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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

In the Bathroom


I find myself thinking about bathroom habits lately, mainly because I have to yell at my 18-year old on a daily basis to get in there and put the cap back on the toothpaste and hang the towel back up. Each time he goes back in there and does those things, I assess the general area and marvel again at how much I hate cleaning the bathroom and also at how much hair there is in the sink. Blondes must have it easier in that regard: you probably never really notice it in there.

Anyway, I sometimes think about married couples sharing a bathroom who don't mind it when one spouse is in the bathroom, say, brushing his teeth while the other is actually using the toilet. That has never once happened in the going-on-25-years of marriage in the Dept., let me assure you. I find that to be an absolutely non-negotiable item. That is just way too much ugly intimacy for me. That is a surefire way to "take the bloom off the rose" in any relationship, if you ask me. You might as well just throw up all over him. (Or her. As the case may be.) No one needs to see that. I even offer an objection when Travis and Emily (the cats) wander in while I am occupied in that manner. I tried to think back if my husband and I ever even talked about this issue and formally set this boundary early in our relationship. I couldn't remember if we really discussed it, or if it just became a common understanding between us, like so many issues in a marriage do, such as who takes out the garbage and who is in charge of getting stamps and the fact that there will never be dogs involved in any way and things like that. But regardless of how the treaty was reached, it has never been broken. And it never will be.

The toilet paper will also always flop over the roll and not under it. I will never have any reading material in the bathroom that is expressly for the bathroom. (Currently, there is a collection of Flannery O'Connor's short stories.) Even when I am home alone, I shut the door firmly when I am in the bathroom. I never sing in the shower, but I heartily enjoy it when the rest of my family belt out tunes in their showers.

I wonder if people's bathroom habits are indicative of their personalities in general. That particular bathroom time is about the only thing my husband and I don't share, so overgeneralizing here would be dangerous. And I don't think I want to invite everyone to tell me their water closet proclivities. Unless of course, they really feel they need to.

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