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Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Dept. Is Back And With A New Feature: Ask A Large Cat


The Dept. is back, and with a new Feature, Ask A Large Cat. Without any Further Ado, here is Piper, resident Large Cat, to answer your Queries.

Query 1: Is it Just Me, or is Christmas feeling Blah and Tedious this year?
Large Cat: I feel the same way. I don't even watch Nance wrap gifts this year; I just lie under the tree and sleep. Here in NEO, everyone thinks it is due to the weather, which is extremely warm and snowless. I think that's Zzzzzz.

Query 2: Do you think the rest of the world is laughing at us due to Donald Trump leading in the polls?
Large Cat: No. I think they are shaking their heads in dismay and pity. The laughter ended with the re-election of George W. Bush.

Query 3: Every year, I ask for a pair of navy blue or red leather riding style boots. They do not exist. I don't understand why. I feel like they should, and that I cannot be the only one who thinks so. What's the deal?
Large Cat: Look, I understand. I feel like my dish should always be full of either albacore tuna or, at the very least, wet cat food. Keep hoping. I do.

Query 4: Our dog--
Large Cat: Next.

Query 5: I keep reading articles about tipping everyone at Christmas. Is this really necessary?
Large Cat: I don't think so. It sounds like a New York Thing to me. If you get regular service from the same people all the time, like a regular groomer or a regular mail carrier or pet sitter, then I would give them a tip. But tipping everyone sounds worky. And expensive. And tiring.

Query 6: Are gift bags okay to use, or are they tacky?
Large Cat: I really prefer boxes. They are cozy, and I can curl right up in them as long as they don't have some off-putting tissue paper in there. Gift bags tip over and require jumping and depth perception and quick risk-assessment.

Query 7: Is your Christmas shopping done?
Large Cat: I am a Gift Giver all year-round, and there are lint-rollers in two rooms to prove it. Sometimes I re-gift my breakfast.

Query 8: What do you want for Christmas?
Large Cat: A cat in the White House. Tuna every day. No more dog visits, ever. More quiet.

Query 9: With such impressive photos coming back from NASA's New Horizons spacecraft, and its myriad discoveries, do you think Pluto will be reassigned its planetary status within our solar system?
Large Cat: I wish.

This has been Ask A Large Cat, with Piper, resident Large Cat. The Dept. of Nance is pleased to be back after a Hiatus Of Sorts...sigh.

25 comments:

  1. I want to change my email address with you. I unsubscribed but couldn't find a place to resubscibe

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  2. Hi, phoebes--In my sidebar on the site is a place to do just that. It's right below the Bunnies picture. You simply enter your email address and click the Subscribe button. Let me know if you have further trouble.

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  3. Okay, I did that. Thanks. The Large Cat is a beauty.

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    1. phoebes--Yay! I know that your subscription has been ... Less Than Worth It lately, but I am striving to correct that.

      Thank you for your perseverance and also for your compliment of Piper. He is an attractive, albeit enormous and heavyset cat. Rick recently enlarged the cat door. Sigh.

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  4. Ask A Large Cat is a good feature. I can see that Piper knows what's what-- and will tell it like it is.

    I tip my hair stylist and our dry cleaning delivery man, but no one else. I thought it was illegal to tip a government employee, like your mail carrier, but could be wrong on that. I have no idea who ours is, driving around in his little jeep, moving as fast as the wind.

    I like to wrap presents, but when using a gift bag I make sure to do the tissue paper properly because pretty matters.

    Pluto will always be a planet in my heart, no matter what the big bad scientists tell me. Such a sacrilege to even have to discuss this point.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, nance.

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    1. Ally Bean--I have zero idea regarding the legality of tipping government employees. We never have the same mail carrier twice. Our route is like an orphan route or something: it gets picked up by anyone who gets done first, and we get our mail at all different times, usually at 4 or 5 o'clock. Seldom will our carrier even wear a shred of a uniform, which I find terribly unnerving.

      I think gift bags are fine and like a little Extra Gift since they can be reused.

      Early in my Blogging Life, I did a whole post on poor Pluto's demotion, and I have to say that I am still Not Over It. Your sentiment, "Such a sacrilege to even have to discuss this point." says it perfectly. Well done.

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    2. Thank you for your wisdom, Piper. It's comforting to know that there are wise cats out there to give answers to our many myriad questions.

      Pluto is a planet, and anyone who says it isn't can go to hell. Including Neil deGrasse Tyson. (Whom I generally adore)

      Is my attitude similar to climate change deniers? God, I hope not.

      I'm so not ready for Christmas I could spit. I had to pay a ton of money to get my brother's gift to him on time...that's the problem with family in Alaska (also likely true for Hawaii).

      Our newspaper carrier gives us a little note every December, including her full name and address. I suspect it's so we can send her a tip. I never have, though I also haven't called the police when she goes through the community recycling bin for cans and bottles. That makes me sound a lot meaner than I feel. Who knows, maybe I'm mean?

      Speaking of tuna in your cat dish, you might want to try stinky cheese. My mom used to like Limburger cheese, which was nasty and my brother and I had to leave the house because it reeked. Her cat, Missy, LOVED it and would prectically steal it from her hand (while she was mostly a very well mannered cat). Ask Nance if she'll get you some.

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    3. J@jj--(Nance here).

      It sounds like you and I are having a Very Similar Attitude Episode this season. I've tried to revamp a few routines to try and evoke some positive changes, but thus far, to little success. After a series of migraines, I was put on a steroid blast and have tried to chalk most recent things up to that, but I wonder if it's all Just Hormones.

      Sorry for the Overshare. Ugh.

      I, too, admire and am charmed by Neil deGrasse Tyson, holding his anti-Pluto sentiment only against him thus far. Okay, and maybe his tendency toward being Extremely Chipper.

      Piper is so overweight--and this from being only fed diet kibble and a teaspoon of wet food--that he cannot have anything else. He is just a large, fat, loose, but overall pleasant cat. Oh, and warm--very warm--on one's lap.

      (Sounds like your newspaper carrier supplies her own tips.)

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  5. My favorite kind of cats are "attractive, albeit enormous and heavyset" cats. More to hold and love.

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    1. phoebes--He keeps me nice and warm, and is quite cuddly!

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  6. Gift bags are not tacky! I swear by my gift bags, which I purchase at Costco. They are adorable, usually with some kind of three dimensional aspect to them, such as "fur" on Santa's coat, and a metal-ish belt buckle. Embrace the gift bag! Although I can see why Piper would prefer a box.

    Hey, you need to come to California and visit Temecula, which is 40 minutes from my house.

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    1. Gina--Oh, trust me--I love the gift bag. So practical! Easy to transport, reusable and easy to store. Off to Google "Temecula" which sounds like a place that Dracula spiders live.

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    2. One word- Wine! A lot of people from Southern California go here instead of Napa/Sonoma because, well, it's right here.

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    3. Oh, my. That is one of my favourite words of all!

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  7. Gift bags are not so much tacky as too damn expensive. I do recycle the ones I get, however, and have a big stash of tissue paper for that purpose. I have been known to buy a few when desperate, but normally I have oodles of wrapping paper. My first job ever (besides having a highly profitable baby-sitting business) was gift-wrapping in a department store. Learned how to do any package with 3 pieces of tape and not waste an inch of paper. Plus do all sorts of fancy bows which I now eschew because that *is* too worky. People always stare at my quaint little homey wrapped packages like I am from the ghetto. Secretly, however, I think they are jealous.

    Love your Ask a Large Cat. Do you think Zydrunas could do a competitor column called... uh... Ask a Big Dog?

    I owe you an email. It's coming. Almost done with grading finals. XX00

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    1. Ortizzle--How lovely to hear from you!
      I am not above getting gift bags at a dollar store now and again, but my grocery store has magnificent cheapo ones all the time, and I stock up. Sadly, I am a sucker for wrapping paper, and I buy it whether I need it or not and have even chucked rolls that are perfectly fine, their only fault being that I am tired of them. I simply toss them in the recycle bin. I won't pay more than a dollar for a roll of paper--again, my grocery store being a terrific supplier of wrapping paper--so I don't feel too terrible. And I seriously doubt anyone thinks your packages are ghetto.

      Thanks for appreciating the device of Ask A Large Cat. Zydrunas is hardly a thoughtful enough persona to answer queries, but it might be fun to try. He is hugely exuberant, terrifyingly physical, and preoccupied with guarding and establishing territory. (When he is not cuddling.) I adore him.

      I await your missive with much delight. XXOO

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    2. I dunno... I think you should let Zydrunas take a stab at it--- at least once, anyway. He could be the yang for the cat's yin, depending on the type of Q&A you want to get into. :-)

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  8. I used to tip the newspaper person, but they started changing them every other month, which meant a learning curve, so that's out. I tipped the mail carrier, nice guy, but his substitutes frequently deliver our mail to a house around the corner, then I had to pay a late fee for car registration that expired that I never got the original notice for, so that fine is getting reimbursed by tip withholding. I still tip my yoga instructors.

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    1. Silliyak--I understand. Isn't it frustrating to have so many Comings And Goings among service providers? I can only imagine their frustration at not knowing their own schedules on a regular basis or not having any regularity about their jobs. Unfortunately, it all had a negative impact on you in a very real way. Sorry for that!

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  9. This has made my day! Thanks to you and Piper. :-)

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  10. Bridget--How lovely to hear this. Sorry to have been so absent, and I do plan to be a Better Blogger in future.

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  11. Here is how the Zydrunas Q&A would go.

    Q: How do--
    A: WALKIES!

    Q: I have--
    A: HERE'S MY BALL!

    Q: We need--
    A: SUPPERTIME!

    Repeat ad nauseum.

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    1. LaFF--Hee hee! Pretty much! Zydrunas is awfully uncomplicated that way, as are most dogs. Sam was just here for lunch (he works close by, so he is a frequent leftovers consumer), and I asked for an update on Z. "He's been kind of an asshole lately," was the reply. Z is difficult to rein in on some days since he often sees discipline from the boys as a challenge and an invitation to roughhouse. Let's just say that, at My House, he knows Who Is Boss.

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  12. Loved this! And as usual, the comments are almost as much fun as the blog :)

    I usually try to use gift bags because my wrapping skills are MINIMAL at best. I wish I'd taken a picture of one gift I wrapped for my stepmother last week - I told her that it looked like a five year old had done it. (Actually, I think a five year old would have done a better job).

    I've been out and about for most of December. So happy to be home & reading blogs. I might actually get caught up before I have to go back to work on Monday!

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    1. Bug--So glad! And I'm always grateful for and highly entertained by My Commmentors.

      This year I used quite a few Gift Bags, and I even found a few cute oversized boxes that looked like Christmasy Chinese takeout containers at my Wonderful Grocery Store. I made good use of those as well. Piper had little to say about it since he and Marlowe were confined to the second floor--Zydrunas was In Attendance For Christmas. Fun for us and him, but not so for them.

      Rick is the Wrapper Extraordinaire here at the Dept., with fastidiousness and careful creasing and all exactness. Me--NOT.

      Hope your re-entry back at work was not too traumatic. Welcome home!

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