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Friday, August 21, 2015

The Dept. of Nance Is Ten!


The Dept of Nance is ten!

You know, I almost missed it. Ten years ago this month, I started writing here, and I'm still at it. Along the way, lots of things happened: I outlasted a president (twice!), a major hurricane, plenty of blizzards, and The Recession. I saw the election and re-election of the first Hawaiian President of the United States who also happens to be black. We've had three popes and three new Supreme Court Justices. Gay people can finally get married. Lebron James came back to Cleveland. Arthur Miller and JD Salinger died. Nutella finally got real and stopped advertising itself as part of a nutritious breakfast.

To celebrate the Dept.'s Tenth Anniversary, I've decided to do Ten Posts Of Top Ten Lists. Assisting me will be Jared, who not only gave me this idea, but who has also co-written some list posts with me before.

Today's Top Ten List will be just mine. But before I begin, let me thank all of you, Dearest Readers. In the early years, I was writing, it seemed, just for me. Then, suddenly, there You were. And I cannot tell you how Very Much Better it has been ever since.

Shall we on, then? Here is the list of

10 Things That Happened To Me In The Last 10 Years

1. Retirement
2. Text Messaging
3. Driving
4. The Radio
5. Cats
6. Frozen Shoulders
7. Leggings
8. Shrinkage
9. The Menopause
10. Fantasy Sports

These are, of course, in no particular order, and this is not a comprehensive list. A few do require brief explanation. A few do not, but I'll probably talk about them anyway.

1. Retirement continues to be blissful and wonderful, and it's a damn shame that I couldn't have started it much sooner. I cannot begin to tell you how gorgeous it is to be able to slide into my day in my jammies with a cup of coffee rather than jitter into it full bore with high heels and a broken copier and a screaming hallway full of recalcitrant tardies.

2. Oh, yes; absolutely I am The Person who said that I would never, ever tap away on a teensy keyboard to anyone, ever, and I do it regularly now, even to my 85-year old mother who has an iPad and sends me text messages right back. Please feel free to scream I TOLD YOU SO! with a big, smug smirky face. It's perfectly justified.

3. Previous to my retirement, I drove almost nowhere. I drove the Capital Beltway alone in dense fog earlier this summer. I used to be a fearful driver. Yesterday, I passed a dump truck. And a Mustang. At the same time. Laughing at them...because I drive a Prius.

4. When I was teaching, I could not stand to listen to the radio in my car. Maybe, maybe NPR for five minutes. But never music. It was too much for me. Now, I listen to music all the time. My current favourite: Shut Up and Dance by Walk The Moon.

5. In the past ten years I have sadly said goodbye to two cats, TravisCat and EmilyCat. I was blissfully hair-free for a few years, but lonesome for a pet. Enter Piper and Marlowe, whose hair is everywhere. I am on a Three Lint Roller Program: one in the car, one in the bedroom, one in the bathroom (where the light is merciless).

6. I had two bouts of adhesive capsulitis, one of which was misdiagnosed as a torn rotator cuff and for which I was operated on, unnecessarily as it turned out. What a horrid, horrid time this was, for everyone.

7. Yep! You get to feel superior again. I think I banished leggings in a post once; now, they're my fall and winter uniform. Do I make absolutely certain to wear something that tastefully and discreetly covers my derriere, like a tunic or long sweater or duster? Of course! Is said long overshirt loose and not clingy? Obviously. And I wear boots. That outfit is so much warmer than jeans or regular pants and shoes. Bash away at my Hypocrisy. I deserve your scorn.

8. In the course of the past ten years, I shrank from a size 10 down to a size 0. Part of it was from Topamax for migraines, part of it was illness. I settled in at a size 2 for a good long while until...

9. The Menopause. Basically, this is the stage in a woman's life when her body turns against her and gives her The Finger. Everything went to hell. My migraines went crazy. My weight went up. My skin and hair got dry and my nails got peely. Is it worth it to stop having to buy Tampax? Now that things have rebalanced...YES.

10. What in the hell am I, a retired English teacher, whose other interests are decidedly not sporty, and who has never played a sport in her entire life, doing with a Fantasy Basketball Team? For four years running? It's so, so silly. But I love it.

There's lots more, but that's pretty good right there.  Again, thank you so much for Being There.  Perhaps in Comments, you can tell me How Long You've Been There, and then you can tell us all what you've been up to in the past 10 Years.

Oh, and do have some cake!

littlecowcreativecakes.co.uk


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14 comments:

  1. Happy blog birthday!! Loved the list. Alas, I have 10 years to go before retirement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rose--Thank you! I hope those 10 years go by fast and easily. How long have you been a Reader here?

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  2. Congrats on your "birthday". I always read but rarely comment. I'm glad you're back in the wonderful world of cats!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. phoebes--Thank you so much! Piper and Marlowe have been with me for five years now since I adopted them as rescues. How long since you've "adopted" me?

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  3. Congratulations! Your 10 years of blogging has kept us all entertained, thought-provoked and smiling. You have made us a little more self-expressed because you weren't afraid to share yourself in all your splendid colors. You just can't buy that. I feel so privileged to know you! I'll tip my glass to another 10!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Karen--It's been such a pleasure getting to know you. I've been down here in your neck of the woods this summer, you know. Email me if you want to meet up at Jake's! It's been lovely knowing YOU.

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  4. Congratulations! Your take on life in Ohio rings true with me. I'm thankful that I found you. Here's hoping that you'll be around the blogosphere for another 10 years, at least. *cheers*

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    Replies
    1. Ally Bean--I love reading you over at your space as well. Thanks for the support. How long has it been that you and I have been together now?

      Delete
  5. HANDLE: Ortizzle

    REAL NAME: Catherine

    CAME TO YOUR BLOG IN: 2006

    OVER THE LAST TEN YEARS I HAVE:

    1. Completed a Masters’ degree in Spanish which made my life insane for the duration and nearly ended my marriage.

    2. Started a new job at the uni where I still work, thus vindicating No. 1

    3. Moved to a condo which Mr. O. and I are still paying off.

    4. Had 2 car accidents which totaled my cars, but, thankfully, not me.

    5. Started using Facebook, which I vowed I never would, but it gives me contact with my buddies in Spain, and that alone is
    worth it a hundred times over.

    6. Pretty much finished menopause, with occasional hot flashes, and YES, all the rotten stuff you mention.

    7. Hardly traveled at all (outside of Texas) since 2005. That needs to be fixed. Life has settled down. More or less.

    8. Got elected to the HOA board where I live, which is a thankless, unpaid job. Why did I do that?

    9. Started to mellow somewhat and think in terms of “When I Am an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple.” =
    http://tinyurl.com/nk42wvy

    10. Enjoyed each and every fabulous post on the Department of Nance, and bless the day I found your blog.

    Happy 10th Anniversary, Nance!! OOOOXXXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ortizzle--Isn't it lovely? I'm so thankful that you found me early on. You've had an eventful 10 years! I'm so glad you've stuck with me. XXOO

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  6. Happy Blogaversary, Nance! What an eventful 10 years you've had. You may not have travelled MUCH, but I do know you came to California. :)

    I've been your blog fan since 2007. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J@jj--Thank you. And thanks for the past 8 years. You always make me think, both at your space and here with your carefully considered and bright comments.

      I didn't drive out to California, that's for sure, but I wouldn't rule it out in the future. I love my GPS and the security it gives me. I'm never lost with it in front of me.

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  7. Happy happy anniversary! I started blogging in 2009. I started to go through my comments (over 17,000 of them - sheesh) to see when you first commented on my blog so I would have some idea of when I found you, but I gave up once I got to 2010. I'm going to say it was some time in 2010 :) I wonder how I found you? Seems like it would probably have been on a comment on another blog I follow, but I have no idea. It's all a blur now. Is that part of menopause? Not that I was ever especially sharp in the memory department.

    In the last 10 years:

    1. I've gained back all the weight I lost before my my mother's death (I'm working on it - really!).
    2. I've stayed with the same company, but changed jobs, and then the job that I had changed & I love it ever so much now.
    3. I finally got a smart phone last year - best thing EVER!
    4. I became firmly embroiled in Facebook. I'm past the point of having to try to see everything each friend has posted, but I still spend too much time on there.
    5. I traded Creative Memories for Stampin' Up & then finally moved onto crochet where I hope to remain for a while.
    6. Dr. M completed his dissertation and FINALLY got his Ph.D. And then he finally got a full time job & we moved to our lovely small house.
    7. After swearing off of church positions I somehow worked my way into being Senior Warden of my church (in addition to the other 10 hats I wear there).
    8. I cried when Barack Obama was elected, and I cried when gay marriage was affirmed.
    9. I've colored my hair at least 30 times (and it's always some shade of brown no matter what the picture on the box is).
    10. In May of last year I started taking a walk every day, and I still am!

    Here's to the next 10 years!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bug--I wish I could help you, but I don't know how or when we got together, either! I'm glad we did, though. And heavens, yes, do go ahead and blame anything you want on The Menopause. I do. I even blamed Justin Bieber and those stupid open-toed boots on The Menopause.

      I am still in awe of your #10. I could blame my inability to do the same on The Menopause, but it's far more the fault of The Migraines and The Sloth. Sigh.

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