Scene. Interior of Teachers' Lounge. Three teachers are sitting and chatting aimlessly with not much to do because it is the last full day of classes before final exam week. Nance: (surveying supply of coffee) Wow. We have a lot of coffee left. I'm going to put it in the freezer for the start of next year.
Sue: Well, I don't drink coffee here. I stop at Convenient and get coffee every morning.
Dawn: And I don't drink much because of being pregnant.
Nance: Have you noticed the people at our Convenient lately? I absolutely hate going in there anymore. It's just depressing and terrible. I mean, if those people are in our neighborhood...ugh.
Sue: You mean the new employees? I know! I am about ready to speak to Sam, the owner. I hate the one cashier in there.
Nance: No, I'm talking about the clientele. I walk in there, and it's like walking into the *DMV. Who are these people? They're like the dregs of society! One time I saw a guy fish in the garbage outside and pull out a box of someone's chicken dinner refuse. And cigarette butts. I don't recognize anyone there anymore. (*Department of Motor Vehicles)
Sue: Well, I'm talking about the one cashier. I almost said something the other day. Every time I go in there for my extra large coffee, she hands me my change and says, "There ya go, darlin'."
Dawn: Oh, I hate that! I hate waitresses and cashiers and anyone who calls me "honey" or "sweetie" or "darlin'!" It's terribly demeaning. And now that I'm pregnant, it happens all the time!
Sue: I'm really this close to speaking to Sam about her. I mean it. After all, I'm 57 years old. She...is not. There is no earthly reason for her to call me "darlin'." Don't call me darlin' when you give me my change!
Dawn: "Don't call me darlin' when you give me my change!" That sounds like the title of a really bad country song!
Sue: (begins to improvise) Don't ca-all me darlin' when you gi-ive me mah cha-ange. Ah'm--
Nance: You're right. It is bad.
End scene.
I understand completely! The creepiest local troglodytes just seem to gravitate toward Convenients and the DMV. When I took my driver's test (two years ago, and fortunately the last time I stepped in there), there was this woman who looked like she crawled out of bed. She did not speak good English, for she had a translator with her who also had to explain to her how to use the testing machine. And, I'm now convinced that those who work there are just as inept as those who man the cashiers at Convenient because after spurting out two dozen wrong answers during the audio/visual test, the license lady OKed this lanky, plaid-plastered denizen to take his temporaries.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine going back there to update my license this month.
Teacher's lounge is a perfect barometer for figuring out how far along you are in the school year. I'd say it's lucky the year has ended when it has. :)
ReplyDeleteapathy lounge--oh, that was NOTHING. we didn't even use The Eff Word! LOL.
ReplyDeleteSteve M.--Hi! Nice to see/hear from you! The last time I was at the local DMV, it was actually not too bad. Only one person in pajamas--literally--and one toothless person. Sigh.
I dreaded my last trip to the DMV for exactly the same reason. Remember when it has the world's worst snack bar in there with the same two hotdogs going around and around for who knows how long?
ReplyDeleteBut when I finally went, I was the only customer. I must have hit it just right. Three minutes later I was out the door!
Maybe you all should cross the tracks and go to the ofher CFM. Its much better there. I hear that a lot of people don't like to go to yours anymore for several reasons. I wonder if the "darlin" cashier was a red head, do you happen to know? I have a feeling I know exactly who that cashier is.
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm fretting here...did the coffee get put into the freezer or what???
ReplyDeleteInteresting to read about the clientele...In our house we call them "job security." If I could figure out a way to buy stock in them I would.
I don't care what they say when they give me muh change as long as they don't ask me if I am having a nice day or if I "found everything all right." (What does that mean? Did I find everything in good condition? Did I find what I was looking for? Did I get lost in the store while I was looking for things I could not find?). lol.
ReplyDeleteOrtizzle--I know what you mean by that odd question. Sometimes, I actually answer it. "Actually, no. Why did you stop carrying Mr. Yoshida's Gourmet sauce? AGAIN? I really love it and you seem to capriciously stock it or not." The cashier just sort of stares at me and says something unintelligible, which leads me to believe that he/she has absolutely no intention of doing anything about my concerns. Why are they instructed--if, in fact they are--to even ask me that question? Sigh.
ReplyDeletedbso--LOL. Fret no more. I did put the extra cans of java in the freezer.
Nina--I don't know who that cashier is. I go into that CFM only about once a month. I usually send someone instead. I get peeved at the price for stuff other than bread, milk, lunchmeat. Once I needed a can of ripe olives. They were like $2.50. Insane. You know how "frugal" I am.
J.--Remember when the one employee there looked like a blonde Vampira? She was scary. Re: the Snack Bar. What does that tell you if they serve food there? PLAN TO BE THERE LONG ENOUGH TO BE HUNGRY. Yikes.
I stopped caring long ago if a cashier called me "darling" or "honey" unless the cashier was one I specifically knew and didn't like. Then it just aggravated the piss out of me, if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteTeachers lounges can be bad places ... if you weren't depressed when you went in, you sure will be by the time you leave. I did better when I avoided ours.
Shirley
Shirley--Oh, we definitely love to vent in the lounge, but we all know that's what we're doing and we don't let it get to us. This dialogue wasn't about school and I thought it was funny, so...
ReplyDeleteAlmost everything about this conversation is accurate...EXCEPT...I am still 55 and won't be 56 until June 14, this coming Sunday! 57 is another year away, thank you very much!
ReplyDeleteSue...don't call me darlin'!!!
Sue--mea culpa, dearie. you can call me 51 for awhile if it will salve your wounds!
ReplyDeleteYou can call me darlin, honey, sweetie, whatever. I'll take it. Terms of endearment are few and far between in my life.
ReplyDeleteAt the local unsupermarket (it's not a small grocery store, but neither is it super) one deli worker, about 18 years old, started calling everyone sweetie and honey. I'm old enough to be his grandmother. Pretty soon they were all doing it. I found an article from Ms. Manners online, printed it and sent it to the owner. They haven't been doing it since. I can't remember where I found the article or I'd leave the url here.
ReplyDelete