher. Roger said that anyone who read that email was an idiot. I miss Roger.  He was good for me.

Anyway, my point--and I do have one--is that I would easily respond "the non-repliers" to this question. It was a toughie for everyone else, though; it almost split evenly half and half. The Millennials don't care about the "reply alls", however; they either don't use email much, or they are so used to collaborative work that they send emails as a group anyway. The Matures really hate it, though. Let me tell you why. Tons of Matures still don't get how email works. So, when they fire off an email to Bessie, and they mention how, at the last Reunion, Norm and Cora looked real fat, they don't realize that Norm and Cora are on the email list, too. And that they hit Reply All instead of Reply. And now Norm and Cora know how fat Eunice thinks they look. And so does every member of the class of 1933. And once again, women are more irked by not hearing from someone than hearing from everyone. That's why women are great communicators, for the most part. We like to keep the channels of communication open and moving. How many men are on your blogroll? Just asking.

I'm including this last one because...well, you'll see.

WORD MISUSE VS. UNSOLICITED EDITING

By Generation, Gender,  Children in Household

"For each pair of common annoyances below, please choose the one that annoys you the most."

Base: U.S. Adults

	Total	Generation				Gender		Children in HH
		Millennials (18-36)	Gen Xers (37-48)	Baby Boomers (49-67)	Matures (68+)	Male	Female	Yes	No
	%	%	%	%	%	%	%	%	%
Misuse of common words (e.g., there/they're/their, its/it's, overuse of "literally")	57	62	54	57	54	54	60	57	57
Unsolicited grammar/wording "editors"	43	38	46	43	46	46	40	43	43

Percentages may not add up exactly to 100 percent due to rounding

Hey! If everyone hates all of these Language errors, then why do they persist? The Millennials' eyes are rolling permanently to the back of their heads! We Boomers still aren't over it. And, as a Woman, I am about to Lose It.

Basically, people are bugging the Crap out of me. And you. Even when we are Mature, we will still suffer the annoyance of others. The nice thing is, I will be paid in Amazon cards to tell people what I think about it.

In reality, not a whole lot bothers me these days. Most annoyances are petty and short-lived. I can usually think of something that balances them out, or, as a friend of mine always says, "I just play Mozart in my head." In my case, it's usually Rachmaninoff, but you get the idea. If something is bothersome or annoying to you, feel free to get it out of your system in Comments.

Mothering In The 21st Century via Microsoft Outlook With A Side Of Basho

On a fairly regular basis, my eldest son Jared takes time from his busy workday and corresponds with me from his desk.  You all remember Jared, co-author of the relatively shortlived blog Stuff On Our List, where we took turns making random lists of things and then commenting upon them.  The blog is still extant, though dormant; perhaps one day we'll take it up again.

But I digress.

This correspondence between us, via email, is largely initiated by him and takes the form of a Haiku Throwdown.  One morning, I sent him a quick email about the Cubs trading wacko pitcher Carlos Zambrano (a favourite of ours for sheer entertainment value) to Ozzie Guillen's Marlins.  He responded: 

You are on your shit
Today with all of the sports.
Nice work outta you.

How’s your matchup looking this week?

He's talking about our NBA Fantasy League, and as this was early in our enterprise and I was, as I am wont to do, obsessing over it and hating the learning curve, I returned:

I am looking for
Someone else to take my team.
I’m not having fun.


It is like a job.
Too much stress and follow-up.
I’d rather consult.

Needless to say, he had none of that.  We moved on from there, and like most moms, I can't even stop nagging via the Interwebs or in verse:

On another note:
Did you leave all those cookies
To rot in your car?


And I keep at Dad
To pack up some leftovers
As lunch for you guys.

I have probably
Enough lunch stuff in the fridge
For at least a week.

Bless his heart, Jared at least keeps his sense of humour (but really, you should see all the crap in this man's car!), and I get this:

No. Cookies half gone.
Noah liked them and had some.
They are delicious.


Imma tell that man
That I want more ham salad.
Enough for a week?


I bet that y'all have
Some flyass dinners that make
Bombass leftovers.

I really do make some flyass dinners.  Y'all would love 'em.  Noah--one of the housemates--can vouch for my cookies.  And my ham makes Bombass Ham Salad.  Just sayin'. 

Every once in a while, I have to get on Jared about his accuracy.  I don't nitpick too terribly often, but accuracy is important, and you know how we Defenders are.  Once, I felt kind of lousy about the nit I picked, so this brief flurry of email occurred:

Me:

Hey. Don’t you just hate
How these retired idiots
Nitpick all your shit?

Three minutes later from Jay:

Sometimes it’s good though
Or I might start to think that
I might know something.

Touché.

I've Got Mail--And It Tickles

According to this study, U.S. Americans are quite taken with email. Some of us check it at work (60%), some of us get up in the middle of the night to check it (36% of women, 44% of men), and 83% of us even check it while on vacation. And 52% of us have at least two or three email accounts to check!

That's a lot of email, everyone.

But I love it. I love email. I love the ease and immediacy of it. I love getting up in the morning during the summer, having my coffee, wandering by the computer and turning it on and bringing up my email. I love watching Outlook Express flicker to life and seeing the boldface font scroll down the open pane, announcing my emails: comments on my blogs! my daily notice from Political Wire! my Word of the Day! and, if I'm lucky, some chatty emails from friends, former students, and my sisters who live in neighboring towns. Once in a while there will be a smart bit of humor or incisive editorial from my uncle in Gettysburg, a fellow Dem and former English teacher who knows what piques my interest. And, sometimes there will be little glints of gold--those unintentional hoots that happen when someone sends me something that hits me just right and makes my day.

My friend Leanne is great for those. She lives in Maryland and we don't see each other very often, maybe once a year. She gets bored with email, (too much effort to type everything) and for weeks at a time, she will maintain what I call Email Silence. Then, I have to send her a snarky missive and threaten her. Not long ago, she casually emailed me and told me that she and her husband were going out to dinner to meet her son's quite-possibly-future in-laws. She promised to report back with all the details. I waited and waited with bated breath. Nothing. Finally, I could stand it no longer. I emailed her and asked. And waited some more. Here is her reply:
Dinner was fine. I wasn't wild about the stuffed shrimp but everyone else seemed to enjoy themselves ok.

How can you not love her?

Every once in a while my sister Susan can give me a giggle, too. She's one of those people who emails exactly like she talks, which is how I email, too. (Those of you who get my emails are probably thinking 'yeah, that's true. Her emails go on and on and on...!') She had jotted me a quick email including this gem (Oh, and wait till you see her term for "treadmill," very apt):

Ballsy full-bodied workout done and 1 mile on the dreadmill. I feel better and have more energy. Several of my girlfriends have told me that my ass was looking real good.... My ass isn't my problem area. Sigh.

My only reply was can I use part of this email on my blog?

Last Year at the Dept. of Nance: The Alaskan Adventure Part IV