Monday, August 12, 2013

And Now, A Public Service Announcement For My Readers

The Dept. of Nance prides itself on being a timely commentary on our Culture (or, in some cases, our Lack Thereof).  That alone is a Public Service.  Today, however, the Dept. is providing you with a Consumer Alert! so that you can begin preparations for the imminent demise of some products currently available on your local marketplace shelves.

How am I in possession of this Closely Held Knowledge? you may ask.  Based upon my personal history, I can accurately predict which products will be discontinued, pulled from the NEO market region, reformulated, or sold only in certain warehouse clubs of which I am not a member or are not located in the Midwest.  This has happened to most of the products I have developed a bedrock loyalty to, that have made me happy, that have solved a problem for me, that made my hair look wonderful consistently, or have merely been a damned good product for the price.

Did you ever use/love/eat/cook with/depend upon:  Garnier Fructis Body Boost Hair Gel?  Bath & Body Works Breathe Comfort Vanilla Milk Scent?  Mr. Yoshida's Gourmet Sauce?  Reynolds Plastic Wrap?  Flex Shampoo?  The Original Herbal Essence Shampoo? Aziza Mascara? Olay face soap?  Purina One for Overweight Cats?

Well, NOT ANYMORE!  Gone. Done. Discontinued or Reformulated into useless crap. 

I know because I loved them and used them all, only to sadly bid them goodbye.  First, there were marvelous markdowns; then, they became difficult to find; and, in the final stages of their death throes, I'd find stashes of them at discount grocers and dollar stores.  It was So Sad.  So Terribly Sad.

Get ready.  Here is the latest roundup of products that I have loved too deeply and now must lose:

1.  KC Masterpiece Teriyaki Marinade
2. Trader Joe's Meyer Lemon Cookie Thins
3.  Contadina Extra Thick n Zesty tomato sauce
4.  Bertolli EV olive oil

1.  Organix Cherry Blossom & Ginseng shampoo
2.  Garnier Fructis HiRise root lifter
3.  TreSemme Superior Hold hairspray #4
4.  Clear Care contact lens solution

1. Awesome

Allow me a brief commentary for each section. 

While I certainly can and often do make my own teriyaki marinade, I don't always feel like it or have all of the ingredients.  KC Masterpiece is the only one I have found to have the taste I like without being overly salty or fake-tasting.  It also makes a decent stirfry sauce base if you add it at the last minute as a glaze.  This has disappeared at the local chain and suddenly appeared at the discount grocery.  And if some of you have not yet tried TJ's Meyer Lemon thins, go now and get a box.  Holy crap, are they good.  Crazy good.

I am painfully and mortifyingly aware that the preponderance of my health and beauty aids are for my hair.  Currently, I am ignoring my hair, in that I am not going to the salon and am trimming my own bangs.  I saw my stylist about a month ago, and she said, "Oh, are you growing out?"  I said, "I have no idea what I'm doing."  (Sadly, this is true of about 85% of my life at present.  I'm leading a Nike-Inspired existence in that I'm Just Doing It.) Anyway, if it were not for the three products above, I would not leave the house.  And I blame Shirley for leaving the Organix in my shower last year when I visited.  She is my Shampoo Pusher, and now I am hooked.

Finally, we here at the Dept. are just as environmentally conscious as the next person as long as that person is not wearing hemp capris and shoes made from recycled soda bottles.  But there is only so much that vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice can be relied upon to do.  What's left is handled by a spray or two of Awesome.  Got a bloodstain on your towel? Awesome will remove it immediately.  Got a grease splatter from stirfry that the dryer set in?  Awesome will take it out.  Is there mildew all over your patio furniture?  Awesome.  Ink on your car seat?  Awesome.  Wine on the tablecloth?  Awesome.  I am not kidding you, this stuff is...awesome.  AND IT IS ONLY A DOLLAR for a 16-oz. bottle.  Oh, it's probably loaded with awful chemicals, but holy crap.  It's nuts how great it works.  And I personally used it for all of the above scenarios. 

It is only a matter of moments now before these wonderful products will be gone.  (Look what happened to the Mars bar.  Not even available in the USA.  And I loved them oh so much.)  You know I'm right.  It's happened to you.  Tell me all about it in Comments. 

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  1. Seriously? Reynold's Foil Wrap is gone? (I have two boxes of it in our pantry!) The exit from which I am still recovering is that of Reynold's Plastic Wrap. I use to buy it in red and green, but I think it came in blue and yellow, too. No matter. What was wonderful about it was this: it could cling to anything! I cannot fathom why such an effective product disappeared from stores. Now, "Glad" offers this horrendous stuff that is coated with some kind of adhesive on one side. It leaves residue on whatever it is placed, and I am certain consumers will learn sometime in the near future that it is toxic. Then, of course, the useless, un-clinging "Saran Wrap" is still in stores, but I am unable to offer a smart ass comment as to why THAT is so. FYI: the Vermont Country Store usually features Herbal Essence in its catalogues. You will also find many blasts from the past in there, but the shipping and handling charges are outrageous. Sigh....

  2. Bookster--Yikes. I did mean PLASTIC WRAP, and have since corrected the post. I, too, loved it, especially the packaging because it came with a very sensible and efficient cutting bar with little slider thingy. I actually emailed them about why they were no longer making the plastic wrap. "Lack of consumer interest" was their response. Thanks for the tip on Herbal Essence, but like you, I writhe under S&H charges.

  3. Olay used to make a blemish control moisturizer that I LOVED. And then they stopped - I was so sad, but my face was even more bereft. Fortunately they still make the blemish control cleanser, and I found an Aveeno moisturizer that works just as well. But the bigger question here is WHY DO I STILL NEED THESE PRODUCTS AT 49 YEARS OF AGE???

  4. Anonymous2:18 PM

    Thank you for this update about what will disappear next. I'm glad that you stepped forward to write this PSA.

    All of which begs the question: Why must this happen??? Shopping is annoying enough without good products disappearing willy-nilly from the shelves.

    [Or being repackaged under a slightly different name. Hate that, too.]

  5. Friskies Dental Diet dry cat food. Now I have to buy the Science Diet Oral Care which costs four times as much.

    and April Body Butter moisturizer. Best (and cheapest - it was sold at the dollar store) moisturizer EVER - it had the consistency of grout.

    oh! And when I was a kid, Friehofer's made birthday cakes. So good.

    And now they're gone. *sob*

  6. rockygrace--Hi, and thanks for commenting here at the Dept. Isn't cat food getting ridiculous? Even so-called store specialty brands are high-priced. It all costs more per pound than steak.

    Here in the Cleveland area, people are still mourning the demise of Hough Bakeries, whose birthday cakes remain legendary. So, we understand.

    Ally Bean--You're welcome. Another major annoyance is the disappearance of full-size containers of things like coffee, ice cream, mayo/Miracle Whip, etc. I'm sick of paying premium prices for less than 3 lbs. or a half-gallon, etc. NO ONE IS FOOLING ME.

    The Bug--But you should not have to have "found something that works just as well." I used to use Olay facial cleansing BAR SOAP. It was wonderful. Now, tough for me. They only make a foaming cleanser or towelettes. Both of which are prohibitively priced. So, I had to find something else too because their bar soap is full of shea butter and all kinds of oily crap. Now, as far as why you, on the cusp of 50, still get zits? I hate to hurt your feelings, but I am 54, sneaking out of The Menopause, and still get a few here and there as my hormones do the Dance Of Death. I'm sorry, but it's better that you know now and have time for Acceptance.

  7. Nance and Bug, far be it from me to rain on either of your facial parades...However, I am SIXTY-TWO, and I am convinced I am the oldest "ProActive" customer that company has. Their products keep my skin blemish-free until I stop using them. Even an occasional pimple at this stage of the hormonal game seems like some sort of weird penance for unknown sins. Go figure.

  8. Thanks for the tip on the teriyaki. I like teriyaki once in awhile, but haven't been able to find a decent recipe or a bottled sauce.

    For hair, I'm fond of Biolage. I buy the shampoo at a beauty supply, and for the conditioner, I buy a generic version that they sell at Bed Bath and Beyond, which is perhaps even better than the regular.

  9. J@jj--If you make your own, try adding some beer. It makes a nice difference.

    My teriyaki recipe varies, depending upon what I have in the fridge. If we happen to have oranges, I put that in. Limes, then they go in. Always lots of fresh grated ginger, always garlic, always hot pepper flakes or now, thanks to my garden flourishing, fresh jalapenos or cayennes.

    (Spell check just redlined "cayennes". Ok.

    Bookster--But your skin is GORGEOUS. ProActiv should know about you. You'd sell a ton of product for them.

  10. Thanks, Nance! I've used ProActiv for about ten years, so one would think I would have known better to have included a silent "e" in the spelling of it in my previous post! (Oh, no! What if the trade off for great skin is weakened proofreading skills?) this piece. Thanks for being outraged. Sometimes, I fear I am the only one railing against corporations! lol

  11. Try only being in the States for 3-4 weeks once a year and spending hours searching desperately for products you are dependent on and that have Mysteriously Disappeared while you were overseas. I speak from experience, having spent most of my recent home leave searching fruitlessly for a certain L'oreal hair putty (don't ask) that was apparently 86d as soon as I left the country. The worst part is that I have only a short time to: 1)pick a replacement product, 2)decide if I like it; and 3) stock up for the coming year. At least you can see the writing on the wall and do some hoarding.
    Oh, and as far as Teriyaki marinade goes, may I recommend 'Very Teriyaki' by a company called 'Soy Vey'? (Jewish Guy +Asian Girl formed a company) It's our favorite, available at most grocery stores in the US and (I think) Trader Joe's. At least it was as of late July, but I can't promise anything.

  12. MsCaroline--Oh, I'll bet THAT's frustrating, indeed. So, what did you stock up on, then? Anything interesting?

    I used to use Soy Vey a long time ago. I wonder why I stopped. I know it's fairly expensive here compared to everything else, so that might be why. It was hard to find for a while too. But you're right; their stuff is v. good.

    Bookster--Thanks for the kind words. Let's work hard to get together. It's my turn to host. Take a look at your calendar and email me some dates.

  13. Nance, I just posted a question to you regarding your helpful Leaf link on my blog. :)


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