Friday, March 30, 2007

Playing Politics: Another Game For You

The Angel of Death's administration has made things way too easy to figure out: everybody is lying, everybody is cheating, and everybody who isn't smart enough to do that is an idiot. So I thought I'd provide you with a little brain teaser to test your political acumen and stretch out your current events muscles. Here's all you have to do: read the quotes below and match them with their speakers. I'll categorize them for you to help focus their context. Answers are given at the very end of the post, so grab a scrap of paper and a pen and scratch your head. It's time for Which Politico Pontificated?
Round 1: On The Iraq War
1. "We have misunderstood, misread, misplanned and mismanaged our honorable intentions in Iraq with an arrogant self-delusion reminiscent of Vietnam."
2. "We're not winning, we're not losing."
3. "He can swagger all he wants but we have 3,241 dead Americans."
Here are your possible speakers: A. Chuck Hagel, (R-NE) B. Tom DeLay, former senator (R-TX) C. Angel of Death D. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Round 2: On Running for President
1. "No tengo futuro." (translation: "I have no future.")
2. "I don't have any plans to run. Nor do I have any creative denials. I'm using the same ones. They'll soon be out on DVD."
3. "I'm going to tell you something, and whether or not it's plausible given the world you come out of is your problem. I am not 'running' for president. I am seeking to create a movement to win the future by offering a series of solutions so compelling that if the American people say I have to be president, it will happen."
4. "I've learned a lot of lessons being involved in politics. I also believe that when you are attacked, you have to deck your opponents."
Here are your possible answers: A. Arnold Schwarzenegger B. Hillary Clinton C. Jeb Bush D. Al Gore E. Newt Gingrich
Round Three: On the Current President
1. "He’s not accountable anymore, which isn't totally true. You can impeach him, and before this is over, you might see calls for his impeachment."
2. "The president listened too much to the Vice President... Of course, the president bears the ultimate responsibility, but he was very badly served by both the Vice President and, most of all, the Secretary of Defense... Rumsfeld will go down in history, along with McNamara, as one of the worst secretaries of defense in history."
3. "He has 24 months left in his presidency. I don't think I'm being mean-spirited by saying [that in] the first six years of his presidency, there's been nothing accomplished except the biggest foreign policy fiasco in the history of our country."
4. "I don't know if they're bad people. I don't know what's going on. I just know they got us into a mess, the likes of which this country has probably never seen. It's one of the great catastrophes of all time."
Here are your options: A. Donald Trump B. Harry Reid (D-NV) C. Chuck Hagel (R-NE) D. Newt Gingrich E. John McCain (R-AZ)
Round Four, Final: Potpourri
1. "I have a politically incorrect smoking tent -- I don't know if you have heard about that one. People come in there, Democrats and Republicans, and they take off their jackets and rip off their ties and they sit down and they smoke a stogy and they talk and they schmooze."
2. "If Al should decide to run -- which I'm afraid he won't -- I would support Al Gore."
3. "Let's say I believe firmly in Ronald Reagan's 11th Commandment: thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican. But it's very hard sometimes to adhere to that where Chuck Hagel is involved."
4. "I think that's weird and it's nuts. To suggest that everything we do is because we're hungry for money, I think that's crazy."
5. "I have to be in politics or I will evaporate."
Here are your choices: A. Nance of Dept. of Nance B. Pres. Jimmy Carter C. Darth Vader (aka VP Dick Cheney) D. Pres. Bush #41 E. Pres. Bill Clinton (if there were gold font I would put his name in it) F. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger
Round 1: A C D
Round 2: C D E B
Round 3: C E B A
Round 4: F B C D E
How'd you do? Was it fun? All quotes were supplied by Taegan Goddard's Political Wire. I am on their daily mailing. I highly recommend a subscription to this feed if you're a (Democratic) political junkie like I am. If you didn't do so well, that can only mean one thing: you'd better start upping your dose of "Meet the Press" and Newsweek. Remember, a wise man once said that it was up to us "that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." Believe it or not, the guy was a Republican.
One of the good ones.


  1. I'm going to subscribe right now. I only got two answers correct. I suck!

  2. I haven't watched the news or read a news portal (unless you count Yahoo! and most people would not) in nearly two months. I'll tune back in after summer is over.

  3. i got 11. anyone who says they got more is probably lying.

  4. Yeah, but the republican who said that has been dead for centuries.

  5. Anonymous11:32 PM

    I got 5. Totally sucky job, and I have to admit, there were many I just couldn't answer at all. I just started subscribing to Newsweek, but so far my husband has more time to read it than I do. I have to read a book a week for grad school, so I don't get a lot of mag time; I miss the olden days when I traveled on the Metro. That was at least an hour and a half of solid reading time every day.

    But the quiz was fun. I love quizzes. Do another one with fewer choices and easier questions for the politically challenged, heh, heh. I am disappointed, by the way, that one of those quotes wasn't yours. I was so convinced you were responsible for Number 1 of Round 4. ;-)

  6. Anonymous10:33 AM

    All I can say is I've picked a great period in history to be an American living outside the U.S.

    Do I really want to go home?

  7. nina--only 2! but were they the trump and schwarzenegger ones? if that's the case, then you really are in trouble!

    fringes--tune back into politics, i hope. The Dept. will be back to regular programming in its next post.

    donnage--11 is superior. but i know where you get it.

    brookelina--how true. and believe me, i am still working on a way to make abe a democrat. revisionist history is my hobby.

    ortizzle--hey! i am so not a fan of cigars and republicans that i know you are just baiting me. but i'll come up with a suitable quiz that is perhaps non-political and shorter. geeze--what on earth would it be about then?

    v-grrrl--you know, i was actually thinking that exact thing when i was preparing this quiz, and i am not kidding. i've always been suspicious of the timing of your expatriation anyway.

  8. Anonymous1:35 PM

    Nance: For those of us who are more 'current events challenged', you could simplify it by using one quote at a time and opening up the field to include people from all walks of life. Maybe something like this:

    NAIL THE QUOTE GAME: Who said it?

    1. “I’m not some Tammy Wynette standing by my man.”

    A. Hilary Clinton
    B. Anna Nicole Smith
    C. Michael Jackson
    D. Nora Ephron
    E. Laura Bush

    O.K., that was tongue in cheek, but it's fun if you throw in at least one ringer as well. I'm just sayin' ... :-)

  9. I got 10 right. Not bad I guess.

  10. Ortizzle--Sigh. Okay, I get it. You want me to dummy it down, just like American education. Well, I'm used to that. LOL.

    moheckie/SoMdPrincess--10 is darned good. You are a stone-cold politico. And it's nice to see you back in the comments at the Dept.

  11. Anonymous8:04 PM

    Nance: Yes, I hate to admit it, but I am a total inculto, got no "culchah." I feel your frustration, however. In my Spanish IV class (mostly Seniors in a college prep school, mind you), I am constantly amazed at how I must teach them English before I can teach them Spanish. I am met with blank stares when I tell them that words such as "clandestino" and "gastronomía" are simple cognates of English words. Sigh... anyway, forgive my ignorance.

    By the way, I went to the link for the tie report and couldn't find the one where he was wearing the famed red tie. Just wanted you to know that I tried! :-)


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