Thursday, November 03, 2016

It's A Crabfest, But No Bibs Or Melted Butter Needed (Although Who Says No To Melted Butter, Ever?)

Well, it's been another ten days or so and no post here at the Dept. Heavy sigh. I have absolutely No Legitimate Excuse other than Generalized Malaise and Slothfulness Overmuch. And Intermittent Crabbiness.

This Crabbiness thing is both perplexing and annoying. (Is that redundant? Is it sort of dumb to say that being Crabby is making me...Crabby?) I find that I'm irritated by being so irritated. It's a Vicious Circle. (And for those of you who are nitpickily wondering if that last term should be "Vicious Cycle", I was too, so I checked--of course--and I'm correct.)


While other writers are using November to be Grateful or write a Novel In Thirty Days, here I sit, bitching and grumping. Maybe I need to get it all Out Of My System, once and for all, so I can Move On. You know, the whole Catharsis thing. So, here's a (partial, I'm sure) list of

What's Making Me Crabby

1. Seeing 'S Used For Plurals
2. Cervical Myofasciitis
3. Ohio Being Exactly Like Texas Anymore
4. My Grocery Store Remodel
5. Closer by The Chainsmokers
6. the republican nominee, ugh
7. Nothing Sounds Good To Eat
8. Cat Hair
9. My Left Contact
10. Not Sleeping

Let's chat about a few of these, shall we?

1. NO WORDS USE AN APOSTROPHE TO MAKE A PLURAL. Just let that be your rule, period. There is a sign on a bar near my house that says TACO TUESDAY--TACO'S $1. Every time I see it, which is every single day I drive, I have a small fit of rage/frustration. The same sign says GO BROWNS! Why no apostrophe there? Apostrophes on nouns show ownership. If something is not being owned, DO NOT USE AN APOSTROPHE. Are there odd exceptions? Yes, but for average daily writing, just remember APOSTROPHES DO NOT MAKE PLURALS. Just stop it, everyone. (Look at all those words that ended in S. Not a single apostrophe needed. PLEASE HELP ME.)

2. Now I know why my headaches have increased in frequency and my neck and shoulders are killing me. And why my sleep is almost nonexistent (see #10). **Breakthrough! This could explain my Crabbiness.** This also means Physical Therapy, which I find embarrassing and goofy. But I know its value. (See that "its"? NO APOSTROPHE.)

3. Ohio is pretty much a red state, except for NEO and Columbus. Ugh.

4. It now takes me twice as long to get shopping done. Why can they not remodel and reconfigure and restock at night and in ONE DAY? ONE WEEKEND?

5.  I cannot escape this song and don't like it. It has made the radio almost an impossibility.

8. I really feel like some knitter person who is looking to spin his/her own yarn would want the surplus hair that my cats belligerently produce on an hourly basis. Really, it is lovely. And abundant. And, judging by the price of this scarf, could be quite valuable, since it is a Natural Fibre.

9. I cannot see out of my left contact about an hour after I put it in. Is there anything more soul-crushing than sitting in a doctor's waiting room? This is why I cannot even contemplate making the appointment, though I know I must. (BONUS--SEE THE APOSTROPHE + S AFTER 'DOCTOR'? THAT IS BECAUSE IT SHOWS OWNERSHIP. NOT MORE THAN ONE DOCTOR.)

Sometimes, after I give vent to a particular bout of Crabbiness, Rick will say, "But you still look good."  Even though this is terribly shallow and petty and even smacks of being sexist and sounds like he is trivializing my frustrations, I was the one who sanctioned this remark.  Let me tell you why.

Firstly, I am incredibly vain, as most of you know.  Secondly, when I go off on a Major Round Of Crabbing, it's usually about something trivial and timely, not Deep and Profoundly Personal.  Finally, if I am not Effectively Derailed by something Pleasant or Light, my Crabbiness will take root and ruin the rest of my day/evening.  The line has now become sort of a punchline to my bitching and gives me a chance to breathe and smile.

And I'm smiling now.  That must mean it's your turn! (IT + IS = APOSTROPHE!)  How about letting some of your Crabbies loose, and we'll have our own little Crabfest in Comments?



  1. I would like to comment, but... I am waiting for No. 10. = Not Sleeping. Particularly since I have been having issues with this recently. Am I seeing an un-edited version of this post?

    1. Ortizzle--No, this is the post. I said that I'd chat about "a few", and admittedly, did talk about more than a few, but left out 10, 7, and 6.

      But, since you are also having Sleep Problems, let's do chat about them. I've been having problems falling and staying asleep, which is exacerbating my migraines, which are already more frequent due to my neck and shoulder problems, which are also causing me to have sleep problems. Sigh.

      Interestingly, however, (because I feel like the above was NOT) I have heard so many people lately crabbing about sleep problems. We have lots of company. I hope you bank some shut-eye soon.

    2. I have no idea if this will publish or not, but what I can say is that this is the 5th time I have clicked on PREVIEW, and had no response, and ALSO... HAD THE TEXT WIPED OUT! I composed in Word and did a cut-and-paste for the last 3 times, so I am hoping that by clicking PUBlISH rather than PREVIEW, that it will work on this 5th attempt!(Throwing caution to the wind, haha!)
      So... sorry for the misinterpretation of “a few of them.” ‘My bad’ as my students would say.

      BTW: I just wrote a detailed response to this which, after checking in the ‘preview version’ before publishing, refused to allow me to post! Something very odd is happening to my computer, for sure. I will try to re-construct (in Word first, so I can cut and paste if things go awry again!)

      I attribute a substantial part of the problem to 2 very bad habits I have which, up until now, have not affected me, but... at this point... I think are beginning to be ‘an issue.’

      1.) COFFEE: I have 1-2 cups in the morning. (Read: ‘normal cups’ --- not the industrial-sized Starbucks Venti coffee which is the strength of a strong, after-dinner coffee enjoyed in Europe, but with with 20 oz. of damage instead of 2 oz.!) I used to be able to have a late-afternoon/early-evening pick-me-up coffee, but now... not so much. If I consume coffee after 5 or 6 p.m., even if I do not go to bed until 11 p.m. or midnight... I am screwed. The feeling of desperation is profound: heart palpitations all night long. And no sleep until several hours later, which is usually about an hour before I have to get up to go to work.

      2.) SLEEP DEPRIVATION: The result of No. 1 leads to No. 2: I get home late afternoon, totally sleep-deprived, and desperately need a kip for 1-2 hours or I will not be able to continue on. I then wake up from the kip and frequently need another coffee rush so I can completely come out of my total stupor and carry on with the tasks at hand. Otherwise, I would sleep from, say, 4 p.m. to 11 p.m., and be pie-eyed (not in the drunken sense) all night long again!) So... in spite of the fact that the afternoon kip was really only to compensate for the lack of sleep from the night before, it nevertheless, along with a new caffeine rush, is sufficient to screw up the next evening of solid sleep for any more than 1-2 hours.

      3.) HOW MUCH OF THIS IS ALSO DUE TO ‘OLD-AGE INSOMNIA’? No freakin’ idea. But I am looking this up on Internet... :-)

  2. Ahah! The zodiac. (And I can get awfully crabby a out people who actually believe ths stuff). Imwishnyounwere not having so many problems it seems, though, that nothing can blunt your skill and your style. .

    1. Damn oversensitive touch keyboard!

    2. Mary G--I read my horoscope every day and promptly forget about it. I have to; it's right there in the Comics section of my newspaper.

      All of my Problems are minor compared to the Big One, which will be settled one way or the other on Tuesday Next. Then we'll see how everyone feels.

      Your compliments regarding my skill and style are so kind and much appreciated. As always, Dear Friend.

  3. It makes me really crabby that on my iPad you have to switch keyboards to get an apostrophe. It's cumbersome. Apple needs to rethink its set up, in my opinion.

    1. Mary G--Oh, I agree! In what world is an apostrophe "supplemental"? While I appreciate my iPad--a Christmas gift from Rick last year--I simply cannot stand to type on it at all. Its greatest value comes in browsing. And reading my newspaper on it is a tad irritating since I have to stretch it out and move everything all over.

      But--have you found the simple little game "Jotto"? Wonderful.

  4. I'm with you on the apostrophe thing. Also, I have a friend who types "opps" everytime she means "oops" and for whatever reason that makes me NUTS.

    Agree on the Republican candidate, and on my worst days, I fear he will win. PLEASE NO.

    1. Bridget--Thank you for the link to the Overpriced Scarf, by the way. It's like looking through a Pottery Barn catalog and seeing a $200 dog bed. Stupid.

      That makes me NUTS, too. So does "awe" when the person means "aww", as in "oh, how cute/sweet" something is.

      Here in Comments, I don't get crazy about typos because I am aware that some Dearest Readers are typing away on iPads, phones, or work computers. I also am So Grateful And Pleased that Readers are chatting about what I wrote that I simply don't look at any errors; I regard this as a sort of conversational forum, and that means informal language.

  5. Nance, Remember when you wanted to have a rabbit as your pet? Well, I think now is the time to get one. He will make you lose a lot of your crabbiness with his antics and cuteness and, here is the best part. If he misbehaves you can always blame him because you are having a "bad hare day."

    1. Nancy--I do remember that! I still love bunnies, but I don't think Marlowe, Resident Crabby Cat, will allow it.

      "Bad Hare Day." Hee hee.

  6. The scarf is nuts, the Republican candidate is nuts, and I am crabby too. And, believe I have sinned on the apostrophe business due to rushing (no excuse as it really irritates me too). Also those who type your instead of you're; their instead of there (or the reverse); etc. , etc.

    1. Vera--NUTS, NUTS, NUTS! LOL. I just did a survey about buying nuts. Unbelievably, it took 20 minutes. Talk about nuts.

      The Ongoing Saga of your/you're and there/their/they're is what Former Commenter phoebes would call a SHANDA (fantastic Yiddish word meaning a shame/a tragedy, but has a bit more nuance). It is a shanda because, truly, it's not that hard to discern when to use each one. AS YOU KNOW.


    2. Love the word SHANDA -- thanks for that.

  7. #3 While I understand your point of view, keep in mind that you are living in one of the two regions that has a bit of blue going on, while I am smack dab in the middle of the reddest part of this state. It is not a comfortable feeling.

    #4 I hear 'ya. Our local Kroger has been remodeling for about half a year now. I have little good to say about the experience, but am hoping that when it's completed it'll be the best damned grocery in the land.

    #9 I gave up on contacts decades ago. I'm sorry you have a boo-boo one, but would humbly suggest that any issue regarding eye health should be dealt with asap, putting aside rationalizations that keep you from doing so.

    1. Ally Bean--Here in NEO, we have YouKnowWho signs overmuch. I could vomit. Lots of brash, middle-aged white men in traditional roles who are easily threatened by strong women. So easy to spot his supporters. SO EASY.

      OH MY GOODNESS. NOT A YEAR. If my Marc's takes a year, I might do myself an injury. Every single person shopping on Wednesday was wandering around looking at other people's carts saying, "Where did you find your bread?"; "Where was that oatmeal?"; "Where in the hell is the ketchup?".

      RE: Eye doctor. Oh, I know. It's time for a checkup, most definitely. I'm down to one more pair of contacts (I use monthly disposables), and this dry eye issue has become persistent. But, honestly, THE WAITING. HATE. IT.

  8. Regarding the apostrophes, wow, that one bugs me a lot too. BLECH. What bugs me even more is when people write loose when they mean lose. "I would like to loose a couple of pounds". What, into the world? Keep your pounds, or send them to someone who needs them, damn it! I see this one so darned often. Blech again.

    Regarding your contacts, is your vision OK prior to putting the contact in? (I mean, not great, otherwise you wouldn't NEED them, but you know). Have you tried a new pair? (I'm sure you have). Have you tried putting some wetting drops in that eye after inserting the contact? Dry eyes can cause problems with vision while wearing contacts. If you've tried those things, I'm with Ally, get to the doctor.

    And your post cheered me considerably, because it reminded me that it is almost crab season in Northern California! Last year the water was too warm and we had toxic blooms that made eating local crab dangerous, and it was depressing and sad. (Though not depressing and sad for the crabs, I suspect, because as far as I can tell, the toxic bloom didn't make them sick, and they didn't get harvested, so yay toxic bloom if you're a crab!). I just looked online, and if I'm reading the report correctly, crab season starts TOMORROW!!!! Of course, that's recreational...I don't know when commercial crabbing begins...

    1. Just looked...commercial crabbing is set for November 15th! Yay!

    2. J@jj--Oh, fresh crab! How I love it. I love to eat crab in general. My friends in Southern Maryland think I drive down there to visit them, but in reality, I go just so I can eat really good crabcakes. DON'T TELL THEM.

      And yes, my vision is not any worse without my contact. It's a dry eye situation, I'm sure. I hate to give up contacts because VANITY. But using artificial tears is not cutting it, and the whole Restasis thing is not very cost-efficient or attractive (once you start it, you can't really stop it, is my understanding).

      And UGH--the lose/loose thing actually made me stop reading someone's blog. The writer had started going to Weight Watchers, so she began mentioning her weigh-ins in some posts. EVERY SINGLE TIME, she used "loose" for "lose." I just could not handle it anymore. Never went back. That was probably 2 years ago.

      RE: toxic blooms. We have to worry about toxic algal blooms a lot in Lake Erie. When it gets very warm, as it did last summer and this summer, and there is a lot of agricultural runoff into the shallow western end of the lake (which should be better regulated, but it's not), there is a terrible algal bloom. You can see it in satellite photos. It affects all sorts of ecological balances, but of course, CERTAIN SEGMENTS OF GOVERNMENT (READ republicans) do not want to do much in the way of regulation to counteract this effect.

  9. Somehow, in my eagerness to get to your list, I conflated "here I sit, bitching and grumping" to "here I sit, burping." And for a very brief moment I considered whether uncontrolled burping would make me crabby too. Yes, yes, it would.

    I'm sure I've mentioned it here before, but my number one word usage pet peeve is using "then" instead of "than." SO ANNOYING! But I think keeping my eagle eye out for that one makes me miss so many others that it's probably a good thing, really.

    I just went to the eye doctor & complained that my eyes are drier than usual (I had lasik about 12 years ago, so my eyes are somewhat dry anyway). He said that something (nodules? nodes? ducts? I don't remember) was clogged along my upper & lower lids & recommended a hot compress each day. So I've been saturating a wash cloth with the hottest water I can stand & sort of massaging it over my eyes. I'll let you know if I notice any difference. It feels really nice in any case, so I might keep doing it even if it doesn't help :)

    1. Bug--Oh, definitely; I've had bouts of belching, and it's terrifically annoying. To everyone.

      Then/than is a real growler for me as well. I don't see it too often, thank goodness.

      I like the idea of the hot compress. Does it have to be moist heat? You know me and mascara--I cannot live without it. I have a nice herbal hot pack I can use if it doesn't have to be a wet washcloth deal. Let me know. Otherwise, I'll have to do it in the evening when I am sans visage.

    2. I believe it has to be damp for clogged ducts. Maybe one in the morning before your shower, one in the evening before bed, and that would be enough. You can also talk to your eye doctor about different kinds of contacts that let in more air. Ted had trouble with the one month versions drying out his eyes (Maya and I wear the one month type), and his doctor suggested he switch to the 2 week kind. If it's really bad, you could try the daily sort. They're thinner and flimsy, but they let in a lot more air and don't dry out your eyes as much. Spendy, but perhaps worth a try. If they're too spendy, perhaps you could wear glasses at the contacts for when you're out and about.

    3. J@jj--I have gas permeable monthlies. And I only wear them for about 6 hours a day or so, and some weeks only 4 days. Thanks for all the info and your concern. My commenters are the best.

  10. 3. Ohio is pretty much a red state, except for NEO and Columbus. Ugh.

    My State, Pennsylvania, is also complex. We say we have Philadelphia on one side and Pittsburgh on the other side and Alabama in the middle. But, with all that we are still very BLUE! Go Hillary!

    1. Nancy--I think PA as a Firewall will hold, despite polls showing margins getting thinner. Kaine is helpful there, I know, and I think he is helping with other voter segments, too. Stay Blue! We need you.

  11. First of all my grammar is pathetic, my sister used to take a red pen to all my papers, she probably still should. As for crabby, count me in. I have headache after headache, the freaking election is not helping. Sleep, if I get it is very non restful. Is the non restful, or non-restful? See I told you I am bad at all of this.

    1. Mereknits--Non-restful, if you are using it. If you're not sure, then just rework your sentence to something you are sure of, such as, "Sleep, if I get it, isn't restful at all."

      I always told my writing students to "Write Around It." Find a different way to say it, one you are more sure of, in order to avoid any bugaboos entirely.

      OK--Teacher Hat is officially OFF.

      I'm terribly sorry about your headaches. My PT seems to be helping me in that regard thus far (KNOCKS ON WOOD) in that I am not getting any migraines, even with the stress of the election, the weather being goofy, and my sleep problems (which are resolving, thankfully).

      But your headaches...dreadful. I won't offer any advice because I know you don't need any. Instead, I will offer sympathy, support, and Hope.

  12. I am basically not a crabby person. So it feels rather foreign to find myself as crabby as Lucy Van Pelt. I'm blaming the never-ending 2016 election cycle that began in earnest on the first day of President Obama's second term. It was enhanced by the failure of the early debate moderators to explain to DJT that condescending adjectives would not be tolerated to describe or address the other candidates in that forum. Add the collective whine of the very party that allowed such a person to rise to the level of its nominee and I am crabby to the core just like Crabby Appleton.

    If the election is indeed the primary driving reason for my newfound crabbiness, then it might actually end for a while. On the other hand, if the 2020 race begins on Wednesday my life may never be simple again.

    1. NCmountainwoman--As a denizen of North Carolina, a major Battleground State, you have my sympathy. We in Ohio, a former tipping point state, understand just how you feel. Our status is not so crucial anymore, and will not be again once we lose another electoral vote in the next election due to an ever-declining population. (Lots of our citizens are moving to your state!)

      The republican party has learned precisely Nothing from its last run for the White House, having failed to act upon its earlier intention to become a "bigger tent" and open its arms to Latinos and African Americans and the LGBT community. Instead, it continued to embrace the narrowest minds and worst of its fringes, and it nominated a caricature of itself and its darkest sins.

      Eight years ago, I was dumb and naive enough to think that, once GWB was gone, these trolls would go back under their bridges and leave us all alone to pull America back into the Light. I know better now. It's more like Pandora's Box. But at least their leader, with the toddler mentality he possesses, will go away and play with something else. It's the rest of us that have to clean up his mess, but at least he will go home.


Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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