A Weekend At Nance's

Every so often, one or both of the boys will decide to have a Spendover at the Dept.  This is usually initiated by Jared, who is a less frequent visitor because he hates driving almost as much as I do.  He decides that he has had enough of the Fraternity Atmosphere of his place on the weekend, or that he wants to watch Cleveland Cavaliers basketball with his father, or that he wants real home cooking, or that it's someone else's turn to assume full responsibility for Othello, the household cat.  Invariably, Sam appears, and we are a Whole Family once again.  Once it's all over, I discover the following:

 Things Which Occur After Sam & Jared Have Spent Time At Home

1.  We are out of potatoes
2.  And the fancy pretzels
3.  And barbecue chips
4.  I have to clean up beard trimmings around the sink and soap dish again.
5.  There are way more recyclables to go out
6.  Oh, and we are out of salami, too
7.  I have inherited some miscellaneous laundry

Briefly, allow me to comment:

1.  The boys--and yes, they are in their twenties, but will always be boys to me--exist on restaurant food and pasta.  Jared will make baked potatoes, but neither one of them makes mashed potatoes with gravy (why would they?), so when they are going to eat here, I make sure they get a Traditional Sunday Dinner, if possible.  I roasted a turkey this past Sunday for them, and made a ton of mashed potatoes and gravy.

2. & 3.  Kind of self-explanatory.  We have a cupboard devoted entirely to snacks, hence its name "The Snack Cupboard." They both hit it pretty hard.  As far as fancy pretzels, they are Snyder's of Hanover Pretzel Pieces.  I highly recommend the Sea Salt and Cracked Pepper variety with a nice chilled Chardonnay.

4.  For some reason, they trim up here and cannot see those teeny tiny hairs behind the faucet and on the wall-mounted soap dish. I am positively manic about it--always screeched at them concerning it when they lived here--but still this skill eludes them. 

5.  The Pepsi consumption is unbelievable.  Jared is observing Sober February, or there may have been several brown bottles in there as well.

6.  Sam and his girlfriend stopped in yesterday.  He had a headache, and neither had had any lunch.  I told them there were coldcuts in the fridge, including salami.  Except...that there wasn't.  Jared had eaten it.  All.  In a day.  Okay.

7.  Where did this white sock come from?  Whose teeshirt is this?  What is this pair of boxers doing in the towel hamper?  Is that Sam's work outfit under the livingroom chair?  Sigh.

Why did I have all these bigass children?