Soon, I needed a snack, and this, as many of you may recall, is Perilous Territory for me, and by default then, for Rick. I do not often eat during the day, and when I suddenly must, rarely is it obvious to even me what I want. When I returned from my foraging, I had a bag of Lay's Potato Chips--just the crumbs, really (it was an old bag)--and Rick rolled his eyes.
Rick: (nodding at the chips) That's not what you want.
Nance: (sighs) I know. But I have no idea.
Rick: (puzzled) Didn't we buy a new bag? What--
Nance: Yeah, but there's still some left in here, and I'm not opening a nice new bag when this might not even be what I want.
Rick: You're such a project.
Nance: (decisively) Boy, don't I know it. (looks across the street at the rental house) Rick, I am going to say something very, very horrible right now. It's just terrible and awful.
Rick: (looks up expectantly; his expression is almost joyful) Oh good. I hope so. It's been a really long time since you did. A long time.
|Yard Parker: the view from my porch|
Rick: Well, it makes the neighborhood look trashy.
Nance: It does. It really does. (sighs;looks down at chips) Holy crap. All I wanted to do was eat a few chips. But no! They want me to scan this code and go to their website. Here they want me to design my own flavor. Then they want me to post that to Facebook. (a little indignant now) That's a lot of bullshit work!
Rick: They want you to do their job.
Nance: And here's what happens. People come up with all kinds of exotic flavors. They say, apple cinnamon! Salted caramel! Chicken and biscuits! Duck confit! And here's what will win--BACON. Period. Bet me.
Rick: What flavor would you want?
Nance: I have no idea. Guacamole? Probably already sent in or already tested. But the point is, it doesn't matter. BACON WILL WIN. Seriously.
Rick: Everyone likes bacon.
Nance: Then why ask? Ugh. Make a bacon chip and be done with it.
Rick: Here. Give me that. I'm going in to get a beer. I'll throw them away for you.