Thursday, August 31, 2017

Time Flies When You're...Anyway, The Dept. Of Nance Is Twelve!

Guess what? The Dept. of Nance is Twelve! Once again, I almost missed it. Twelve Augusts ago, The Dept. of Nance was born, and Twelve Augusts later, it's still here. Lots of things come in Twelves, like the Days Of Christmas (a truly annoying song, even when sung by the Muppets), the Disciples, the months in a year, the hours on a clock, the signs of the Zodiac, and the steps in the Alcoholics Anonymous Program. And since twelve things make a dozen, some really nice things come in Twelves, too, like roses and eggs and, for some of you, doughnuts (ugh--you all know how I feel about those).

But I don't feel inspired by any of those things. Right now, I feel a little like a Twelve-Year-Old. Sorta in-betweenish. Sorta like I don't fit into a category. Sorta like I Don't Wanna And You Can't Make Me-ish. Kinda like I'm too old for a babysitter, but I would love the company.


So rather than some sort of Creative Twelve Post, here are some Random 12 Lists.

12 Foods I Need To Live

1. Butter
2. Olive Oil
3. Tomatoes
4. Potatoes
5. Pasta
6. Coffee
7. Wine
8. Basil
9. Chicken
10.Half + Half
11.Plain Greek Yogurt

12 Things I Alternately Hate And Love

1. Driving
2. Grocery Shopping
3. Knitting
4. The Cats
5. The Internet
6. Smartphones
7. Other People
8. Summer
9. Air Conditioning
10.Potato Chips
11.Mary Worth Comic Strip

12 Shows That I Cannot Believe Are Still On TV

1. The Bachelor
2. The Bachelorette
3. The Real Housewives Of________
4. Family Feud
5. Family Guy
6. Hell's Kitchen
7. Today with Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb
8. Harry
9. General Hospital
10.Days of Our Lives
11.The Young and the Restless
12.The Bold and the Beautiful

12 Cravings I've Had This Week

1. Cake
2. Palmiers
3. Thick-cut French Fries
4. Chinese Food
5. Twist Ice Cream Cone
6. Refried Beans
7. Cheeseburger
8. Bad Mexican Food
9. Frosted Sugar Cooky
11.Italian Food
12.Root Beer

12 Things People Said To Me Lately

1. Comparison really is the theft of Joy.
2. Why do you care?
3. Thanks for making the effort!
4. Do you know how to work an iPhone?
5. I think our naked rats were my favourite pets of all.
6. We're probably more like our father in that respect.
7. Don't overdo it and wear yourself out today.
8. You're wearing your red glasses today! They're my favourite.
9. Can you recommend a good red wine for me and my girlfriend to try?
10.You eat bread?! That's a huge disappointment to me.
11.I'm trying not to get too excited, but I had a second interview today.
12.And I'm like, how much are we willing to invest in a 12-year old cat?

12 Things I Refuse To Give Up On

1. Reading
2. Cat Hair Mitigation
3. Contact Lenses
4. Knitting
5. My Country
6. The Resistance
7. Learning Patience
8. My Streamlining/Decluttering Mission
9. My Search for the Perfect Sandal
10.My Search for Red Leather Boots
11.My Hair
12.My Campaign Against Rampant Abuse of The Language

12 Things That Always Make Me Happy

1. Bunnies
2. Zydrunas
3. Napoleon Dynamite
4. The (new) Gong Show
5. Slow mornings with cats and coffee and The Plain Dealer
6. St. Patsy's text message emoji parades
7. Wine tastings with Rick
8. Sunset boat rides with our buddies J and J
9. Falling asleep and missing the end of Dateline
10.Listening to Jared and Sam tease each other
11.When Rick asks, "Want me to run a tubby for you?"
12.Fleece blankets

It's been a very satisfying Twelve Years for me here at the Dept. I consider it a privilege to have a two-way Writer's Relationship with many of my Readers, via Comments. That interaction is quite important to me. Thank you, and thank you to all who read me, however you read me. I hope it is a relationship that continues for years to come.

Won't you all add your own stuff to the Lists Of 12 Things, too, in Comments? And make your way to the Celebratory Desserts Table, where there is something sure to appeal to you (and disappoint the same person who I saddened with my Bread Consumption).


  1. Congratulations! Twelve years in a long time at the same blog. (I've had three blogs over seventeen years. So I know something about the ebbs and tides of keeping yourself motivated.)

    I had to laugh at your list of foods you need to live without because only one of those things would be on mine---coffee. Here's my list of comfort foods: Kraft orange slice candy, Scottie Dog licorice, chocolate, ice cream, bread, milk, and bread pudding. Thankfully, most of the time I don't have these in house often except for the milk and chocolate.

    1. Jean R--Thanks! This is one of three blogs I've had over the past 12 years, and the only one that is still current. I had a lot of fun with one that got a lot of national and international press/media exposure, and really enjoyed one that I co-wrote for a while with my eldest son, Jared. That one was nothing but lists like these. You can see both by clicking on their links in my sidebar, under Read Me Here, Too.

      My list of Foods I Need To Live was a list of foods that are kind of my basic necessities. That's why there weren't really any "fun" things on there. I've noticed, however, in contrast to your list, that I've kind of gotten off most sweets and snacky things lately. Even my former Best Friends, chocolate and Nutella. I might get a craving once in a while, but rarely act on them.

      Rick, however, is big on a few of yours like ice cream, bread pudding, and orange slice candies. He likes the cherry Twizzlers for licorice, though. I would probably buy anything Scottie Dog shaped, just for the Cute Factor.

  2. Ha! - Jean & I are are more alike in our foods we can't live without, although I tried a new diet regimen lately that made me TOTALLY LOSE MY APPETITE! I barely got 900 calories a day, which I know isn't sustainable - my doctor was just trying to get me to lose some weight before my surgery. Anyway, I lost my sweet tooth while I was on that regimen - it was like a Christmas miracle.

    I'm eating a peach right now! And an apple, and some watermelon. OK, I am eating a fruit salad.

    Here is a list of 12 cold hard facts about having hip surgery:

    1. Compression stockings are the devil.
    2. Sure, fine, I can sleep on my back while I'm taking narcotics, but I think I have to do it for 6 weeks, and I am NOT taking a narcotic for that long.
    3. Narcotics have a bad bowel rap for GOOD REASON.
    4. Do your physical therapy exercises! They hurt, but the hip doesn't hurt, and you need to build up muscle to learn to walk straight again (except I never have been able to walk straight).
    5. The grabber they gave me in the hospital is a gift from God. Truly.
    6. Keep track of how hard your care-giver is working to take care of you and plan your gratitude payback accordingly.
    7. It is not unreasonable to need to do NonBrain things for 80% of your day. Give yourself a break!
    8 It is fine to fantasize about kicking the walker to the curb, but be prepared for your doctor to tell you that you have to use it for another 4 weeks.
    9. Remember from last time that using a cane is almost MORE annoying than using a walker, so just hold your horses Betsy.
    10. If there's a next time, it might behoove one to clip one's toenails before the surgery.
    11. Consider choosing the more premium health care plan during open enrollment this year.
    12. If you can, live near family and friends so you can be pampered.

    I just noticed that I drifted from first person to third person up there. I think I can still blame the narcotics, right?

    1. Bug--LOL on the Christmas Miracle comment. I use that designation All The Time!

      I just bought a bag of peaches yesterday. And a small seedless watermelon. No, I am not making fruit salad. I am sort of a Not Fruit Salad Person. Too many grapes, usually. And honeydew, which I eschew. (Could not resist.)

      OK. I did not have hip surgery, but I had patellar tendon relocation surgery, shoulder surgery, and two bouts of adhesive capsulitis, and I can heartily agree with so, so many of these. On my List would have been "It's okay to ask for help." That one is still a struggle for me.

      Your loss of appetite can also be due to your narcotics regimen. Be careful with those. Along with compression hose, They Are The Devil.

  3. Twelve things I love about your blog:
    1. I can depend on the grammar being correct, thus keeping my blood pressure in check.
    2. Stylish and interesting posts.
    3. Lists. I love lists.
    4. Your regular commenters. They are just as stylish and interesting as you are.
    5. You reply to comments. In depth.
    6. I can enjoy who you are through your posts.
    7. Your take on your mother. If I had nicknamed mine, she would probably have disowned me.
    8. Your take on your sons. Refreshing.
    9. Husband dialogues. Hilarious.
    10. Love that your health is improving and you are posting more.
    11. Wine.
    12. You put up with me.
    Congrats on 12 (!) years.

    1. Mary G--Oh, thank you so much! It's lovely to know that my efforts here in all areas of Writing are so appreciated.

      Interesting that you enjoy replies to comments when you eschew that on your own blog. Wondering why. In any case, we Comment Repliers are a rare breed. I love extending the conversation with my readers.

      I love lists as well, and while I would normally comment on each--or some--of the items in each, this time I tossed them up there, let them speak for themselves, and decided to take questions if asked.

      My mother--she is inordinately vain about her presence on this blog as of late. Like she is Famous or something. Her new response to anything she does that causes me inconvenience is, "Oh well, you can use it on the blog!" Thank goodness she is on an extended visit with her sister in Gettysburg at present where she can re-center herself.

      Oh, wine! I could talk about it ALL DAY. Sigh. Then no one would put up with ME! XO

  4. 12 Things Observable My Living Room Right Now That Tell You Something About My Present State of Being And Situation in Life:
    1. Piles of discarded/outgrown clothing abandoned by Son#2, who is back at University as of last week and which are waiting to be donated.
    2. Giant spiderwebs, because the weather is beginning to get chilly, and the spiders all start moving indoors here because No Screens on Windows in England.
    3. A pile of used books, from the charity shop where I volunteer and to which I add weekly but do not read fast enough.
    4. Ziploc bags of varying currencies: 1 of US dollars, brought back early August when MrL flew to visit his mum and which will go with me in a week or so when I go to visit MY mum; 1 of Euros, brought back last week from Amsterdam when we moved our son into his accommodation at the University of Amsterdam, which is in Europe and therefore closer than the US, which makes me very happy.
    5. A box of Varied Teas and Biscuits and a really adorable teacup and saucer set with a robin on them which are about to be taken to my mother.
    6. My dog, lying under a blanket on the sofa, because it's starting to get cold and she prefers to be under a blanket when the temperatures drop, and yes, September 1st seems too early.
    7. The TV remote is out (and not tucked away in a box like it usually is) because the new series (aka 'season') of the 'Great British Bake-Off' started up on Tuesday evening and MrL and I are fans despite all the changes.
    8. Everything has been removed from my fireplace hearth and surround because the Gas Man is coming to check all of my gas appliances, as he has done every September since I moved to England, because Health And Safety are very important in England.

    9. A discarded sling, left there by MrL, who had an unfortunate cycling accident in late May, breaking his collarbone and 2 ribs, much to my alarm and his own consternation, because he couldn't cycle for pretty much the Whole Summer. Worst of all, he had to pay for train fare to and from work every day, which pierced him to the depths of his miserly soul.
    10. A bicycle pump, to pump up the tyres of the new bike he bought after totalling the other (costing far more than train fare, but he never blinked an eye - very odd.)
    11. A pile of light bulbs I can't use because they have the wrong sort of base. Because in England, you have screw-in as well as bayonet base (snap-in) light bulbs and I can never remember which fixtures have which and invariably buy the wrong ones. I never even heard of bayonet base light bulbs before moving to Korea and they are all over England, too - and maybe in the US as well, but I've been gone for so long I don't even know what kinds of light bulbs people use there anymore. Which is a very strange feeling.
    12. Sunshine, which - after 2 1/2 years of living here - I appreciate more than you can imagine.

    The question is: why can I write ad nauseum in a comment on YOUR blog, but I can't seem to be bothered to dust mine off?

    Anyway...congratulations on your Delightful Dozen!! xx

    1. MsCaroline--As I always tell everyone who comments at length here, "You can blog on my blog any old time!"

      Thank you for the congrats. It's nice to see you back here, and to read the charming contents of your living room. You are not alone in the Spider Situation; they are encroaching at my lakehouse with more than sinister intent, and at my little bungalow, I wake up to new webbies around here and there almost every morning. The cats are, as usual, worthless overmuch when it comes to this issue.

      As far as dusting off your moribund blog, sometimes these Listy posts are helpful. And I was once rescued by the Alphabet Construct.

      Again, so nice to see you here once more! XX

  5. Congratulations - I love this post, it was informative and interesting, and highly amusing!

    Here are 12 things about me: 1. My belly button is fake. 2. I never graduated from high school, but I have a Master's degree. 3. "Mr Ed" is my favorite TV show ever. 4. I have won more than one "Mr Ed" singing sound-alike contests. 5. In one of my previous jobs, I was officially allowed to sign my boss' name to documents, etc. (He was a Rockefeller.) 6. I think each day should include some chocolate. 7. Stupid people are annoying. 8. Learn to spell and use proper grammar, damn it! (That's to the universe at large, not you.) 9. I am originally from West Virginia. 10. In my experience, people from the Midwest are no kinder or better than people from anywhere else. 11. I spent many of my formative years with one or both parents at bars, racetracks, and card games for money, and have grown up extremely boring and not a serial killer. 12. Animals are nearly always better than people.

    1. Bridget--Thank you! And how gracious of you to share 12 things about you and what you think.

      I'm so curious about your fascination with "Mr. Ed." I never really found that show or its premise entertaining, even as a child. I didn't hate it or think it was stupid; I just didn't like it. But then, I never went through a Horsey Period, either. I was more of a "Bewitched" kid. And a "Lost in Space" kid.

      I agree with #10. I've gotten to know lots and lots of people from all over the place, as have so many of you, now that the world has been shrunken via the Internet. I've been invited to stay in the homes of people from New York to California to Florida to Texas, and that's just the USA. AND WE ALL KNOW OF THE KINDNESS OF OUR CANADIAN NEIGHBOURS. GOES WITHOUT SAYING. :-)

      Finally, with regard to Stupid People. As a career teacher, I have had a lifetime of dealing with stupid people of all kinds. For me, it comes down always to this: Are they willfully stupid, or are they trying to do something about it? If it's the latter, I can handle it.

  6. Well done on 12 great years Nance. Don't ever leave, I'd miss you to much.

  7. Congrats on #12! Enjoyed reading your lists -- each item could be an interesting subject for its own blog post. I'd sure agree with you about those TV shows that are still being aired, but would make it a Baker's Dozen and add Gong Show.

    1. joared--Thank you. I've done Listy Posts before and once had an entire blog of nothing but lists that I co-wrote with my son Jared years ago. It was called Stuff On Our List, and it was great fun while it lasted. He and I have also teamed up here for other list posts every now and again.

      We'll have to agree to disagree about the new version of The Gong Show. I love it. And knowing that the host is really actor/comedian Mike Meyers in full prosthetic makeup makes it even more wonderful for me. I do exactly what he says each time in the intro: turn on my telly, turn off my brain, and just be there for funsies. It's mindless, hilarious entertainment for me. Great absurdism, and I expect nothing cerebral at all.

  8. Congratulations on 12 years! That's a long, long time. So glad I discovered your blog - can be guaranteed to bring me a chuckle or two (or a groan as the case may be). Agree with your list of TV shows (can't believe they are still on...and that folks watch them). I want them to bring back Sky King and Ally McBeal - then (maybe) I'd watch TV.

    1. Vera--Thank you for finding me! I wasn't an Ally McBeal watcher; probably there was something else on that I was deeply into at the same time. I know it was really popular and was a career-launcher for more than a few people.


Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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