Saturday, May 26, 2007

Politics, With a Side of Poetry

It's been far too long since I posted something political. I refuse to take any polls too seriously; it's much too early, and as most of my compatriots know, I'm waiting to see if everyone who is anyone has declared himself a candidate yet. But I'm very much following things as they develop, and nothing escapes my notice.

I've decided to have a little fun and compose a few Political Haiku about a few of the candidates from both parties, and I encourage you to play along in the Comments section. For those of you who need a quick refresher:

Haiku is a Japanese style of poetry consisting of three lines. The first and third lines contain only 5 syllables. The second line contains 7 syllables. Taken all together, the poem states a complete thought. (Traditionally, Japanese haiku would be seasonal poetry; naturally, I will be ringing a bit of a change on that theme.)

Without any further ado, here are my Political Haiku:

Barack Obama,
Kicked in the ass by his own:
"He's not black enough."

Hillary makes us
Women feel as if we owe her
Votes no matter what.

Fred Thompson, actor.
Is he in or is he not?
G.O.P. pricktease.

Oh, Rudy, Rudy!
Come on, now! Even you know
You're a Democrat!

The Straight Talk Express
Looks to have been detoured by
McCain's bad driving.

Chris Dodd, your white hair
Gives you an air of wisdom.
Boy! Could we use that!

Mike Gravel, you are
At least entertaining and
Keeping me awake.

Okay, everybody, it's your turn. 5-7-5; it's not like it's hard. You don't even have to take off your shoes! I can't wait to read your haikus.


  1. All these old people
    And not one of them sticks out.
    Well, it can't get worse.

    I remember that Brian gave us an assignment to watch the State of the Union address and to write a half page response to it. I wrote about a page worth of poems, complete with a limerick, some free-form, and a few haikus. I think I even wrote and performed a Whose Line Is It Anyway? style hoedown. I swear, I'm the only person in the world who misses high school.

  2. Great post. Here's my contribution (I can't resist writing bad haikus).

    Goodbye guest workers
    Now who is going to do
    unsavory jobs?

  3. Superb haiku, Nance! And so true, especially the one on Hillary, LOL.

    O.K., here's my little bit of drivel:

    I took off a shoe
    Thought for a minute or two
    VoilĂ : five haiku!

    McCain says Baghdad
    Is safe for flak-jacket wear…
    But is Washington?

    Michael Moore is back:
    Will the movie Sicko bring
    Some health care reform?

    And then there’s Al Gore:
    One more inconvenient truth
    Bites the dust again?

    Good leadership is
    What we need, and then perhaps
    A side dish of brains

    Where can we find this
    Elusive combination?
    Department of Nance!

    (That was fun.)

  4. I hate politics
    Politicians lie, cheat, steal
    Just like car salesmen

  5. May 25th Tie: LOL!! You outdid yourself on that one. I lost track of the fact that it was even about a tie... and slipped hopelessly into the mesmerizing image of the gent who drinks his Scotch neat (is there any other way?!). Anyway, you only forgot the last 3 words:


  6. ih--watch it with the "old people", buddy! besides, john edwards looks AS YOUNG AS ME...pretty much.

    mist1--thanks. extra point for using "unsavory." your vocabulary is admirable.

    ortizzle--we teachers--we are such overachievers. you put a blogpost in my comments section and I LOVE IT. Bonus points for shameless flattery of the BlogHost and for noticing that my blogsite makes a perfect line of haiku.

    brookelina--are you positive that barack obama will lie, cheat, and steal? he says he is different and i want so very much to believe him. he is even trying to quit smoking for America.

    ortizzle, again--you know, *I* lost track that this report (5/25) was about a tie. LOL. and I wasn't imagining Bond, esp. this new blond one--ICK--I was imagining

  7. Barack Obama.
    Whites hope he’s presidential.
    Blacks fear oreo.

  8. I'm having a hard time thinking of a hakiu but I think that Obama should keep smoking. Just a bit of a biased opinion :)

  9. B.O., charisma!
    Pretty is as pretty does;
    Go learn, and come back later.

    Rudy, I don't know
    what you DID to get all that
    Hype in your favor.

    Ms. Clinton touts mind
    Fusses with mad strategy
    (go down on your knees)

    Al, you said "No." Please
    Slide down your melting iceberg
    in Tesla roadster

    Nice work, Ortizzle.

    And all I can think of on the Brian Williams' front is

    Brian, it fades you!
    Go find another dresser
    Lose the Wedgwood tie.

  10. Oops. In the B.O. one the last line should read, "Learn and then come back." [Blush]

  11. Sputnik: You rock. Brilliant haiku, and chapeau for the Brian Williams tie one, LOL!

    (Nance has no idea what she's started here... )

  12. I haven't seen Brian yet! Wouldn't that be cool?

  13. All eyes on Lil D
    At the polls on Tuesday eve
    "Yes! We're Democrats!"

  14. curt--welcome to the Dept.! thanks for commenting. add some more haiku! there are a few candidates i left out, like dennis kucinich, whose name is an entire first line.

    nina--STOP SMOKING IMMEDIATELY. ahem. (i feel i have to do that.) and come on back when you've got a haiku ready. they're fun! see my comment to curt. i've already got a first line done for you!

    sputnik--i knew i could count on you for at least a couple of haiku! are you picking on AL?! don't make me smack you. LOL. besides, he IS still saying no. it's the rest of us who keep saying yes. (and i had to look up Tesla roadster.)

    ortizzle--I KNOW! if i have to add yet another sidebar element, i'll probably lose it. instead, i'll just have to designate a day of the week as Haiku Day, like you have a Hump Day Question. But I'm so's the rebel in me. hee hee

    anali--looks like it was a one-day thing. darnit. he sneaked in and out without any fanfare. i know you would have stalked him for me and slipped him a card with my blog URL on it, right, girlfriend??? RIGHT?!?!!

    tera--Who the heck is lil D? is that some new rapper? LOL LOL

  15. (Clears throat) No Nance, that is my cleverly witty 7 year old son!

  16. Dennis Kucinich:
    "Proposed plan 5982
    Will bring us world peace."

    It really irritates me that he always speaks in terms of numbers. Plus, he looks like a troll.

  17. Dennis Kucinich:
    "Proposed plan five nine eight two
    Will bring us world peace."

    *I guess it only works if you spell out the numbers, huh? :)

  18. tera--sigh. i had no idea. but i'm glad you've raised him, left. know what i mean!

    nina--i was with you, girl!!


Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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