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Sunday, August 02, 2009

...And Don't Say, "Blueberries" Because They Really Aren't Blue, They're Purple. Think About It.

What is with all this blue crap around to eat and drink? Blue Kool-Aid, blue cotton candy, blue gum, blue Jell-O, even. It's hideous. The final straw for me in this whole Blue Coup was the introduction of the blue M&M. I blogged about that indignity back in 2006, and I still hate how the blue M&M has screwed up the aesthetics of the basic M&M collection.

It's not that I have anything inherently against blue. In general, I'm cool with blue. (I used to have a nice blue bathroom.) But when it comes to food and drink, let's leave blue out of it. It's just not natural. There is no organically blue food.

Tons of weightloss research (now there's a pun!) has been done regarding the effect of blue; it's no accident that blue is off-putting to the appetite. Of grownups. Kids and teens, however, go ga-ga over blue stuff. Witness how popular blue sports drinks are. I've noticed in my own classroom how often students bring in blue drinks, even when there is the aftereffect of a blue tongue. Years ago, I started my own campaign with a very dire warning:

Me: Hey. You need to stop drinking that blue crap. All blue crap.
Kid: Why?
Me: What if someone switched it up and gave you Windex? You wouldn't know it until it was too late. Then you'd really be in trouble.
Kid: Wha--Oh, Mrs. D. You so crazy.

Whatever! Guess what happened?

Oh, just this, and I quote from the lead paragraph: "Ten children at a day care center drank windshield wiper fluid after a staffer served it from a container mistaken for Kool-Aid and placed in a refrigerator." Guess what color it was? BLUE! Each of the tots drank about an ounce of the toxin before realizing that it "tasted funny," according to another source.

An isolated incident of sheer stupidity that could never, ever happen again? HA! If only! Guess what is now banned at the Sedgwick County Zoo in Kansas. Blue Sno-Cones. Now guess why. Because an employee put blue degreaser on the treats instead of blue sugar syrup. According to the story, "A Sedgwick County Zoo employee could not tell the difference between the two and it nearly made four people sick."

I have, I believe, more than made my point.

Only to be foiled by my boyfriend, CNN.com. Fie on you, CNN.com. Fie on you for posting this story--and its adorable accompanying photo.
If you look closely at this little mousie, you will notice something unusual about it. Its tiny ears and paws are...blue. Blue from its Miracle Drug Treatment of...M&M Blue. Sigh. Yep. Scientists have found that the same dye that makes blue Gatorade and M&Ms (Brilliant Blue G) has a valuable therapeutic effect in the treatment of spinal cord injury when tested on laboratory mice. So far, the only side effect is the temporary blue discoloration. Which is, dammit, cute. On a mouse, at least, although if a person were to turn blue, then probably not cute. At all.

But let's leave blue in the science labs and cleaning products where it belongs. Let's not mix it in with the groceries and candy stores and concession stands, okay? Can we agree on that?

I'm Not A Fan Of Blue Food. Blue Medicine, of course. And Blue Pets...now that might be a Blue Innovation I can get behind. Temporarily.

22 comments:

  1. Steve M4:15 PM

    Blue pets and blue...politics? Don't forget about how appealing the color blue is when it comes to politics.

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  2. Nothing is going to redeem the blue M & M, NOTHING. Not even healing the lame and enhancing the appearance of lab rats.

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  3. Nancy6:46 PM

    "Each of the tots drank about an ounce of the toxin before realizing that it "tasted funny," according to another source.

    What does this say about the taste of real Kool Aid? The kids drank a whole ounce of the poison ,not just one sip, before declaring that the drink tasted funny....

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  4. Love that George Carlin bit. Blue food is unsettling in my book as well. I never eat blue popsicles or candy, not that either are all that natural in the first place.

    And that mouse is all kinds of adorable.

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  5. Anonymous9:12 AM

    One exception to blue food is blue crabs from the Chesapeake Bay region, especially in Southern, MD.

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    Replies
    1. They are whiite inside.

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  6. I have always steered clear of blue drinks. Now I know why: it's the "you might be drinking Windex" factor. The only blue drink that I ever tried was a martini made with Bombay Sapphire gin. Apart from the fact that I was getting a bad vibe from drinking that color, the martini just didn't taste the same. We won't even go into what the green olive looked like floating in a sea of blue.

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  7. My gosh, I was just ranting about this blue phenomenon on my Facebook a couple of days ago. I'm a little OCD about M&Ms, order them by color, and always cull out the blue ones! And I said, "Even blueberries aren't really blue."

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  8. Amen to outlawing blue food. The Windex factor not withstanding the sight of blue lips and tongues is very disturbing. Blue food has always been banned around here.

    But that mouse... painfully cute.

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  9. I don't know what everyone's problem is with blue M&Ms, but they don't bother me at all. Maybe it's because I'm colorblind, but a little bit of blue candy doesn't bother me when it tastes so good. Blue Kool-Aid, however, is just weird.

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  10. J.--That mouse really does undermine My Mission. Aaarrrggghh.

    Sputnik--I don't do Facebook, so it's nice to know someone else is fighting the No Blue Food fight on another front. RE: M&Ms OCD--the only thing good about non-original M&M colors is the fact that, after the holidays they commemorate are over, these goofy-hued little goodies go on sale half off.

    Ortizzle--Here's how A)unsophisticated and B)anti-gin I am. I never knew that THE GIN was actually blue. I thought it was THE BOTTLE. Blue gin. How utterly juvenile. And the Olive Thing...good heavens. I can't imagine how off-putting that was.

    Anon--But their MEAT isn't blue. The ANIMAL itself is, unless I'm not thinking correctly, a gorgeous Caribbean blue. But once you heat those babies, they aren't blue any more--isn't that correct?

    Tiana--You know, I wasn't even aware that George Carlin had a blue food bit...was I? Now I have to google.

    Nancy--I know, right? An ounce isn't all that much, yet a big gulp for a preschooler. Those must have been darn thirsty kiddles.

    V-Grrrl--I know that, as an artist, the blue M&M especially offends your sensibilities. I think we should be able to buy Original M&Ms without the blue in special packaging. Maybe we should start a movement. (In our spare time...)

    Steve M--How nice to see you in Brainstorms again. Yay! And yes, Blue for Politics...goes without saying!

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  11. Mikey--If you read my original (linked) blogpost, I think I spelled my reasons out pretty well. And let's face it--you're just a very laid-back guy who doesn't get bothered by a whole helluva lot anyway. (And that's a good thing for the most part!)

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  12. Haha, yes, he does. I thought that's where the title of this entry came from. Search "George Carlin blue food" on YouTube.

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  13. I like the blue m & m. I think they're quite pretty, actually. I ran out of red food coloring once, and dyed my lemonade blue. Very cool.

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  14. Didn't there used to be a bumper sticker out there that said: No Blue Food? Maybe I dreamed it. Dreamt? Whatever.

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  15. J.@jj--You know, it's an odd thing about lemonade. I actually prefer the Pink Kool-Aid lemonade to the regular. I do detect a taste difference. And I refuse to believe it is just because I think the pink is prettier. But if I'm making homemade lemonade, I wouldn't dye it at all, I don't think.

    apathy lounge--If there was one, I never saw it. Yesterday at Trader Joe's, I saw a Free Tibet bumper sticker. How apt is that?

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  16. Excellent post, Nance. You are right on target with this one. Blue is just crazy for these foods and drinks. (And, actually all the dyes are horrid. Hubby was even getting migraines from new dyes in Gatorade.)

    I like that mouse (he could give the current super cute bunny competition), but I do feel very sorry for him.

    What about the blue man that was on Oprah? He literally turned blue from drinking colloidal silver. He looked like Papa Smurf. Video here: http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/story?section=news/local&id=5963785

    Shirley

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  17. Shirley--I remember that blue guy from a different show on another channel about unusual people. He was on with the freaky tiger-tattooed guy and another lady who was turned blue, not by choice, from the colloidal silver. From what I recall about the Blue Man, he continues to drink the silver in order to stay blue and to retain what he thinks are the health benefits.

    re: the bunny. I have the HUGE version as my desktop wallpaper. totally adorable. got it at dailybunny.com.

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  18. Gosh, I didn't even realize that blue M&Ms were out there. I'd take a blue mouse for sure though!!!

    I'd never really considered a cleaning product or something else weird being but into a cup or bottle by accident...crazy! I don't think I tend to gravitate towards blue drinks but now I'll surely stay away!!

    True story...I looked at the bunny in your side bar and then checked back in a couple of minutes to be sure that he was still there!!! Maybe too much Harry Potter (things photos don't hang around in wizarding world...)

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  19. Nina--Holy crap, woman. Blue M&Ms have been around for probably 10 years. You just never noticed, I'm sure. RE: the bunny. If I could have found a way to make it disappear, I would have! LOL. Doesn't it look like it will hop out of that little window?

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  20. Blue? What's not to like. Do you know about Vervet monkey equipment? Check this out.http://travel.mongabay.com/uganda/images/ug3-3856.html

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  21. Oh my. And did you notice, btw, the name of the photographer? Wonder if he gave a damn....

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