Monday, January 29, 2007

Dirty Martini Day

It was just that kind of day.

I got home, peeled off my mittens--I still can't find my leather driving gloves--hung up my coat, tossed my purse and school bag into my "office" (the corner between the livingroom table and loveseat), and made my way into the kitchen where I immediately commissioned Jared to assemble the vermouth, vodka, olives, and cocktail shaker. Rooting around for the glass, I said, "It's February, you know? They should not be disappointing me like this anymore."

"I know, Mom," he said. "...But we're out of olives. I bought some nice pinot grigio today. How about that instead?"

"Look in the bottom shelf, way in the back," I said knowingly. "It's a dirty martini or nothing. Trust me."

"How can you drink martinis? What about a Cosmo? I'll go back out and get some cranberry juice and I'll have a Cosmo with you," he said, obviously hearing echoes of some dusty warning mantra of never drink alone.

"Aha!" My foray into the unknown of the refrigerator had proven successful. Giant green olives, pimentoes poking promiscuously forth, were in my grasp! I pushed past him to the counter and arrayed my arsenal: Three Olives vodka, Martini & Rossi dry vermouth, shot glass, freebie cocktail shaker from Express (a gift-with-purchase from Christmas shopping!), and the olives. I was in business.

I swiveled quickly and hit the lever on the icemaker, filling the shaker with ice, then measured the requisite ingredients. I paused, calculating just how "dirty" I wanted this martini to be. I considered my day. Throwing caution to the winds, I added two heaping spoons of olive brine to the mix. I wanted to be dirty, baby, real dirty! Piling three huge olives into my tigerstriped martini glass, all that was left then was to shake.

I thought of the student who had not yet turned in one single assignment since the new semester had started on January 16th. I thought of the students who had signed up to be on the staff of my literary magazine in September but had not yet turned in one, single, solitary poem or story. I thought of the teacher who used my room for his study hall 8th period and started off by saying, "Now, I'm not strict...!" I thought of the secretary who made me fill out a requisition form in triplicate for a box of paper clips. AND I SHOOK THAT MARTINI.

And then I poured it out and went to my computer. I sipped and enjoyed and relaxed. And I wrote this blogpost.


  1. Blogging under the influence! I should try it! I hope you have a nice evening! : )

  2. I'll drink with you anytime. I had awful kids today.

  3. You had me at the promiscuous pimento. And Jared is THE MAN.

    And it's not February YET, it just feels like it's been February FOREVER.

  4. anali--the evening got better as the level in the glass got lower, thanks.

    j.--i'm just so tired of them all, you know? we've been together a half-year now, and they haven't developed at all. this is the result of allowing just ANYONE to take honors. it's killing me.

    v--yeah, i liked the image of the pimento, too. i put 3 olives in that martini, and was positively enamored of all of them. the dirty is my drink. and when it gets this low in the month, i just cut it loose. it's been february for about a week as far as i'm concerned. i hate the dregs of any month. just feels messy.

  5. God bless your heart, Nance. I am so with you on every count:

    1. The Martini: Now I know how to make a "dirty" one. Here's the classic that has always been my mainstay:
    (a) Remove frosted martini glass from freezer.
    (b) Dribble in a thimbleful of Martini & Rossi.
    (c) Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and pour in enough gin to fill remainder of martini glass.
    (d) Shake well (sorry James Bond) and pour into frosted martini glass.
    (e) Add small olive if desired, and a thin twist of lemon peel.

    NOTE: Beefeater was the gin of choice for me until somebody introduced me to Bombay.

    2. School stuff: I hear you, sister! How about this: the student who hasn't turned in homework since January 4th; curriculum mapping due today in the middle of a computer crisis; the department chair, on hearing that you would like to request speakers for the projection device you are supposed to be using in your classroom, who replies by asking you to research prices and do a comparative study before sending in the requisition; a student who has already gradutated comes to visit you asking you to write recommendations to ten colleges because she is not happy where she is and wants to transfer, and by the way, the envelopes she thoughtfully provided for you do not have stamps; in a faculty meeting it is announced that all teachers will be observed on the days when the Accreditation Ogres visit the school, and we had better have the Lesson Plan of the Century Planned for every single class during those two days... all in one day, and that's not even everything.


  6. Do I still want to pursue this career? Yes. I can hold my liquor. Which is an obvious requirement.

    Thanks, by the way, for the comment on my blog. Didn't realize it was there until now. Guess I need to get on it.

    I am impressed by your son's ability to match his purse with his outfit. I have a bad picture if you're interested.

    I think my topic for my American National Government paper will be "The media's role in influencing elections". I can squeeze 2000 words outta that. Oh, and don't tell your other son; I don't want to lose that topic.

    Ok, enough.

  7. O'tizz--Honey, we can go on all day. Until the kids beg us to teach them and the parents beg us to forgive them, it will never, ever be enough.

    danielle--Your comments remind me that A)my sons are so very, very self-actualized, and B)I am long overdue for a political blogpost.

    Everyone duck.


Oh, thank you for joining the fray!

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