It's a good thing we're not meeting for coffee because we'd be sitting for hours and hours, and you might get all jacked up on caffeine, whereas I--a decaf drinker--would probably be in and out of the bathroom a lot after having switched to Just Ice Water after my second cup.
Anyway.
I have a lot to talk about in no particular order, so let's get started.
So, I went to my superhero neurologist to try and figure out what the heck is going on. He ordered two dozen blood tests after a thorough exam. As the results came in--and some are still coming in--I was shocked to find out just how thorough Dr. B was being. He had my blood tested for all the hepatitises (hepatitisi?), various levels of vitamins and minerals and metals, and of all things, syphilis. I cannot wait to go back and see him next week for my EMG and to ask him Just What Kind Of Girl He Thinks I Am. So far, everything has been negative or within mostly normal levels. The initial diagnosis is Peripheral Neuropathy, but he is not sure of the underlying cause for it. I'm also getting a thoracic MRI to look at my spinal cord whenever the insurance gods/company says I'm allowed. In the meantime all I can do is take one day at a time. I cannot build strength or stamina; the condition does not allow for that. I miss my walks and my life. Honestly, I'm scared.
The book Orbital is beautiful and breathtaking on every page. As I read it, I felt transported and awed. The cadence of the book is somehow sweeping, yet measured. The language is poetic and majestic without being overwritten. I cannot tell you how many times I had to put the book in my lap and look up from it just to savor a moment of language.
Until I read this:
It's really something, this typhoon, Pietro says when he comes to join her. They watch it hone in on the Philippines and Taiwan and the coast of Vietnam. Its spiral flings clouds for hundreds of miles around a hole-punched siphoning eye. (p84)
My own eye felt hole-punched. With a big red-hot stabby thing. How could she? How could Samantha Harvey make this mistake? How did it get past editors? UGH.
Hone--to sharpen a blade or refine a skill
Home--to focus on a target or goal; to move or aim toward a destination with accuracy
This irritates me so mightily. It's right up there with the misuse of palette/palate/pallet (they're all different things, people!), and...well, to be honest, pretty much everything.
Still, 99.999% of Orbital is wonderful. Consider this extract from a paragraph:
Our lives here are inexpressibly trivial and momentous at once. Both repetitive and unprecedented. We matter greatly and not at all....death is so close. Life is everywhere, everywhere.
Speaking of books, I also finished The Wager, a terrific nonfiction book about a British shipwreck and mutiny in the 18th century. Engie reviewed it some time ago, and I was intrigued. I also discovered it was written by the same author who wrote The Lost City of Z, one of my favourite nonfiction books, so I knew it would be engagingly written. And it was. I have no quibble at all with the book, but there were several things that just astonished me. First of all, many, many of the career seamen on the ship DID NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIM. Apparently, this was not unusual among seafarers. How in the hell do men decide to join the navy or be a mariner, knowing they could be months or years on a boat that could be swamped by waves, fully cognizant that they could become shipwrecked or lost, and still say, "No problem. Swimming is not a skill I'll need when out on the seas with no land in sight"?
I think you need to read this book to marvel at all the other incredibly ridiculous decisions these men made in the name of service to the crown, personal honour, and loyalty to their commander at the expense of their own personal safety and survival. I wanted to smack them so, so many times. And tell them to GET REAL FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.
Walmart Needs To Make Up Its Mind About Aquatic Animals And Safety.On a slightly related watery note, if you've been a longtime reader, you know that if there is an animal story in the news, I'm all over it; that is my vow to you. Credit for this one goes to Rick, who knew I'd be charmed by the headline. I think you will be, too:
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ALLIGATOR NO LONGER WELCOME IN PENNSYLVANIA WALMART
I want to thank David K. Li, the reporter on this important story, who provides us not only with this fantastic headline, but the story and video that I want all of you to go read and watch right now. In case you are hesitating, the alligator--leashed--sits in the shopping cart whilst wearing a dress and, in another scene, luxuriates contentedly in a fur collared sweater in her owner's arms. This alligator is about as dangerous as a bunny rabbit, yet Walmart has banned it. “The safety of our customers and associates is our highest priority,” Walmart said. “We welcome service animals in our stores, but it is unacceptable to expose members of the public to potential danger.”
Oh, really, Walmart? This is pretty ironic, coming from the place that sold radioactive shrimp to thirteen states. And if you bought a bag of that irradiated shrimp, don't return it for a refund, say officials. Simply throw it away! Share that radioactivity with the world as it rots in a landfill. Did you eat it? Are you having ill effects? Contact your medical provider. Will Walmart pick up the tab? Oh ha ha it is to laugh.
Maybe seek some solace from your emotional support alligator. Just don't take it shopping with you when you go get your prescription from the Walmart pharmacy.
I don't get how college football is a bigass deal. Maybe it isn't in your state, but I'm in Ohio, and a lot of people here are huge Ohio State fans, and they are obnoxious about it. Here's what I don't understand: how can you be such a big fan of a college you never even went to? I got my undergrad degree from Bowling Green State University, and I could not possibly care less how their football team does. Ever. Also? Why does Ohio State get all precious and persnickety and call themselves The Ohio State University? Why the The? It's stupid. And pretentious. I automatically refer to all the colleges I went to as The now: The Lorain County Community College; The Bowling Green State University; The Ashland College (now University). I also took some grad classes at The College of Mount St. Joseph, but they legitimately have a The in their name. I urge all of you to add a The to wherever you went to school just to diminish Ohio State's use of it for prestige and to call attention to how positively ridiculous it is.
Okay! That was a lot. Tell me the The names of your schools and All Kinds Of Other Things in Comments.
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The doctors do love to be thorough, and unfortunately, a lot of patients lie about past activity. So even though you're weren't that kind of girl, they can't take your word for it. I had it happen with my mystery rash-tons of expensive bloodwork came back negative. I swear the doctor was disappointed when it wasn't hep B or Hep C or AIDS.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think sailors thought it was bad luck to learn to swim? And unfortunately the alligator is not a trained service animal, so Walmart has that right to ban. I frankly would want a shopping cart that an alligator sat in ( no matter how stlyish it is.)
The Drew U and The Rutgers U doesn't have the same panache as yours !
Enjoy the day, mysterious illness not withstanding.
-mbmom11
Whoa nelly I do not know where to start. I mean, yay, you don't have syphilis? I guess I'll start there. But boy oh boy I sure hope that they get some answers for you soon, because this kind of exhaustion and inability to live your life the way you want really is awful.
ReplyDeleteHmmm what next, what next. I liked Orbital a lot and I completely missed that!
I am astonished when people can't swim and then operate watercraft. My son worked at the marina this year and there was an incredible amount of people that they'd have to send the rescue boat for because they flipped a jetski and couldn't swim. ASTONISHING. My parents live on a lake in the middle of Alberta and every single year someone dies because a storm comes up (it's the prairies!) and then a boat flips and the person isn't wearing a lifejacket and then they drown. This is a long run on sentence but you get what I'm saying. I mean, I AM a good swimmer and also I always wear a lifejacket while boating/ paddleboarding because you never know. What if something hits me on the head and knocks me out? It's the same as people biking with no helmets. A DUMB IDEA.
Well I shall have to leave my alligator at home if ever I go to the US again, particularly if I ever go to Walmart in Pennsylvania. All of these things seem unlikely.
I hope the doctors figure out what is plaguing you - and most importantly, how to treat it! It sounds so very awful!
ReplyDeleteI will admit I had to look up palate/pallete/pallet to make sure I was using them correctly. I will say my English education is very lacking. I went to a K-12 school in a rural town of ND and my education was subpar compared to my peers. I mispronounce many words because I never heard them uttered and after you say a word a certain way in your head for a long time, it's really hard to change how you pronounce it! I was a voracious reader so much of my vocabulary came from reading books, not from conversations.
I've always wondered why OSU calls themselves "The Ohio State University." I mean, is there another school trying to pretend to be OSU so they have to make it clear that they are "THE OSU"? I did not realize how big of a deal college football was until I spent a year in Charlotte. Southerners are VERY PASSIONATE about college football. I couldn't care less. I went to The University of North Dakota. We are known for our hockey program but I do not follow the team. I just really do not care about college athletics at all.
My BIL is an excellent water skiing - but he does not know how to swim! I find that to be an odd combination!! Granted he always skiies with a life jacket but still. How odd to learn that sport having not learned how to swim!!