Sunday, April 22, 2018

Today, I Feel Like A Genius. Read This And You Will Feel Like One, Too.



We join a Cleveland Sunday news show already in progress...

Robin: And today is National Jelly Bean Day! The sweet little treat is thought to be the invention of a Boston candymaker. His popular candy was sent to Union troops during the American Civil War. How about you, Ryan? Do you like jelly beans? I have to say that myself, I like Jelly Bellies better than jelly beans.

(Camera cuts to shot of Ryan the weatherman, standing in front of the map. For a moment he looks terribly confused; his mouth opens, then shuts. He glances at the camera, then looks over at the anchor desk.)

Ryan: Aaah...Jelly Bellies and jelly beans are the same thing. Jelly Bellies are a brand of jelly beans, Robin.

Robin: (voice heard, off, brightly) Oh wow! You learn something new every day!




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25 comments:

  1. Oh my. Bet you could stop Robin in her tracks if you told her that Kleenex is the brand name of tissues. Or that Xerox is the brand name of a printer. Or...

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    1. Ally Bean--Her little head would blow right off with all that Knowledge!

      (I mean, come on! It's not like Jelly Bellies aren't BEAN-SHAPED, even.)

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  2. Hahaha! What's really funny is that just today I threw out some Jelly Bellies that I got for Christmas. It was a variety pack & I ate all the ones that I thought were good (like cherry & cotton candy & blueberry) - all that was left was licorice & other weird flavors.

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    1. Bug--But you knew they were jelly beans, right?

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  3. Wow, I wish I could have seen that. It's the perfect amount of awkwardness.

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    1. Mikey G.--Whereas I'm actually sorry that I saw it. Sigh.

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  4. I would have been Robin in that scenario, lol.

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    1. Ortizzle--Oh, I don't think so!

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  5. "You learn something new every day" is a favorite phrase of mine. Reading this, I didn't get to use it. LOL Sometimes it really is amazing what we think is common knowledge and isn't it.

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    1. Jean--The bar is set SO LOW anymore to be intelligent. I feel surrounded by Duh.

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  6. Poor Robin - another dream dashed. ;-)

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    1. Bridget--She seemed thrilled with her new Smarts.

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  7. In this time, there is SO MUCH I wish I didn't know.

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    1. Sillyak--...but jelly beans. Come ON.

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    2. We're about 40 minutes from a JB factory/showroom. I spend my calorie allotment (with emphasis on ALOT) on chocolate.

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  8. My husband loves Jelly Beans. Eats a bag a day. A small bag but a bag!

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  9. What I love about Jelly Bellies - all of those jelly bean flavors in the same bag, yet - pull one out and it tastes just like the flavor it's suppose to be. Unlike, the regular jelly beans - every flavor in the whole bag taste the same. I'm told there is a slight distinction in the different flavors, for me, it's not enough to really notice. Personally, I love black jelly beans - licorice, yum.
    As for the smartness of some - I can only speak for myself when I say, I have never mistaken a brand for the actual product itself.

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    1. Denise--But she didn't even know that the brand WAS a jelly bean! I'm still trying to figure that out. What in the heck did she think they WERE? THEY ARE SHAPED LIKE BEANS!

      I suppose I should be grateful that she is just reading stuff off a teleprompter and not out in the world doing something that could be of consequence, like taking 911 calls or filling prescriptions.

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  10. I guess she has never been to the website, which has a page where you can buy products, and the page is...wait for it....Jelly Beans. Also, it's right on the packaging.

    Having said that, There are many flavors of Jelly Bellys that I do not like, whereas with other brands, I like most of them. Probably because, as another commenter noted, they all taste the same.

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    1. J@jj--Yep; it's the one I linked to, above. Also, as I said in reply to so many commenters, they are shaped like beans! I can't wait for National Ice Cream Day, when she tells Cleveland that "Myself, I like Ben & Jerry's better than ice cream!"

      Cheap jelly beans set my teeth on edge because their shell is so thick and sugary. I can't remember the last time I had any, but that would include Jelly Bellys, too. I just haven't been eating much candy. (What a sad sentence!)

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  11. Oh Wow! What a phrase. My question is: how did she get the job she has? Maybe I don't want to know...but then someone did point out she reads a teleprompter. Am guessing we should be thankful she can read?

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    1. Vera--She's very attractive and appeals to several demographics. Her personality is pleasant. If newsreaders and weather people would not have to ad lib so much, she would have been perfectly okay. But, as I'm sure it is with your local affiliate, they have a lot of back-and-forth and maintain presences on social media as well. It's like it drains their brains, if they have any to begin with.

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  12. Just getting back to blogging and see you’re still on break, too. Leave it to local TV news broadcasters to bring us all the latest most uptodate news stories and “educating” us in the process. What a prime example in the jellie belly jelly bean story!

    It’s not like Intelligence is a prime qualification to be considered “talent” in local television as I observed from working behind the scenes years ago in Columbus, during the heyday of local live broadcasting. News becoming increasingly entertainment-oriented, requiring ad libbed small talk, or astute analysis, often quickly reveals those broadcasters limitations, Same is true at network level and with many celebrities admired for their on-camera appearance, or character role. People enamored with those manufactured images partly account for how we ended up with who we have in D.C. I have to laugh when I hear people defending our leader’s behavior by saying, at least he’s honest, saying what he thinks — that’s debatable.
    .

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  13. joared--Sigh. Your comment went to spam, for some reason. And Blogger is not emailing comments, either.

    I completely agree with you about News becoming Infotainment now. Bring back Harry Reasoner, Walter Cronkite, Peter Jennings, Barbara Walters, and real journalists of their ilk. Or please, just have News Readers, period. I don't want personality with my News. I WANT THE NEWS. PERIOD. I couldn't care less about all the idle giggles and chit-chat in between, making me feel like I'm at a brunch or dinner party. Ugh.

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Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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