Sunday, March 12, 2006

My Generalized Malaise Has a Definite Source

I'm having a hard time. I'd like to be able to blame it on the weather. (And I could, too. After all, I live in northeast Ohio; here, winter drags on and on from late October into mid- to late April. That's a half-year of winter for those of you scoring at home.) I could even try blaming it on a late Easter and hence, a tardy spring break. So long before I get a break from school and teaching my sophomores and juniors! But I can't do that this time. No, this generalized malaise is due to one thing and one thing only.

I am suffering from Project Runway withdrawal.

Those of you who followed Bravo's reality show know exactly what I mean. What are we to do now every Wednesday night? More importantly, what will we talk about now on Thursdays with our colleagues? (And don't even try offering up "Top Chef" as a consolation! Pfffft. I caught parts of "Top Chef." It's no "Hell's Kitchen", let me tell you.)

To make matters worse for me during my withdrawal, I was a Daniel V. fan. I know! He should have won! He won more individual challenges; he was adorable; his clothes were more polished; he had great cheekbones; his work was always finished beautifully; he was cute; he was so much more professional; he looked beautiful even when he had his hair up like Samurai Designer...!! Daniel V. was the odds-on favorite, the golden boy, and even he looked stunned when he didn't win.

The winner was a designer who already has her own shop in Houston, Texas where, judging by her fashion collection, the women prefer clothes made of stiff satin cut in the style of 1980s prom queens where the theme of the night is "Return to the Set of the Television Show Dallas" meets Upholstered Sluts. Since I am an avowed Daniel V. fan, I will not even mention her name. She is dead to me. (Insert gesture of me forking her with the evil eye.) This designer has won $100K seed money-- and her big plans? To stay in Houston and expand her already successful boutique. Oh boy. Dare to dream.

Not that I am bitter.

Sigh. I hate getting emotionally invested in things and then being disappointed. It's bad enough being a teacher--that comes with the territory. But living in the Cleveland area, our sports teams make this a tradition: the Browns, the Indians, the Cavaliers. We keep getting set up for disappointment. And no, you never get used to it. Now, sweet little Daniel V. on Project Runway, who looked like a winner, gets robbed. Victory snatched from the jaws of...what? what would be analagous in fashion? Pinking shears? A presser foot? Whatever. Just look at this face and tell me that it alone wasn't enough:

This is the face of a young man who is thoughtful about his fashion! He will not stop until we women look beautiful all of the time! And he lost, America. HE LOST. And I am sad. We all should be.

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