Sometimes, I think back to The Olden Times when things were Very Sad, like when my cell phone did not have a camera I could use easily. Now, I can snap pictures of tremendous Things, share them, and then delete them once they have served their purpose, like becoming Blog Material. A collateral benefit is that others take pictures for me and send them to me, too. Isn't Life great? I'm glad The Olden Times are gone.
We are so Advanced now that some Beings no longer use words. It's true! Witness this ad, which has run for a few days now in the Rentals section of my Cleveland Plain Dealer:
I feel like I'm getting some of it: grand staircase; cable tv; party room downstairs; no phone or casual hookups; outdoor pool; references available upon request. The rest is self explanatory. If you can handle complex communication and don't have a pet, the rent seems pretty reasonable.
I, however, will be staying in my neighborhood, especially after what I saw in this next photo. The joy (and relief) I felt on my walk when I saw this sign just around the corner from my home was immeasurable.
Until I went to edit this photo, I didn't notice the rays of light shining down upon it from The Heavens Above. It's awfully comforting to know that The Universe is rooting for The Rest Of Us in 2020, too.
This last photo was sent to me by my dear friend Jeanine, who keeps a sharp eye out for such things with me in mind. This sign made my day; it is magnificent in its oddness and bossiness. I have never, ever seen anything like it. It defies explanation and logic in every way. I love it.
This sign mystifies me, and I am not over it. I struggle mightily to figure out exactly how driving at a regular speed or even zippily will affect a grieving family. Wouldn't it make more sense (but still be a ridiculous imposition, really) for the sign to read QUIET: DEATH IN FAMILY: THANK YOU? How slowly must the drivers pass by? Can they drive r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w-l-y but blast "Old Town Road" or "Sucker" with their windows open? Perhaps it would be better for drivers to stop altogether and observe a moment of silence for this dead person, whom they do not even know, in a family they do not even know, who are, right now, attempting to BOSS THEM AROUND IN THEIR PERSONAL CAR ON A PUBLIC ROAD.
Isn't it just The Best? I told you I'm not over it. This will take some time. I'll get back to you.
In the meantime, why not chat about these pix in Comments?
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You blog is always good for a smile. But I have to admit that it took me awhile to get the 'any functioning adult' sign and I wouldn't have been able to figure out the first one without a decoder ring.
ReplyDeleteJean--I totally made up my interpretation of the ad. I have zero idea what it means; I'm sure it's either an error or some sort of secret message to someone.
DeleteAs far as the campaign sign, maybe you just have Politics Fatigue or you really can't look that far ahead.
No matter. I'm glad to make you smile.
I like the photo of your camera phone. It rocks. I haven't a clue what the rental ad is saying. It's stupid [not me of course]. I like the photo of the functioning adult sign bathed in light. It gives me hope. I am baffled by the death in family sign. I don't know how to process that one.
ReplyDeleteAlly Bean--Is that ad a puzzle or what? I started wondering if it was something nefarious, like a secret message to an underworld figure or something. As I told Jean above, I made up all that stuff I pretended to decode.
DeleteThe Drive Slow Death sign was photographed in North Carolina. Does that matter, do you think? Is it regional? Clearly, it's commercially made.
Dee--Pretty much any person over 18 qualifies as a Functioning Adult when the bar has been set so very low by 45*. I would take the job only to take it AWAY FROM that individual.
ReplyDeleteCertainly we could blast any tune we want as long as we drive SLOWLY. And we can moon them, too.
I absolutely loved the campaign sign and I have high hopes it rings true for the next
ReplyDeleteresident of the White House.
I'm guessing the demanding 'death in the family' pic was taken on a back road in the country.
Probably everyone knows one another and they have a teenage neighbor with a loud car that needed
to be reminded that they should be respectful...
I don't know for certain or for sure, but having lived in the country, that sounds like what could of happened, lol...
As for the emoji symbols ad, forget it. My kids tell me how wrong I'm using emojis all the time.
Oh well, I try...
Now that the killing heat wave is over, enjoy your summer..
Denise--The theory is a decent one, but the sign is professionally made. I suppose there could be a signmaker in there somewhere, too. I don't care; I love it. It made my week. That and the heat wave breaking. So glad to give the AC a rest and enjoy being outdoors rather than feel like I'm navigating a bowl of soup!
DeleteEnjoy your summer, too. It's going by so quickly!
Oh that last sign is THE BEST. But have you considered that it is just informative, letting you know that someone is slowly dying in that family? Maybe they just want you to be aware ...
ReplyDeleteThe signs I've seen lately on some streets say: "Please slow down. We love our children." I am DYING to make a sign to put under it that says, "Other streets are indifferent."
Bridget--LOL. We have those signs all over the place here in NEO, too, with variations on the wording. One says, DRIVE AS IF YOUR CHILD LIVES HERE. Sigh. How the hell did any of us grow to adulthood without all this Intervention On Our Behalf? By rights, we should be in our graves forty years. WE ARE A LIVING MIRACLE.
DeleteI like your reading of the Death Sign. It's good to be informed; not everyone is on FB. ;-)
Hahahaha - these are great! Well, the first I don't really get (or read). The 2nd is my very favorite and though I detest signs in my yard, I want one of these. the death one cracks me up - I read your note in the comments that it comes from NC and that makes sense to me. Still laughing. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteVera--The ad is befuddling. I am just pretending to decipher it.
DeleteI would LOVE to get a campaign sign for as many Democrats as I can who are running for President and put them in my yard, just to make a point: I will vote for/support ANY DEMOCRAT IN THE RACE in order to oust that current occupant.
Glad you're getting a giggle out of this post. We all need one (or several) these days. Feel free to share!
It's hard to pick my favourite one, but I think it has to be the functioning adult. Just because I am so burned out from the daily incessant rants and lies from the Twitter Twit. And everything else 45 is doing to ruin the country beyond repair.
ReplyDeleteThe rental ad... love your interpretation. I think I finally cracked it, too: The original text somehow flipped into Webding font. (I checked, and some of the symbols are definitely webdings; others look like wingdings, with the odd exception of 'grand.' Who knows? I was hoping the entire sequence would be webdings just so I could work out what it really was, lol).
The Death sign... my first thought was honestly that someone was slowly moving on to another world. Or that the moribund family member was somehow on display... so... slow down so you can have a look and thanks for stopping by?! SMH. (I only recently found out that "SMH" was "scratching my head." I am not too quick with all the acronyms currently out there.)
Ortizzle--I wondered if it was a Webding/Wingding Thing, too, and if it would get corrected, but it ran for several days just like that. That, and the addition of plain old letters and the phone number made me wonder if it wasn't Something Else, now that Backpage is shut down. There's no telling what that ad could REALLY be.
DeleteRE: "SMH"--I always thought it was "Shaking My Head" as in shaking it as if you cannot believe something. A quick search of Prof. Google seems to bear that out.
I would really, really love it if your interpretation of the Death Sign were correct: that it serves as a sort of Drive-Thru Viewing Alert. Not that I would take part, but how fantastic would THAT be right there in the neighborhood? We really ARE making America...oh, never mind.
Ha, ha. Don't know why I remembered it as 'scratching' instead of 'shaking' (probably because I think I literally scratch my head more than I shake it!). Re: Drive-Thru Viewing... this actually exists (shudder)! https://tinyurl.com/y3tc24x7
DeleteOrtizzle--There you go! America. There is nothing we won't McDonaldize. Or Spray-cheesify. We are a caricature.
DeleteI wonder if they lost a dear pet to a speeding driver, that would be a death in the fanily.
ReplyDeleteMeredith--It certainly would be. That's an interesting take on the sign. Around here, the spot where a death occurred on a particular road is marked with a little unofficial roadside monument, usually erected by the family. It often contains fake flowers, weatherbeaten stuffed animals, etc. A sign like this might be serving the same purpose.
DeleteThey might be having the reception and/or funeral at the house? Puzzling. I have been chewing that one over for several days. You will be glad to know that my neighbour has taken down his Trump sign and his 'Get England out of Canada' sign and is selling his hovel. Yeah!
ReplyDeleteGlad to know about SMH.
Mary G--But why must I drive by it slowly? I think I'll have a sign made that says SLOW. MIGRAINE IN PROGRESS. THANK YOU.
DeleteGoodness! A 45* fan in Ontario. Blech. We just returned from Niagara-on-the-Lake, and didn't hear of any favour for him. Imagine! I guess your neighbour realizes that his extreme views won't add to the value of his house. Or his real estate agent does, anyway. Glad you're to be rid of him soon.
Hope you're feeling much better! Drop me an email and let me know how the knee's doing.
That sign must be a southern thing. - I've seen it all my life. I'm just glad that I get to continue moving - because if they were headed to the cemetery we would just have to stop until everyone in the cortege went by.
ReplyDeleteI am so ready to vote for any functioning adult! Or even someone at around 80%.
Bug--This sign was sent to me by a friend who now lives in North Carolina. She was quite taken with it, as a native Ohioan. Thank you for telling us that it is A Southern Thing. But I am still thunderstruck by it. Completely.
DeleteWe also wait for a funeral procession to pass--as you must know from your time in OH--and this is sometimes ensured by an actual person who steps out and stops traffic until all the flag-bearing cars go by (at an extremely slow pace). I've not seen a funeral procession in a very long time, come to think of it. Or a hearse. But then, I do not attend funerals.
I agree with Bug. The death sign has been around as long as I can remember, so perhaps it is a Southern Thing. The cars do indeed slow down and usually look for the wreath of white flowers on the door and the guest book on a podium on the front porch. The sign is always black and white and is typically placed only at the home where the relatives are gathering. In the past, it was common for the deceased to be brought back to the home where someone would remain in attendance the entire time. Friends would come to view the deceased, bringing casseroles or desserts for the family and visitors. The dishes usually had the name of the person written on a piece of masking tape so the dish could be returned. Now it is more common for the body to remain at the funeral home until the funeral. What I have described is primarily for Christians and is different for other religions.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is wonderful for the phones and even the latest generation iPods to have good cameras. But I still cling to my Nikkon, especially with the long-distance lens.
NCmountainwoman--It truly is, then, a Southern Thing. Goodness.
DeleteI have to say that the Southern Wake is far more hospitable than the Northern version, wherein the bereaved family is put upon to plan and supply all the food. It's one of the reasons I eschew all funeral stuff. Grief should be personal and private and not a public business, at least for me. My father's--19 years ago--is still a fresh hell.
This is not completely about death sign, but gives you a good idea of our Southern Thing about death. It is Jeannie Robertson, one of our native humorists. I think you will find a chuckle or two.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFRUSTiFUs
NCmountainwoman--Thank you for the link. She is very entertaining. Loved her whole delivery.
DeleteI read the sign as there is a slow death going on in the family.......Im just a nurse always Nance. Death of what? Death of a relationship? Death of a beloved pet? Death of a human being? Why is that sign necessary? I don't like it. Are we supposed to throw a casserole out the window? Oh thats sounds so harsh....
ReplyDeletekathy b--I'm laughing at you, driving by and heaving a hot dish out the side of the car. What a funny mental picture!
DeleteThe Any Functioning Adult in 2020 Sign is so True, that will be my personal Voting strategy! There is a slow death in their Family... how Funny... because that's how I read it... but then, I have a gallow's sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteBohemian--Signage has its own sort of Punctuation, and it lends itself to all sorts of odd readings. I think this whole discussion is gallows humour!
Delete