And here's me, trying to think of the last time I ran. Oh, ha ha. It is to laugh.
Perhaps I shall have to run one day soon. You see, each day on my walk, I pass by a tall fence bordering the sidewalk, and peeping out from its slats are a few fronds of a cherry tomato plant. Every so often, there is a perfectly cheerful little ripe tomato, completely red and plump, hanging there to greet me. I've been picking them and eating them as I go on about my way, telling myself that it's Perfectly Okay, that they're Sidewalk Tomatoes, all the while living in fear that the gardeners will one day catch me at it and I'll have to a) run like hell and reroute my walk; or b) face up to my sin and apologize like the Tomato Thief I am.
More likely, I'll walk by one day and there will be a sign that says STOP STEALING OUR TOMATOES! THIS MEANS YOU!
All of those things sound terrible.
But today, I ate two of them and they were terrific.
image
You rebel! Flaunting yourself up and down the street while secretly stealing a tomato. Oh you do surprise and inspire me.
ReplyDeleteAlly Bean--Hee hee! I know! I am usually such a Rule Follower, but every now and then, I go rogue and take a walk on the wild side. Or the produce side, as the case may be.
DeleteI'm glad I can still surprise after all these years. It's so good to know!
Reminds me of last year when I brazenly stole a pomegranate from a bush nearby...I thought of replacing it with one from the grocery store, but then thought, what if they don't even like them? Now I will confess to eyeing the pomegranates that are currently growing on that same bush...
ReplyDeleteLikely there are plenty of tomatoes on the other side of the plant, that they have all they need. That sounds like a rationalization, but hey, I'm good at it.
J@jj--I remember your pomegranate theft! It was only the one, wasn't it? After all, it's not like you stood there with a basket and completely denuded the bush.
DeleteYes, there are a ton of tomatoes on the rest of the plant! As I walk by, there is a low gate, and I can see into the yard. They have lots of plants and they are loaded.
They also have a very charming tabby cat who I am quite taken with, and the feeling is mutual.
Nance, indeed it was only one. But there was only one on the bush, so that’s bad. I don’t know how many pomegranates a tree or bush usually grows, but I never see them in yards with more than 3 or 4. The ones that are cultivated by farmers probably grow a lot more.
DeleteThis makes me laugh. I don’t know which image I like more - Nance furtively plucking tomatoes & slinking away or Nance brazenly popping them in her mouth & sauntering away. Ha!
ReplyDeleteBug--Hee hee. It's really sort of a Furtive Joyful Plucking and Brazen Popping, then Blissful Jaunty Walking Away. They're really good!
DeleteThey probably have you on a video tape snatching the tomatoes. LOL
ReplyDeleteJean--Oh, holy hell. I never thought of this.
DeleteWell, what's done is done. What do you think the sentence is for Tomato Theft?
I loved when people would pick a cherry tomato off my little corner of volunteer tomatoes one summer. IF they were OUTSIDE the fence, I figured they were for anyone!!
ReplyDeletekathy b--This is my logic entirely. My husband is completely aghast at it. He will not come around to our way of thinking, either. Thank you for this response, which I shall share with him immediately.
DeleteI can just picture you sashaying (is that spelling correct???) about the neighborhood...probably looking for other "sidewalk plants" offering up their goodies. But here is another way to look at it - you are actually doing your neighborhood a favor and preventing a serious potential accident!! If you did not pluck and eat the tomatoes hanging through the fence, they could fall off and make a slippery mess on the sidewalk. You are doing everyone a favor!
ReplyDeleteVera--Oh, how I do love the word sashay. I don't do much of it, and I'm certainly not doing it as I walk for my Exercise and Wellness. But oh! if only there were other Sidewalk Plants offering up their goodies, as you say! There is a huge and wondrous lilac bush that I stop and bury my face in during its blooming time, but I don't pick from it. Lilacs don't stay nice.
DeleteI like the idea of me being a Neighbourhood Safety Officer, protecting everyone from Tomato Mishaps. I'm really quite Heroic, aren't I?
Thank you for that. I will use it for ammo against my husband, who says I am defying logic with all my arguments.
We used to have a neighbour whose zuccinni (?) grew through our mutual fence into our yard. It was most prolific. There would be huge fruit everywhere in season, our side, her side, yikes. None of us like zuccinni. She also used to arrive at the back door with zuccinni bread, pickles, etc. I would have welcomed any poacher with open arms.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand. TSK! Thievery.
Mary G--I love zucchini. I just used some in the sauce I made for rigatoni last night (along with Italian sausage and red bell pepper). Zucchini is best when it's small; people usually let it get far too big.
DeleteSigh. Probably I deserve your caps lock tsk. In its purest form, it is Thievery. I feel, however, that there are Extenuating Circumstances.
I think your neighbors would be thrilled you are loving their tomatoes!!
ReplyDeleteMeredith--Do you? I'd certainly like to think so. (I really am.)
DeleteDee—I feel like Tomato Felon is a bit over-the-top. I would prefer Slightly Inappropriate Tomato Appropriator.
ReplyDeleteBut thanks for your friendship and support! Means so much. 😘
Your Secret is Safe with us! *Winks*
ReplyDeleteBohemian—Whew! You guys are the best!
DeleteAnything outside the fence is public property and as a taxpayer, you own the sidewalk. So the tomato was actually yours and you were entitled to eat it. Even obligated, since it might otherwise fall on the sidewalk and create a hazard for others.
ReplyDeleteNCmountainwoman--Gosh, I am starting to feel really good about eating those tomatoes now. Saintly, even.
DeleteI can't wait to point my Judgy Husband to this Comments section. He's such a grump about this.
Hope you've been feeling tip-top and are doing whatever you want to do.
Thanks. I am doing well and still defying the odds, basking on the best spot of the bell curve.
DeleteLOL. Run, the only time I hurry is when nature calls.
ReplyDeletesquire--Hi, and welcome to the Dept. My, yes--I'm no runner, either, and I'm sure I'd feel it if I ever had to. Yikes.
Delete