Scene opens on Rick and Nance in the car. They are driving to go pick up their taxes at the accountant's office.
Nance: Why are you going straight? Why didn't you turn left? This is an odd way to go.
Rick: I don't know the best way to go, honestly. There is no good way to go.
Nance: Hm. This just seems--Oh look! Cows! How wonderful!
Rick: (turns his head toward the window at the cows) Mooooo!
Nance: (big sigh; disapprovingly) Cows hate that, you know. They hate being mooed at.
Rick: They do? How exactly do you know that?
Nance: Oh, Rick. Everyone knows that. It's disrespectful and demeaning. It's...it's like going up to a Native American and (raises one hand, palm out) saying "how."
Rick: But how do you know that?
Nance: I would think the analogy I just gave you is example enough. Good heavens.
Rick: Okay, but what if a little kid was in the car with us and said Moo to the cows? What would you think then? You'd think it was cute.
Nance: It would depend. If it were a sweet little kid, I'd probably think it was cute. But if it were some mouthy snotty kid who is always yelling and being a brat, I'd hate it. And I'd tell him the same thing I just told you.
Rick: Wow. What are you trying to say?
End Scene.
HAHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are too funny.
I say Moo to the cows, but do it softly, so they rarely even hear me. I hope that's ok.
Someone told me recently, that cows react positively to good music and singing. Maybe you guys should try that the next time you encounter them.
BB Suz--Why not just say Hello?
DeleteRick and I would probably disagree about what kind of music to play to the cows, too. As the Cow Expert, I would win, but the tediousness of having to explain why my choices are better would make it all not worth it. Even for a blog post.
Subtle. Very. After I can keep a straight face, I may just try this out. On someone near and, um, deer.
ReplyDeleteMary--I think you have it in you. After all, look at your adept punning.
DeleteThey do hate that. I'm glad you pointed them out. It's an international law that you have to point and say "cows!" when you pass. (Or "horses!" Or "dog!" if it's a particularly cute specimen. So. All dogs.)
ReplyDeleteSuzanne--Thank you for confirmation. I've always been incredibly fond of cows, so I'm unreasonably excited when I see any. Not so much with horses. Now dogs, yes. Especially dogheads sticking out of cars, which always make me happy. And nothing can beat a dachshund running at top speed.
DeleteI love coming onto a country scene with cows in a field. If you park near the fence they will come investigate and then you could ask them straight out if they are offended by Rick's mooing at them.
ReplyDeleteJean--I have an enormous affection for cows. Around here, they always seem to be in fields bordered by steep culverts, so simply wandering over to them is no easy feat. I do like your strategy; however, I think it's unnecessary. Everyone knows they hate being mooed at. ;-)
DeleteROFL Sheep ..............same deal.
ReplyDeleteDee--I think it's entirely fair to give the same deal to all farm animals. I will, however, admit to hollering in general at Canada geese when they are on my property. Hate those things.
DeleteSo funny. I like your commitment to the cows' feelings. Oh how many road trips have we been on when cow spotting and horse spotting helped pass the time, sort of. I do believe there is an acceptable Age limit for mooing at cows, and I think Rick has surpassed it.
ReplyDeleteErnie--And I think farmers should post signs to that effect, like the signs at theme parks indicating the safe height for riders: IF YOU ARE TALLER THAN THIS, YOU MAY NOT MOO AT COWS.
DeleteI whistle at birds. Is that wrong? I think Rick can moo if he wants, as long as it is in a respectful and not mocking way.
ReplyDeleteEllen--It's not so much wrong as it is dangerous. How do you know what you're saying? Perhaps you're using a warning or danger call. Perhaps you're inviting amorous overtures. Maybe you're even making an offensive joke about someone's mother. Whistle at your own risk, I guess.
DeleteIs it possible to "respectfully" Moo at a cow when one is 63 years old? Especially when one just says the word Moo rather loudly? I would argue No. But I shall pass on your caveats to Rick and see what he can come up with.
Awww, I think it's nice that people get excited to see farm animals. It's sort of a sign of the inner child in them!
ReplyDeleteNGS--It's one thing to get excited. It's entirely another thing to be rude. This is what I am trying to impart to my husband, and your indulgent comment is not helping. ;-)
DeleteWe pass horse farms on the way to our vet, and every single time we drive by one, I slow the car, roll down the window, and yell hello. I know it's ridiculous, but the dogs and I enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteI finally got to see Daffodil Hill at Lake View Cemetery. It did not disappoint; so beautiful. We walked all around after taking the required picture of the hills. Love going there, especially b/c they allow you to walk your dog. And in fact, that is where I've told my kids I wish to be buried (hopefully, 30 years or so in the future!).
Elle--Please tell me that your dogs are hanging their heads out the windows, making others happy with their mere presence. I do so love a doghead poking out of a car window. It always makes my day. And I bet the horses appreciate the greeting. I'm sure it gets lonely out there, and horses are not typically very conversational with one another that I've observed.
DeleteI'm so glad you got to go to Lake View and see the daffodils. And that it was a dog experience as well. I've yet to go--how ridiculous!--but one day, I'm sure.
I love horses, and am thankful that my daughter never fails to point them out to me. (Unless she is asleep or something)
ReplyDeleteJ--I appreciate horses, but they aren't as special to me as cows are. Still, there will always be something a bit thrilling in seeing a horse run--even a little bit--in a field or paddock, all by itself, seemingly just for the joy of it.
DeleteYou are hilarious. I wish I could remember & document some of the conversations Mike & I have - I regularly crack myself up. Ha!
ReplyDeleteP.S. We are always quoting from Twister when we see cows, "we've got cows!"
Bug--I comfort myself knowing that no actual cows were harmed in the making of Twister.
DeleteOur family yells, "Debris! Debris!" from that movie. They all know better than to refer to any Cows In Distress, real or CGI.
(Now I'm thinking about the late Philip Seymour Hoffman, who was in that film. What a loss! I loved him in Flawless and Magnolia. I wonder if I can stream Flawless anywhere.)
We were just mourning him the other day - and wow now I can't remember which movie we referenced. Hmm - off to IMDB (does anyone besides me still use IMDB?). Well that didn't help. Must have been Twister.
DeleteBug--I have the IMDB app on my phone and use it quite a bit. Love it.
DeleteGood thing the conversation ended when it did.....
ReplyDeleteVera--I'm getting better at Letting Things Go.
DeleteThe Cow Advocate... and yes, it's a good thing the conversation ended when it did... LOL
ReplyDeleteBohemian--I am an unabashed Cow Enthusiast, but I am liking the moniker Cow Advocate as well. Perhaps I should have cards made up. LOL
DeleteThat's hilarious. And I'm with you on the logic behind 'depends who says it.' Also: I suppose we have to consider that a lot of us were raised on classic children's songs like 'Old MacDonald." e.g., "with a moo-moo here, and a moo-moo there... ♪ ♪ ♪ We should have outgrown that, but... my niece (who is over 40) recently posted a vid on her FB page of some wild turkeys she spotted in NC while visiting my sister. At one point, she instinctively just said "gobble, gobble, gobble"... and the turkeys responded by "gobbling back" rather angrily. They must have felt insulted, too, but my niece was surprised and amused at the immediate response. lol.
ReplyDeleteOrtizzle--That's a great theory for the origin of the Moo sound. I have to confess; I may have even referred to cows as Moo Cows when my sons were wee. I AM PART OF THE PROBLEM.
DeleteYour sister may well have said something terribly objectionable to the turkeys. How could she know? This is why it's best to stick to our own language and not tread into territories unfamiliar to us.
How could anyone not MOO at cows when they drive by them? Isn't that part of our DNA? I'm never snotty of course, but I realize and accept that they may think I'm a tad silly. I can live with that.
ReplyDeleteAlly--I fully recognize that The Struggle Is Real. It's akin to making the signal at semi-truck drivers to honk their horns when on the turnpike. Or, in my case, to want to stop at almost every soft-serve ice cream stand. Some things are truly just inherent.
DeleteI generally just say MOO to myself when I see cows, since they are always far away, and I doubt they would hear me unless I yelled it out the window, and even then, why disturb them?
ReplyDeleteBridget--Good point. What if you were sitting on your porch, enjoying the day, and some stranger walked by and shouted a random word at you, like BATTERIES? When someone moos at a cow, he has no idea what meaning the tone and inflection might create. Same thing.
DeleteCows don't need the disturbance and the possible offense. Best to just admire them and leave them be.
I don't speak Bovine, so I'm worried that if I said 'Moo' to them, they might take umbrage at my profanity. I do think of you when I pass a field of them, though, knowing that when you see a field of horses you think, 'why no cows?' I also don't speak equine, so I don't try to neigh or whinny or anything when I pass horses. I just think, "Pretty!"
ReplyDeleteJ--Oh, thank you for thinking of me. (And I'm probably one of the few people who is flattered when cows evoke memories of her!)
DeleteYou've made my point exactly. None of us has any way of knowing what our Moo may mean. Best to err on the side of caution.
Yesterday, Rick and I were driving home and came across a trio of truly lovely horses out in a field. I said, "Those are awfully pretty horses, but why aren't there any cows?" All he said was, "I'm sorry, Nance." Really, what else could be said?