Saturday, May 01, 2021

D Is For Diving Lesson

 Long ago I often took off in the summertime for solo vacations, visiting friends all over the place. I'd take advantage of cheap airfare back in those days and spend time in Chicago, Denver, Orlando, and southern Maryland. Years later, when air travel felt like Prison Intake (take off your shoes; place your metal and valuables in these bins; stand here while we look at you in Naked or XRay Vision; no liquids, etc.), I hopped in my Prius, set my GPS, and drove.

My most regular destination has been southern Maryland, to visit my friend Leanne, she of Banana Price fame. She has a spacious home on top of a hill, backed by woods, and a luxurious in-ground pool. She and her husband are also gracious and generous hosts, and they have a charming and boisterous Boston terrier with whom I have a pleasant friendship. In the mornings when I awaken, I pad over to her mother's adjoining apartment for coffee and conversation. It's a wonderful place.

On one particular summer visit, her daughter, then a teenager, was out in the pool with me. She had been trying to conquer an absurdly large floating shark, but gave up and turned to practicing dives. I was doing what I always do in pools--bobbing close to the edge in the deep water, buoyed up by some small floaty, enjoying getting cool down to my very core. I watched her dive several times, then offered a few observations.

"You need to keep your legs together. They're drifting apart as you head into the water. Try to focus on that, and pointing your toes."

Lauren executed a couple more dives and looked at me expectantly. "How was that?"

"That was way better," I said. "Now, keep that up, but this time, focus on aligning your head with your arms. Your head is dropping down farther than your arms. It's like your head is entering the water before your hands. You should be one smooth arc. One line. Your head shouldn't break the plane of your body."

Lauren nodded and walked onto the diving board again. By this time, Leanne, who had been wandering around the gardens with her sunhat on, stopped to watch. Lauren shook her shoulders and arms loose and prepared to enter the water. I could see she was thinking about what I had told her. In a few moments she tried her dive.

She broke the surface of the pool and spun around to face me, shaking the water from her ear. "I could tell my hands came apart a little on that one, but what about my head?"

"So much better," I said. "But you're still dropping it. Your legs were perfect, and your toes were pointed, too. But keep in mind that your neck and torso are almost functioning as one unit. You want to make a clean entry into the water."

"Nance," she said. "Do you think you could show me? I probably would do much better if I could see it. If I could watch you do the dive, I'm sure I could understand better." 

I looked up at Leanne who was staring at me from her chaise, suddenly alert. It was as if she had been waiting for this.

I smiled at Lauren and told her. "Oh, honey. I've never done a dive in my life. I don't even know how to swim."

 

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32 comments:

  1. The surprise ending made literally laugh out loud!

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    1. Gigi--Good! Lauren, however, did not have that immediate reaction.

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  2. But you watched Olympic diving, right?

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    1. Mary G--Oh yes, dozens of times! I felt quite competent to coach her.

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  3. That is so funny Nance! You are a teacher after all. A good teacher can teach anything even if they can't (or don't want to) do it themselves. I'm enjoying your ABC posts. Have a great weekend. :)

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    1. Martha--Thank you.

      You're exactly right. My husband once coached high jumpers and pole vaulters, and he never did either one. And how many times do you think the Karolyis showed their gold medal gymnasts how to do their moves? Seems like a technicality.

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  4. Hilarious, Nance!! —I have always marveled at the beauty and grace of divers. My favorite Olympic sports to watch are diving, ski-jumping, figure skating and gymnastics.

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    1. Ortizzle--Lauren did not see any humour in it at all.

      I can get interested in most Olympic sports until they inundate me with them, like they try to with endless hours of beach volleyball. I love watching the platform divers, and I love listening to all the commentary of the experts in all individual sports as they nitpick teensy flaws as if they will result in terrible tragedy.

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  5. I knew that was going to be the ending. I just knew it. Still, I have no doubt that you coached her properly on her diving form!

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    1. Shirley--You know me well. And I coached her up SO HARD. And she did improve!

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    1. Jean--This is one instance where that old saw holds true.

      I've always hated that saying (Those who can, do; those who can't, teach) because it implies that teaching is a career for pretenders and those who couldn't make it in the career they teach about. As if Teaching isn't a career in itself.

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  7. I'm laughing so hard this morning; thanks for that!

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    1. BB Suz--Hee hee! You're welcome. All these years later, I wonder if Lauren has found the humour.

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  8. I could never dive as I was too busy holding my nose! I could never coordinate my breathing and was afraid to get water up my nose. Not a technique to brag about!
    Nice attempt at coaching her dive - you sounded knowledgeable to me!

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    1. Ellen--Don't you hate getting water in your nose (and ears)? I try not to get my head wet if at all possible. I feel as if it's unnecessary.

      I coached the hell out of her. I knew what I was talking about, too. I just couldn't do it myself. LOL.

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  9. Hahahahaha. How great is that? I love to swim and used to swim a lot...like a ton! And I can dive, but not beautifully. My Mom, on the other hand, was a magnificent diver.

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    1. Vera--Right?

      I do regret not being able to swim every once in a while. I know it's great exercise, and for goodness sake, we have a house on a lake! But I can do just enough to save myself. Now diving is another matter; it's a skill I have no interest in performing myself. I bet watching your mom was really something. A good dive is a magnificent thing.

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  10. Nothing like an expert to train our youth!

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    1. Joared--And completely self-taught (on years of watching Olympic diving)! Hee hee.

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  11. Good story. I like your confidence when instructing. Made me smile on many levels, oh teacher woman.

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    1. Ally--Thank you. I felt very confident! I bet there are lots of things you could teach, too, that you've never done.

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  12. That was great! What's funny to me is that watching someone do it correctly would have no effect on whether or not I could do it - I apparently have no concept of my body in space. I know what it's supposed to do - it just never does it. Which is why there was no unity candle at my wedding - can you even imagine?

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    1. Bug--I know exactly what you mean. Lots of times at physical therapy for various concerns, I had zero idea how to do what they were showing me. They had to move me like a big Barbie until I got it. It was embarrassing.

      We had the candle thing at our wedding, however; it went off without incident. Whew!

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    2. Bug - What on earth is a 'unity candle? I never heard of that!

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    3. It’s where the bride and groom take two candles & light one together. We were the “clumsiest known couple” & had visions of my dress going up in flames. We were already worried about my ability to just walk in the thing - adding fire seemed like a bad idea. Ha!

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  13. That story was great, and you are right that of course you don’t have to be able to do something in order to teach/train. Look at people who train racehorses. HA!

    When I think of your MD friend, I think of when you told me about the crab cakes and wine there, and I wish we could have that together.

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    1. J--LOL. Great example, racehorses. You always have the best thoughts. (Hence your blog title.)

      Yes, eating gorgeous no-filler crab cakes at Jerry's restaurant! They are such a treat, as are his ultra-fresh oysters. I get sauv blanc--of course!--and it's always a delightful meal.

      Having a chance to enjoy that with you would be so wonderful. I hope we can make that happen one day soon somehow.

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  14. I needed that laugh. OH my gosh. I swear some people Can notice these things and help !

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    1. kathy--Good point. Sometimes, just an outside perspective is the best help of all.

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  15. ROFL. Have you been back to visit recently & been in touch with the teen?

    I still enjoyed this. I could never give diving instructions but I certainly could make the very same confession as you.

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    1. Anni--This teen is now an adult in her thirties and an accomplished special ed teacher. I'm in touch with her often. She has forgiven me but still rolls her eyes about the incident.

      I haven't visited Leanne since COVID. The last time I went was not during pool season, sadly, but I'm hopeful maybe this summer I can get down there. We have a lot of catching up to do! And I'm sure I'll see Lauren, too. Maybe we can get another diving lesson in.

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