Monday, November 28, 2011

Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign: Is It Just Me, Or Is Advertising Hilarious Anymore?

On Sunday we had a mission:  work pants for Rick.  Anyone who thinks that women are picky about pants needs to go shopping with my husband for his Work Jeans.  We went to several stores and he tried on approximately eleventy hundred pairs of jeans in about thirty-two different cuts and sizes and labels, all of which had problems.  I meekly pointed out a few other types, but let me assure you from the charred and smoking stump which used to have my head attached to it that they are not the kind of pants/jeans that he wants to just wear for work!!!  Okay?

As you can imagine from the above, I realized that I some time for myself and wander around a bit to look at...other things in the vicinity.  I spotted this sign in the men's department and got a bit confused.  See what you think: 
Maybe it's just the Mom In Me, but when I see the words Lightweight Training Pants, I think "teaching toddlers how to use the potty." This is further reinforced by the phrase below: "Duo Dry Technology." What are diapers doing in the men's department!?  ("Champion" ones, or no.)  Then I looked at the rack under the sign.

Nope.  Training Pants referred to these--regular old sweatpants.  You know...come to think of it, I never did think to look inside of them to see if they had a little spot for some Depends.

After our ordeal had ended (without pants, it must be noted), Rick rewarded my forebearance with a stop for ice cream.  Nearby was this strange

Why, here you can buy your Hoover and your anaphylaxis! Or, do you open the door and immediately get sucked in to a giant ball of pollen and...oh, I don't know...peanuts?  This store--oh, excuse me, WORLD--suffers from an identity crisis of vast proportions, for if you can see the small sign in the lower left, it helpfully offers "Sewing Machine Repairs & Sales" as well.  (And please, do not ask me what that horrifying thing is on top of the place.  I didn't even notice it until I looked at the photos at home.)

You know, if I had not felt mollified by a little peanut butter, chocolate, and vanilla treat, I might have been really upset that VACUUM & ALLERGY WORLD was closed.  Getting sucked into a vortex after hours of fruitless ManShopping would have capped off my week pretty well.


  1. LOL - that reminds me of the Bait & Sock shop we passed somewhere in rural Tennessee (or WVA or NC - all those rural areas just sort of blend together in my mind). I really wish we'd stopped - or at least have gotten a picture of it.

  2. I feel sorry for poor Rick, but I am secretly immensely pleased to know that men can go through (almost) as much shopping drama as women when it comes to finding just the right jeans. Mr. O., who ought to wear jeans for his work, does not, but he does wear cheaper brands of pants. No front pleats. And the pocket lining has to match the color of the pants. Let's not even get into shirts, which I have to take a seam ripper to in order to remove the inside neck label because they make him itch.

    Now... for The Thing On Top Of That Store. I think you need to go back to Vacuum & Allegery World with a telephoto lens. Personally, I Would Want To Know. Possibly it is a giant replica of a dust mite ( ). One can only hope that it was not a living creature. But... I Would Want To Know.

  3. So. Maryland4:06 PM

    Must I remind you that you are a legendary purse shopper?

  4. So. Maryland--I absolutely own my Hideous Shopping Proclivities. As my longtime Readers know, I have unabashedly written of them here. Many times. I've even written of my own Bluejean and Bra Shopping Aversions. Sigh. But aren't men supposed to be different? This petulance from my heretofore easygoing husband was a real shot to left field. Don't tell me you saw it coming! (Did you?)

    Ortizzle--I sympathize about The Tag Thing, and personally have had a tag that went unnoticed for years suddenly come to life and irk the bejesus out of me completely unprovoked. Several times. Don't completely understand the Pocket Thing, however, but...okay!

    I will go On A Mission FOR YOU and revisit Vacuum & Allergy World this week and thoroughly investigate the rooftop anomaly. After all, I've got Lots Of Time. Hee hee.

    Bug--Love those Bait & _______ stores along the roads as I travel. I have a post someplace about that. In my case it was Fireworks and Martial Arts or something like that. Nearby was the obligatory Guns & Candy store. You know, down the road from the "Adult" Bookstore and Video. How grown up.

  5. Mikey G.1:25 PM

    One of the things I love about traveling through developing countries is finding all of the random signs. Some of my favorites from Africa are as follows:

    "Tooter's Roadhouse" (Love the name)

    "Vulcanizing Oil" (At a gas station)

    "Mandingo Barbershop and Phone Charging" (A double whammy)

    "Except the Lord Cold Store" (No Shirt, No Shoes, and No God)

    And the all-time favorite:

    "Let's All Crap for Jesus" (Someone has a big problem with L vs. R)

  6. I think the bug on top of the building is a big spider left over from Halloween. Is that too practical of me?

    I wish you could have gone into the shop. My uncle used to have a Kirby vacuum repair shop, and I think they also did some sewing machine repairs. I'll bet it would be like that. But allergies? Could people get a puffer there? Or is it about vacuum cleaners that are hypoallergenic? Inquiring minds want to know.

    The only sign that ever made me stop and take a picture like that was 'European Soul Food'. What's that?

  7. J@jj--I think pierogis and chicken paprikas both count as European soul food. Mmmm! I still need to go and take another look at that thing on top of that store. I'm just not out that way, and that particular road is a nightmare.

    Mikey--Since we got to have a lovely visit over Thanksgiving, I am proud to say that I actually got to see a pic of Mandingo's fine establishment. I so enjoyed our time together. (As I always do!)

  8. Mikey G.9:20 PM

    It was such a lovely visit!

  9. I burst out laughing when I saw a headline that read, "How to make chocolate candy bark." All I could think of was a Snickers going "Woof! Woof!"

  10. V--Love, love, LOVE it!


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