Thursday, May 14, 2020

Holy Crap, We Are Old Now


Scene opens on the living room. Rick is in his chair, researching something with his laptop. Nance sits on the couch with her laptop open, reading the newspaper online. Behind her are perched the two cats, mildly interested in what lies outside the window. Maybe.

Rick: So if we have Amazon Prime, we have Amazon Music, right?

Nance: Yes. Which reminds me, earlier this week, when I was coming home from the store, I had the radio on, and--

Rick: (whole face brightens; looks doubly interested) I can't believe I just heard that.

Nance: I know, right? *I* was listening to the radio. Did you know you can change stations right on the steering wheel? I just discovered that. There's a little button right on board, and--

Rick: Haven't you been reading the book? I thought you said you would read the book.

Nance: I have been, but it's terrible. It's all over the place.

Rick: And it's vague.

Nance: Yes. It's vague. Anyway, I had the radio on, and Lose Yourself by Eminem came on, so I cranked it up.

Rick: (grinning and wholly amused) I cannot believe what I'm hearing right now. Go on.

Nance: What? That I like that song or that I cranked it up?

Rick: All of it. Go ahead.

Nance: By the way, you can crank it up using the same button that changes the stations. So, I'm blasting Eminem and doing some car dancing and it's really alleviating my stress from shopping, and then it's over. The next song is some boring song by Diplo and somebody.

Rick: Who? Who is that? I never heard of him.

Nance: Not important. Anyway, I don't feel like listening to that, so I switch stations and try to find something else. I find something briefly, then I decide to go back to the original station, figuring Diplo is about done. Next thing I know, here comes Eminem with Lose Yourself again!

Rick: What the heck?

Nance: I know! So I crank it back up and car dance like crazy. All I can think is that a lot of these stations are automated now. They don't even have DJs anymore, just preprogrammed lists and ads and it's all autopilot. It's probably a glitch in the program. So as I'm sitting at the light acting like some hyped-up senior from 2002 on the last day of school--in my Prius--I'm laughing and wondering if the next song is going to be Diplo again.

Rick: And?

Nance: I was already pulling into the driveway, but I actually sat in the garage and waited to see if Diplo was next. It wasn't. They must have fixed that glitch. But now that I'm thinking of it, I want that song on my phone. The Eminem one. I'm going to download it now. (looks at Rick, who is shaking his head and laughing) What?

Rick: Just...everything. All of it.

Nance:  I know. It's a lot.

End scene.

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28 comments:

  1. Enimen and Diplo? I listen to Sirius XM most of the time and I pick specific channels that do not embrace the brave new world of your music. I live happily in my world of jazz and blues and rock. Old songs you know, for a woman who is getting older every day she is in self-quaratine.

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    1. Ally Bean--Sirius is a waste of money for me. I rarely listen to music, in or out of the car. I have lots and lots of music on my phone, curated by me, and I can just play that through my car's audio system. And the preponderance of it is WAY older than Eminem. (By about 30 years or more.)

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  2. You want old? I got hearing aids this fall and am now able to state with authority that modern music sucks because the sound mix drowns out the words. It is not my ears, it is the deplorable style. And my car plays in stereo. Wow, eh. That is what hearing aids do for you, among other things. I can, sigh, hear what my husband says too. Um, Ally, rock was new when I was an early teen. How old is that?

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    1. Mary--No, I most certainly do NOT want old. LOL. And I agree with you that I find that many current singers difficult to understand. Few enunciate very much; sometimes the overlay of the sound does seem to drown them out. Part of it is our older hearing, I'm sure. But I hear Eminem's words in that song perfectly fine. (But I still prefer the Beatles, who landed Stateside when I was merely a primary schooler.)

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    2. I was a young mother when the Beatles got to North America. Go figure.

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  3. LOL

    One of my favorite Florida memories --- top down, coming off the interstate, radio on (LOUD) --- Pink Floyd. I'm sure someone look over and thought --------------wow, she's OLD! (I felt like a teen again.)

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    1. Dee--WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION! Pink Floyd is on my phone and gets cranked every now and again, too! LOL. And let 'em look. We need to recapture our youth whenever we can!

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  4. I was in the car this week for the first time in weeks and it reminded me of how much I miss my Sirius-XM. I have Amazon Prime in the house but never use the music because it's not loud enough.

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    1. Jean--Oh, isn't it so odd how little we drive these days? Once I get in, I sometimes feel like just going anyplace in order to stay out of the house. I want to just drive and go look at something that isn't four walls.

      As I said to Ally, I ignored the offer of Sirius XM. I just don't listen to the radio very often at all.

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  5. Friends loaned us their car last year when we were in a pinch. I kept thinking , How do they get these great channels? How come I can't? DUh. They have Sirius Xm. Im too cheap. But I still have a CD player in our truck and I bring our music along even for short runs. I have enough news and I MISS BASEBALL!!!!

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    1. kathy b--I'm with you: I'm not going to pay for radio, especially when I use it rarely and have my own curated music on my phone that's so easily played through my car's audio. And can use Pandora or I Heart Radio, too.

      I'm not a baseball fan (or listener), but I know of plenty who are and I know they are feeling lost without it. Even you Cubby fans (and I was one of those, too, decades ago)!

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  6. Whenever I hear "Lose yourself" on the radio, I always have to do that fist wave thing that they did in the movie. EVERY TIME! and I am OLD! but... "opportunity comes once in a lifetime!" Now I will have that song in my head today! Thanks for the post!

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    1. Ellen--I never even saw the movie, but I do like that song! Glad you liked the post, and I'm glad you get a chance to appreciate the song again.

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  7. When I listen to music it's always stuff I've downloaded to my phone - and it's all about 30 years old because I haven't gotten anything new in YEARS. This is because I figured out that if I listen to music I drive like a cranky maniac. There is lots of cursing & tailgating & whipping around poor unsuspecting farmers. I'm a menace! The only thing that makes me drive in any kind of safe manner is listening to audiobooks. Although I have been known to speed if it's a murder mystery.

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    1. Bug--I have some kinda newish music on my phone, but not much. Unlike you, I can get cranky behind the wheel no matter if I listen to NPR, music, or nothing. I can be a reactive driver if I'm not careful. I'm not as bad as I used to be, however.

      My new Prius actually gives me a grade on my driving. That is very motivating to me. It has calmed down a great deal of my poor driving behaviours, like jackrabbit starts. Probably after the newness wears off, I'll go back to my old self, though, and not care about my GPA.

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  8. I like that story. And I like that song, too.

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    1. Minerva--Good! I don't like very many of Eminem's songs, but that one, I do.

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  9. You made me laugh. First of all I have no idea who Diplo is, and frankly anyone else these days. For some reason I am now getting People magazine, which I have never ordered. And when I occasionally look at it I have no idea who 90% of the people are. Which makes me feel very old. Still I can now work my Roku TV so that is something!

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    1. Meredith--Glad you got a laugh! That's terrific.

      The only reason I know who anyone is? I take the dumb quizzes on Buzzfeed.com, and that website exposes me to lots of younger celebrities. I honestly don't know anyone in New Hollywood or (heaven help us) the world of social media influencers (and why is that even a thing?). And yes, I do feel old when I look at who the new movie stars are. (Or aren't.)

      I'm a master of the Roku now! I bet you learned more quickly than I did.

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  10. Ditto on not knowing who Diplo is, but the visual of you cranking up Eminem and car dancing at the stoplight... made me burst out laughing. Great way to release all the tension we accumulate these days, too. I need to try me some car dancing...

    I also love it when I discover some new function on a car or tech device. (Well, more like tech device--- my car is very basic and very old--- no fancy perks there.) The day I discovered what you can do with the snipping tool on the computer was life-altering, though. I would be so lost without that if they got rid of it!

    SIDEBAR: Updating my mail filter for your blog page worked!! Got an email about this post and it also went straight into my "Nance" folder. Yay! (And yes, it came through yesterday when you posted... just haven't had time to comment until now. In fact, I need to get back to online essay grading... )

    Keep on truckin' and car dancin' ... XXOO

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    1. Ortizzle--So glad you're back up to speed on all things Nance. That you have a folder for me flatters me to no end.

      My car is vastly too techy for me. It's at turns annoying and intimidating. But I will learn it. It was not my idea to give up my 2010 Prius.

      I highly recommend the Car Dance. On those rare occasions when I do it, it's a fantastic stress-buster, the residual effect of which can last long into whichever task needs completing well after you exit your car.

      Stay strong through that grading. I do NOT miss those days at all. XXOO

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    2. My husband subscribes to the full Sirius XM. He listens only to NPR and the classical CDs he downloaded to his car. When I asked why he doesn't choose a less expensive series that still includes NPR, he said it was just easier to renew than change. I have a more limited subscription that still gives me more than I listen to (sorry Joel Osteen, you didn't make the cut). When I get into the car, I buckle up, start the engine, and turn on the music in that order. I have an iPod just for the car. In the house I almost always have music playing softly in the background.

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    3. Carolyn--I know you love your music! I'm just not that way. I find it too distracting. Even in the grocery store or in a restaurant, I'm always aware that it's there, every single minute, noting what the song is, or even remembering snippets of lyrics, following along. I can't stop my brain from doing it.

      My husband loves music and often has an earbud in one ear as he goes about his projects around the house or is getting dressed. I'm sure he'd love it playing more often throughout the house, but in deference to me, he plays it privately.

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    4. I'm with you about the music in stores, especially the grocery store. For the most part I want only MY music, the exception being live music in an upscale restaurant.

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  11. Nothing can change your mood like a great song while driving. Dance driving is my best go-to cardio.
    I love how you two converse; that takes time and patience to get it just right.

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    1. Busy Bee Suz--Hello, and welcome to the Dept.!

      You're right. A good song can definitely help a lot after some stressful pandemic shopping. I felt like driving a lot further than just back home.

      After over forty years of being together and almost that many of marriage, we've settled into a nice rhythm. And it's often alarming how many times we are thinking (and about to say) the very same things.

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  12. The music that I like really sets a mood but I don’t subscribe to any of the various ones. Occasionally hear some artists and tunes From all the decades that I enjoy but primarily respond to jazz, blues, classical. My son often introduced me to music he thought I’d like which is how I found Pink Floyd years ago. Now that he’s not here I’m really out of touch with some of the newer artists and sounds.

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    1. Joared--Jazz is something I've never warmed to. It's too random and cacophanous for me. Once in a while I'll hear some light or smooth jazz and appreciate it in a film or in a restaurant for setting a mood, but not enough to own any.

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