A recent commercial for Stamps.com advises, "There's nothing worse than going to the post office and waiting in line."
Now, taking into account that the creators of this ad will stipulate that waiting at the P.O. is nothing compared to the truly terrible events that can occur in the course of our lives, such as terminal illness, death of a loved one, shark attack, or even a traumatic automobile accident, here is my
List of Ten Things I Think Are Worse Than Waiting In Line At The Post Office
(in no particular order)
1. Dropping a new package of Oreos before you even get one cookie
2. Losing a contact lens down the bathroom drain
3. Having to clean Piper's back end because of a residue issue
4. Undergoing a transvaginal sonogram with a Foley catheter in
5. Drinking the Very Last Bottle of 2007 Cattail Creek Barrel Fermented Chardonnay
6. Moving the furniture to vacuum
7. Standing in a store and calculating--in my head--the best deal
8. Cleaning the stovetop or any of the stainless appliances in the kitchen
9. Being forced to use self-checkout at the grocery store
10. Navigating automated telephone menus & listening to staticky, garbled hold music
I find all of these ten things to be peevish and horrid. Gladly would I trade any of them to stand in the post office line for anyone who would take the bullet on one of these for me. So, who is willing to trade one of my Ten for a post office line session? Anyone?
Anyone? Ah, well. Then tell me some of your Worse Things in Comments.