Friday, May 07, 2021

E Is For Eggs

 


I find that I want--no, Need--to talk about Eggs. I have a problem with them, and now you're going to hear about it.

For some reason, I grabbed two dozen of them with no purpose in mind a while back and had to use them up. We don't eat breakfasts, and I rarely bake anymore, and I find that overall, I'm not fond of Eggs in general. I settled on a big batch of Egg salad for Rick and Sam's lunches, and that's where all my irritation and resentment sprung to life anew.

Because peeling hardboiled Eggs is, in short, a colossal pain. Everyone in the universe knows it, and that's why there are innumerable tips--excuse me--hacks all over the internet telling you a million ways to prepare your Eggs or your water to make this crappy job much easier and the finished product much nicer so that your peeled hardboiled eggs don't look like they fought their way through a thorn bush. 

Here are the tips/hacks I've learned in my years of valuable Egg Research:

Add a pinch of baking soda to the water. Add vinegar to the water. Add salt to the water. Use fresh Eggs. Don't use fresh Eggs. Start the Eggs in cold water. Add the Eggs to already vigorously boiling water. Don't cover the pan. Cover the pan. Poke a small hole in the large end of the Egg. 

And all of those are even before you cook the Eggs. Once you've gotten your Eggs hardboiled to the stage you like them (dry yolks? fudgy yolks?), the advice continues for those of us who still struggle to peel:

Shock the Eggs in ice water. Don't use ice water. Cover the pan and vigorously shake the Eggs in a small amount of water. Once the Eggs have cooled, place each in a small sealed container with water and shake. Strike the Egg on the top and the bottom and submerge in cool water. Peel a small chip out of the top and bottom, then blow hard on one end and the Egg pops out. Roll the Egg on the counter firmly.

I've tried almost all of these, and let me say this:  They are all a crapshoot and all of them are bullshit. You should have seen me the other day with my fake pearl corsage pin, painstakingly poking a hole in the big end of over a dozen Eggs whilst my water was coming to a boil. I probably looked like an idiot. And the result was the same as usual--about 60% of the Eggs were a complete pain, and all of them still retained the little flat end, the flaw that was specifically mentioned would disappear with the Pin Method because Science. 

They all went into the food processor, though, for Egg salad, with some tarragon and seasoning. I like tarragon in my Egg salad; it's a vastly under-utilized herb. I finished up the salad in time for Sam's lunch, but not before thinking about another Egg Irritation, and this it is:

I hate the saying "Walking on Eggshells." It seems like a stupid metaphor to me. What's the big deal if you break Eggshells? Wouldn't it make more sense if you said "Walking on Eggs"? That seems more descriptive to me. You really have to be careful if you're walking on Eggs; one bad move and you break the Egg, ruin it, and your foot is covered in slimy goo. And we all know what it's like to try and clean up raw Egg. 

Another reason to feel cranky about Eggs.


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43 comments:

  1. You should check Pinterest. They have LOTS of hacks for cleaning up dropped eggs. (Okay, you can kick me now. LOL)

    I will say, I do love eggs. But, I agree. Peeling can be a real crap shoot.

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    1. Dee--Don't get me started on Pinterest. I still don't get what that's all about. "Here's a bunch of my bookmarked sites so you can see what I like." ?????

      Sometimes, I like a runny egg yolk on lots of things, but overall, eggs don't agree with me. You can have my share.

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  2. Shockingly, I don't mind peeling hard boiled eggs (I'm weird, I know). But my husband absolutely SWEARS that steaming the eggs for about 15 minutes makes them easier to peel - does it work? I have no idea but he seems to think it works and he's the cook in this family.

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    1. Gigi--I only mind it because it's such a pain and provides such inconsistent results. And, admittedly, I'm impatient, a fault I've been working on almost my whole life.

      I've read the Steaming Eggs tip, too, and also its detractors. How nice that you have a husband who cooks for you! I'd feel a lot better about peeling eggs, too, if I didn't also do the preponderance of the cooking.

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  3. I never thought about walking on eggshells being a stupid metaphor, but now it will probably annoy me too. The only thing I know of that actually seems to make a difference is peeling the eggs while they are still really warm. Now I want some egg salad. Have a great Mother's Day weekend Nance. :)

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    1. Martha--Gosh, I've tried that and had no consistent success. I just want something that works all the time. Too much to ask, I guess.

      Today is Mother's Day, and it is 36; we have a rain/snow mix. Sigh. WHY DO I LIVE HERE?!

      I hope you've had a wonderful weekend, and that you're enjoying lovely weather down there.

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  4. I agree: "They are all a crapshoot and all of them are bullshit." I've tried about a million different ways to make hardboiled eggs, because I'm a glutton for punishment I guess, and you just never know what'll work. That's the reality. I also agree with you that tarragon is an under-utilized herb. I love its flavor, too.

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    1. Ally--It really is sort of a sado-masochistic endeavour, isn't it? We keep doing it, hoping against hope, and keep being let down. Sigh. But please trust me that the day I find the foolproof method, I will post it here.

      My tarragon never fails to come back, year after year, in my herb garden. I love it with chicken (add a bit of lemon), and I make a great French potato salad with it, too. Aromatic and delicious--that's tarragon.

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  5. I for one am not ever going to boil an egg again. IT is such a pain especially when my grocery store sells hard boiled eggs with no shell. sells already

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    1. Meredith--My grocery store sells them, too. What a first-world item, right? But for a small amount, like to pack in lunches, the convenience is worth it. But if I'm making egg salad, I chafe at the cost. You know me--I get irritated at the price of stuff so easily.

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  6. Yes. Me too, I get complaints and computer printout how-tos from JG most times he makes himself an egg salad sandwich.
    As for the eggshell walk, I always interpreted that to mean 'noisy'. They would crunch and you could not sneak up on anyone.

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    1. Mary--That would be the day when Rick would dare to criticize anything in my kitchen. Nothing would ever come out of it again.

      Walking on eggshells has always been interpreted here in the US to mean "tread lightly so as not to offend or upset anyone", as in "Ever since Clarence's mom died, we walk on eggshells around him during the holidays."

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    2. I think your interpretation holds here too - I have just tried to make sense of it by re-interpreting it. JG is a fine food critic. He knows how to do anything better than I. Yet I still love him. Goodness knows why. ah, poetry. Scans, rhymes. Totally by accident.
      Lockdown is rotting my brain. I am so glad you are here, giving me one moment of sanity in my day.

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    3. Mary--I appreciate always your impromptu poetry.

      I'm sorry you're in lockdown up there. We're slowly returning to Normalcy here. In fact, Rick and I went out to dinner for my birthday last week. It was so wonderful. Masked waitstaff, and we were masked until service, but so close to Normal.

      I'm glad to be a bright spot for you; truly, I am.

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  7. I got a Dash Rapid Egg cooker and hard boiled eggs turn out great every time. You can even get the yokes to come out the way you want by the amount of water you add to this egg steamer. All you do is prick the end to vent with tool they provide, measure the water with with their little cup, put six rare eggs inside, plug it in and forget them. They peel great every time. Best twenty buck I've spent in the kitchen.

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    1. Make that raw eggs. I don't cook rare eggs. LOL

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    2. Jean--You must eat a lot of eggs to have a separate kitchen appliance for them. If so, it's worth the investment and the space on your counter or in your cupboard. I have a small kitchen both at home and at the lake, so space is limited.

      You have confirmed a couple of theories here, though, with your cooker: that piercing the end is helpful, and that steaming is, too. I get the kind of yolks I like by timing, which is probably what the amount of water does, too. Personally, I like the fudge consistency for yolks.

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  8. I do love egg salad, though sometimes it leaves a sort of fart smell in my kitchen (don't look at me!) Peeling is never consistent even though I always cook eggs the same way. Maybe it has nothing to do with the peeling method and something to do with the chicken that was the layer of the egg. Hmm, something to ponder.

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    1. Ellen--I wonder if people have a sort of sensitivity for that sulfurous smell. I don't really smell that much with eggs; they just smell like eggs to me, not strong or objectionable.

      I'm not sure if your theory about the chicken/hen being the determiner makes me feel good or bad! On the one hand, knowing I can't do anything about it absolves me from failure. On the other hand, knowing I cannot do a thing about it makes me a little frustrated, like no matter what I do, it's never going to be something I can conquer!

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    2. I just realized that I should have insisted that your "E" post should have been about "Ellen"! Humph!

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    3. Ellen--Too late! ;)

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  9. Completely agree with you that no method for peeling boiled eggs is foolproof. My most successful method has always been to watch out for 'over-boiling' them, and try to get them peeled as soon as possible after boiling. (I run cold water over them and peel as quick as I can after that.) Still hit-and-miss, though.

    As for eggs in general--- the suggestions for how to best fry or poach them are equally frustrating. Most of the time, I just boil eggs for egg salad or to chop up and serve in a salad. One trick I learned in Spanish cuisine: adding mashed boiled egg yolks to soups and stews as a thickener. Gives a bit more substance to soups, and I like it better for flavour than adding flour or cornstarch, etc.

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    1. Ortizzle--You're now the second or third person to recommend peeling while still rather warm. I'll try that next time. Fingers crossed.

      I just read about your Spanish method of adding egg for thickening soups and stews on a food website. Except for getting AT the yolk, it sounds much easier than roux.

      I do love boiled egg as part of a big salad. When we make salads for meals, eggs add a nice touch and a boost of protein.

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    2. 'Getting AT the yolk' --- I use the leftover white part for chopping up and throwing in a salad, so I just cut 'em in half; makes getting at the cooked yolk easy. Making a roux requires patience for sure, although the end result is certainly worth it for a special dish. Much depends on the degree of thickness you want, of course. In my early years in Spain, I spent a lot of time spying on my friends' moms in their kitchens and discovered a lot of great tips on sauces, which so many Spanish dishes have. Something to mop up with a nice chunk of their wonderful bread! That was where I learned about reduction sauces that don't require flour or anything. Can you tell I love soups and sauces? lol.

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    3. Ortizzle--I was talking about peeling them, but cutting the egg in half and scooping out the white and yolks does sound lots easier!

      Making roux has become second nature to me around here. I make bechamel for lots of dishes in the winter that Rick loves. He is the king of cream sauces, and I have to regulate that or we'd have them every night.

      For me, reduction requires way more patience. As you know, not my strong suit. And I can make a whole meal out of nothing but really good bread and butter. Mmmmm.

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  10. I hate peeling boiled eggs. Ted does it all the time and doesn’t seem to have trouble with it. His are soft boiled, though, I don’t know if that makes any difference.

    I love eggs and am very picky about them. I like a certain brand, and I like them pasture raised. The yolks are orange and rich, instead of yellow and anemic looking. I like them scrambled soft, with some chives. I like them fried over medium, with bacon or without, with sourdough toast. I like them poached on a Benedict. I like them in an omelette, with mushrooms and spinach and green onion and tomatoes. Maybe some Parmesan and bacon. As I said, I love eggs.

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    1. Also love egg salad and deviled eggs. Yum. I don’t think I’ve tried them with tarragon, but it sounds delicious.

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    2. J--Soft boiled eggs don't get peeled all the way down, usually, do they? Don't you just peel off the top and spoon out from there? I like runny yolks quite a bit, but eggs don't always agree with me, for some reason.

      My son Sam had a friend who raised chickens and ducks, and once in a while we got duck eggs. Talk about rich! Those were delightful over easy with runny yolks.

      In the summertime I occasionally make frittata for dinner. We like them with mushroom and swiss, or with mushroom and asparagus, or really with whatever veg we have in the fridge. I can't eat too much of it, though, and concentrate on the tossed salad that accompanies it.

      And a brisk, acidic white wine.

      Around here in NEO, deviled eggs became a huge item a year ago or so and appeared on menus everywhere as appetizers or small plate items. They got really creative with them, making them with bloody mary mix, bacon, shrimp, and all sorts of stuff. One place even had a dessert deviled egg. Ew.

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    3. I have seen soft boiled eggs eaten that way on TV, but Ted just peels his completely and puts it on a plate. I love a runny yolk, but for some reason soft boiled eggs aren’t my thing, so I leave them to Ted. Sorry that eggs don’t agree with you, that is sad. Glad you can at least have SOME frittata when that is dinner…I love a good quiche or frittata too.

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  11. I love eggs! I eat two every day (sunny side up? I can never remember what it's called, but the yolk is runny) in my oatmeal, with a little parmesan, salt & pepper. I also love egg salad sandwiches, and scrambled eggs, and hard boiled egg in salad... I'm sorry they don't agree with you - they're such good little protein packs.

    Weird fact #1: just the other day in my Facebook memories was the time when I made a Hello Fresh meal that featured tarragon; that was when I discovered I didn't much like tarragon.

    Weird fact #2: Dr. M was EATING EGG SALAD while I was reading this.

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    1. Bug--The Universe is in sync with The Dept. today! Those are some weird coincidences.

      I like the idea of a savoury oatmeal. I don't drown mine in sugar, milk, or use cinnamon like a lot of people do. Sometimes, on a cold day, I'll eat oatmeal for lunch. I wonder how it would be with some avocado and tomato; maybe I'll find out.

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    2. Avocado, egg, and tomato were my gateway into savory oatmeal! I saw a "recipe" for that & thought it looked really good, and it IS! The problem is that it's usually just too much food for breakfast for me to add avocado to my oatmeal. I should do it for lunch though.

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  12. Okay here's my thought. I don't have a problem peeling hard boiled eggs. They come out of the shell smooth as a baby's bottom. What irks me is when I devil them the mixture is always "short by 1/2 an egg"! What's up with that? Should come out even...you mix more ingredients with the egg yolk, it should be MORE than what you started with!!
    Agree? Eggsactly!!

    Oh and just what IS a "fresh" egg? Don't people know where they come from?

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    1. Anni--Oh, why not share your secret for having hardboiled eggs come out so smoothly time after time?!

      Perhaps you're filling your devilled eggs too generously. The temptation is real to fill them up with a nice plump mound, I know.

      Just eat that skimpy one yourself! And as far as the egg's freshness, I look at that carton date like all the other City Folk. ;)

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  13. Dint like them. Never have. Friends are amazed, especially in Mexico , that we don't like eggs!

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    1. kathy--I get that. I have to be in the mood for eggs myself, and even then, cannot eat much of them.

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  14. I do really enjoy eggs - scrambled, deviled, egg salad, omlettes, quiche, you name it. But, I do not like runny yolks at all. The addition of tarragon sounds excellent - will need to give that a try! And, I agree about the peeling - it is a PITA for sure.

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    1. Vera--You've named a lot of great egg dishes, and I do like a taste of each one. Something about eating eggs for any meal gives me a queasy stomach. They simply don't agree with me. In a small dose, I'm okay.

      I had an old cookbook that had a chart in front of it, matching herbs to foods. When I began herb gardening many years ago, I naturally wanted to use them in my cooking. I used that chart as a guide, and it was really helpful and spot on a lot of the time. It suggested tarragon with egg dishes. Thyme with mushrooms is another go-to that it matched and I've found delicious.

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  15. Yes, to the metaphor. Who walks on eggshells? Or eggs?

    Your irritation did make me giggle. I've found that preparing them in my Instantpot makes the peeling a DREAM. I mean, if you want to dream about 'easy to peel' eggs.
    I don't do eggs anymore since my cholesterol problem, but the coach loves them and he loves egg salad and we have friends with chickens, so guess who makes hard boiled eggs almost weekly? *raises hands* The instant pot is the way to go.

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    1. BB Suz--Good news for you, then. You can still eat eggs and not raise your overall cholesterol, according to Science! Here is the latest study. Probably not 25 eggs a day, like the old man in one of the studies (who was perfectly fine, btw), but a couple a day, even, would be ok.

      I'm not going to buy an instant pot--no place to put it, and I don't want one, really--but you aren't the first person to advocate for that method. It's popped up in so many tips I've seen. If only Florida and Ohio were closer together, you could drive over with some hardboiled eggs. LOL.

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    2. Wow. The whole egg thing: Monday: Eggs are bad. Tuesday: EGGS ARE GOOD.
      It changes so frequently that my head is spinning.
      I've been enjoying egg whites almost daily with veggies and I've grown to love them. Thanks for sharing this; now if I have a yolk here and there, I will not lose any sleep over it.

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  16. Wow! Haven't you see the TV ad I saw recently that directs you to purchase their device, then put the egg in the device with water, however you've previously cooked them -- no hole punching. Shake them a bit, divest the device of its water, take out your egg and voila! The egg shells are easily removed and your eggs are perfect. You haven't been doing it right. Did I mention, you have to buy that device to remove the egg shell easily and properly?

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    1. Joared--I haven't seen that particular wonder gadget, but it sounds like yet another kitchen doodad that I won't be buying. See what I mean about Eggs? Almost more trouble than they're worth!

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Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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