Sunday, January 25, 2009

Am I The Only One Keeping Up Appearances? (If So, Then The Martinis Will Have To Be Stronger)

On Friday Rick and I ate dinner out, and I indulged in two of my guilty pleasures, martinis and People Snarking. It's a terrible thing, I know, but I just cannot help but be continually aware of how some individuals simply do not care how they present themselves in public venues. True, we were only eating at a franchised restaurant, but it was still a nice one, and I have long maintained that if one is going out in public, one should bother to put on something more decent than what one finds on the Five-Cent Table at a garage sale and consult the services of, oh, perhaps a mirror before one goes out.


As Rick and I were having our drinks, I noticed a large table directly in front of my field of vision, inhabited only by a middle-aged couple, but set for a party of considerably more. The woman was wearing (horrors!) a baggy could-be-grey, could-be-light blue, who-the-hell-could tell sweatshirt, and her hair was a ratty, 80s modified page boy with feathered bangs and that terrible dry, home-highlighted-with-the-roots-showing look. The husband looked much more decently attired, which surprised me: sweater, Dockers, hair neatly combed. It did not surprise me one bit when their drink order arrived: two beers, a Budweiser and a Miller Lite. What did not arrive, however, sparked the following conversation:

Me: Do you see that? You have got to be kidding me.
Rick: What?
Me: Why on earth would you order a beer in a restaurant and not at least get a glass?
Rick: I don't know.
Me: That's just awful. It just looks terrible. If you have to order a beer, at least drink it out of a glass. Good heavens.
Rick: Well, I like beer, but for you tonight, I've stepped it up and ordered a Captain and Coke. Aren't you proud of me?
Me: Whatever. People could look over here and think you're just drinking a Coke. How would they know it's a rum and coke? They wouldn't. They could think you're a recovering alcoholic.
Rick: Well, if they knew what I lived with...


  1. Anonymous4:23 PM

    Oh, Nance, please, PLEASE come to Texas and tell people that it is O.K. to drink beer from a glass, frosted or otherwise. I am sick and tired of being served (on the rare occasions when I order beer, usually with spicy Mexican food), THE BEER IN THE BOTTLE WITH A STUPID PIECE OF LEMON OR LIME RIND STUFFED IN IT. This probably makes me even more O.F. (old fart) than I would like, but honestly... If I wanted to snort it from the bottle, it would be while swingin' my legs off the back of my own pick-up truck, and I WOULD BE THE PERSON WHO OPENED THE DANG BOTTLE.
    Urrrrrrrrrrrruppttttttttt! *sound of Ortizzle burping after taking a swig.*

  2. I'm curious as to why they were at such a large table and if they were ever joined by anybody (which I assume isn't the case, from the way you told the story).

  3. Mikey--later, they were joined by other couples who, oddly, were very sophisticated-looking and who ordered wine and martinis. those two were the ONLY beer-drinkers, and were very under-dressed compared to the rest of their party. i just didn't go into it for this post.

    Ortizzle--do you know that Corona invented the use of LIME for their beer? it isn't a Mexican thing at all. i forget where i heard that on tv. anyway, how hideous that in TX (home of you-know-who) they don't even routinely ASK YOU IF YOU WANT A GLASS, which they do here in OH. I know this because rick is always asked AND ACCEPTS. thank heaven.

  4. Anonymous6:14 PM

    Well, of course Corona is Mexican beer, but... the lime business is a Tex-Mex thing, and a not a fortunate invention as Tex-Mex goes. I'm not sure when people decided that it was cool to swig from the bottle in restaurants, but I get very strange looks when I request a glass for my beer. The same kind of strange looks I get when I ask if I can have oil and vinegar to dress my salad. "What? You don't want RANCH?" *sigh*

  5. oh. my. god. do you hear yourself (excuse me while i turn into you and grammy)?

    firts of all. what kind of beer was it? because there is nothing more hilarious than That Guy that orders a coors light bottle and pours it into a glass. now, if it were dort? fine. killians? conways? heineken? ok, cool.

    but from the sounds of it? im guessing it was a bud light or a miller light. in that case, do yourself a favor and just use the bottle.

    the real problem here is that all this alcohol is going on and nobody has any gin. or scotch. brutal.

  6. Anonymous9:56 AM

    Even when you are snarking others, you always turn it on yourself. That's what makes you Fair and Balanced. :)

  7. I am guilty of snarking myself. People watching is fascinating business. That said, I hope I don't have to go under your scrutiny, Nance. I was just trying to remember what I wore to UNO (to try out their new gluten-free pizza) last Monday. It was attire that met the work dress code, so I think I'd pass your inspection. (Breathing a sigh of relief.) However, I assure you I've been out with members of DH's family and have been quite embarrassed before. Let's just say some people think Hawaiian shirts are suitable for any occasions ... the same Hawaiian shirts worn again and again.

    I don't drink beer, but if I did it wouldn't be Bud or Miller Lite (incidentally, the two discarded varieties that we rescue the most from the river when we go canoeing by our property). But, I'll tell you why my husband usually drinks it out of the bottle. The bottle is cold; however, the glass rarely is. And, sometimes the glasses aren't totally clean (of course, I don't know about the bottles either). He did have UNO's draft ale that day though and it came in a nice chilled (and clean) glass.


  8. shirley--good heavens. certainly, if the glass is not clean, demand a clean one from your server. and then i would give that restaurant one more chance before i stopped going there. if they cannot 1) wash their dishes well 2) see that they are dirty 3) hire attentive servers who see that there is only clean dishware/cutlery going out, then they have major problems that would preclude me from eating there anyway. imagine what is going on there! anyway, i have no problem with people going to a casual dining establishment and wearing nice jeans, but please, what is up with everyone wearing tennis shoes and horribly baggy sweatshirts out to dinner? or jeans that are in such disrepair or are so short that they look like you interrupted your flooded garage reorganization project to grab a quick meal? sigh.

    apathy lounge--heaven help you if you just called me the fox news of blogspot. lol.

    jared/JPD--learn to read my posts. and don't plead your illness. i clearly stated the beer brand. stop skimming my writing. it is better than that. when you come home this weekend, i'm smacking you. HARD. and i'm hiding your gin.

    ortizzle--i want to kiss you for making NE Ohio sound sophisticated. yes, we have the ubiquitous RANCH dressing, but i've never had anyone not get beer with a glass, nor have i ever had a server look dubious if vinegar and oil were offered. of course, i choose my dinner companions carefully when I can...LOL. (Unless I have to eat with Jared.)

  9. Beers, Schmeers! When I go out in my blue/grey who-the-hell-knows-what sweatshirt with grease stains, I order red WINE!!! That way, the observer is left to wonder about the vintner and year and his (or her) eyes don't wander to my unfrosted roots:)
    And, more likely than not, after sniffing the cork, I get a glass!

  10. Anonymous12:23 PM

    Oh my, you are hard core. Give me a Corona with the lime stuffed down the neck of the bottle and a man who puts his hand on my thigh under the table.

    I am so done with being lady like. : ) I think it's another sign of my estrogen levels dropping and my libido loosening up.

  11. V-grrrl--I don't think it has anything to do with being "ladylike." If it did, you wouldn't have him put his hand on your thigh UNDER the table, you'd just clear a space and do it right on top. It's a question, I think, of "class" or, perhaps in another vein "civility" and really, self-respect, I think. Whatever happened to caring how you present yourself in public?

    FugueStateKnits--Good heavens, do not try to make me believe that you would ever drink wine out of a bottle at a restaurant. In 40+ years of dining out, I have never witnessed that. Thankfully.

  12. My husband thinks it's "Nicer" to drink coke out of glass than a can or a bottle. I like the cold of the can or bottle. Esp if the bottle is glass, instead of stupid plastic.

    In a restaurant, though, I would only drink it from a glass. At home, not so much. More dishes. And don't suggest ice, because I don't like my drink THAT cold. I know, whatever. ;)

    I've mostly given up on people snarking. I think perhaps I don't spend enough time with teenagers, so I forget.

  13. j@jj--at home, you can do whatever you want. absolutely. but out in public, which is what my issue is, i think it's classless to swig out of a bottle, especially for women, especially when it's beer. it might sound sexist, but there it is. it just looks trashy, and the way the woman in question already looked, she could ill afford to look any more trashy.

  14. Gosh, what's wrong with ordering a beer when you're out to dinner? I doubt that I'd order one in that particular place but I do prefer to have a beer with a burger as opposed to a cocktail or glass of wine. I'm thinking your being a little snobby, Nance!


  15. Nina--At a burger joint, a beer would be more understandable. At this particular restaurant, dressed like you're cleaning out the basement and swigging a brewski from the bottle is another thing entirely. I'd much rather err on the side of snobbiness in this case--in most, actually.

  16. So I came here and commented on not being a people snarker, and within hours, posted a snarky post on my own blog about how stupid people can be.

    Hypocrites R Us.

  17. j.@jj--LOL. I'll be over to check it out soon.

  18. you win. you did say. although, i did NOT skim, i just missed that part. also, did i mention that ive been dying of plague for the last week or so? i know you said not to lean on that but really, its all ive got.

    dont joke about the gin. that shit is NOT funny.



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