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Thursday, January 19, 2012

That's Okay, I'm Just Not Into Martians, Either

Those of us who have been married for eleventy thousand years snicker at books like Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus or even the more recent He's Just Not That Into You because they are like studies that tell us we'll eat more from bigger bowls. 

Duh.  All obvious info. 

Consider:

Scene opens on living room.  Nance is in her chair, reading from newspaper.  Rick is lounging on floor, messing with iPhone and various apps.

Nance (finishing news item aloud)...So!  How about that?  How does that sound?
Rick (not looking up, barely audible)  We could do that.  That would be okay.  Maybe then you would stop hating me so much.
Nance(rather impassioned) Hating you?!  Rick, don't even joke like that.  I could never hate you.  You could disappoint me, or make me sad, or make me angry with you, but I could never actually hate you.  Not ever.
(pause)
Rick (intently looking at his phone)  Why isn't there a single Arby's anywhere near where I work?

End Scene

15 comments:

  1. Ha! You know what's really funny here is that if this scenario were reenacted in my home, I would be Rick & Mike would be Nance. But I would be looking for a nearby Long John Silvers instead of Arbys.

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  2. Mikey G.12:23 PM

    Arby's restaurants aren't the best, but as I spent five years living in places where they don't exist (Manhattan and Rhode Island), I often get cravings for a roast beef sandwich every few months or so.

    Amusingly enough, there is precisely ONE Arby's restaurant in all of San Francisco, and there's a bus that goes directly from my house to the restaurant. I think I need to be making a trip sometime soon...

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  3. Why did this conversation remind me of the story of the woman who was riding through the "Big Sky" country of Montana in her pickup truck?

    When she saw an Indian woman standing by the side of the road she stopped and asked if the woman needed a ride. The woman got in the truck without saying a word and they drove on.

    About 5 miles later the Indian woman noticed a bag on the front seat near where she was sitting and asked,"What is this?" The driver answered, "That's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

    Two miles later the Indian said,
    "Good Trade!"

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  4. In my house, it would be Women are from Earth and Children are from Alpha Centauri. I haven't had this EXACT conversation with my daughter, but have had many others that are frighteningly close. I may have more senior moments as time goes on, but my child has the attention span of a gnat, so discussions at our house are ... interesting, to say the least.

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  5. LaFF--Oh, teens/kids...that's to be expected. They are the Heroes Of Selected Hearing when a parent/teacher/adult authority is speaking. Didn't you ever watch a Charlie Brown special? Remember the adult voice? LOL.

    Nancy--Sigh. I know, right? Rick used to be a little upset as I racked up lists of tasks/feats I accomplished without his help, saying, "Pretty soon you won't need me for anything!" Now, he just says,"Oh. Uh huh. Good for you. Where's my...?" or something like that. What the heck?

    Mikey--One bite of Arby's will quell that craving, trust me. It's not that great. I'm always disappointed. But it looks so good on TV!

    Bug--Wow. Long John Silver's. You know, we have one around here someplace, but I don't see how it stays in business. I never hear of anyone who eats or has eaten there. And I think the last time I ate there, I was pregnant with one of the boys, so it's been more than 20 years. Yikes. How is it?

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  6. LaFF--Er, make that "Selective" Hearing. Sigh. Cat nudging during commenting makes one lose one's concentration. And patience.

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  7. Well, I can't get my "usual" anymore - fish & fries. It's just too greasy. Sigh. BUT, they have baked/broiled options that come with veggies & rice & it's not too bad really.

    Unfortunately there's not one anywhere near us so I usually eat at the one in Gallipolis on our way to NC.

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  8. I've often thought of starting a Web site for Spouses of Engineers. There needs to be a place to record all the ways we don't line up.

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  9. It's not so much Selective as it is Distracted. We can be having a completely normal conversation and suddenly she's commenting on something I didn't even notice. The conversation instantly goes in another direction entirely. This happens frequently and can be disconcerting. It's always been that way, and now that she's almost 20, I don't have much hope for a change. And pet the pesky kitty for me. :)

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  10. Note to Vgrrl. Me, too. Iron ring guys are from ......... Mercury? Pluto?


    Outer space?

    Love Arby's. I can get beef with cheese without Mr Tradition noticing.

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  11. Mary G.--I used to get Beef n' Cheddar and drown it in the Horsey Sauce. So far back in The Day. I'm just a big fan of beef and horseradish.

    LaFF--Consider him petted. He's appreciative.

    V--Rick is not an engineer, but I hear you (unlike...oh, never mind. LOL). It's definitely nice to have the balancing effect between us: he is eminently practical and logical when I get impulsive or heedless because of my emotions; I can provide the more interpretive view necessary in situations where he is left feeling clueless. But times like this post really crystallize it, you know?

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  12. This made me laugh out loud. We have conversations like this all of the time.

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  13. 3rd Rail--Sigh. See what I mean? Why aren't WE writing the books and making all the cash?

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  14. Oh, dear. I have these conversations with myself. When Mr. O. joins the fray, they are truly incredible. Add to that the fact that when one's memory, er, starts to fail a bit, well... I would tell you, but encroaching senilty prevents me from remembering right now exactly what I wanted to say. Or at least with any logic and clarity.
    (The WORD VER is "honkin". I'm just sayin'...)

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  15. Ortizzle--Now that I am not working and not teaching, I am highly distractable. That is true. But my "ADD" is nowhere near Rick's constant ADD. Add to that his deafness in one ear, and we are truly a terrible pair as we struggle to find a sense of Empty Nest compatibility. Without falling asleep at 9. LOL.

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Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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