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Monday, October 03, 2005

DoN Wants YOU

Everyone hates whiny English teachers who bitch about poor spellers and random apostrophe usage; I do both. I whine and hate the whiners amongst us. But I am enlisting DoN readers out there to help me, right this minute, with the following infractions that I just don't think I can stand any longer. Divide yourselves into teams if you must.

1. The saying is "intents and purposes" NOT "intensive purposes", as in "George Bush is, for all intents and purposes, a murderer."

2. The word is "sophomore" NOT "southmore" which is not a word.

3. The word is "pedestal" NOT "peddlestool", as in "For some inane reason, George Bush has put Karl Rove up on a pedestal of virtue and will not see his blame in the Plame case."

4. The word is "regardless" NOT "irregardless" which is not a word and is only mentioned in a modern dictionary or dictionary.com because it has lapsed into incorrect and nonstandard usage, as in "George Bush has nominated another of his buddies for an important office in government, regardless of the fact that she has absolutely no experience or qualifications."

5. The saying is "I couldn't care less" NOT "I could care less" which would mean that you could, in fact, care even a little bit less than you do now, which would then be in no way an insult.
DUH. The correct usage would be "I couldn't care less that George Bush and his wife are having marital problems; she is an idiot for marrying into that family in the first place."

Help me, DoN readers! Start small; resort to small weapons only as need dictates, and even then, rubber band snapping only.

6 comments:

  1. As a former English teacher myself, I do appreciate this little list. I especially love #4, which is a huge pet peeve of mine because I hear it all the damn time! However, I don't understand #5. How is "could not" different from "couldn't"? I always thought "couldn't" was simply "could not" without the "o," in other words, a contraction of "could not." So whassup there?

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  2. I'm with ambimb on #5. Check out this site for the full text of Paul Brians' Common Errors in English Usage. Great as a humorous reference, or if you're a total nerd like me, you can read it straight through. Enjoy!

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  3. Holy Cow! Thanks, ambib and sui generis, for catching my sloppy posting. Shows you just what the oxycontin is doing to me. Of course, I meant to post "could care less" for the egregious error in #5. It's been corrected and I am offering a huge thank you to you both. I hope my context proved what I meant to say.

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  4. Yeah, I realized after I made such a big deal out of it that it was just a typo. My bad.

    I heart English teachers!

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  5. Re: #2, a colleague's peeve is the misspelling "sophmore". He tells his kids, "Remember, inside every sophomore is a homo." Well, he can get away with it...

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Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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