More Free Wisdom And Helpfulness From My Readers: Part Two, The Things Others Told Us

This week we leave the homey atmosphere of the kitchen and its focus on cooking and head into perhaps the living room or coffee shop booth or office where we listen to some advice from a mentor or friend. We've all had those moments in our lives when, whether we've sought it or not, someone has told us something we needed to hear. That bit of wisdom arrived at just the right time, and we squirreled it away in our toolbox of Life Skills, taking it out as needed to hammer into shape some stubborn part of this project we call Living.

For Julie from Thinking About, it was her boss. He once told her, "You should celebrate everything that you can and want to because Life is hard enough; you might as well have some fun." She especially took this to heart when she found herself unemployed ten years ago. Julie says, "I looked for work, and tried not to worry about money, but I limited the time I was willing to spend looking for work. An hour or two a day, max. My theory was, there is a lot of bad that goes with being unemployed, the main ones being the money, the ego hit one takes, and the uncertainty of not knowing WHEN another job will come along. One should try to find the up side as well. So I took a lot of naps, walked the dog, went to matinees, borrowed books and movies from the library, had lunch with friends, and went swimming." Julie also celebrates lots of holidays, Canadian and American Thanksgiving, and anything else that sounds interesting.

I like this philosophy, which I read ages ago on her blog and took to heart immediately. It reminds me of how Rick and I don't keep track of the price of each bottle of wine in our cellar, nor do we believe in "saving" wine, per se. If we are together, that's occasion enough for a good bottle of wine. It also reminds me of my Creative Writing class. Every time my students finished reading a poem aloud in class, we all clapped enthusiastically, no matter what. I believe in a Lot Of Clapping, even now, for people in general. If I would not be looked upon as an Insane Person, I would clap for my cashiers. Seriously.

Ortizzle's wisdom arrived rather cataclysmically, during a breakup with her first serious boyfriend. His parting shot was cruel and ugly, but it stuck with her in a backhandedly beneficial way. Those words were "You should learn to keep your mouth shut." Many, many years later, she says, "I still haven't mastered it, but I am definitely a lot better than I was. My life-long instinct has always been to react verbally to nearly everything, and it has been a long, slow process of knowing when a few words will help and when they will hinder or make a situation worse, however much I feel they should be spoken."

Sigh. I learned this way way late in life. And like Ortizzle, I am still working to fight that instinct to weigh in, say what I know, correct some error, or generally blab. I recite Silencing Quotes to myself all the time: Discretion is the better part of valor. Less is More. Or, I'm reminded of Calpurnia in To Kill a Mockingbird, “It's not necessary to tell all you know. It's not ladylike- in the second place, folks don't like to have somebody around knowin' more than they do.”

Ah, To Kill a Mockingbird! That leads me to Reader Jennifer D., whose advice came to her from that book, from dear Atticus Finch. Jennifer D. wrote that she sometimes has "a tendency to get anxious about things and my mind gets carried away with the what ifs. In those moments it is helpful to me to remember the words of Atticus...when he tells his children, 'It's not time to worry yet.' It snaps me back to current concerns."

Longtime Readers here at The Dept. know of my profound love for TKAM. So much wisdom is contained in that novel. I learned a great deal about parenting from that book, from Atticus, and that it gives someone guidance and comfort in other ways does not surprise me in the least. "It's not time to worry yet" is something I often said to my children even as I masked my own anxiety and concern.  Perhaps this summer I'll read it again, despite the fact that I know whole chapters practically by heart.

I have one more post of this series to share. If you'd like to contribute, it's not too late. Email me: deptofnanceATyahooDOTcom. Have any of these Wise Words struck you? Chat with me in Comments.


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