I am also not the parker who sits idling in the middle of the lane, waiting for someone to pull out so that I can pull into that spot. That behaviour frosts my cupcakes to no end. Why must you have that spot? Is it climactically perfect? Are its coordinates your lucky number? Or are you just a jerk?
Here's another thing that gets me: designated parking for "special" people. Mother-to-Be spots. Family Only spots. Spots for Veterans. I'm sorry, but what? When I was pregnant, and hugely so, I walked up three flights of stairs to a third-period study hall five days a week. And my school covered an entire city block, so I did a lot more walking than from a parking lot to a store. My doctor never suggested I walk less. And why would a Family need a special spot? Do mothers and fathers no longer tell their kids to hold hands and stay with Mom and Dad, that a parking lot is Just As Dangerous As A Street? That was Standard Operating Procedure for our family everywhere we went (with no special parking spots, either). A special spot for a Veteran seems condescending and ridiculous to me. How about that business really honors their service and gives them ten percent off every purchase, every day? I park in the Mother-to-Be and Family spots every so often when I'm feeling snotty. (Not the Veteran spot--stolen valour.)
On Friday I had to make a trip to the warehouse club, and you know how those parking lots are. It's a free-for-all, and most people are driving bigass SUVs and up-armored urban assault vehicles. I drive a Prius plug-in, and it was like I was driving in a canyon, the place was so crowded. I finally saw a parking spot, but no! some selfish snot parked astride two spaces. I drove farther on and parked, but I was so irked by this moron's selfishness. Even if it were an accident, why not, upon getting out and seeing what a horrible job he did, get back in the car and park it correctly?
I felt the need to Avenge This Wrong, so on my way in I grabbed a huge cart from the cart return and parked it carefully--broadside--against the rear of the offending car. That way, the idiot knew it was on purpose; he had to move the cart before he could open his hatchback to unload his own cart; he had to deal with two big carts; and he was inconvenienced, too.
It made me feel pretty damn good, I have to say. Later, when I told Rick of my Parking Lot Coup, he said, "I just worry about your safety when you do stuff like this. Especially when you're by yourself." He acts like I do Stuff Like That all the time.
I don't, by the way. But every so often, I like to...rebalance the scales in my world. Don't you?
Those allotted spots don't bother me too much these days; particularly when I remember what a nightmare it was too wrangle a baby carrier or toddler in and out of the car. What frosts MY cupcakes has to do with the curbside delivery spots. I try to do a great majority of my shopping that way these days. Generally, there are only 2-3 designated spots - usually near the door for the convenience of the employee doing the delivery - and it never fails, I will pull into the parking lot and at least one (or more) is taken by someone who obviously is not there for curbside delivery since they aren't in their car. The other day I had to wait at the bottom of the parking lot until they came out of the store before I could park and claim my delivery.
ReplyDeleteGigi--Closer spots don't minimize any baby/toddler wrangling in and out of the car. Certainly, they make the walk shorter, but that's about it. At some point, parents have to teach their kids how to be careful in parking lots.
DeleteI would be equally frosted if I used curbside pickup and saw someone had camped out in that space for in-store shopping. That's spectacularly selfish and calls for some Parking Lot Avenging. I'm sure you can think of some suitable retaliations (I will always fall back on the Cart Block Method, and you can use as many carts as you deem necessary), and I would enthusiastically back you should you call upon them.
No, I don't, but it doesn't mean I don't want to. LOL
ReplyDeleteDee--Maybe you should! It does wonders for the mood and attitude; I can attest to that.
DeleteFrost my cupcakes - ha. That made me chuckle. I dislike it when someone parks in the middle of two spots. Why? I do occasionally take matters into my own hands and Coach would say EXACTLY the same thing . . . "I worry about you."
ReplyDeleteErnie--Ohio (aka Texas-on-Erie) is a permitless concealed carry state as of last year. Rick's concern is a legitimate one. I should probably think about that more often.
Delete"Parking Lot Avenger" ... I have visions of you with a mask and cape on LOL
ReplyDeleteJill--I do, too. But that would probably be unwise. I like to do my thing subtly, without attracting undue attention. I'm not in it for the glory, you know? ;-)
DeleteAs you know, I'm a TERRIBLE parker. However, even I will get back in the car & redo it if I'm taking up more than my space. Mike worries about me too because I will gesticulate toward other drivers on the road if they're being dumb. Fortunately my current commute doesn't involve an interstate so I don't have to awaken the dudgeon very often.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I want cupcakes.
Bug--As I mentioned above, Ohio is a permitless concealed carry state. I don't invite road rage if I can help it. I've become a more patient driver in my old age (of course, I have all the time in the world, usually, to get places).
DeleteI'm a nervous backer-outer sometimes, so I prefer taking a faraway parking space. Perhaps, as a terrible parker, you might like to take faraway spots, too. I appreciate your redos, and so does everyone else.
Do not get me started on cupcakes, which I always find dry and disappointing. But do go right ahead and indulge.
I need a designated spot, the one with the wheelchair on it in blue, here in Ontario. Probably the same in Ohio, yes? I can't walk more than about 40 feet at once. Our designated spots used to be right across the driveway from the front door. So, our grocer redid the parking lot. There are now six spots for grocery pickup, right in front of the door where the handicapped signs used to be. The actual handicapped spots have been reduced to two, and one outside of them for expectant mothers, our only other designated spot, both placed beyond the pickup spots. I grab a grocery cart to lean on while I struggle into the store. And I am also challenged to dodge the pickup cars backing up to leave, plus, often, the grocery girl with her huge and unwieldy double layer cart full of groceries to be picked up. I have been known to use strong language.
ReplyDeleteI guess I could order my groceries and pick them up, using one of these handy spots. But, buying the groceries is one of my outings, recreation and entertainment as well as the ability to choose peppers and meat myself. (The girls who do the on line choosing go at warp seven speed, and if they ever check an expiry date, I have not seen them doing it. Note that my SIL just pointed out to me that our Diet Coke cans expired in September of 2022. Would it have occurred to you to check the pop cans? Date is in six point type on the bottom of the can).
Regarding the pregnancy and mother-with-baby spots, I am with you to an extent. The designated spot in our grocery store is wider than normal, I surmise to allow the mother to extract baby in carrier or toddler or both. Frankly, I have never seen a mother in one; in our parking lot, the spot sits, empty, while I try to find a spot anywhere close to the door that is wide enough to allow me to swing my door wide open as I have to have it to allow my bad leg room to swing out. And, having found such a space and used it, I frequently come back and find that a new car has pulled in next to me, tightly, and I can't open the door wide enough to get back in easily.
The angled parkers, I believe, do so to try to prevent scratches on their paint from someone (me, for example) bumping the side of their car with the door when they swing it out to the second notch. Such people are welcome to do so, in my estimation, if they do it at the outer edge of the parking lot where there are lots of free spaces to use. But only then.
Oh my, you hit my 'on' button. But then, you often do. If we had concealed carry in Ontario, I would carry a water pistol, dreaming of squirting a squirt.
Mary--Yes, we have handicapped spaces, and I often have to make use of them with my mother in tow for her many appointments. That is, unless I drop and pick her up at the doorways, and then I park as usual.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you about choosing my own produce and meat. And yes, when I was buying soda for Rick, I checked the expiration dates. I do that often with cheeses, too.
The Family spots that I have run across were simply standard spots close by the establishment, and they were not wider. I do think that would be a nice idea.
I'm sorry that your grocery store has reconfigured to make your life more difficult. Maybe you should speak to the manager about it and possibly come to some sort of resolution. I hate to think of you struggling just because you want to do your own shopping.
Now I want to add a squirt gun to my Avenger Arsenal. Rick will not be happy about that. LOL
This sounds like the ideal form of vengeance! No people or property were harmed, but a jerk was inconvenienced. Good work, Nance!
ReplyDeleteThe specially designated parking spots interest me as well. I suppose I can find a way to explain to myself why mothers-to-be and families might need special parking, and perhaps the veteran spots are intended to be a way to increase the number of spots available for those who might have mobility issues? Although you raise very good points about each of these spots. What annoys me most are the spots for compact cars or electric vehicles. I don't know WHY they annoy me, but they really, really do.
Life...Wife--Oh, thank you.
DeleteThe compact car spots that I've seen are smaller than regular spots. Maybe they are a way to fit more spots in a lot, thereby maximizing space?
Your mention of an electric vehicle spot reminds me of when our new high school was built. In order to get federal funds, lots of energy-efficient things had to be included, along with other requirements. When the staff parking lot was done, it had two spots for Energy Efficient Vehicles Only. I drove a hybrid, so I was happy to claim one of those up-close spots for myself. One other teacher drove a teeny smart car and arrived way early, so that spot was always taken. Well, imagine my dismay one day when I pulled into the parking lot and found an enormous truck in "my" spot. I didn't make an issue of it, but that bigass truck kept parking there for a couple of weeks. Finally, I went to the office and asked one of the principals about it. He said the designated spots were unenforceable, and that they just had to provide them. I found out that the truck driver was a real conservative republican ass who was just being, well, a real conservative republican ass.
I didn't give him the satisfaction of mentioning it. I just parked elsewhere.
Now that I have all the time in the world, it doesn't bother me as much.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder what will happen in the future when all the electric cars will want the plug in spots!
Ellen--Having so much time really does make a difference, doesn't it? For me, however, it wasn't a matter of being in a hurry. It was more of a question of Common Human Courtesy. You and I both know how much that has eroded in the past 6 years. Sometimes, I think people need to be reminded that it's just not Their World Alone.
DeleteWe'd all want the charging spots if they were free, let me tell you!
I call these types of activities Small Victories, and relish the times I can accomplish them! And do NOT get me started on special parking places for Families and Expectant Mothers. Veterans, OK, but I agree with you overall. But the other groups - PUH-LEEZE.
ReplyDeleteBridget--Yes, Small Victories! They might not make a huge difference to the world at large, but at the moment, they make a big difference to me, and hopefully, they send a message to the individual or establishment I've targeted.
DeleteThe ones who get me are the ones with sports cars who purposely take up two spots so no one can scratch their cars. Worse yet is when they do it in handicapped park spaces and without a hang tag. This happened often enough at a college where I was taking my husband for speech therapy after his stroke. They have very few handicapped spaces to begin with so I left a note on the car saying if I ever saw it again taking up two handicapped spaces I was going to report it to the Patrol and they will issue you not one but two tickets. At the time those tickets were $100 each and that was the end of his parking his car there or anywhere close to the doors. He went to the far end of the lot where few people park. Felt good!
ReplyDeleteJean--You know, my son Sam is a car enthusiast. He has two sports cars--one he built/restored himself--and he drives both around often. But he is also a kind, empathetic person and not a jerk. He parks far away and not like an idiot. It can be done. Without threats.
DeleteI'm glad you did some Parking Lot Avenging and got results. People like that need to be called out on their bullshit. Way to go!
I don't know. I guess I try not to let car things bother me, either on the road or in parking lots. I sort of assume people who are being jerks are being jerks for a reason (they're in an emergency, their life is complicated, they have a terrible personality) and I can't let it ruin my day. I'm human, so sometimes I get a bit hepped up, but I just remind myself that it won't impact my life in any way.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do find myself seriously annoyed with people who leave shopping carts willy-nilly in parking lots, so I do have a lot of work to do on my zen approach to cars.
NGS--Oh, I am constantly working to preserve my Zen. It's not that Car Things bother me in general; it's that there is this insidious erosion of Common Human Courtesy, and that car in the parking lot was a perfect example of it. And then I built a head of steam about parking lots and then off I went.
DeleteAnd then I was done. My Avenging was a good thing, and it made me happy.
I don't mind the allotted, special spots (I probably wouldn't have used them back in the day) but, I Do and I will say it here for all to see and read: Loathe people who take up two spots. They should have flat tires and cold sores for life. It's rude, totally rude.
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing your part Nance; I would love a photo of your Avenger Costume. :)
BB Suz--Inconsiderate parkers really do need some sort of Cosmic Payback for their selfishness. Eternal cold sores, perpetual hangnails--you name it. Absent that, I'll continue to do my part. My costume that day was skinny jeans, a boho top, and Steve Madden slip-ons. ;-) No cape.
DeleteHahaha. I'm with you 100% on being the Parking Lot Avenger. I have similar Parking Lot Pet Peeves. I would never drive around for ages looking for a spot closer to the door! Even if it's freezing cold with shitty weather. That's throwing away useful exercise time, lol. I do agree with Rick's advice: too many armed assholes out there. So I actually rarely do anything that I am contemplating, which is often quite evil, because… Texas! I actually deliberately park quite far away from the entrance to a store because I usually have choices that allow me to park the way I always prefer: face out so I can just drive forward when I leave instead of having to back out with little or no visibility. This is not because there are so many people who drive BATs (= Big Ass Trucks) that completely block my view if I have to back out of a space. I'm talkin' trucks with special mega-tires that are literally bigger than me. Geez!
ReplyDeleteHandicapped spots: I do feel for those who really need one and there aren't any available. That said, I can't tell you how many times I have seen apparently able-bodied folks (traveling alone) spring out of their vehicles after parking in one of those spots. Of course, they have those little handicapped tags that you can hang from the car mirror, but I am certain that, in most cases, they don't have some sort of 'invisible handicap' and are just taking advantage of a family member who needs this, but who obviously isn't traveling with them.
Mr. O. has some really interesting revenge incidents that he perpetrated decades ago when he was still living in Mexico, where finding a parking spot anywhere was a daily challenge. One of them involved a guy who literally parked behind him, perpendicular to his car, when he was parked facing a fence which left his car completely trapped. After waiting for nearly an hour, he found a pay phone and called a friend to come get him and to also bring some super glue. They filled all the key holes with super glue, lol. This was way back before remote devices were used and you had to use a key to open your car door. He and his friend hung out at a safe distance for a while, and were soon rewarded by watching the cretin who parked behind him yelling and screaming.
The fear of getting caught also keeps me from acting out any get-even fantasies. So many parking lots these days have cameras all over the place. But your revenge was very nicely played: a minor annoyance that at least gave you some sense of payback without incurring too much risk.
typo: "not because" in 1st paragraph = "because" ... lol.
DeleteOrtizzle--Ohio is now Texas-on-Erie; our gun laws are pretty much the same. In red states the answer is always More Guns And Easier Access To Them. (Unless it is an NRA Conference, then of course, you may not be armed. Sigh.)
DeleteMr. O took Parking Lot Avenging to a whole other level. How did he ever get his car out after that?
I like to pull forward out of a parking spot, too, but I don't often do it unless I'm way, way out and have a clear view. Parking lots are treacherous anymore. I don't want to lose the whole front end of my car.
When I see someone taking two spots, I wonder whether, when they parked, another car was over the line and forced the situation upon them, and then the other car left and now all you see is the one. Could be, especially if it is a crowded parking lot. If it's a sport car, I assume that they are just a jackass. I like your solution!
ReplyDeleteJ--I'm sure that happens once in a while. I avoid that scenario because it creates a domino effect--pretty soon, everyone is parking incorrectly in that row because of one jerk. In my scenario, it was so egregious that I can't imagine that was the case. At any rate, it behooves the parker to mind the lines and park correctly, period. I think my solution was a good one, too.
DeleteWhat is the Standard Hero Ensemble for Parking Lot Avenger? My Beef is when someone questions someone using a Disabled spot, since, many Disabilities are not necessarily visibly evident and anyone's Medical Condition or Disability is nobody else's business. A Young Friend of ours was a Disabled Veteran Amputee, he looked Young, Fit and Whole in long Pants and with long Sleeves. He often had Old People confront him when he parked in his Handicap Spot, even tho' his License Plate clearly dictated Qualification. He had good humor about it and just raised his Slacks and Sleeves to show his Prosthetics and significant War Scars... just to see the look on their embarrassed Faces. There are many reasons people may need to park closer, but I agree with you, that sometimes the Specialty Parking and Privileges get out of hand and seem unnecessary... and many folks do have a sense of entitlement these days about special treatment or needing recognition constantly. The Man is a 100% Disabled Veteran who Served 39 Years, but he said that tho' nobody ever Thanked them for their Service when it counted, like after Vietnam for example, now it's being overdone and often seems obligatory and not all that genuine, to the point he feels rather patronized at times and doesn't know how to respond.
ReplyDeleteBohemian--I had a colleague who had only one kidney and had a liver transplant to boot. She had a tag and used it. She got heat a few times for parking in the blue spots, but she was always gracious about it. Same with a friend who has COPD. Why can't people just mind their own business if the car has the requisite permit?
DeleteServing 39 years is Above And Beyond, for sure. He has my gratitude for his service!