Things I'm Not Wearing Anymore
1. Makeup
2. Jewelry
3. Wristwatch
4. Wedding ring
5. Bra
6. Fussy Shoes
7. Glasses with those nose pad thingies
Let me be clear: I have not Given Up. I don't drag around the house in sweatpants and slippers looking slovenly and pathetic. These are all things I stopped wearing well before my recent diagnosis. I still look Very Nice and Presentable. At any given moment, I could answer the door and be perfectly fine if it were, say, a handsome dignitary or sophisticated billionaire offering me a generous check. I do still wear mascara, geeze.
Many of you might be Nitpicking and say, "Nance. Wristwatches and Wedding Rings are Jewelry. You are redundant." To you I would say Perhaps, but I think of Jewelry as things such as earrings (I donated all my earrings and let my three earlobe holes close); bracelets (I have a huge collection of sterling silver ones); and necklaces (I have lots of sterling silver chains, too--necklaces began to trigger migraines). I stopped wearing my wedding ring when my weight kept going down, down, down, and it fell off. I also had to have it cut off once when I injured my hand, and that was awful.
Years ago, I wore wonderful high heels to work every day. My students were astonished that I didn't own any sneakers. How devastated they'd be to know that I wear sneaker-type shoes every day now--soft, rubber-soled slip-in shoes that are comfortable but still attractive, like these. Or black Mary Janes that are knockoffs of these. Of course, I have many others because some habits die hard. I'm especially fond of these. And I have them in white, too.
Have you given up on Wearing Some Things, too? Why? Do you think I'm giving up too easily? Chat me up in Comments.
First of all, jewelry, watches, and wedding rings are very different animals, so your list is correct. Second of all, bravo for ditching things that aren't comfortable or have outgrown their purpose.
ReplyDeleteThe order that I abandoned these things is:
- I never had glasses with nosepad thingies
- Fussy shoes
- Makeup and jewelry fell out of my life at the start of the pandemic. I'll wear them for special occasions, and to the best of my memory the last special occasion was my niece's wedding in 2023, and the next special occasion on the calendar is a nephew wedding in 2026.
The keepers are:
- I'm surprised as anyone that I am able to wear a wedding ring without fuss. I always detested wearing rings, but somehow my wedding ring is different. I don't wear it at night, while exercising, or when cooking/cleaning/other activities where it feels ill advised.
- Watch. Of course I have one billion other ways to tell the time, but its handy for getting phone notifications.
- Bra. If I was less well endowed, I'd ditch it in a heartbeat.
Birchie--Thanks for the validation. Like you, the last time I wore actual makeup was for my son Jared's wedding over a year ago. Before then...?
DeleteI had to give up contacts several years ago and switch to glasses for distance. I made the mistake of ordering metal frames, and they have to have those funny, pinchy nosepads that attach separately to the bridge of your nose. I now make a point to order only plastic frames that are all one piece and much more comfortable.
It was the advent of the smartphone that made me give up my watch. That, and my tendency to develop a skin allergy to the backs of metal watches. No way am I buying a gold or platinum watch, so it was easy to stop wearing one. Now, anything on my wrist feels odd.
Isn't it a pain to keep taking off and putting on your wedding ring?
I haven't worn any makeup for years and years. I do wear sweatpants and sweatshirts as being warm and comfy is good for me. I don't wear a wedding ring because I am happily divorced. I do wear a diamond ring that was handed down through my family but I don't wear any other jewelry. I wear a wristwatch that counts my steps.
ReplyDeleteI wear what I want when I want as I don't need to worry about what others think anymore.
Ellen--Hi! So nice to see you here.
DeleteI agree with warmth and comfort as primary motivators. I like leggings and sweaters and the occasional sweatshirt. Jeans almost always make me feel cold and bulky.
Like you, I wear what makes me feel put-together and comfortable. I have my own personal style, and I don't worry about fashion and trends. Thank goodness those days are over.
I wear all of those things except fussy shoes. Now if I wear a heel it is a big chunky heel or a wedge, but the truth is I don't really have occasion to wear those very often. I just never take off my wedding ring, ditto my watch (it's a Garmin, so I take it off to charge it and otherwise watch all my "health indicators" with bated breath). I love jewelry and I love makeup, so I'll probably be wearing those until I die. And I feel so uncomfortable unless I'm wearing a bra, like I don't like the feeling of being free I guess. I was telling my friend this, she's a lady who removes her bra the second she gets home. I even wear a bra to BED (a soft sleep bra, but still a bra). I don't know, I'm a compression kind of gal - we all find different things comfortable!
ReplyDeleteNicole--I don't often have occasion to wear heels, either, or any shoes that are considered Dressy. When I first retired, I still wore my dressier flats, but I gave that up after a few years in.
DeleteI've considered many times putting my wedding set--or at least the band--back on, but now it feels so There when I do. Maybe I'll try it again.
Rick got me one of those fitness tracker watches, but I'm not sure I'm going to use it. Especially now. It will likely make me feel even more frustrated and sad.
We had the bra discussion on a previous post of mine. I'm still all about the cami, and as long as I can get away with it, that's my thing.
Bravo to wearing what works and letting go of the rest. For the longest time, I wore makeup and jewelry every day, even though I work from home and the only place I go most days is the grocery store. It made me feel put together. But as my daughter got older and I noticed that she didn’t wear makeup when she wasn’t going out anywhere fancier than the grocery store, I thought…what a good idea. Partly I wanted to model confidence to her, that one doesn’t HAVE to do all of these things. Partly I was inspired by her.
ReplyDeleteI haven’t worn a watch in years. I don’t have a smart watch of any kind, just a pretty gold bangle watch, but the clasp broke and I need to get it fixed. Like Nicole, I am team bra and sleep in a top with a built in bra. Were I smaller chested, I might let that one go, but doubt I could ever go without during the day and still be comfortable.
I just ordered new glasses on Friday. No way in hell I was going to get those little nose pads, though I do have them on most of my sunglasses.
J--I'm noticing more and more young women going fresh-faced, and I love it. It was a big reason why I chose to give up foundation and blush. Kudos to you for doing the same and for your reasons behind it.
DeleteI hate finding cute frames and then seeing that they're metal and have the pinchy nosepads. I've almost relented so many times, but found my true courage and remained steadfast in my resolve. It's not been too difficult to find suitable frames in plastic. But UGH! I MISS MY CONTACTS!
I bought a pair of glasses maybe 10 years ago that looked rimless, and had the nose pads. I HATED THEM SO MUCH. So uncomfortable. I’m sorry you can’t wear contacts anymore, I love mine so much. Though I feel like I am wearing glasses most of the time anyway, because with my contacts on I need reading glasses. Getting older is awesome.
DeleteJ--They are the big reason I cannot have the rimless glasses that I covet. I am devastated that I cannot go back to contacts. (You know how vain I am!) I always wore reading glasses with my contacts, even when I had bifocal contacts. I had dozens of dollar store reading glasses to go with any outfit I had on. Yeah...getting older. Sigh.
DeleteI gave up makup- I can't put it on without looking like a clown. I wear wedding ring and a religious necklace always, and earrings sometimes. I wish I could wear fussy shoes, but my feet have gotten finicky, so short heels only - no flats either.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who likes bras? And I'm not even that well endowed. I like things to stay in place.
- mbmom11
mbmom11--I've yet to find a bra that doesn't feel like an annoyance. I like to feel Secure and Cozy, but not uncomfortable. A cami does that for me.
DeleteI am astonished at the multiple layers of makeup some girls and women wear. And the expense! Many of them like to do it and find it fun, but it all seems worky to me.
My mother has never taken off her wedding rings, ever. When they said they were taking them off for a surgery, she wept so pitifully, they relented and put on tape and a glove instead. She's worn them for 74 years straight now.
Watches and wedding rings are different from jewelry. You have not given up too easily - or even 'given up', really, just given away what doesn't serve you. I wear a bra and a bracelet most times when I leave the house, but I am not fine to answer the door at any point because I usually don't wear a bra in the house because they hurt my neck *shrug*. I have never worn heels - I'm clumsy, and they don't look good with my body shape anyway. I discovered Doc Martens in university and never looked back. I don't wear a lot of makeup, often none. I find all-over foundation uncomfortable and it doesn't look good on me. I wear mascara sometimes and almost always a bit of lip colour. I think people wearing what makes them comfortable generally equates to them looking more attractive than wearing what they think they should and looking uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteBibliomama--Thank you! You make such wise observations here! I heartily agree with your last sentence. Comfort and Confidence almost always lend attractiveness. That's why I think it's so important to develop a Personal Style. As you said, knowing what looks good on your body and makes you feel good and move well will make you feel better.
DeleteI have given away or given up the things that don't serve me. It's a privilege of both being a confident woman and, perhaps, a bit of old(er) age. You've done the same along the way.
To hell with answering the door. Have someone else do it. You worked all day!
I'm with you 100%, Nance! My husband and I are both anti-wedding ring because he nearly lost his finger when we were newly married. Now I just feel like rings are dangerous. I like comfortable shoes and clothes.
ReplyDeleteMG--Yes! Rick worked construction for the first 30 years of our marriage, and he almost lost a finger on an extension ladder. That made him stop wearing it then, too. He'd wear it on weekends, but if he forgot to take it off on Monday, then he'd worry about it in his toolbox or car. Finally, it was easier to just stop wearing it altogether.
DeleteI think it's possible for comfortable shoes and clothes to still look nice and put-together. That's what I aim for every single day.
I've given up all of these things too! It feels so much better, doesn't it? 💜
ReplyDeleteKari--It does, actually. And they're still available when we need them.
DeleteI only wear make up when I go into the office or have zoom calls. I stopped wearing my engagement ring years ago. I still wear my wedding band but it is very small and I don’t even know it’s on. Phil doesn’t wear a wedding band. He used to but he has horrible eczema. He does black light treatments to make it more tolerable, that’s how bad it is. The ring makes it worse so he skips it.
ReplyDeleteI very rarely wear heels. I haven’t since being diagnosed with RA. It’s just too hard on my joints.
Lisa--You know, I got married back in the day when the thing to do was to solder your wedding band and engagement ring together. At one point, Rick got me a separate wedding band after I had to have the set cut off. I could still wear that, but I don't even know if it fits.
DeletePoor Phil. Eczema is evil. I've known several people with it, and Theo has it as well. It seems ridiculous that there hasn't been a breakthrough in a treatment for it.
I can't imagine even trying to wear heels with RA. I hope you don't even try.
I still wear some makeup; but my makeup routine is VASTLY slimmed down and I'm fine with it. After I lost my job, I quit wearing earrings, wedding and/or anniversary ring or anyother jewelry (why? I guess because I felt if I was just wearing a t-shirt and jeans I wasn't "dressed?). I've had to re-visit that when my husband noticed I wasn't wearing my wedding ring and for some reason it seemed to bother him. Now, if I remember I'll wear the anniversary band (the wedding rings need to be repaired). I still require a bra sadly but after COVID lock down, I have ditched any and all wired bras for wireless ones. And yes, I still remove it as soon as I possibly can.
ReplyDeleteGigi--I guess I can understand a husband being a bit disconcerted if a wife suddenly stops wearing a wedding band. He may think it's a statement of some kind. And some men are still traditionalists at heart. My dad never wore his unless my mother asked him to, but she wore hers constantly since the day they married and still does to this day, 74 years later.
DeleteI also understand you being completely "dressed down", including jewelry, now that you're not working outside the home. I think it's important to have a sort of line that makes a home vs work boundary. Maybe that's what you're subconsciously doing.
Hi Nance, it's so good to come by here to catch up a bit. I'm with you on everything on the list but I am definitely not presentable to open the door at any given moment like you are, lol. I'm so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis, I hope you are doing well. I'm happy to know we will be spending a lot of time together this month. I've missed you!
ReplyDeleteMartha--How lovely to hear from you again! I hope you've been well and happy. Thank you for the kind words of support. I've missed you, too!
DeleteI have never worn makeup except for formal evening events, and even then it was usually limited to eye makeup and lipstick. I confess that since my eyebrows have disappeared (this happens when the hairs turn white and many of them disppear; the ones that stay are all over and need firm discipline), I do draw them in with a pencil before I appear in public. I wear a wedding ring, always. I love earrings, but since I tore up my right shoulder somehow, I cannot put in any that require butterfly backs. Only hooks are still possible. However, my hair, what there is left of it, is combed, I am clean, I am wearing decent trousers and the reason my tee is baggy is that it is the 'Hall' shirt and was issued to me too big. So, that is the picture of Mary G Eightythree as she appeared at the hall to work the cash at a dinner.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I have a bra on. You can take the girl out of the fifties, but you cannot take her out of her bra, even when she was supposed to be burning it.
High heels? Pointed toes? Fine elastic straps? You are kidding, right? Sensible shoes or runners with good laces. In Eastern Ontario we put these away in November and wear boots or slippers indoors for the next six months. Sigh.
Oh, and I only wear pinchy nosed glasses. All the others slip (just typed 'slop') a lot. This is fun.
ReplyDeleteMary--I am still waxing and plucking my black eyebrows. I am thanking my father for my Croatian genes, which still have me overwhelmingly darkhaired. Would that I could pass some of these brows over to you!
DeleteI am chuckling at "decent trousers." Jeans, khakis, grey flannels? Only patched in one place, but still knife-creased? And may I recommend a camisole to you instead of a bra? Warm, keeps things in place, but not so uncomfortable.
My slippers are employed constantly in the evenings, starting at 7pm. And I'm asking for a new pair this Christmas.
Decent trousers are the ones I do not cook in. I wipe my hands on my bum.
Delete1. Makeup My natural skin colour is very pale and frankly pasty-looking, so I do wear a bare minimum of make-up on a daily basis. The bare minimum = lipstick + eyebrow color. I say “eyebrow color” because I actually use brown eyeshadow to outline my non-existent eyebrows: ever since my car accident in my early 20s when I put my face through a windshield, my eyebrow hairs pretty much stopped growing. Currently, I have about 4 hairs on each side, 2 of which are white. For a special occasion, I do add eyeshadow and a bit of blush.
ReplyDelete2. Jewelry I sure have a ton of it that I never wear anymore. I developed allergies years ago to anything that wasn’t high quality silver or gold. Can’t wear earrings at all, not even the snap-on kind. Once again, for special occasions, I do wear a favourite necklace / bracelet, etc., but I keep it to a bare minimum.
3. Wristwatch That I do wear off and on. Mostly for sentimental reasons because it’s a Movado that Luis gave me when I got my M.A. degree.
4. Wedding ring A few months ago I was horrified to discover one day that my wedding band was… missing! To be honest, it had been feeling loose for quite some time as I have lost quite a bit of weight in the last few years. But how do you not notice if your ring falls off?!! I have searched high and low around the house and no luck. Could have fallen off when I was out and about, though. Re: having to have your wedding ring cut off: geez!!!
5. Bra Well, I think we “covered” that in a fairly recent post, lol. On in public, but mostly off at home.
6. Fussy Shoes Decades ago I was into shoes (and handbags because there were such beautiful leather handbags in Spain.) But never anything with uncomfortable heels. A doctor once told me that has saved me from getting bunions. These days it’s unthinkable to even wear any kind of heel due to the osteoporosis in my left hip. I wear my Sketchers when we go out for walks and the rest of the time my Mary Jane flats. If I’m home all day and not going out, I wear my fuzzy comfy Bombas socks with the non-slip grips on the bottom. And yeah, I probably look like a peasant, but… who cares? Now that I am old, “I shall wear purple” … and fuzzy socks, lol.
7. Glasses with those nose pad thingies Dear God in heaven, do they even make those anymore?! My glasses do sometimes slide down my nose a bit, but I would never use the nose pad thingies. Luis and I are both going to need cataract surgery in the next couple of years for sure. There is an expensive option (not covered by Social Security) that fixes both near and distance vision, but I have heard it is safer to go with one or the other (which is covered by SS) — fix distance and wear glasses for reading or fix near vision and wear glasses for distance.
8. Not on your list, but: Dresses I never wore dresses when I was teaching (except for decades ago in Spain when I gave private English classes in a few companies). Too expensive, too much upkeep. I wasn’t into what I think used to be called “power suits,” either. I have a few dresses in my closet for special occasions if I need one, but honestly, even that hasn’t happened in years, and the dresses I have are very outdated. I’m so boring, lol.
Ortizzle--Dresses! I used to wear a lot of dresses in the summertime. Cool, breezy, so easy to just pull over your head, and voila! Dressed for the day. I wore them in winter, too: sweater dresses with tights and boots. Same thing, so easy. Not anymore. All donated. I just sort of stopped wearing them. I still like to wear dresses for weddings and things, but not everyday wear.
DeleteI wish I could donate some of my eyebrows to you, too, as I mentioned to Mary. They are still thick and dark, and I have to periodically wax and pluck. I am not complaining.
I'm so sorry about your wedding band! Did you look in your car? In your bed? Maybe it came off when you were putting clothes away or rummaging in a drawer. There is still hope!
Rick had cataract surgery on both eyes last winter. He was actually in a clinical trial, so the cost was almost entirely covered. He was hoping for the dual vision, but ended up having distance fixed and now just buys cheapo 2.0 readers for close up stuff. Maybe you can find out if there are any clinical trials?
Holy cow. One of my "close italics" indications in the text above ( ) was missing and the entire text afterward ended up in italics! Oh, well. Better than having it all in bold face. 😂
ReplyDeleteO--I read that entire part with SPECIAL EMPHASIS!
Delete😂😂🤣
DeleteYou have not given up. You've made choices and I think they all sound like good ones. Since you and I are leading semi parallel lives, this might not surprise you. I don't wear a watch anymore, but only because it broke (it's been years). I would like to wear one, because in my line of work - my hands are often too busy to pull out my phone but I can almost always see my wrist.
ReplyDeleteI've never worn much makeup. I don't wear it in the summer, mascara sometimes. In the winter, I might do a little blush if I look pale. I tend to wear lipstick when I leave the house, but not always.
I had some growth or something removed from my back, so I'm avoiding my bra and wearing a cami with a shelf bra. Love it. So comfy.
I don't do fussy shoes anymore. I wear dressy shoes as needed, but I only wear Mephistos or something else equally pricey. They last forever, are crazy comfy, and they look great.
I wear very little to no jewelry. I have a few nice necklaces, but only put those on for special occasions. I fear that my wedding ring will need to be cut off. I stopped taking my anti infamitories. Might've been a mistake. My fingers starting from the outside (pinky) and working in from there are like sausages that always feel broken. fun fact: I've never had my ears pierced. Grosses me out to think of it.
Ernie--STAY WITH THE CAMIS AND THANK ME LATER.
DeleteWhy would you stop the anti-inflammatories? Were there unendurable side effects? Can you take another kind? Getting a ring cut off is horrid and painful. Please try to avoid it.
I'm laughing about your broken watch, but only because I had a gorgeous sterling silver bracelet watch that I loved and when it broke/quit running, I just let it sit there for years and years. I donated it broken. It really was beautiful. WHAT IF IT WAS WORTH A MILLION DOLLARS NOW?
Nance, I Love the confidence and comfort this post exudes, and aspire to it myself.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, here's how I do on your list--it's mixed at best:
a 2-minute makeup routine when I get out of the shower;
shamefully, I LOVE jewelry;
I have my one watch (not a smartwatch), which is part of my "academic drag" and makes me feel ready to face a class;
I never take off my wedding ring (have only taken it off a couple of times for medical procedures in the past two decades); (I WAS HORRIFIED TO HEAR YOU'D LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!)
I need a bra (plural if I'm exercising);
thank god I outgrew fussy shoes and thankful Dansko, Clark, and Aerosoles make stylish shoes that last ages;
never had those glasses, and now I get multiple readers from the dollar store to leave at every reading station.
maya--I'm so glad that you interpret this post in that way. I'm not sure that they should be Life Goals for anyone; they're just where I find myself these days.
DeleteI know a lot of people--men included--who love jewelry. I don't think it's shameful at all. I look at it like body ink--some people like to adorn their bodies. It's like makeup, too. Some women and men like to use their face as a canvas. As long as they're doing it for themselves and not to satisfy some societal paragon of beauty, I think it's great.
Trust me, I wasn't trying to lose all that weight. It was a side effect from the Topamax. That is a really tough drug to get used to, and I was stepped up to a really high dosage to try to get my migraines under control. Hard times, then.
I still love to look at fussy shoes--especially the ones in my own vast collection of yore--but I can't justify buying them. That time in my life was a lot of fun, and I loved those shoes. Now, like you, I buy shoes that last longer, both in style and wearability.
Oh, the huge basket of cheapo readers I had in every colour, pattern, and shape back when I wore contacts! My students used to pick out a pair for me each day to match my outfit. I bought them at my funny grocery store for 78 cents and yes, at the dollar store, too. They're the best, and if you leave a pair someplace, no big deal.
It's so good to see you here, my friend. XO
I still wear almost all of that stuff, but I yearn for the day when it's only occasionally "necessary" (I realize that jewelry and makeup aren't necessary, but really they are at this point in my life - ha!). I do take all the things off when I get home & put on my loungewear & sneakers.
ReplyDeleteOh! I don't really wear heels. In fact, I recently got some cowboy boots and I think they're messing with my back. Darn it.
Bug--Cowboy boots?! You have really gotten Ohio out of your system.
DeleteI know you love your jewelry. And so what? If it brings you Joy, then good for you.