I have to tell you, it's been kind of a Lost Week here at the Dept. A chronic and relentless migraine hit me--hard--in the middle of the night last Friday (or was it Saturday?), and nothing was kicking it. By Monday, I had to alert my hero neurologist, Dr. B, who called in a cycle breaker course of steroids for me. Today is the first day I've felt even remotely normal, but I'm still feeling fragile and tired.
Undoubtedly, it was stress-induced. In the days leading up to that, the bathroom floor was finally installed. That meant the entire bathroom was housed in my office and the dining room. We had to use the little half bath upstairs. The new floor is porcelain tile, so the installation, while relatively brief (a day and a half), was noisy and dusty. Rick is always my general contractor, so he tears out and puts things back together around his full-time job schedule. Needless to say, it's almost done. In an old home like ours, a new floor means new baseboards, new moldings and trim, and refitting cabinets because now the level and fit of the floor has changed. So much work, and all custom.
At the same time, my washer broke down. How dare it, after only thirty years of service? (I love my Maytag!) As of today, I am still awaiting the repair, finally scheduled for Monday. Yes, the part was out there, in Kentucky, available, but shipping is a nightmare right now and yada yada yada. I have to manually advance the cycles for each load I do. I refuse to dip into the second-string undies, so I stand there in front of the washing machine, waiting to crank it to Rinse, then Spin. Ugh.
The whole week I was down with migraine, I couldn't do much. It's a very impotent feeling, knowing if I tried to push and do too many things, I'd only make recovery take longer. It hurt even more to know that the burdens on Rick were huge. In addition to the bathroom, he is replacing the floor and rebuilding parts of the boat, anxious to get it done and get it in the water. Projects at the lake await him constantly, and many of those are compromised by backorders and shipping problems, too. Weather is yet another challenge, and he can only do so much on the weekends.
Still, I have to say, things are Good. I got a badly needed new bathroom floor, which I love. It is exactly what I wanted. The drawn-out nature of the project isn't Great, but overall, a Good Thing.
Repairing my original Maytag--Good. The newer ones are now made by Whirlpool, and they aren't as good, nor built to last like original Maytags. The repair will cost less than a third of what a new, basic washer will cost. Being without a reliable washer for all this time has been Not Great, but no tragedy, either.
Everything else? Good. Being without a boat right now for quiet lake time is Not Great, but there will be many, many more times for that. And the refurbished boat will be terrific. Better than Good. Taking time to be gentle with my recovery from this headache was Good. I'll be back to myself by the end of the weekend, hopefully, and having a steroid blast has been such a relief from my arthritis (a little bonus). Those aches will come back as I taper off the drugs, so that's Not Great, but the respite has been nice.
Sometimes, I need to focus on Just Good, Not Great. Life can't always get five stars, you know? There's a lot to be said for the gentle grace of a Good Day. "Okay," you say, "that wasn't all bad. I felt pretty Good about this or that. I put in a Good Day."
How do you feel about the concept of Good vs. Great?
Great is always preferable, but not always possible. Good works because it acknowledges that while things are not great or perfect, you are grateful that things are good and recognize that it could be worse.
ReplyDeleteI hope your migraine fades and that your washing machine is fixed and will continue on for another thirty years.
Gigi--There is an element of gratitude to Good, you're right. I like to acknowledge the positive while not being a Pollyanna about stuff.
DeleteThanks for your good wishes. I appreciate them, and share your hope about my Maytag!
I pretty much live in the world of good, not great. It's because of my tendency to coast so as to not make waves or risk disappointment.
ReplyDeleteIf we hadn't moved down here we would probably still be using our 30 year old washer. Our rental home came with a washer & dryer, so we left ours in Ohio. This set is ok - I do like that it doesn't have an agitator.
I sure hope you continue feeling much better even after you taper off the steroids.
Bug--There's a lot to be said for keeping on an even keel.
DeleteI covet a washer with no center agitator. It's annoying when doing sheets, especially. But I'll gladly put up with it and keep my Maytag for as long as it lasts.
I thank you for your kind words re: my headache. I was blindsided by this one, for sure, and hope it remains a rarity.
Just good works, it's better than so bad. I'm so sorry about the migraine Nance, but glad you are starting to feel better today. Just rest and take care of yourself this weekend!
ReplyDeleteMartha--I agree. Our lives are not picture-perfect, like some social media people would want us to believe theirs are.
DeleteThank you for your kind encouragement and concern. I continue to take it relatively easy so as not to invite any rebound headaches. It's frustrating, but it's necessary. Enjoy your Sunday!
I think it is all relative. My "good" life would probably seem really, really great to some people. I know I am lucky in many, many ways and I am usually happy so I really do not need more than that. Glad your week got better as you went along.
ReplyDeleteEllen--So true! We can always find those less fortunate than ourselves, and that makes us appreciate our lives more. I rarely fail to recognize how many perks and assets there are in my life, even on the not-so-good days. I hesitate to say they arose from sheer luck, since we worked hard to come by the things we have, but of course there is a certain amount of privilege attached to the circumstances.
DeleteTo be able to say that you are usually happy is a wonderful thing indeed. I can say the same, and it wasn't always that way. That alone makes every day start out to be a good day. I'm happy for you!
Oh this puts a lot of things in balance in my mind. First, so sorry about the migraines. I have been unable to do much since our houseguest left. We have been nursing sore stomachs all week. I happen to have a doc appt Tuesday so Great that I can ask for a diagnosis. Something viral most likely? Fireman got it 12 hours before me.
ReplyDeleteGood but not great that the barn issue is pretty much resolved. Their ideas of how to help around there if you arent there to lead or sidewalk were pretty hard to like. No matter. Im settled if we don;t return. I dont know why the thought of that was so difficult to me before our trip. I think the trip anxiety really cranked my stomach.
kathy b--Isn't it incredible (and terrible) what stress can do to our bodies? Not only can it cause its own illness, but it floods the body with cortisol and lowers the immune system to make us more vulnerable to whatever else is out there. I hope you feel much better soon yourself.
DeleteBeing overwhelmed is a helpless and rattling feeling. You're at your absolute worst, and so is your brain. It's the worst time to do any decision-making or heavy thinking. I'm glad you were able to step away and wait to think things through when you felt more settled.
I think with the way the world is right now, it is hard to have a great day judging it by "before times". Sometimes the best we can hope for is good to really good.
ReplyDeleteHope you continue to feel better. Glad the steroids helped.
Dee--I think you make a really great point. Until things are completely normalized--if ever, realistically--we can't look at what a Great Day feels like in the same way. Sustained stress is still with us, thanks to the pandemic and the turmoil of the election aftermath. We all are still in sort of a fragile state.
DeleteThank you for your kind concern. I continue to improve and be gentle with myself.
Hi Nance--I'm so sorry that you've been through such a tough time migraine wise. Thank goodness for your caring and talented neurologist. I'm so glad you're on the mend now! The challenge of house projects always seems like too much; doesn't it? Smart move on the fix for your washer. I so wish I'd done that several years ago vs being convince that it made more sense to buy a new washer. Huge mistake. With the house debacle and my washing machine on the patio for a while, when the former guy who mowed for me put out a request for a washer, I immediately offered to give him mine. He and his wife were thrilled! Now I have a washer that I love and that's purely due to circumstances. It was the one washer on the floor that could be delivered ASAP when Bo and Justine moved in. Pricey but worth it. It's an Electrolux and I didn't even know they made washers before I purchased it. Still, repairing your Maytag is a far better option.
ReplyDeleteI'm good with things being good. Great often means something tough is right ahead. I also think that good is a more realistic view of life. The good with an inevitable bit of bad thrown in. In the end, it's just the way life is, I think. I also agree with others that it's truly relative. With that said, I am so very grateful for so much. Hoping this migraine will be completely behind you by the next time you post! xoxo, Shirley
Shirley--Electrolux might be the only other washer with a record near an original Maytag. They're supposed to be awesome.
DeleteLiving with a carpenter/contractor for lo, these many years, I am always well aware of the inconvenience and rubble surrounding home improvement projects, but they never fail to bother me anyway. As you said, they inevitably get to be too much. And in our 80+ year old home, there are always challenges.
And it's so true: Life is lumpy. I used to be fearful and wary of really good times, always looking around with dread, waiting for the bad time to come and balance it out. I ruined good times that way often. Now, I have learned to be more In The Now and stop looking ahead like that. Like you, I am grateful for so many things. I can always find negative things, but why? Life is short. I choose not to spend my time that way.
It's Sunday morning, and I'm looking out over the lake. My head feels pretty good right now. I'm hopeful that I'm done with the headache. Good to see you here. xxoo
So glad you are on the mend side of the Migraine. Living through a remodeling job is enough to stress anyone out.
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that you can still get parts for a 30 year old washer. Maytag really was a great brand, not sure anymore.
Jean--Thanks, me too. Remodeling is great when you plan it and envision the complete job, but the process is NOT THAT.
DeleteThe repairman was even impressed that the part was available! There were only 28 timers left in the country, and I got one. After this, I fear that a new washer is all that's left for me. Sigh.
I’m so very sorry for your migraine, THEY SUCK. I get them very occasionally, and from past conversations I know mine are different than yours…mine are mostly vision and queasy, not so much pain, and they rarely last more than a day. Just that glimpse is enough for me to be completely empathetic to anyone who suffers, especially those who have it much worse. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you got the steroids. Nice that you got the bonus of some arthritis relief from it. Why is life so hard? Arthritis sucks. I’ve been having some pain in my hands that scares me, and makes me scared that perhaps a flare might be coming. Not sure what to do to prevent it. Hopefully it will not come.
Oh, washing machines. Our old washing machine was a condo type, not great. We replaced it with a front load washer and a dryer, which we stacked on top. I regret the front load. It works well for our space issues, we have no garage or laundry room, it is in the hallway between bedrooms, but it is hard to keep it clean and as dry as it should be. If I were to start over, I would get a top load. Though of course they take more water, which in California is always an issue.
Good vs. Great. Hmmm. Of course, great would always be better than good. But at the same time, i feel like the expectation of life being great has led to a lot of dissatisfaction and disappointment and overall unhappiness in the world. If we were more willing to accept that we are average (as math tells us the majority of people are) and we therefore lead average lives, with average jobs and average children, how much happier might we be? What if we said, “I love you an extraordinary amount, you average person you, and I hope you love me equally” instead of expecting so damn much from ourselves and each other? I honestly think we might be happier.
J--As always, your comments make me think in such terrific ways.
DeleteWhy is life so hard? Some theologies will answer that this is our sort of purgatory, our purification trial to be ready for heaven or for a great reward in a final kingdom. As you and I do not subscribe to a religious belief, the question is even more frustrating. Scientifically, then, our answer can be that we are still an imperfect life form that is still evolving. I like that answer. It explains so many wonderful things like the brains of Hawking and Picasso and even Elon Musk, and it gives me a little bit of wonder and awe about humanity, not some amorphous thing.
Your last paragraph is so intriguing and brilliant, yet it contradicts a bit of what I just said in my previous paragraph. One of the best thing about humans is that we--many of us, anyway--are strivers. Some of us were raised on it: "I want things better for my kids than I had it." We continually reach for higher and higher objectives. We want. We wanted fire. We wanted roofs over our heads. We wanted motion and mobility to be faster and easier. We wanted faster and better transport, communication, medicine.
So we did all that.
You're right that the vast majority of humans are average, and I would counter that a great many of them/us are perfectly okay with that and live with that awareness quite contentedly. Do some people wish they were famous, near-famous, or had jobs other than mundane? Yes. I wonder, though, if that is feeding a wide swath of unhappiness.
I do think we expect more of ourselves--especially we as women--and get personally unhappy from time to time. I think our expectation of relationships as defined by social media or maybe even media in general get a little warped. I think you're right in that comparison is the thief of joy, as they say. It's easy now, thanks to the Internet, to compare lives, and to think that the carefully curated lives of others are their actual lives, and to imagine ours are poor and a failure by comparison.
Overall, I agree with you. If we all thought about living our own best lives day to day, loving each other, comparing ourselves to no one, we'd be happier people.
Fingers crossed for you that your flare does NOT come. I wish it meant rain was on your horizon; at least that would be somewhat positive for you.
Thanks for such a thinky comment. Love it.
GOOD vs GREAT: Well, that fits neatly into Ortizzle’s Theory of Relativity: One person’s Good is another person’s Great. And vice versa. Competition is odious, a time-waster and often self-defeating. Most of the time, though, I think we are just competing with our own selves. Accepting Good and being content with that is not saying we don’t aim for Great. It *is* saying that we can appreciate that the difference between the two is not for lack of trying. And as you wisely point out: Good is good enough for most days. Being truly content with Good and being grateful for Great is really necessary for our sanity. We can reach for the stars and still enjoy the solidity of the earth beneath our feet.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry about your Mega-Migraine, Nance! Glad you’re starting to feel better and that the steroids finally kicked in.
As for appliances breaking down: so true that the old stuff was made to last. I think manufacturers these days deliberately cut corners on the quality side of things to save production costs and so that people will have to purchase new stuff much more often. Finding a part for a 30-year-old machine: miraculous. Especially when recently manufactured appliances often don’t have the part you need. Or they have to send off to Bulgaria to get it because that’s where they bought the cheap-o parts, and then they tell you that the factory in Bulgaria stopped making them 5 years ago. In Casa Ortiz, we have very little space for a washer & dryer, so we bought front-loading stackables a few years ago when the old washing machine from 1983 stopped draining and left the clothes in a pool of dirty water. I spent several weeks going to the laundromat while we were scoping out something affordable that would fit in the tiny space we have. Those are scary places these days, lol!
Enjoy your weekend lake escape, my dear! We’re going to see family in Houston on Memorial Day weekend. Last time we got together was Thanksgiving 2019! Looking forward to that, especially since I have a heavy-duty summer ahead with a professional development course. (Although I know the course will be Great, lol!)
XXOO
Ortizzle--It truly is all about Appreciation and Gratitude. We don't have to be drippy about it, sitting around Counting Our Blessings, so to speak, but having attained the grace of some years now, and the slower pace of retirement, perhaps, I can have better Perspective. That it took this long is a bit of a Sadness, but that I arrived at last is Good.
DeleteI appreciate your sympathy about this monster headache. It was unexpected, and I got worried, which didn't help. It takes longer to recover now, and I begrudge that time a bit.
We have front-loading stackables at the lakehouse, and I loathe them. They are the older models, and prone to the mold/mildew issues. But since we rarely have to use them, they're fine.
This weekend at the lake was lovely--for me. Rick worked far too hard in hot sun, with Sam's help, but the new floor is on the boat now, and the wiring is secured. Next weekend, more progress. It will see the water before too long.
How lovely that you'll reunite with family after this pandemic hiatus! What a joy that will be for you all! I hope you'll tell me a bit about it, especially the food. I can only imagine the smiles and laughter. I'm so happy for you! XXOO
I am so sorry about the migraine Nance, I am su=ending you a big, gentle hug as I know the pain and weakness you are experiencing. I had a tough week a few weeks ago, I kept getting one after another until I realized I probably had a sinus infection, there were no other symptoms. I just finished my round of antibiotics but for a while thought I was going to need steroids as well. I am glad the floor is finished, glad you are moving forward on other projects and please know I am sending you love for full headache recovery.
ReplyDeleteMere--You can well imagine what this time has been like, I know. I gratefully accept your knowing sympathy and encouragement. I considered a sinus infection, but the symptoms were too targeted.
DeleteAs I'm aging, I have to accept that recovery from a massive migraine like that is going to take longer. I don't like it, but that's just the way it is.
I'm glad you're getting your health squared away as well. Being a migraineur impacts so many other things, and it's terribly tiresome. Be well, friend.
Can you even imagine if every day was five stars? Me neither.
ReplyDeleteSorry the migraine took you down, but I'm happy you are on the upswing. Dysfunctional appliances are a nuisance, but like you said, could always be worse.
Rest up and you'll be back to your regular self very soon.
BB Suz--My dad used to always preach about The Contrasts In Life. He would talk about how we had to have the negatives in order to appreciate the positives. So, no, I can't imagine every day with five stars. Pretty soon, they'd feel less than five stars, and we'd be bored and fussy and looking for really dangerous things to make us feel excited.
DeleteTODAY IS THE DAY! MY WASHER REPAIR HAPPENS THIS AFTERNOON! I cannot help but feel that not only will this be a five star day, but that my headache will completely disappear as well. Laundry will take on a new lustre, and I might spontaneously lose ten pounds.
I will let you know.
YAY! I'm so happy for you. Enjoy ALL the laundry and weight loss. ;)
DeleteMuch as I love you, I have to tell you that you are a JINX. Last evening my dishwasher quit. Full of dishes from five meals and baking. Absolutely quit.
ReplyDeleteLuckily the JG dishwasher worked so we are not reduced to eating out of cans and off paper plates. But getting a repairperson out here is not an easy task at any time and during a complete lockdown, as is current in Ontario, we may be handwashing for some time to come.
I do hope your pain is now long gone and that the spring is comforting you, as it is me. My lilac are spectacular this year. Too bad I cannot see them from the window over the kitchen sink.
Mary--OH NO! I hate to think that I caused this. Were you in the States, I could easily blame it on the republicans, but since you are in Canada (!), that could be a stretch.
DeleteI'm glad that you have JG to gainfully employ. Washing dishes seems to be a Good thing for him to do. If he is like Rick, however, you'll soon have to go after him and put things back where YOU want them to be in the cupboards. Rick is constantly rehoming things when he unloads the dishwasher; I hate it.
I wish mightily that Ontario would get its shit together so I could run up and restock my wine cellar, Mary. It has been empty and sad for so long now, and I am dreaming of the day when I can once again merely descend my cellar steps and select a wine rather than play wine roulette at the store, bottle by bottle.
I am a selfish brat, I know.
Our spring has turned to high summer at present. We are in the upper 80s, but the lake was lovely. We have only a Miss Kim lilac, but it is lush and its blooms are redolent of hyacinth. The traditional lilacs here are long gone, but they were incredible.
Fingers crossed for your dishwasher repair.
My YD would say 'It's all good.'
ReplyDeleteMary--Yes! This saying is quite appropriate here!
DeleteReporting that the dishwasher mysteriously started working again this morning. I feel for your empty wine racks - we had an outdoor, distanced three generation dinner for Not Little Stuff's 18th birthday and opened a bottle of wine that her father put away for this event. She is still not legal to drink it for a year - not a problem as she took one sip and made a face. So did all of us. I will get the particulars of the bottle for you, but perhaps enough to say that it had not aged as expected by her father. I hope next year's bottle will do better, although she still will probably not like dry red wine.
DeleteWe have heat here too.
Mary--Hooray for your dishwasher coming back to life. Perhaps it was sending you a message of overwork and to stop baking.
DeleteWhat a disappointment about the wine. We had a bad bottle recently as well. Some Ontario wines are not meant to age past a few years, but it's rare that we let them last that long anyway. We're currently looking now at a bottle of barolo (not Canadian, obv) given to us as a very pricey gift many years back. It's entered its final window, and we're hoping our upcoming 40th wedding anniversary in July will be its tasty demise.
First, I'm sorry about your week. It sounds stressful-- and annoying to the nth degree.
ReplyDeleteAs for good versus great, I used to be a perfectionist so everything had to be great. However, I'm older and more relaxed now so good usually works for me. I often remind myself that a good enough something is better than a perfect nothing.
Ally--Thank you.
DeleteAnd YES--Perfect is often the enemy to the Good. We are alike in that way, Recovering Perfectionists who are trying now to relax that identity and embrace the Good. With age comes grace and perspective and, thankfully, that wisdom about life.
There are a lot more good moments than great ones. And that's a good thing, if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteBridget--I'm all for piling up the Good Moments, too.
DeletePersonally, I think GREAT is over-rated. I've learned over time a good day is better than the bad...and work to get the bad & turn it good. I don't need great. Life is too short to wish for better than good.
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better by now. Congrats on the new floor.
Anni--I'm feeling great, actually. The steroids really gave me a reset and a burst of energy. I've been a whirlwind. My washer is fixed, the weather cooled down, and I've been busy.
DeleteThanks for the good wishes. They're always appreciated.
Beautiful blog
ReplyDeleteRajani Rehana--Again, thank you.
DeleteI've had to be content with life being "good" rather than "great" sooner as I've aged than I expected but could be worse, though some days I think otherwise. Sorry you're putting up with migraine but glad you're getting relief. Lucky you being able to repair your Maytag -- they don't make them like they once did.
ReplyDeleteJoared--Aging in place is a great blessing, though, as you've often written about yourself over at your space. It's all about perspective and, in some cases, planning. I think as we get older, we learn from Life that managing expectation and living more in the present benefits us.
DeleteMy Maytag is washing again like a champ! I didn't expect to be so happy about doing laundry.